Vicissitude (R)

sleepytink

Trying to make her way in a world wrapped up in its own affairs a young woman struggles to reconcile her past with her future.

Posted on June 19th, 2011 ~ 4:20 am

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This story, in its entirety, is a work of fiction. It can be shared via any media type so long as it is provided unaltered (in regards to content) and free of charge. My intention in writing this story is to write a single novel, Vicissitude, broken into three separate novellas. Each novella is a unique story arc within the whole. The story as a whole revolves around a central, cohesive theme, tying the three novellas together. It is my hope that once completed; readers will find that each novella is in itself a compelling read, while adding to the overall growth of the characters throughout the story. This first post includes the first novella, Coming to Terms, in its entirety. I am actively writing Part Two (not going to give away the title just yet) but it is a lengthy process. Including the editing process and re-writes, it took me several weeks to complete Part One. I hope to post the next installment by mid-July but who knows with writing. I typically have numerous projects active and dislike to rush things. I truly hope you enjoy this work of fiction, and please, leave comments so I know what you think. And of course, thank you for reading. Part One: Coming to Terms Chapter One Tammy chewed on her lower lip pensively, her eyes glued to the television set affixed to the far office wall. A reporter in a blue weather slicker stood along the banks of Lake Sherman as he delivered his dire report. “…with river and lake levels continuing to rise authorities fear current drainage efforts will be insufficient to stay ahead of the crisis.” “Just terrible,” Mrs. Jefferson said as she leaned against the receptionist counter. She turned her head to face Tammy and continued, “I heard on the radio this morning that some county officials believe the levees near Water’s Edge won’t be able to hold up if the lake keeps on like it is. Too much water coming in from upstream you know…” She paused to turn and listen to the television for a moment. “Mayor Patterson’s office has released a statement to address public concerns, stating that all possible measures are being taken to ensure the public’s safety.” Mrs. Jefferson gave a snort of derision before continuing as if she had never stopped speaking. “And just not enough water can be sent downstream.” Tammy of course knew this; she had grownup in Silver Falls. She might not be a civil engineer or anything like that, but she understood basic physics principles. If more water flowed into Lake Sherman than could be released over the spillway or through the canal, then the water levels would inevitable rise. And when you take a record shattering rainy season and combine it with melting snows in the mountains that feed the rivers and tributaries upstream, well the result was simply a continuous torrent of water flowing into the lake. “Yeah,” Tammy distractedly replied. “I live in Water’s Edge…well a few blocks south, just before Porter Ave.” “Oh dear.” Tammy nodded. Water’s Edge, an upper-middle class neighborhood built along the eastern shore of Lake Sherman, had been the topic of conversation on the evening news and radio for several weeks now. Supposed experts had been claiming for sometime that the neighborhood would flood, that the levees would not hold and that officials were not treating the matter as seriously as the situation warranted. Her own apartment, as she had pointed out to Mrs. Jefferson, was just a few blocks south of Water’s Edge. She wasn’t’ sure, but something told her that if the levees did in fact break her own neighborhood would be flooded as well. The ringing door chimes broke her out of her contemplations. Looking up she smiled at the gentleman who had entered. His attire, fine gray slacks and a vest over a white dress shirt and silver tie, was pressed smooth and gave an elegant first impression. As he turned towards the reception counter Tammy frowned a bit. His handsome face was marred by a grimace. Placing the pet carrier in his right hand on the counter he looked up at Tammy. Tammy felt her heart nearly skip a beat. His eyes wear gorgeous, a deep brown like tiny swirls of chocolate. “How can I help you sir?” She felt a smile automatically cross her face as she spoke, it only partially the result of professional decorum. “It’s my wife’s dog; he was vomiting blood earlier today.” Her smile slipped just a bit as her eyes glanced over his left hand. Sure enough, a golden wedding band encircled his ring finger. Looking back up at him Tammy replied, “Well I am sure we can get to the bottom of this.” With a silent sigh she reaffixed her smile, hoping it was reassuring. “Well, I must get going. Please let Dr. Keller know I will swing back by tomorrow for Miss Prissy.” Tammy looked up at the departing Mrs. Jefferson, the woman’s heels clinking on the tile with each step. “Have a great day; we’ll take great care of Miss Prissy.” Mrs. Jefferson glanced back and gave a small smile. “I know dear.” With that she slipped out the front door. “Ok now, let me see. What is the animal’s name?” Tammy turned her attention to her PC. “Scotty…he’s a Scottish Terrier.” The gentleman gave her what she could only assume was an embarrassed smile for the prosaic name. “And no, this is my…his first visit here.” “Not a problem.” She grabbed a clipboard and a small stack of forms. “If you will please sign this Authorization of Treatment form I can take Scotty back to see Dr. Keller.” Once completed Tammy took the form and quickly scanned it over. “Ok…Mr. Rison, if you can finish filling out the rest of these forms…and here if you have VPI or PetBest Pet Insurance please include your insurance information.” Mr. Rison, John, looked up from the stack of paperwork. “Pet insurance? You’re serious?” “Oh yes sir, many of our clients carry insurance to protect their pets. Now,” Tammy continued, picking up the pet carrier and looking inside. Scotty gave a pathetic whimper. “Let’s see if we can do something to get you feeling better.” With a departing smile for Mr. Rison Tammy carried the pet carrier into one of the back examination offices. **** With a click the front door locked tightly shut. Tammy let out an exhausted sigh. After Mrs. Jefferson and Mr. Rison this morning, a frantic Sue Miller had brought in her German Sheppard Rusty claiming the animal was suffering from severe panic attacks. And if that was not enough for a single day, a local elementary school teacher had brought in her classroom’s pet hamster, a hamster that some bratty fourth grader had fed red crayons too. Oh yes, and who can forget the python that swallowed a gerbil and was slowly choking to death. The sweet scent of perfume and the soft padding of tennis shoes singled Dr. Keller walked into the waiting room. Her blonde hair had been neatly pulled back at the beginning of the day, but now several strands and curls hung loose about