Dr C Anson Sex Therapist, proclaimed the brass plaque on the posh Harley Street house. Underneath, By Appointment Only.
I was a lucky one who had an appointment, and very nervously keyed in my name Don and my birthdate. I'd almost forgotten, I am over 40 now!
The door clicked and a soft recorded voice announced Please come in.
The spacious entrance hall served as a waiting room. A large screen on the ornate staircase bore a message:
Don, your Sex Therapy will begin in about fifteen minutes. Nurse Alice will be with you then. Please make yourself at home.
Well, I was a few minutes ahead of time, and doctors are always late aren't they?
But this waiting was making me more and more uncomfortable. Should I really have come here? Could I afford it!
I glanced idly at the magazines, not the usual ones for a surgery- My eye caught Men Only, and Sissies Monthly. I hastily looked away but the far wall held large framed photos that were equally disconcerting: a naked man proudly displaying his erect Big Boy, and a delicious blonde flaunting her naked breasts.
I collapsed into one of the armchairs, and sunk deep into it, staring at the thick red carpet.
Perhaps I ought to go? No, I needed help, I'd known it for years. But since my marriage had failed, I'd realized that truth more than ever. My divorce had come thru last month, and that is what had decided me. No, that's not entirely correct. Two weeks back, I'd dated a female in her thirties, and she had walked away after half an hour in my company, shouting at me that what I should be looking for was a slave.
Amid these depressing musings, a young attractive girl, maybe 22 though she looked and acted about 10, skipped innocently out of the room marked Surgery. She was about five foot six, wore a semi-shiny orange frilly dress, over a bright yellow silk blouse with ruffles around her neck.
Following her was another girl, in a hooped green and white cotton top and short black pvc skirt, the pair skipped to the front door and the yellow and orange girl bade farewell to the patient, kissing her sweetly. Then she turned to me smiling,
"You must be Don, pweased to welcome you. I'm thure Dr Anthon will be able to help you."
I didn't wholeheartedly share her optimism, but warmed to this friendly nurse, who introduced herself as Alice.
She sat next to me, and took down my details on her tablet. All the usual data, but also she asked about my disastrous marriage.
"There, Don, me will show dis to Dr Anthon, then call you in wery thoon."
She disappeared into the surgery, where I heard her gentle voice, and a slightly deeper voice questioning her, though I couldn't make out the actual words. Goodness, I suddenly thought, my own doctor referred me to this therapist, but I don't even know if they are male or female!
Oh well, I will find out shortly.
The door reopened.
"Pwease come in, Don," sang Nurse Alice. Well not exactly sang, but she spoke in a sing-song voice. She held the door open as I stepped into a darkish large room. The dark red walls gave a sombre atmosphere, the thick red carpet, like that in the waiting room, made for a slightly oppressive atmosphere.
Dr Anson however broke the ice, perhaps noticing my hesitant entrance. She wore a velour dress, its bright red color stood out pleasantly in the dark light, tassels adorned the top half, hiding her tiny breasts, while below the shiny red belt, the dress was heavily pleated. Under was a pretty frilly blouse, exactly the same style as Nurse Alice's, but in a color that looked pinkish, though it was hard to tell in the subdued light.
As she shook my hand, she towered over me, even though I am nearly six foot.
"Welcome Don, and do please sit down." She pointed to a comfy chair similar to the one I had recently quit, again in red. She sat behind a large desk, Nurse Alice standing unobtrusively to the side.
She asked me to talk about myself, which I felt a little pointless, since Nurse Alice had already taken down all my details. I was starting to feel I was wasting my money, when her question brought me up with a jolt.
"So would you say Don, that you were to blame for the breakdown of your marriage with Donna?"
"Oh no, doctor, it was her fault. She was always demanding too much."
"What do you mean, Don?"
"Well, er, she always tried to go on after we had done it...."
"You mean had intercourse?"
"Er, well, er yes."
"Did you have vaginal intercourse?"
"Oh, yes, er, usually."
"After you had ejaculated, did she tell you that you hadn't satisfied her?"
I was worried how the doctor had reached the heart of our problem.
"Well yes, she kept insisting she wanted us to seek a marriage counselor."
"No, I- I was scared what might come out, if I am honest."
"Now, Don, at least we are being honest, aren't we? What were you scared might come out?"
"Well, er, I don't exactly know..."
"But she wasn't satisfied?"
She had hit me where it hurt.
"How often would you say you enjoyed intercourse that satisfied you, Don?"
A long silence made me shift uncomfortably.
"Would you say occasionally?
A shake of my head brought on her next embarrassing question, which fired out like a bullet.
"Don, did you ever once feel satisfied after intercourse?"
I said nothing. She knew the awful truth, even if I had not told her as much.
"I think that is as far as our talk need go now, Don. We have made a promising start. I am sure we can dig deeper and then I can help you."
That drew a flicker of a smile from me. But most of all I was relieved, so relieved at her seeming to understand my long lasting difficulty.
"Now I need to examine you. Nurse, will you undress Don?"
Alice, who had been writing notes, sprung over to me and offered me a hand up. Nervously I took her hand, which was warm and soft.
While Dr Anson, scribbled under Nurse Alice's notes, I was ushered away behind a screen, where there was a swish couch.
"No, stand dere," whispered nurse, as I made to lay on it.
She unbuttoned my blue shirt, and lifted it off my head. I sensed she was enjoying this. As for me, I was too sick with embarrassment.
Then she unzipped my pants and bid me step out of them.
"Me like your silk underwear," she commented, a remark that didn't seem entirely one that a proper nurse should make. She stroked the turquoise material over my shoulder and delighted in the sensuous feel. I too loved the silk next my skin, but was surprised to find her like this, in this situation.
"Now you can lie down,"she ordered quietly. "Doctor will be with you pwesently."
I lay on the couch feeling more and more tense. Would she expect me to be erect? Well, I couldn't in these circs. She'll have to take me as I am. Was she ever gonna come?
"Relax," Dr Anson smiled, "no need to be shy, I've seen it all before!"
She was holding a magnifying glass, which she hovered over my panties.
"Nice underwear, Don. You like silk do you?"
I mumbled something, fervently wishing this ordeal could be over."
"Now do stop feeling so tense, Don. Your whole body is fighting. Take a deep breath, that's it, and another...."