her face. With a discrete eye Tammy watched the woman cross the room. Grabbing the can of fish food she sprinkled a dash of flakes into a tank full of fish eagerly waiting their evening feeding. ‘It’s not fair,’ Tammy thought, only slightly bitter. The woman seemed to have it all. She was highly sought out for her natural talents and abilities with treating animals, her marriage seemed to be a thing out of a romance novel and, well, she was simply stunning. Even wearing a wrinkled white lab coat with shed fur here and there, her hourglass figure was hard to miss. A perfect little face, round, firm breasts, killer hips and a great ass attached to what Tammy could only imagine were sexy legs. Herself, well, Tammy knew she was cute; but she would never be considered sexy. In contrast to Dr. Keller who stood 5’9”, Tammy was 4’8”. And rather than full, round breast, Tammy was…well, not as generously endowed. Without help from padded bras, her natural breasts gave only the slightest curve to her chest. And her ass…well her ass was not much better. To own disgust her panties typically hung a bit loose in the bottom. In general she had always been smaller than girls her own age. For the thousandth time today Tammy sighed. What could she do? It was beyond her control. Born prematurely, there simply were some things in life that she had no choice but to deal with, preferably with as much dignity as possible. “So I hear that the Army Corps of Engineers has completed their inspections of the levees surrounding Lake Sherman.” “Oh…I was so busy this evening I did not have a chance to keep up with the news. What did they say?” Dr. Keller replaced the lid to the can of fish food, and setting it down, turned to face Tammy. “Not good I’m afraid.” Her troubled frown made Tammy pause. “Really, that bad?” “Well, they have issued a mandatory evacuation for Water’s Edge and recommended the surrounding areas evacuate as well.” Her sharp hazel eyes watched Tammy closely. After a moment of thought Tammy replied, “I see.” “Please, come and stay with me. My husband and I have talked it over and we are worried about you. If Water’s Edge floods your neighborhood is bound to flood as well and…” “Thank you,” Tammy quickly interrupted, “that is too kind. But if it comes to that my mom said I could say with her.” She was lying of course, her parents lived half way across the country not to mention she would rather go homeless before crawling back there, but the idea of sleeping at her boss’s house was horrifying. Dr. Keller frowned. “Well ok, but if you need anything please let me know.” Tammy began to turn to head towards the back before hesitating. “Dr. Keller, what about the clinic? If the levees fail are they expecting the water levels to reach this far?” “Well we are still a bit above the current water levels I think, and if the levees do break there will be more area to accommodate the rising waters so it is hard to say. All I have heard so far is that only the neighborhoods around the lake are in immediate danger. But I’m glad you brought that up. If it does come down to that we will be moving any animals still here at the clinic to the Northern Plains Animal Clinic. Animal Control has announced they will be helping if needed to move animals outside the flood zones.” Tammy nodded. Dr. Keller walked over to the light panel and flicked off the external lights and signs. “And don’t worry. If we are flooded out the insurance plan we participate in includes an employee protection clause. You will still get paid, well, at least for eight weeks. After that either we will be open again or have some kind of aid.” Again Tammy nodded. “Ok,” was all she could manage. “Well I’m gonna head home.” “Ok, have a good evening.” “You too, Dr. Keller.” With that Tammy retreated to the rear employee entrance and her waiting car. The drive home was rather uneventful after the day she’d had. The radio predicted doom and gloom, serving only to depress her so she turned it off. After a fifteen minute drive, Tammy found herself pulling into her apartment complex. Parking, she walked up the path to her front door. With her door locked behind her Tammy kicked off her high-heels, instantly shrinking several inches. Without paying much attention she flipped on the TV for background noise as she opened a can of soup. Three minutes later found her falling into her couch, a cup of soup cradled in her hands and a glass of ice water sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She wrinkled her nose in distaste as an episode of CSI: Miami came on. Not a bad show, all in all, but she was not quite in the mood for murder investigations. After a few minutes of surfing she settled on an old episode of Scrubs. ‘Much better,’ she thought, allowing her mind to be drawn into the program. This became easier as she slowly ate she soup, the warm broth seeming to push aside the troubles she had been feeling. As the episode wrapped up, Tammy set the now empty cup of soup on her coffee table. As another episode of Scrubs came on she found her eyelids becoming heavier and heavier. **** Somewhere in a distant corner of her mind she heard someone yell, “Eagle!” Through a fog of sleep she pondered that. ‘Yes, Scrubs, that’s what I was watching.’ Her mind slipped further from the fog, drifting ever closer to consciousness. As if icy water had been thrown across her face, her eyes snapped open. “Shit!” Her hand shot down to her crotch. Her slacks were slightly wet, but not too bad. In an instant she was on her feet and rushing through her apartment. She could feel the pressure in her bladder quickly building. Her hand gripped the handle to the bathroom door when she felt the dampness in her panties become wetness that spread from her crotch to her bottom. She could not stop it. She swung open the bathroom door and raced to the toilet. It was no longer a question of wetting her pants, that was good and settled at this point, but she did not want to pee all over her floor. Sitting down she looked away as her bladder, unbidden, emptied itself. The wetness in her panties continued to spread, soaking through until her slacks became a dripping mess. Tears slowly trickled down her cheeks even after the flow of urine stopped. Sitting there, Tammy quietly cried, unable to muster the resolve to stand up just yet. After some time, she finally stood. Shaking, she unbuttoned her slacks and let them fall to her feet. Her eyes a bit red from crying she glanced over at the mirror. ‘Pathetic,’ she thought, seeing her reflection. The bottom of her blouse hung just past the waistband of her panties. A soft blue, her panties were wet up half her bottom. Having been loose before she wet them, they now looked several sizes too big for her, the material hanging heavily near her crotch. The logical side of her mind told her it wasn’t her fault; it told her that she was suffering from an underdeveloped bladder and muscular control. She had simply been tired and allowed herself to fall asleep on her couch without emptying her bladder first. But despite all of that, she still felt like a child. She had wet her panties, only a short distance from her bathroom. With a sigh of disgust she slipped off the wet garment. Then, with two fingers she picked up her slacks and panties and dropped them into the sink. Opening a cabinet, she pulled out a box of baby wipes and proceeded to clean herself off. The process was aided by her smooth groin. Tammy had long ago learned that hair made accidents like this much worse, leading to embarrassing and uncomfortable rashes and odors. Tossing the wipe into her trash bin, she headed into her room. After a moment of digging through her dresser she pulled out a white pair of cotton panties. As her bottom landed on the edge of her bed Tammy could just make out the slight crinkle of her plastic sheets beneath her softer linen ones. This of course was the reason she had refused Dr. Keller’s kind offer, why she had lied. She did not like lying, but she did not want to even contemplate how she would explain a wet bed to Dr. Keller. Not that she always wet her bed, not really. If she was careful, emptied her bladder before going to sleep, she could go more than half the days of the week without wetting. ‘And bedwetting isn’t really the right term anyways,’ she told herself. True, that was often a side effect, but it wasn’t like she slept through wetting the bed. She always woke up. Only she had very limited muscle control. Her daytime accidents were not nearly as bad as her nighttime ones, though they were perhaps as frequent. In the day she usually had time to make it to the bathroom, typically only dampening her panties. But at night, she would sometimes wake up on the cusp of wetting, just enough time to sit up before it happened. Grabbing a shirt Tammy unfastened her bra and tossed it into the hamper. Slipping the t-shirt on Tammy climbed into bed. Chapter Two Tammy sat up, eyes wide and heart racing. Instinctively she felt her crotch, but she was mercifully dry and did not feel the urge to pee. ‘Something,’ she thought. ‘Something odd…loud…out of place.’ Then it came again, a loud pounding on her front door. A shout followed but she could not quite make it out. Swinging her legs out of bed, Tammy dashed to her closet and grabbed the closest thing she had to a weapon, an old tennis racket. As she entered the living room, the pounding came again followed by the shouting. This time she could clearly hear the speaker. “Brown County Sheriff’s Department, please open your door, it is an emergency. We will be forced to break open your door if you do not comply.” Not even pausing to think it could perhaps be a rouse, Tammy dropped the racket and rushed across the living room. Turning the deadbolt, she swung the door open. A rather large pillar of a man stood on her porch, his right hand resting casually on his sidearm. What Tammy guessed was his partner, a mannish looking female officer, was standing a bit back on the path speaking on the radio. “Sorry to disturb you ma’am but this neighborhood is subject to a mandatory evacuation order. Vehicles from the National Guard are standing by in the north parking lot to transport you and anyone else in your home to a shelter. Please do not bring more than one bag per person and head to the north parking lot.” He gestured the direction as he spoke. “Did the levee break,” Tammy asked, the severity of the situation serving as well as the stoutest cup of coffee to wash the sleep from her mind. “Not yet ma’am, but inspectors believe that the levees will break sometime this morning. The current water levels are sufficient enough to reach this area.” Tammy nodded, her mind digesting the news. “Please move quickly ma’am. We would like to have this complex evacuated within a half hour.” “Of course, thank you.” The officer nodded, then rejoined his partner and moved down the path. Across the lawn Tammy could she a dozen or more officers moving among the other buildings, no doubt delivering similar messages to residents. ‘Son of a bitch,’ Tammy thought as she shut her door. As she walked into her bathroom to take a quick shower she glanced at the mirror. She cheeks instantly began to burn hot as she realized she had answered the door in just her t-shirt and panties, panties which were clearly visible beneath the shirt. ‘Idiot!’ The thought came unbidden. Pushing aside her embarrassment Tammy quickly undressed and stepped into the shower. **** Stuffing her work clothes into her bag, Tammy zipped up the gym bag. She didn’t have a proper suitcase, so the gym bag would simply have to do. Walking into the living room she set her bag down then headed back into the bathroom. Not sure how long it would be before she reached this shelter, wherever it was, Tammy pulled her shorts and panties down, taking a seat on the toilet. It only took a bit of effort to begin emptying her bladder. Finishing she pulled her clothing back on and turned towards her sink. Her wet panties were still there, causing her to pause a moment. She didn’t think it likely she’d have a daytime accident, but still. Opening her cabinet she grabbed a package of maxi pads, pulling out a pink wrapped package. Ripping the package open, Tammy pulled her clothing back down and taped the pad inside of her panties. With a grimace she pulled her clothing back up. Hurriedly she returned to the living room and grabbed her bag. As she walked out the front door Tammy grabbed her keys. After locking her apartment Tammy made her way to the north parking lot. She was parked there anyways so she figured she just jump into her car and head into work early. It wasn’t even 4 A.M. yet but the alternative of sitting at a shelter all day seemed much less appealing. Turning onto the main path Tammy soon joined others from her complex, all making there way to the north parking lot. As she arrived, however, her heart sank a bit. Half a dozen busses waited, lined up from end to end across the parking lot. As she got closer she could see her car was blocked in by the third bus, but given the scene that didn’t seem to matter. Straight ahead she could see a man arguing with National Guard troops about leaving in his car. One of the soldiers told the unhappy gentleman that the streets were dangerous, and allowing civilian vehicles on the roads would endanger lives. When a State Trooper and a police officer moved to intercede the man finally relented and moved towards the waiting buses. ‘Great, just fucking great,’ she thought stuffing her keys into a side pouch of her bag. Without verbal complaint Tammy boarded the bus. After a few minutes of residents loading onto the bus the doors finally shut and the bus lurched forward. Tammy laid her head against the window and watched helplessly as the bus slowly pulled out of her neighborhood. As they passed stop signs and street lights she could see other buses; charter buses, school buses and even city buses assisting in the evacuation. Before long the bus finally turned into a parking lot. Near the street a temporary sign proclaimed the location ‘Emergency Shelter #08’. As the bus turned to park