She deftly pulled down my panties. I am sure she started at what greeted her.
"I'm not touching you, so don't worry, please."
I slowly unwound as her magnifying glass scoured every inch of my little Boy, and my balls.
"Nurse!" she suddenly called.
"Roll back the foreskin please."
She sounded a trifle too eager for my liking.
The glass resumed its examination. I half laughed when I thought to myself, how much out of ten is she awarding me?
"That's much better," smiled Dr Anson in appreciation of my tiny laugh, "you know we're not here to harm you, only help."
I gave her a little nod of appreciation.
"Now I am just going to touch you once. Keep yourself relaxed."
Suddenly she pressed my Boy and I was amazed how quickly it grew. I went all red.
"No, relax I said," she ordered, scrutinizing my extended boy thoroughly. I was blushing profusely. But at least I was very thankful that she did not make any adverse comments. Unlike my ex-wife.
"There, that's all over."
She wrote some notes on the tablet Nurse Alice handed to her, glancing back to my rapidly shriveling Boy a few times.
"Good!" She covered my embarrassment and added, "get dressed, no, forget that, stay as you are, come back to your chair."
So there I sat, in my silk underwear, as Nurse Alice held my clothes and Dr Anson ended my appointment.
"I want you to come back same time next Monday in this same underwear. What's more, I want you to wear it all the time- you can spray it with deodorant if you wish, but don't take it off. Understand?"
I nodded, even if I was puzzled.
"Furthermore, you must have no sexual activity in this period. Are you in a relationship at the moment?"
I shook my head. If I had been, I wouldn't be here, I reflected.
"So do you masturbate?" She looked at me sharply.
I went beetroot red.
"I see you do. None of that, either. No sex at all, okay?"
I sat there shaking.
"I need an answer Don."
"No sex, doctor."
"Good, see you next Monday. We'll have you right, never worry!"
Sheepishly, I keyed in my name and date of birth. It was a week later and I could hardly wait for this next appointment to come round. All week long I'd thought about how Dr Anson might solve the depths of my problem, which she had at least begun to unravel.
The waiting room was much the same. The screen welcomed me and warned Nurse Alice would be with me as soon as possible, but it might be half an hour.
I sighed. A long wait was not gonna settle my nerves. A further note flashed on the screen:
Please read the short story on the table.
There was only one there, among those same sexy magazines. On the front cover was a picture of a frenetic looking girl raging among the rags of torn frills that must once have been her dress. Bimbo Slut was the title.
It wasn't my kinda fantasy, but I wanted to be dutiful, especially as I hadn't been quite so compliant in other matters.
"You like de stowy?" asked Nurse Alice, who had skipped up to me without my hearing her. Perhaps I had been more engrossed than I dared admit.
"Er yes, thanks."
"Dr Anthon will be wid you soon. Sowwy for de delay."
With that she skipped off.
I returned to the erotic Bimbo. Half an hour later, I still had not got to the climax of the story. I had been looking forward to finding out how the bimbo had wound up like in the picture, but I was not fated to learn that. Nurse Alice skipped thru the room, followed by a young Adonis. Surely He cannot be a patient I thought, he can't need any help.
"Goodbye Shaun," cooed Nurse Alice, "see you Fwiday."
She kissed him and closed the front door. Jealously I reflected that she kissed him on departing, but last week she had not done that for me.
"Now Don, it's good to thee you again."
"Good to be back."
She took out her tablet. Not more questioning!
"Have you been a good boy since last Monday?" she asked.
"Er, yes, thanks."
"Have you indulged in any sexual activity of any sort?"
I drew a deep breath. If I said no, an examination would find me out. If I said yes, I might be in trouble.
She saw my hesitation and pounced.
"Tell me what you did," she ordered in a sharper voice than I had ever heard from her.
"Well, I- I was feeling in need of release, you see, and- and I had to jerk off in front of, of, well, someone." I didn't like to tell her it was an imaginary photo of her!
"Dr Anthon will not be at all pweased."
She left me sitting embarrassed while she went into the surgery. Their voices, I strained to hear. To no avail.
"Dr Anthon is not pweased," Nurse Alice declared to me minutes later.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"You must abstain again. Doctor says come back this Friday at 9am."
"Are you wearing your same silk underwear."
"Oh yes," I replied, eager to make amends.
"But what did you do with your cum?"
I mumbled incoherently.
"Doctor thays, no cleaning up dis time, no nothing. Do you understand?"
"Yes miss, I mean yes nurse."
"Otherwise Dr Anthon may not continue your treatment. I'll see you out."
I was distressed. "Am I not even to see Dr Anson?"
"Sorry, dere is no point. But you won't be charged for dis visit. Goodbye."
I was out in the street without so much as a peck on the cheek.
Three and a half days later, I was standing outside the door from which I had virtually been kicked out on my last visit.
However I was confident today, for I had been in my own words "a good boy."
Confidently I entered the waiting room.
Today the screen read, Nurse Alice will be with you very soon.
Probably I was the first patient of the day. The fact was proved when Nurse Alice skipped out from a different door, it looked like the kitchen, and greeted me fairly matter-of-factly.
"So, dis time, have you been a good boy?" she queried, with a note of suspicion in her voice.
"Oh yes, thanks."
"Have you indulged in any sexual activity of any sort?"
"No," I announced confidently.
"Dat's good. Doctor will be pweased. Are you still wearing your same underwear?"
"One more to ask, Don," she smiled, "did you have any accidents?"
"Sorry, I don't quite understand."
"I mean, have you had any leakage of your cum?"
"No, you told me I mustn't," I protested.
"Yes, dat's twue, but in your sleep you might have accidentally let out your cum?"
"Okay, follow me, pwease."
She skipped lightly into the surgery.
More circumspectly, I followed on.
"Good to see you again," smiled Dr Anson, as though we had never had any problems at all. She shook my hand, it was a reminder that she was in charge. She indicated I should retreat behind the screen. Nurse Alice was already poised by the couch.
Before I knew it, she had my shirt off. My pants were unzipped, and I stood before her in my light blue underwear.
I was ready on the couch when Dr Anson came in with her magnifier.
She took down my panties at once, which surprised me. I had expected some interrogation. Her manner hinted she might not entirely believe in my virgin-like state.
Her glass surveyed every part of my limp Boy.