Tammy could see the outlines of an old K-Mart sign, long since removed, on the front of the building. The next few hours seemed a blur. She waited in line with other “refugees” as volunteer workers moved up and down the lines ensuring everyone was well. Occasionally a worker would take a family with children or the elderly and move them ahead of the rest. At first Tammy thought that a kind thing to do, though as time slowly passed she found herself becoming annoyed with the practice. Even as the line slowly made its way inside and beyond her line of vision Tammy had a fair idea of what to expect. She had volunteered with the homeless shelter before, and even help provide aid during disasters with Feed the Children. She understood why officials had insisted that residents leave their vehicles behind. If the levees failed while the streets were flooded with vehicles attempting the leave the area the loss of life would be high. She understood, but she still found herself grinding her teeth from time to time. By the time she finally passed through the entry doors the sun was rising above the horizon. Irritated she tapped her feet and with a slight panic felt the urge to pee hit her. Turning to a middle-aged man standing behind her she asked him to hold her place for a few minutes. His lips twitched ever so slightly as he made a failed effort to smile then simply nodded. Turning she hurried made her way towards the front of the line. By the time she entered the facility the urge was becoming overwhelming. Quickly she asked a worker for directions, and then swiftly made her way towards the women’s restroom. Before she even entered the restroom she felt a bit of urine escape her bladder. Thankfully the pad absorbed it. Almost frantically Tammy pushed open the stall, jerked her clothing down and sat to relieve herself. With a sigh of relief she pulled up her clothing. When the wet pad pressed against her skin Tammy have a disgusted sigh. Standing, she readjusted her clothes until she finally found something, though uncomfortable, was at least bearable. As Tammy made her way back towards her place in line a hand gently touched her shoulder and a woman’s voiced asked, “Tammy? Tammy Turlington?” Surprised, Tammy turned to face a woman who had to be in her mid to late thirties. Her face seemed familiar but she just couldn’t place it. “Yes?” The woman clearly caught the uncertain tone in Tammy’s voice. With a smile she replied, “I thought that was you. You were a part of the relief effort last year in Southern California during the wild fires. I’m Amy, Amy Watson.” Hearing the name brought the memory of the woman flooding back to the surface of her mind. Yes she did remember her. She had been her supervisor during that relief effort. A capable and caring woman as she recalled. “Yes, sorry, it has been a stressful morning.” Amy’s smile faded a bit. “You’re not here as a volunteer?” “No, unfortunately, this time I am on the other side of the fence.” “Oh, I’m so sorry Tammy.” She hesitated for a moment, glancing about before continuing after lowering her voice. “Are you staying here at the shelter?” Tammy glanced to her side. Beyond a sea of volunteers and flood victims Tammy could see rows upon rows of cots. With a slight grimace she nodded. “What about your family? Your parents?” “My parents live in South Carolina and the rest of my family in Florida.” Amy paused as if thinking for a moment before continuing. “Come stay with me. I live about forty-five minutes from here and I have plenty of room.” Despite herself Tammy swallowed. She could feel the wet pad between her legs. “Amy, I couldn’t. I…” “Of course you can,” Amy interrupted. She again lowered her voice, speaking so as not to be overheard. “While this shelter is a great help and much better than sleeping outside, it is a far cry from a soft bed and a quite room to yourself.” Instantly another objection sprang to Tammy’s tongue. She could work her way out of this if she tried; she had years of practice at avoiding sleeping in other people’s homes. But the sight of the cots, the bright fluorescent lights and noisy crowd, the miserable scene of exhausted people trying to sleep despite the commotion killed her objections before she had a chance to voice them. Without quite realizing what she has saying she heard herself reply, “Well, if you’re sure Amy.” “Of course I am sure. If you will give me thirty minutes I will be ready to head out. **** The ride to Amy’s house was surprisingly enjoyable. Amy had always seemed to be a warm, caring person, a fact that compelled her to spend so much of her time volunteering. In California Tammy had only casually gotten to know the woman. At the time the two of them along with thirty of so other volunteers from the Brown County area had worked sixteen hour days, leaving little time for socializing. But even then the woman had seemed like a charming lady. At thirty-eight, Amy was nearly twenty years older than the twenty year old Tammy. Her hair was brown with a bit of grey. She wasn’t overly tall, though no surprise she was quite a bit taller than Tammy. When she was younger she had probably been quite attractive, though age had faded that beauty now. Her eyes, however, were captivating and inviting; a deep blue reminiscent of the ocean lapping at a sandy shore. Before Tammy realized it the car pulled into the driveway of a quant house on the outskirts of town. Amy continued to chat away as they walked up the path towards the front door. Tammy, however, found her heart leaping into her throat. “Well, is there anything I can get you,” Amy asked as she walked into the living room. Taking her coat off Amy hung it in a closet before turning her attention back to Tammy. “No, you have done more than enough,” Tammy replied hastily. “Nonsense, I am glad to do it. Not many teenagers spend their time helping others and I think it says a lot about your character.” She smiled and gestured towards the kitchen. “Help yourself to anything you like.” She then nodded towards the television. “And of course watch whatever you like. Just make yourself at home.” Tammy gave a warm smile, hoping her nervousness didn’t show on her face, or at least, was mistaken for weariness. The rouse apparently worked because Amy soon continued, “Your room is right back here.” She turned and headed down the hallway, obviously intending for Tammy to follow. “I live alone and keep this room for when my two nieces visit. Tomorrow I can dig out some nicer sheets and blanket.” “Oh you don’t have to do that, I’m sure it will be fine.” Amy pushed open the door and flipped on the light. As Tammy stepped inside she stopped, her heart falling from her throat into her stomach. One side of the room was dominated by a bed with some kind of cartoon characters that Tammy didn’t recognize. Next to the bed stood a dresser and clothes hamper. On the opposite side of the room was a crib and changing table. ‘At least the walls are a plain white,’ she thought, though kept the comment to herself. “Thank you very much for doing this. I feel like I’m about to fall over where I stand.” At that Amy smiled. “I know the feeling. I worked all night at the shelter and my feet are starting to throb. There is a bathroom across the hall. If there is nothing else you need sweetie I’m going to head to bed.” “No, I’m good, thank you.” With a smile and a nod Amy left Tammy alone in the room. After shutting the door, Tammy assessed her situation. Her bladder felt empty but she still felt uneasy about the entire situation. If she had stayed in the shelter she would have faced the same problem, only in a more uncomfortable environment. But here, if she had an accident she might ruin Amy’s mattress. Unless…Trembling, she ran her fingers across the mattress. She sighed, no plastic mattress cover. It was worth a shot. The room was obviously intended for younger children. Taking a deep breath Tammy told herself, ‘I can do this. I don’t have to use the bathroom. It will be fine.’ Opening her gym bag she dumped her clothes out onto the bed; a few pairs of panties, bras, some slacks and shirts. ‘Shit. All I grabbed was work clothes.’ Pulling her shirt off Tammy walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. There wasn’t a lot of clothing inside, just a few shirts and some panties, all of which were for a much younger girl. The next drawer had a few pairs of shorts and socks. When Tammy opened the third drawer she hesitated. This drawer was obviously dedicated to the younger niece. Inside was an opened package of Pampers, a few onesies and a couple of day outfits. The clothing Tammy completely ignored, the Pampers however… Unlike most people her age she could remember what it felt like to wear diapers. Until she was thirteen she had worn diapers nightly. It wasn’t until that point in her young life that she had developed enough muscle control to not wet nightly. While she had continued to wear training panties until she was nearly seventeen, they had been a welcome burden after so many nights in diapers. And yet she considered it. The pad in her panties still pressed against her skin, though it was dry now. Hesitantly she reached in, a finger touching the package. She slipped her hand in and pulled a diaper out. The diaper had a pink elastic band with green and pink flower designs printed on the front. The back was covered in green polka dots and tiny pink flowers. ‘This would solve the problem,’ she mused to herself. Slowly she climbed into bed and slipped the covers over herself. Hands still trembling Tammy slipped her panties down and around her ankles. She unfolded the diaper and placed it between her legs. Lifting her hips she slid the diaper under her bottom. As she lowered her hips she felt the padded material press against her bottom. ‘It won’t fit anyways,’ Tammy thought as she folded the diaper up between her legs. The soft padding pressed against her privates making her shutter. Spreading the front she taped the diaper in place. ‘It fits,’ she thought in horror. Without thinking she shifted her position, but the movement only served to remind her of what she was wearing. After a few moments Tammy finally pushed back the covers and swung herself out of bed. She tried to move quickly so as to minimize the feeling between her legs but it didn’t seem to help. With a sigh she stood. Walking towards the light switch Tammy grimaced at the crinkling sound that came from her bottom. Without thinking she glanced towards the closet only to see herself in a mirror. The sight made her stop in her tracks. Topless as she was she was standing in only her diaper. And in profile she could clearly see he bottom. Shockingly, unlike her panties, the diaper actually fit. Slowly she turned to face the mirror. ‘Is this what I should be wearing,’ she though miserably. ‘No! It’s not my fault. But the last thing I want is to wet Amy’s bed.’ Angrily Tammy grabbed her t-shirt and pulled in on over her head. After turning off the light she climbed into bed. As tears slowly rolled down her cheeks Tammy fell asleep. Chapter Three Her sleep was interrupted at some point by the urgent need to pee. Almost without thinking she shot out of bed. By the time she was standing, however, it was too late. Urine flooded the seat of her diaper. For a moment she blinked, curious at the odd feeling of warmth spreading across her bottom which lacked the familiar sensation of wet clothing. Instinctively she reached down to her crotch only to feel the soft padding between her legs become wetter and wetter. Her stomach began to feel tied into a knot, and with a grimace she laid back into bed. Even as she settled beneath her warm sheets and blanket, the last few squirts of pee soaked into the seat of her diaper. Some hours later Tammy’s eyes opened groggily. Leaning up in bed she wiped the sleep from her eyes and looked around. The events of the past day crashed down on her like a tsunami wave, and with a groan her head fell back to the pillow. ‘It’s just not fair,’ she thought to herself. Despite having slept for a half-night prior to coming over to Amy’s, Tammy had felt truly spent. Glancing over at an alarm clock set on the nearby dresser she was not surprised to see it was already 6 in the evening. ‘Oh my God, I never called to let Dr. Keller know I wasn’t coming in.’ That thought horrified her as she imagined her boss firing her on the spot once she did manage to make the call. Pushing back the covers Tammy kicked her feet off the bed to the floor. As she stood her wet diaper sagged a bit from the added weight, leaving her with an odd feeling as the material bunched near her bottom. A quick glance around the room told her there was nowhere to dispose of the diaper. Cursing herself for not planning ahead, she grabbed her shorts and slipped them over her wet diaper. Taking a deep breath she stilled herself for what must come next. She only needed to make it to the bathroom across the hallway, or perhaps to a trash can she hoped would be stored in the backyard along of the side of the house, but her heart still raced inside her chest. If she could do that she could remove the appalling garment and take a well needed, and deserved she thought, shower. Timidly, Tammy opened her door and stepped into the hallway. The smell of cooking bacon hit her senses with a tenacity that rivaled the uncomfortable sensation in the seat of her pants. Instinctively her hand went to her stomach as it moaned loudly in protest. The last thing she had eaten had been the cup of soup and that nearly twenty-four hours ago. Before she knew what she was doing Tammy found herself walking into the kitchen, her nose leading her towards the substance her stomach so desperately craved. Amy turned from the stove, a small wisp of flavorful smoke rising up behind her from the skillet which was filled with savory strips of sizzling bacon. Her face split into a warm smile as she saw Tammy standing in the doorway. “Well good morning, or afternoon if you prefer.” Glancing back at the skillet she flipped a few strips before turning and continuing. “I am guessing it has been sometime sense you ate. I hope