"Good, good," she was murmuring. She was defrosting noticeably.
"I am going to touch you now," she warned, "it won't hurt."
On the contrary, I found myself fighting an erection as her hand felt over my Big Boy.
"Have you had any dreams?" she asked, as she fondled me pleasantly. "Don't worry about it getting big."
"No I don't remember any dreams."
It was big!
"Think hard, please."
Hard was a provocative word!
"No, I can't recall any, sorry, is it important?"
"No matter. Anyway, I can feel your cum stored in here," she smiled, caressing the passage in my penis, "you must be nearly full. In future, I want you to write down anything about your dreams, as soon as you wake up."
"Very well, doctor."
"Right, pull up your panties, and join me at my desk."
She was writing on the tablet when I sat down. She handed it to Nurse Alice, then looked me up and down.
"Last time, we established you never felt satisfied after having sex with your wife. Right."
"Nothing for you to be ashamed about, Don. But I want you to tell me a bit more."
"I want you to be entirely truthful. I want to help you, and I can only do that if you are honest with me."
Yes, I understand. I- I do want your help."
"Yes, I know. Now I want you to think back to the last time you masturbated. That was last week wasn't it?"
"I'm pleased you have refrained since then. Tell me, were you satisfied afterwards?"
"Well no, I never am."
"So let's be more specific. When you ejaculate, describe to me the excitement you experience."
"I- I dont."
"Nothing at all?" she sounded shocked. "What sensation do you feel?"
"None, it- it's like urinating. I don't feel any pleasure in it."
"I see. So why did you want to masturbate?"
"I just became overwhelmed with a feeling I had to."
"Was it the same when you had a partner?"
"Well, sometimes she would try and turn me on, sometimes it was me who wanted to ejaculate."
"That's an interesting way of putting it. But if you knew you didn't have any real pleasure in ejaculating, why did you wanna have sex?"
"Oh, I think it was to do with needing to release my cum. Does that sound stupid?"
"Not at all. Was that the case thru-out your marriage?"
"What about before you met Donna? Did you feel like that when you had sex with anyone else?"
"No I didn't have any other relationship."
"Well when you masturbated. Did you never experience any pleasure?"
"Er, well, I think I- I may have done actually."
"Okay, we must explore that next time. You have done very well Don."
"Thanks," I blushed.
"We are making progress. Now I want you to listen. I want you to come back Monday next at 9am."
"Yes Dr Anson."
"I don't want you to masturbate. Understand?"
"Er, okay doctor."
"Believe me, it's important. No sex at all. Furthermore, I want you not to wash anything except your hands, I want your body exactly as it is at this present moment. Furthermore that also means, don't have your hair cut. Oh, but you can shave if you wish."
"I think I understand."
"Now I want you to continue to wear your underwear, even at night. During the day I would like you to wear shorts.
"Listen, your body will demand to ejaculate soon. Have you ever released cum in your sleep?"
"Er, er, yes, at times."
"Well, you are not to worry if, or rather when this happens. But I do want you to continue to wear these same panties. Nurse Alice is giving you a pair of waterproof pvc over panties. I suggest you wear these to prevent soiling your shorts."
"I think I will."
"Nearly finished. Nurse is giving you a phial now. Scrape some of your ejaculated cum as soon as possible, and seal it in the phial, and bring it on Monday. Finally, I mentioned about your dreams. I want you to write a diary recording everything you can remember about when you ejaculate, as soon as possible afterwards."
"Yes doctor. But if I do let out my cum, in my sleep that is, can't I change underwear then?"
"No. Don't do that, and we can make a huge step forward."
I thanked her, and was escorted away from her presence, almost skipping in my joy, like the innocent young nurse ahead of me.
She gave me a farewell kiss too!
Early Monday morning, I was uncomfortably keying in my pass code. Come straight in, the screen advised.
Where was Nurse Alice? I did inquire, but was told merely that she was tired today, and would be along soon.
"Have you the phial?" Dr Anson got straight to the point.
Somehow my leakage of cum had seemed inevitable once it had been predicted. I had wondered if it was her suggestions that had brought it on. But never mind, doctor had sanctioned it. I handed the phial, which had only been filled six hours ago.
"Read out your diary."
"Er, could you read it, doctor?"
"No, please do as I request. I may want to ask the odd question."
"Okay." I turned to my notes.
"I had one dream on Saturday night. Shall I start with that?"
"Read out what you have written, that's all please."
"I awoke about two, needing a pee. I had been dreaming of... of..."
"Come on, I do need to know."
"Sorry, I was dreaming of... of being dressed as a girl, and this man- look can't you read it to yourself?"
"I have told you already, I need to hear it from you."
"Oh very well. This man lay on me and I felt his penis filling my mouth. Then I awoke."
"This man, did he shoot his cum inside you?"
"No, I woke up. I- I think I remember wanting him to."
"I see. And who was this man?"
"Nobody I knew."
"Nobody, are you sure?"
"Well I might have known him. But I really can't remember who it might have been."
"I accept that. So tell me about the dress you are wearing."
"It was a pretty dress."
"I- I don't like to."
"Why? I need to know."
"I really can't."
"Look, I'm sorry, I need to know what that dress was like. Or we cannot make progress."
"Oh, well it was like- it was exactly like the dress that nurse wears."
"Don't be shy about it. It makes perfect sense. Now let's come back to the man. Did you feel he was someone you know or knew?"
"Yes, I think he was."
"Now, Don, tell me what you remember of your first experience of sex."
I began blushing again. I wanted help, but I was struggling with all these revelations, afraid that something currently unknown to me might surface.
"You can remember?"
"Oh yes. I was in the bath, and began masturbating without even thinking."
"Now tell me, what do you remember of what happened?"
"Well, I remember thinking this is lovely. I loved the sensation of seeing my Big Boy expand, and feeling it between my fingers."
"Good. What else?"
"I can remember enjoying ejaculating into the bath water."
"How did you feel then?"
"I experienced a surge of ecstasy- say, that doesn't happen now. Yes, I certainly did love that virgin ejaculation!"
"Good Don, good! So you enjoyed it?"
"Yes, I'd forgotten that my elder brother came into the bathroom next moment."
"Ah, and what happened then?"
I was silent. I was remembering what I had pushed from my mind.
"Come on, Don, I can see something has come back into your memory."
"But he warned me not to tell anybody."
"But that promise may be the main cause of your problems!"
"I am trying to remember. He came into the bathroom and I felt terribly guilty because he obviously saw what I had been doing."
"Did he rape you?"
"Oh no, I was flushed with the excitement of masturbating, and he said he could give me another thrill. I can remember, yes, he stripped off, and we were both feeling pretty horny when he told me I was a girl and he was gonna take me. He thrust his giant penis inside me..."
"In your mouth?"
"No, no, I don't like to say any more."
"You must, Don, you must."
"It pressed on my, my backside. The bath water was surging over us as he lay on me and forced himself in. I can recall him whispering, 'you'll always be a woman from now on, living for my pleasure.'
"Did he ejaculate inside you?"
"I- I don't remember. I really really don't.
"Okay, well done!"
Nurse Alice arrived. I was glad she had missed my confessions. I felt a burden removed.
"Thank you doctor. I feel better now."
"Good. But you talk as though we have finished. For today yes. But we need more sessions."
"But we know now what was hindering my orgasms."
"Yes, but I don't believe we have got to the bottom of it yet!"
"We must have!"
"No, we have a lot of work to do to bring you to a position where you will enjoy your sex, like that very first time."
"But I can't afford many more visits, doctor."
"I'll level with you, Don. I think we can help. I had this idea after your first visit. You stay as my receptionist. That way, I can keep an eye on your progress, and you need pay me no more, for you will be helping me out by working for me."
"Yes truly, you will be helping us, for I have told Nurse Alice she is doing too much. By acting as receptionist you can take some of the burden off her hands. If you can type up notes, that would be an extra blessing."
"Well, I can use the word processor, so yes, that sounds absolutely marvelous."
"We have a spare room, so you can live in if you wish."
"Oooh, yes please."
"Then fetch your belongings and come back here this evening. Our last patient will have left by six o'clock. We'll look forward to that!"
It was more than a bit scary entering that front door that Monday evening. My whole life was changing. I had handed in notice at my digs, burning my boats behind me. I was committed to working for Dr Anson, and living here also. But as well as feel a little scared, I was very excited too.
Alice greeted me and, as I clutched my possessions, she took me up the grand staircase to the expansive first floor.
"Dis is where de doctor sleeps," Alice explained, "and dere is our living room, "she pointed to the front room which looked out onto Harley Street. "De back woom is de Guest Woom for when de patients stay overnight."
I wondered who availed themselves of this service. Someone like me I suppose, after all I am still a patient.
"Is that my room?"
"Oh no, silly, dat costs lots of money. No, follow me."
We ascended a narrower staircase to the attic area.
On the right, Alice pointed out a shower room, we turned left and into the brightest pink room you ever did see.
"Dis is my woom," she told me proudly.
Though it wasn't to my taste, I tried to look enthusiastic. A small single bed was in one corner under the eaves, a king size cot dominated the center. Everything was in the brightest pink you could imagine.
"Your woom is thru here," explained Alice.
We had to go thru an interconnecting door from her room to get to mine, which was much more neutral in color. As in the other attic room, a large cot dominated.
"Thanks Alice, but where do I sleep?"
She indicated the cot.
"Why not? Me does!"
"Well, look, couldn't I have the bed in your room?"
"Ooo yeth, dat'd be nice."
She pulled my hand back into her little paradise. I didn't like to disillusion her, but I had to.
"No, I mean, I can push this bed into my room."
"Oh." Her face fell. "If dat's what you weally want."
She turned her back, like some childish prima donna, and descended the narrow staircase, stomping rather pointedly.
Having rearranged the furniture, I made my way downstairs, puzzling where I should go next.
"Ah, Don," it was Dr Anson emerging from her quarters, "Welcome to our home. "I expect Alice explained, we use this room for our living room."
She escorted me into the front lounge.
We sat down in the plush red armchairs. The whole room was red, evidently the doctor loved the color.
"We have our evening meal about seven," she explained, "Hildy our housekeeper and cook- you haven't met her have you?- she looks after us splendidly. When we go down, oh we eat in the kitchen, I'll introduce you to Hildy."
"The point is, I believe I know the cause of your problems, apart from your brother that is. Will you trust me?"
I did not reply for a while.
"Come down to the surgery with me now, and I think I can convince you."
We went down to the familiar room. Nurse Alice seemed to be expecting us, as she was ready waiting.
"Alice, will you go and tell Hildy we will be ready in half an hour, say sorry we'll be a bit late, you can butter her up, can't you? You're good at that. Oh before that, can you strip Don down?"
Nurse Alice obeyed, before skipping off to speak to Hildy, leaving me in my familiar underwear.
Dr Anson asked me to lie on the swish couch, and swung over a machine above my torso.
"Only an X-ray," she told me, "nothing to worry about."
The X-ray whirred, as Alice returned.
"Hildy says no prob."
"Good, can you develop the X-ray please Alice."
Alice skipped away once more.
Dr Anson rubbed her hands. "I am just gonna feel you," she smiled, "I am starting up at your chest."
I was mystified why she needed to do this, but her hand felt all over both nipples, which she pressed and caressed, all the while murmuring, sounds that gave me confidence that she was confirming her theory regarding my condition.
Then her hand moved down to my stomach, again she pressed gently and gradually moved down towards my Big Boy, all the while with circling motion of her hand. I grew erect as her warm hand contacted It.
"Naughty boy," she laughed, and disappointed me by quickly progressing to my testicles, concentrating on the underneath and the area between it and my anus.
"Here's de photo," cried the returning Nurse Alice. "Is it what you expected?"
Dr Anson scrutinized it carefully, at her side Alice tried to decipher it also, but clearly without success. Alice turned to me comfortingly,
"Don't wowwy Don, Dr Anthon will thort you out."
"Come and sit down, Don," said the doctor quietly. I'll always associate her soft voice with what followed.
"No, stay in your underwear for the present."
I sank into the red chair, Dr Anson seated at her desk, Nurse Alice in her usual position, looking slightly concerned.
"The mental blockage resulting from your brother's actions undoubtedly exacerbated your problem. However after analysis of your sperm, and study of your Xray, we can establish the underlying cause. You have PMDS."
"What on earth...?"
"It's not of critical concern, to give it its technical term, it is persistent Müllerian duct syndrome. In simple terms, it causes both external male genitalia and internal female reproductive organs to develop in a few men."
She paused as I tried to grasp what she was conveying.
"As I say, it is not life threatening. Normally it is a condition picked up much earlier in life, only rarely, as in your case, is someone in their forties diagnosed."
"You mean I have always been like this?"
"Yes, and it may explain your sexual problems. I believe your body is craving sexual fertilization, and all your life, you have been fighting that by trying to ejaculate yourself."
I remained stunned. Nurse Alice was surveying me up and down, as if attempting to see overt signs of my femininity.
"What should Don do?" Nurse Alice put the question I had been trying to frame.
"There are three options for you, Don.
Firstly to remain as you are and try and come to terms with PMDS. I can't recommend this however, since to remain fighting against the condition would be to remain unhappy and unfulfilled."
"No, I see that. So the other choices are... what?"
"There's the surgical option. I can arrange for you to have one set of organs removed."
"Would that be dangerous?"
"No, not at all. Though if you wanted to change your current official gender, we would need to create a passage to lead into your womb. At present, to put it far too simple terms, it is largely isolated from your body."
"I don't know if that'd be right."
"The other possibility is easier, that is a mix of the two avenues. To keep your body in its present state, but make a small hole in your womb, and insert a tube which will act as a vagina. This would be less intrusive than major surgery- but the choice is yours."
"May I think about it?"
"You must not rush your decision. Take your time."
"But I will make one suggestion, if I may."
"Please, my mind is in a whirl."
"It might be a good idea to see how you feel being a woman. Why not put on a dress, and see if you like it or not?"
"Er. Phew. You mean now?"
"No time like the present."
"Er, yes I think I'd like to try, if- if you can find me something to wear."
"Alice, you know all about the dresses we sometimes lend our patients. You take Don- no perhaps we'd better think of a new name?"
"Donna. I'll be Donna, even though it's my ex's name!"
"Okay. you get dressed, I'll go and tell Hildy you'll be right down."
"You look great," Alice assured me, as we reached the kitchen. "Swallow hard, and let's go in. She's not seen you before, and has no reason not to think of you as a woman."
As A Woman.
I liked the words, and I felt like one too.
Alice had chosen for me, I had been far too nervous to make any kinda decision. I'd loved the silky blouse she had found that fitted me. Exactly the same style as hers and doctor's.
One difference it was sheer black.
She had also fitted me in a sensuous velour dress that was in the same style as Dr Anson's, only in a very dark red, and instead of tassels, there was a semi circle of small red roses dipping from each shoulder over my non existent breasts.
While I shaved, Alice had plaited my hair. It wasn't long enough for much, but it made me look more girly, that's what mattered.
With my best smiling face I turned the door handle.
Hildy welcomed me, and we sat down as though this were just any other meal. Which I suppose it was.
It has been a sensational day. I told Alice as much, as we got ready for bed. I didn't have to wear my silk underwear, said Dr Anson, but I wanted to.
She had seen I had been feeling very aroused all evening, and she had told me for one more night she would like me to abstain from masturbating. My face had fallen, and blushed brightly, cos she had guessed my thoughts.
"You're a girl for the present," Dr Anson declared, "act like one."
That was harder to do than she could possibly have understood. I was on heat, as it were, as Alice and I settled down. She had offered that I sleep in her room, but I knew I could not trust myself with her. I reminded her of doctor's orders, and we kissed goodnight and she left me alone.
However, she said she'd leave the door between our rooms open, in case I needed something.
It was hard getting to sleep with so many thoughts flashing round my mind. Also I was fighting the strong desire to masturbate. But my loyalty to the doctor won thru, and at long last I did drift into a fitful rest.
What happened that night was like a dream, I was in such a dazed confusion that I have gotten Alice to write it down.
It was after two that sounds from Donna's room awoke me.
Dr Anson had alerted me to the extreme likelihood that Donna would have an erotic dream, and she wanted to observe.
So I called her and we both went into Donna's room. As we crouched over the bed, we could see the bedclothes disheveled, she lying on her back, all tensed up in her silken underwear, groaning like one having an orgasm.
"She needs fulfillment," doctor told me. "Pull down her panties, and lift her legs up over her head."
Bemused, I obeyed. The erect cock was attractively hot, it dangled over her face, once I had lifted the legs. I wished I could have it.
"Pull the legs over as far as you can. I doubt she's gonna awaken. Oh, I'd like the cock to fit into her mouth, but she's not quite supple enough for that. Look, let it dangle over her mouth... that's it! Can you prise open the mouth? Slowly, that's it. She's in like a static sleepwalk, she's really excited by her dream."
"I wonder what she is dreaming?"
"Some man is taking her, for sure. Tonight we will make her dream a reality, of sorts."
We watched as the fantasy reached a crescendo of groans.
However no ejaculation. It seemed Donna couldn't or didn't want to.
"Keep her mouth open," doctor told me, as her mouth began closing slowly as her erection collapsed.
Dr Anson grabbed the failing cock and began rubbing it intensely. I became quite horny myself as I saw her restore it to its glory. It was throbbing in delighted appreciation at the pulsing attention it was receiving.
"I think she is gonna imagine her satisfaction now," cried Dr Anson, as the cum spewed into her waiting mouth.
"I wanna take up that last option," I eagerly informed the doctor over breakfast.
"You don't need to rush your decision, you know," advised Dr Anson.
"Yes, but I am sure. I don't want to lose my male attribute, at least not yet, and I do recognize that my body wants to be more female. I'd like that op to create an opening in my vagina, please, with the possibility I could even become pregnant."
"Okay, if that's what you want. I'll get in touch with a colleague to fix it. You understand there are no guarantees, and I am certainly not in the business of finding you a partner."
"Of course. Thank you Dr Anson."
It was ten to nine. I was waiting in reception to greet our first patient. I had notes to type up, appointments to fix, most of all I was waiting a call from Sir Richard, an expert who was to perform my op.
First to come was the very first patient I had met on my first day, the girl with the hooped green and white top. She wore the same black pvc shirt too. She must have been about Alice's age. I thought she looked very attractive.
"Good morning Thian," was my welcome, I'd decided to imitate Alice's fetching voice, "Nurthe Alice will be with you in a few moments."
Sian look bemused. "You new here?"
"Me is de new receptionist. Me likes your outfit."
Nurse Alice skipped in and I was left to my typing.
Later as other patients came in, I typed up Sian's notes. I had been hoping to see her out, after her visit, and sure enough Nurse Alice bade her farewell at the surgery door, leaving me the opportunity to see Sian to the exit.
"Nithe to thee you," I smiled, and gave her a big kiss on the cheek."
"Thanks." And she had gone.
Sian's notes told me she was having problems with men. As I typed up the details of their latest discussion about her liking sissy boys, I began to get all hot. Her problems related to her not trusting men. I became hotter and hotter, and when reception was deserted, I dared to phone her.
"This is Donna at weception," I told her, "Dr Anson says you can twust me, and though you may not have guessed, I am a sissy boy!"
She replied she certainly hadn't realized that, and could I come round? I said I'd come in my lunch hour. God, she sounded desperate.
Dr Richard phoned saying he was most interested in my case. He had a cancellation, so could I see him today at one o'clock?
This was distinctly awkward. I was hoping to seduce Sian then!
But I promised I'd come, so I asked Dr Anson if I could take an early lunch, giving the reason as my appointment with the surgeon.
Thus at twelve, while the surgery was still operating, I had changed my plans with Sian, so she came to see me.
In no time we were up in my room. I fervently hoped Dr Anson's appointment before lunch would not finish early. Discovery might raise awkward questions.
I kissed her as we flopped to the edge of my large cot. I led her hand down to my Big Boy, which was genuinely a Big Boy today, for I wanted to prove to her I was a sissy boy underneath all my frills.
Her reaction took me by surprise.
"No!" she cried emphatically.
"You can trust me," I urged.
"No, no!" she repeated.
"But why not?" I gave her what I thought was a Come-On look, "you know you want it."
"You're too old," she spoke in a harsh voice. I was withered on the spot. "I hadn't realized you were so old. I'm sorry, I must go."
No wonder she has problems, I reflected as I followed her down the stairs.
It was very unfortunate that we encountered Dr Anson as we descended the main staircase. She summed up the situation immediately.
Sian rushed into doctor's arms, I was full of apologies.
Once Sian was straightened out, Dr Anson summoned me into her surgery.
I told her everything, amid apologies.
"I don't mind if you date a few of my clients," she said after reflecting on my misdemeanor, "but let me suggest you try Shaun another time. He is consulting me tomorrow. What you need is to look more juvenile, more sissy, Donna, more like Alice in fact. Get her to help you tonight.
"Yes doctor. Thank you Dr Anson.
"One more point, Donna. I think your greatest desire is sexual passiveness. Think about that. Now, shouldn't you be off to Dr Richard? He is four doors down the road."
"Zis is ein sehr interesting case," Dr Richard pronounced. It was hardly a clever observation. But he seemed to know his stuff.
"Yes, ve can make de incision for ein Valve in your uterus. Den I suggests ve have ein zin tube..."
"A what tube, doctor?"
"Zin," elucidated Dr Richard, "zin so it is not causing you de discomfort."
"Yes, and it will come up ze throat and I will attach it to ze back tooth."
"You say it will not cause discomfort."
"Nein, nein, I have done one zimilar operation before. De customer was very satisfied."
"I put ze cap in ze top of ze tube, so no extraneous matter can accidentally get into your womb. Ven you have ze intercourses, you unplug zis cap, understand?"
"Alsos, I give you ze little funnel so zat ven you remove ze cap, you place ze funnel in ze tube. Dis will den have de better chance to catch de sperms."
"Thank you Dr Richard."
"I can do it zis evening at sieben."
Last night had been a whirlwind, a hurricane. Hildy had made an early dinner, though I couldn't partake. Then Nurse Alice had accompanied me by taxi to the hospital where Dr Richard was to perform his op.
It was very quick all over in half an hour. I awoke from anesthetic hardly appreciating anything had taken place. I could feel the tube at the back of my mouth, but it was amazingly unobtrusive. Dr Richard expressed himself satisfied, and after I had come round, Alice was escorting me home.
During the taxi rides, Alice had offered me some tips about making myself younger looking.
Then when we were back home soon after nine o'clock, she had smeared my face with a cream, which I had to put on each night, to arrest my facial hair growth.
Dr Anson had prescribed tablets to help enlarge my breasts, but most pleasing to me was the way Alice showed me how to make an ordinary dress much more sissy looking.
I also let make my pigtails longer with some artificial hair, making my hair style much more girly.
As I waited for the first patient in reception next morning, I was incredibly confident, oozing sex appeal, as I believed.
Shaun was due at 11am, and Dr Anson, true to her word, was encouraging me to date him! Well, she had left his case notes for me.
As I perused the notes, I comprehended why Dr Anson had made the suggestion. He was very shy, even though the notes said he was good looking! I couldn't wait to meet him.
He had had a similar experience to myself and had found it impossible to have an orgasm. Somehow, he had been made to think he could only have sex with sissies, and to date, Dr Anson had been unable to get him away from this powerful conviction. Several attempted relationships with sissies had collapsed as he had been misunderstood. Maybe she was hoping I could do the trick.
When Shaun turned up, I nearly collapsed. I had met him before, though I'd forgotten about it. He was dashingly handsome, the Adonis I had been so puzzled by, not believing he could possibly require assistance from a sex therapist.
As he approached me at my reception desk, I was tingling with excitement.
"Morning Shaun, me is de new weceptionist. Take a place, Nurse will be with you in fifteen minutes."
He said not one word, evidently as shy as his notes suggested.
Though what I most craved was the passive role Dr Anson had urged, I knew I had to take the lead initially, in order to spark my attractive Adonis to where I wanted him.
"Is Dr Anson helpful for you?" I asked across the room.
He barely responded, a shrug was his only response.
"I like your shirt," I tried again. It was multicolored.
He nodded by way of thanks.
"Do you like my dwess? It's new today."
As I emerged from behind my counter, I posed in my resplendent pink sissy outfit, that Alice had fixed me up in.
He did look up, and he definitely smiled.
I had broken the ice. But there was no time for more, as Nurse Alice was calling Shaun in to the surgery.
I typed up notes as I pondered how I might win Shaun over. He wasn't an easy customer, and I must admit I could not see how I could make progress in the short time available once he came out of the surgery. Last time he had rushed out, though stopping for a kiss from Alice. Perhaps I should give him a hefty smacker on his lips...?
It turned out, this wasn't necessary. Kind Dr Anson had prepared the ground for me.
It was she who saw him out after his consultation. I understood why.
"Go on, Shaun," she encouraged.
He hesitatingly approached my desk. But said nothing.
"Shaun wants to ask you something, Donna," explained Dr Anson. He mouthed something though it was utterly incomprehensible.
"I'd love to," I responded, hoping I had guessed the nature of his muttering.
His face lit up.
"Okay Donna, you can take an early lunch," smiled Dr Anson, as she turned back into her surgery with her next patient, "oh, try and be back by two o'clock!"
I soon learned what he had asked me, for he took my hand gently, and started up the splendid staircase. He had to pull, as I was slow on the uptake, and meeting resistance stopped on the first stair.
"Sorry, Shaun, I wasn't thinking. Go right up to the top floor."
He climbed faster once he found I was keen to follow.
"Thru this room," I said, as we reached Alice's room.
We had reached my own bedroom.
My Adonis looked around.
I needed to take the lead still. I lay on my cot invitingly.
As soon as he saw that, he gave me a big smile. Such a lovely smile. From now on, I thought, I can just lie back and let him please himself... and me!
Whoops! I nearly forgot. I hastily discarded the plug by my back tooth.
He was standing there, taking in my pretty sissiness. I enjoyed his eyes feasting on me. I lay there, hoping and praying he'd take the lead. Was he the man who would deflower my feminine virginity and maybe even fertilize me with the power of his cum? I shivered with ecstasy in anticipation of the possibility.
He knelt by the cot. Was he gonna give it me?
He looked amazed at his good fortune. No more than me however!
Suddenly he made his move. I was so pleased.
I was fingering his shirt, as if to encourage him.
He whisked it off, then his pants. Soon he was naked!
He had nothing of which to be ashamed.
I nodded in appreciation, and that decided him. He was on me, and kissing me. Passionately as though making up for years of neglect. I was simply happy to receive his loving.
"My mouth," I pointed, sensing he would need to explode shortly.
If he looked disappointed for a second, he quickly overcame that and offered me his Giant Boy. Lusting, I encompassed the bulging object in my mouth.
There followed next my paradise, and his! Cum shot around my mouth, I made sure as much as possible burst down my tube.
I sighed deeply as he withdrew, cum dribbling over my face.
"Thanks," he said, and he was gone.
So rapid had we been, that I was down to lunch at one o'clock. I was looking flushed, indeed Hildy queried if I needed to go to bed.
I didn't dare tell her that I had only just left the pleasures of my cot!
But Alice probably had a notion of what had gone on, and Dr Anson certainly did. She made one polite inquiry about how I was.
"Lovely," I beamed, "and your patient was pleased too."
Alice looked at us both, and I'm sure she understood.
After lunch, I was able to devote myself to my work, I owed the doctor a lot, and wanted to repay her by working my very best. But in my mind, was burning one main question, Did It Work?
By the end of the week, I was hoping my body might at the very least be offering some confirmation.
Dr Anson told me that I could try a pregnancy test next week, but my case was unusual in that I do not have normal periods.
I waited impatiently for the time when I could be tested. But in my heart I already knew the result, my body was telling me.
Alice was hugely sympathetic when the test result came thru. Dr Anson was more practical. She reckoned that because my tube was so thin and long, from my mouth down to my womb, possibly an overload of sperm was necessary to push its way down so far.
"Perhaps if I sit up?" I questioned.
"That'd increase your chances. But I think I can give you a more sure fire solution!"
"Ooo, what's that?"
"Leave it with me, darling."
I suddenly realized I didn't know her first name.
A week later, and it was clear I was not pregnant. I was anxious to learn what Dr Anson could offer. I had contacted my Adonis in the hope he would oblige, but he was, as Dr Anson confessed, cured, and no longer had need of a humble little sissy like me. Apparently, the girls were falling at his feet in the sissiest possible fashion.
"Go into the Guest Room," said the doctor, after dinner one evening. We'll see if my theory works. Remember to sit up and squeeze every drop of sperm you can down your tube.
Greatly expecting, I left the kitchen with Alice. As I excitedly went up the ornate staircase, Alice was opening the front door.
She welcomed several men into the waiting area.
By this time I had settled in to the plush guest bed, which was covered with a waterproof sheet.
As I tried to guess what this plan might be, I could hear a fair amount of noise outside.
In walked Dr Anson with a satisfied look.
"I know I told you it was not up to me to arrange your dates, but I call you a special case, Donna."
"Thank you, Dr Anson."
"Oh please call me Cherie when we're away from the surgery."
"Oh yes Cherie. What do I have to do?"
"You know, be passive and enjoy! You're sitting up, good. We're ready! Alice bring them in."
I guessed what was to come. But not the full impact, for in were ushered half a dozen men in various states of undress, all masturbating.
The first hulky specimen surged forward and I was too slow and his cum splattered over my face and down on my pretty dress.
I was gonna say sorry, but already the second offered his cock, and I was ready this time to open my mouth an enjoy the full force of his sweet cum surging inside me. I tilted my head to enable it to plop into the funnel and down the tube.
A third and fourth offering came simultaneously, and I half swallowed both, only managing to get some of it right down into my waiting tube.
The fifth load showered over my face, With an appreciative lick I got some into my mouth, what the heck I thought, I leave the rest sticking on my face, making me feel the slut I undoubtedly was. But a highly grateful slut, as I thanked Cherie after a sixth dollop had landed fairly on to my funnel, and down inside the tubing. I was getting expert at this now!
Yet it wasn't over. Another six men excitedly entered.
"I wanted to make sure," admitted Cherie, "How d' you feel?"
"Loving it," I smiled thru my cummy face.
Another load swished in as Cherie told me how she had advertised for men to come tonight. Alice had been turning them away for the past ten minutes.
"How many are still wanting me to have their cum?" I asked, not entirely sure I wanted to hear the answer.
"We told the first hundred to stay," cried Cherie, they are queuing all the way down the stairs and waiting room.
"Bring 'em on," I smiled.
After about sixty, my stamina was giving out, and I thought I felt my womb being fertilized. It made me extra excited and revived my appetite for yet more cum. Or was it all my imagining?
By the end of the ordeal, as I nearly called it, anyway by the end, I was swallowing cum with abandon, savoring it, certain I was already pregnant. I loved my slutty appearance, and I greeted each new masturbator in a different way. Some I took in my mouth, some I squeezed, others I allowed to dribble over my hair, some loads I took in my cupped hands and swallowed whole with a delicious slurp.
I looked what I was. Most of all I was happy, and sticky, and pregnant.
A few days later everyone remarked how radiant I looked.
All the patients loved my sunny disposition, Dr Anson was thoroughly pleased she had resolved my problems, as for Nurse Alice, she was happy enough, as she always was, but I sensed a touch of jealousy, even though she hid it very well.
A week on, during morning surgery, as I was welcoming Sian, one of the few patients I didn't take to, for obvious reasons, I suddenly collapsed on the floor.
Sian laughed, I don't know why, but my groans brought Dr Anson rushing out of the surgery.
To cut a long story short, I had lost my baby. Dr Richard had seen me within the hour, and seemed to suggest that the "surfeits of sperms" had not helped. The tube had slowly disgorged its contents during the twenty four hours after our orgy, and he reckoned this had started the difficulty.
Dr Anson was immensely apologetic for attempting this method of fertilization, but I told her I was grateful for her trying.
Dr Richard cleared out my tube since congealed cum was blocking it, and did whatever was needed in my womb, then sent us home with a few kindly suggestions. The first was what we had already decided, that sitting upright was the best way, second for me to make sure as much sperms were trapped in the funnel to go down the tube, and finally that a donor should be "extra fulls of sperms," as he put it. "Why not get Don to make Donna pregnant!" was his parting quip.
Actually, that chance comment grew in my mind until it was the course that I believed the perfect one.
Dr Anson concurred, though Nurse Alice was more dubious. But they agreed to help me after a fortnight, during which time I had gallantly refrained from masturbation, and fought hard to resist a couple of wildly erotic night dreams.
So that evening, against her better judgement, Nurse Alice dressed me in my same sissy outfit that I had worn for Big Cum Night, as we called that last adventure. She thought it would bring bad luck, but I hoped the smell and feel of dried cum which still clung lovingly to my blouse and dress would stimulate me. Do you know, I believe it did.
I was sitting in the same bed as on Big Cum Night. Cherie kissed me, as Nurse Alice took down my panties, revealing a Big Boy that needed stimulation. You see, when it came to it, I was completely unable to gain an erection, this was even worse than my past orgasmless sex!
I felt a kind of panic, which turned to an intensity of desire when Nurse Alice solved our problem. As Cherie stroked my forehead by way of consolation, Alice whipped off her dress and silk blouse to reveal her pale attractive bosoms. As she fondled one, I began to pant, longing to touch, to caress them myself.
Leaving her breasts dangling, she leaned over me, lifting my legs up over my head. Through my legs, I was able to lust after her rich bosoms,as she pushed my feet as far as they could go.
Of course we already knew that I could only just touch my lips with my penis, but Cherie was ready to push my head forward, so that I must have resembled a very hot pulsing rubber ball. As drips trickled from the tip, my Big Boy satisfyingly made friends with my open mouth, which delighted in the newcomer, sucking it.
Then contact. With a supreme effort, as my cock expanded in readiness to spurt out my load of boiling cum, it touched the edge of the funnel.
Mmm, I was in heaven, those days of non fulfillment were gone.
Or were they?
I started to wriggle desperately, as Cherie and Alice encouraged me to cum. The problem was I could not get the tip to fit into the funnel. I was at the wrong angle. My Big Boy was too big to fit!
I called out to my friends, and Alice released my legs in surprise.
My penis was dripping with anticipation, as I explained the problem.
"Well, how about putting your penis back in your mouth and getting your tongue to push the sperm into the funnel?" suggested Dr Cherie.
"Okay, I'll try that. Ow, hurry pushing my legs Alice, I'm busting!"
The half naked Alice lifted my legs once more, and the dripping penis hovered invitingly over my mouth.
"No stop!" I cried. Alice released my legs with a What's Wrong Now look of despair.
"I'm gonna squirt so powerfully that most of it will go straight down my throat," I moaned.
Alice looked flushed. Cherie said decisively, "there's only one way, Donna. I know what to do."
She whispered a few words to Alice, who was beaming.
"I'll be back, I'll leave you with Alice."
With that cryptic remark, she had gone.
Panting with pent up desire, I stared utterly confounded at Alice. She was now removing her orange panties.
"Me wanna baba too," and she fell on top of me, pushing me back so I was prostrate. "Pwease twust Cherie, and pwease gimme your cum!"
I failed to comprehend her words, except her actions made the first part utterly obvious. I was too advanced in my arousal to deny her. Not that I wanted to. I had fantasized in many dreams I was her. Now as I lay back, with her body pressing on mine, my dreams were fulfilled.
I cried with pleasure, and so did she, as she pushed herself deep into my Big Boy. It was bliss, even though it was over in seconds. I was powerfully bursting inside her, she passionately gripping me in her deepest appreciation.
"Tanks," she smiled in her sweetest way. "Now it's your turn!"
As she lay aside me wriggling with satisfaction, I lay next to her, pleased but unfulfilled.
Then Dr Cherie Anson came back. Or actually this was not Cherie.
"I'm really Charles," she shocked me with her words. She always looked so feminine!
"I have always had my own sex issues," she went on, dropping her beautiful velour dress. She stood there in her pink blouse gazing down at us. I could see her "issue."
A Big Boy that was far from Big. Even if it had been erect, I doubt if it could be more than a few inches. And so thin!
Dr Anson pointed to it. "It's exactly what you want isn't it Donna?" I suddenly saw the light and grinned.
Alice made way, and combed her hair as the good doctor fell on top of me, much as Alice had done minutes before.
I fondled the tiniest of things that she was offering me. But it felt good to me, So good that I stroked it and made it grow, to doctor's evident pleasure. Soon she was purring, as it entered the glory of my mouth, and squeezed into the waiting funnel, all ready to receive the warm cum that oozed down the tube. She kept on squirting it, "I've been saving myself," she whispered.
I uttered a squeak of delight as the firstfruits trickled into my grateful womb.
"Me is pwegnant too," I smiled at my two friends.