you like eggs and bacon.” Tammy’s brow furled as she nodded. “Of course. They are like my favorite.” Amy’s smile seemed to broaden even further if that was possible. “Well you’re in luck.” Motioning with the spatula in her hand she gestured towards the table in the attached dining room. “If you’ll have a seat it’s just about ready.” Tammy replied with another smile before turning towards the table. As she took a step the feeling of a wet diaper bottom brought her back to her original predicament of the morning, or afternoon as it were. She tried to force her movements to be natural, but the bulk between her legs forced her to sway her hips back and forth more than usual. The result was a slight crinkle as she walked. She seated herself at the far end of the table, the end closest to the hallway. The wet padding of her diaper squished against her bottom as she sat. The sound it gave off was unmistakable. Blushing Tammy looked to see if Amy made any motion indicating she had noticed anything. When she continued to cook Tammy gave a silent sigh of relief. With a click Amy turned off the stovetop burner. A moment later she had the bacon on a plate wrapped in a paper towel to dry up the excess grease. Again Tammy’s stomach growled hungrily. As Amy piled bacon and scrambled eggs on Tammy’s plate she asked how she slept. Tammy smiled and replied she’d slept like a log, her eyes glued to the food being stacked on her plate. Amy chuckled and sat preparing her own plate. Without a second thought Tammy began to devour her food. The crisp bacon and cheesy eggs began to slowly sate her appetite, and as she finished off her first helping, she began to feel the tenacity of her hunger abate. Amy paused eating her own meal to add more bacon and eggs to Tammy’s plate. With a grateful smile Tammy began to clean her plate for a second time. As Tammy was munching her way through her sixth strip of bacon she felt her bladder began to demand an opportunity to relief itself. She squirmed in her seat, her bites slowing as her attention was drawn away from eating and gravitated towards other base needs. Setting down her glass of grape juice Amy’s face became a mask of curious concern. “Is everything alright dear?” Tammy became painfully aware of the woman’s scrutiny and forced herself to stop squirming. “No, I’m fine,” she replied, though her voice sounded weak in her own ears. Tentatively she took another bite of her bacon, but even as she did she felt her bladder beginning to empty itself into her already wet diaper. Swallowing her bacon Tammy forced back the tears which wanted to stream down her face. ‘My God, I’m wetting myself in front of this woman. No, worse, I’m wetting my diaper.’ The thought came unbidden and crashed over her. She wanted to run away and cry, to curl up on the shower floor and cry as the water washed away her embarrassment. The sound of pee soaking into her diaper seemed to fill her ears even over the sound of crunching bacon in her mouth. She felt like a toddler. Finishing up her breakfast Tammy began to stand. “I’m going to go take a shower.” “Ok dear, I will clean up here. There is a diaper pail in the bathroom you can toss your diaper into.” With that Amy picked up her plate and moved into the kitchen. Tammy froze in mid-stride towards the hallway. Though she could not see herself she knew from the heat in her cheeks she was blushing a bright red. Forcing herself onward Tammy hurriedly made her way to the hallway bathroom. Once safely inside Tammy collapsed back against the door and slid down to the floor. Her wet diaper made a soft splat sound as her bottom hit the tiled floor. Tears began to flow down her face unchecked. She couldn’t say how long she sat there that way, her hot tears rolling down to her chin and her breath coming in heaves. But with her mind a fog she pushed herself to her feet. ‘How did it come to this? I should have just cleaned myself off before going to breakfast.’ Her hands shaking Tammy slipped her shorts off. Glancing down at them she groaned. With two fingers she lifted the clothing up to inspect them. The seat of the shorts was damp. Not wet, but damp. The stain was clearly visible on the light colored material and encompassed a large circle which would have spread across her bottom when she wore them. ‘Is that how she had known,’ Tammy wondered. Had her shorts been wet before she sat down or after. With a disgusted sigh she tossed the wet shorts into the sink. Pulling off her shirt she hesitated, looking down at her wet diaper. In a flurry of movement she untapped the garment, wrapping it up tightly in a vain effort to hide the accident and tossed it in the diaper pail. **** The shower had worked wonders at restoring her perspective. She would simply explain her ‘situation’. She was sure Amy would receive the revelation with solemnity and understanding. After all, the condition was not her fault. She had no control over it. Her choice to wear diapers had been an effort to prevent her ‘situation’ from ruining Amy’s mattress. The pursuing events had been an attempt to hide her embarrassing predicament from discovery. Any reasonable person could easily follow the sequence of events and her thought process, or so she believed at least. Wrapping a towel tightly around herself she hesitantly opened the door. The hallway was empty. Sticking her head out Tammy listened. Not hearing any sign of Amy, Tammy dashed quickly across the hallway into her room. With a sigh of relief she quickly shut the door behind her. Her relief evaporated as she turned towards the bed. Laid out across her now made bed was a yellow sundress with white flowers printed across the garment and a fresh, folded diaper. Hesitantly Tammy crossed the room. Glancing about she saw he gym bag folded on the dresser. Moving towards it she quickly realized the garments she had stuffed inside were now missing. Looking around the floor she realized her panties and shirt from the day before were missing as well. ‘My God, my panties with the wet pad in them!’ That thought made her cringe. Amy had no doubt come in here and found them. ‘Did she take them all to clean?’ A soft knock spun her around to face the door. “Sweetie, are you ok? Do you…do you need help getting dressed.” Tammy swallowed and opened her mouth. Her throat felt dry and constricted. She wet her lips and opened her mouth again but nothing came out. The door knob turned and the door slowly swung inwards. Amy’s head appeared with a look of concern on her face. When she saw Tammy standing next to the bed a warm smile replaced the concern. It was a pleasant and comforting smile but Tammy felt the blood drain from her cheeks none the less. She knew she must be turning a ghostly shade of white. Standing in the doorway Amy studied Tammy for a few moments before speaking. “I put your clothes in the washer sweetie. They will be clean in a bit. Till then I figured you’d want something to wear around the house. I would have grabbed you some of my clothes,” at this she paused as her eyes brushed across the diaper laying on the bed in what seemed an unconscious manner. “Well the sundress will be easier to clean if you have an accident.” Blood and heat rushed back to into Tammy’s cheeks. Her face rapidly went from pasty white to rosy red. Finding her voice she replied, “Um...no, no…I can manage, thank you.” With a departing smile Amy shut the door. Tammy pressed her palm against the dresser to keep from collapsing to the floor. Her towel fell away from her body, landing forgotten at her feet. How had this all spiraled so far out of control? With an effort Tammy moved to the side of the bed. Sitting down her mind raced despite her best efforts to rein in the onslaught. Chapter Four Letting out a breath Tammy pulled the sundress over her head. The neckline hugged her neck, but aside from that, it was not uncomfortable. The sleeves wear a bit puffy with a hem of lace that came just past her shoulders and it hung down to her mid-thighs, but it was not tight like she had expected. Turning to the mirror she examined her reflection. She didn’t quite look like a toddler, she was a bit too tall for that, but she did look like she was perhaps nine or ten years old. Turning back to the bed she reached out and with a clammy hand picked up the diaper. ‘I do kinda need this,’ she thought with not just a little self-loathing. With a fresh tear rolling down her cheek Tammy laid back on the bed. She pulled her dress up around her waist and moved the diaper between her legs. Lifting her hips she slid the diaper beneath her then lowered her bottom onto the padded material. Swallowing hard, she pulled the diaper up and taped it into place. Standing, Tammy smoothed her dress down. Her diaper crinkled loudly as her hands moved past her waist. Once reaching the hem she found herself tugging slightly. Frowning she made her way towards the living room. Stepping out of the hallway she quickly found Amy sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine. Hearing Tammy walk in she looked up smiling. “Do you feel better dear?” Tammy hesitated before nodding. “Amy, I need to talk to you.” “Of course, sit down. I actually need to talk to you as well. But please, go first.” Tammy sat down in a recliner set to the side of the couch. She cringed at the loud crinkling that came from her bottom. Involuntarily her hands moved across her sundress, smoothing and tugging. Sitting as she was the hem of her dress rode up to her upper thighs barely hiding the garment just beneath. “Well,” Tammy started, her voice trembling. “About the, uh, protection. You see, I, uh, well being premature I have problems…it’s not my fault but I can’t help it.” As she spoke her hands fidgeted at her sides and her face glowed a bright red. “Let me stop you there,” Amy interrupted, her voice comforting and reassuring. Surprisingly, in fact, her voice sounded almost motherly. “I, um, discovered your problem last year in California. You wet your bed a few times up there and your pants during the day at least once.” She smiled kindly as she spoke, likely an attempt to take some of the sting out of her words. “I thought at the time that you must have a medical problem. And I’m guessing that is what you are trying to tell me.” She paused, obviously waiting for some kind of reply from Tammy. “Well, yes, you see I have a small bladder and the muscles which control, my well, control are weak.” Tammy nearly tripped over each word as she spoke, her cheeks turning redder and redder with each breath. She began to relate the sequence of events which had led to her decision before going to bed in what she had planned to be a logical and rational argument but Amy cut her off. “So, it’s not a medical problem?” Amy’s smile slipped a bit as she spoke. Tammy sat up, surprised by the sudden change of direction in the conversation. Her mouth moved a few times before she finally replied with a weak, “Yes it is.” Amy’s voice remained warm and her smile returned, but her eyes seemed sterner somehow. “Sweetie, you simply do not have properly control over when you go, correct?” Tammy licked her lips. She couldn’t help but think that she was somehow in trouble. The feel and crinkle of her diaper did nothing to improve her confidence beneath Amy’s scrutinizing gaze. “I suppose that is true.” “So it is simply a matter of not being properly potty trained.” Her voice lost a bit of the previous warmth, replaced with some of the stern resolve in her eyes. Tammy looked down at her lap. She knew her face was glowing like a campfire. What could she say? She didn’t look at it like that, not entirely at least. But a part of her, the part which criticized her and told her she deserved it, the part that made her cry, seemed to nod in agreement to Amy’s line of reasoning. “Well, Tammy? Are you potty trained or not?” Tammy looked up at this. She opened her mouth to say of course she was potty trained but the reproach in Amy’s eyes killed her moment of resolve. The self-loathing part of her stamped down her pride and Tammy laid her hands timidly in her lap. Eyes on her feet, she quietly replied, “No ma’am.” “No what?” “No, I’m not potty trained.” The admission brought a tear to her eye. As it had so many times the past few days the tear rolled down to her chin before falling to her lap. Amy suddenly stood and walked the short space between the two of them to stand in front of Tammy. “Stand up sweetie.” The last of the warmth in her voice was gone, her tone a strict instrument that would suffer no nonsense. With only a moment’s hesitation Tammy stood. Before she knew what was happening Amy grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. In a single motion she lifted Tammy’s sundress and began to paddle her diapered bottom. It lasted only a handful of seconds and with her diaper on, she barely felt it. But the shame of having her bottom, no worse, her diapered bottom spanked was mortifying. She would have preferred a sound paddling from her high school principal and her infamous paddle. At least that would have been directed at her jeans and panties. As her mind processed the experience Tammy felt a finger slide into her diaper from the back just above the crotch. The finger ran down till it brushed her privates before being retracted. ‘My God, she checked my diaper!’ Amy released Tammy’s dress before returning to her seat on the couch. Tammy smoothed the dress before sitting back down. When she looked up at Amy the stern look was gone, replaced again with the warm smile and kind eyes. “That was for lying sweetie. I know you were embarrassed, but not all little girls potty train at the same rate.” She sighed and continued, “Granted you are a bit behind in the game, but you’ll get there none the less.” Tammy nodded. Despite herself she did feel comforted by the warmth in Amy’s voice. The part of her that would have bristled at the implications was just too subdued by her diaper, the spanking and her admission to take offense. She even felt a small smile cross her face. “I know that you want to wear panties. You want to be a big girl and not a baby, but the truth is honey you need diapers. While you’re here you’ll stay in Pampers, but we’ll work at your potty training. Ok honey?” Timidly Tammy nodded. Chapter Five The remainder of the day, or evening rather, was spent watching TV for the most part. The shows Amy watched were not exactly what Tammy would have chosen but at the moment she felt far too subdued to offer any complaint. The encounter with Amy had left Tammy feeling shaken. When she said she was going to get something to drink Amy smiled said she would get it for her. Tammy had thought for a few brief moments that perhaps there was a silver lining in all of this until Amy returned with a sippy cup. Tammy blushed, she seemed to be doing that a lot lately, but took the cup without comment. When she took a drink, however, you let out a sigh that carried with it a lot of the pent up tension she had felt. The drink was some kind of fruit mix Tammy was not familiar with. It seemed to have a slight hint of sour, as if from lemons or lemonade, but a light sweet flavor reminiscent of cherry or grape. Despite her inability to identify the exact combination, the juice was satisfying and refreshing. After the first show Tammy felt the familiar pressure build up in her bladder. Glancing over at Amy she looked away before letting go of what little control she had, letting pee began to soak into her diaper. Finishing she began to stand. “What is it now dear?” Tammy swallowed hard. “I, uh, wet my diaper so I’m going…” Before Tammy could finish explaining she was going to go change her diaper Amy interrupted her. “Don’t worry honey; I will check you in a bit. Sit down and enjoy the show.” With that she gave her a kindly smile and returned to watching the television. Tammy hesitated before sitting back down. ‘So I’m not supposed to change my own diaper? Does she intend to change me herself?’ The thought came as a shock. ‘She did check me earlier.’ Despite the cup beginning empty now Tammy lifted it to her mouth to hide her face. As the program ended Amy finally stood. “While I know you only woke up a few hours ago I have a busy morning tomorrow.” Glancing over at a wall clock she continued, “It’s 8 30, but she didn’t really care. Now dressed and in a dry diaper she was beginning to drift slowly back towards the land of dreams. She could use a cup of coffee, but somehow did not think she would be obliged this morning. Half way between sleep and consciousness the nipple of a bottle passed between her lips and Tammy reflexively began to nurse. The awful taste of formula pulled her out of her near sleep. Her eyes opening she looked up to see Amy holding the bottle for her. “Be a good girl and hold your bottle sweetie.” Reluctantly Tammy did. As her fingers wrapped around the plastic length of the bottle Amy released it and took a bite of a granola breakfast bar in her hand. Tammy nearly moaned as she saw it. As the milky liquid trickled down her throat she yearned for the taste of real food in her mouth. Distracted by Amy and the retreating granola bar she didn’t even notice the pee that begin to slowly trickle into her diaper. A half minute went by, the formula slowly making it’s way into her stomach, her thoughts focused on the taste and texture of a breakfast bar before she finally stopped wetting her Pampers. Shifting her position slightly she became aware that her diaper was wet. The last clinging bit of doubt she had about needing diapers evaporated. As Amy crossed the room towards her, a pink backpack in her hand, Tammy quietly nursed on her bottle. Lifted to her feet by Amy’s free hand, Tammy walked quietly hand-in-hand to the front door, the crinkling of her diaper serving only to heighten her awareness of her wet Pampers. Even as Amy led her down the path to the car she continued to nurse from her bottle. A neighborhood boy, maybe fifteen or sixteen, jogging by glanced over in her direction. As the boy watched, Tammy nursed on her bottle as a heavy flow of pee escaped her bladder without any effort at constraint on her part into the seat of her Pampers. Tammy followed the boy with her eyes, watching him watch her. She blushed as Amy, not seeming to care if the boy saw, lifted the back of her dress. Both hands wrapped around her bottle, still nursing like an infant with a trickle of warm formula running down her chin, Tammy watched as the boy slowed to a walk, pulling his headphones off. Amy lifted a hand to the back of Tammy’s diaper asking, “Did you wet yourself sweetie?” Tammy swallowed a gulp of formula, still wetting despite Amy’s hand pressed to her bottom, and continued to nurse without replying. In a tender voice Amy said, “Oh, I’m sorry baby, you’re still tinkling.” Tammy could, and to her dismay, did imagine what she must look like. She could see herself standing with both her hands clinging to her bottle, held tightly to her mouth as she nursed. The milky formula trickling out of her mouth, around the nipple of the bottle and down her chin; a few drops falling to land on the front of her dress. Her Pampers, with their pink elastic waistband and green polka dots with small pink flowers printed across her bottom, on full display. Her mommy’s hand pressed against her bottom as she declared that she was still ‘tinkling’ in her diaper. Despite this Tammy made no effort to hide herself. She swallowed the last of her formula and lowered her bottle. Her stomach felt bloated and without warning, she farted into her diaper against Amy’s hand. It wasn’t loud, but she knew the boy heard it. Amy dropped her dress and Tammy felt it catch on the back of her diaper. Amy turned not noticing and replaced her bottle with her pacifier. Tammy sucked on her pacifier, mortified that her wet diaper was on full display to the watching boy. She fought the urge to smooth the garment. Kissing her forehead and tickling her tummy Amy teased, “Greedy piglet, did you enjoy your formula?” Tammy nodded. Amy wanted her to be a sweet, innocent, good little girl. Her cheeks were hot as she shifted and her diaper crinkled, though not as loudly now that the padding clear up her bottom and across her crotch was wet. Amy dabbed her cheeks and chin with a wipe, cleaning off the formula, then noticed her dress and hurried fixed it. Opening the door Amy said, “Now climb into your car seat precious. We’ll get you changed in a bit.” Tammy crawled into the car, blushing brightly as she flashed her wet diaper to the whole neighborhood. Amy hadn’t seemed to think anything odd about exposing her diaper, not trying to hide them, and so Tammy wouldn’t either. Even if that meant someone she knew saw her in it, or worse, saw her get changed. She desperately wanted to please her new mommy, to show her she was a good girl. She had to wiggle to get her hips into the car seat. The effort pushed her dress up to her waist, fully exposing her Pampers. Again Amy didn’t seem to think anything wrong with her diaper showing and pulled the safety bar down across Tammy’s lap. A buckle locked into place between her legs, slightly pressing against her diaper. Tossing the backpack in the back seat next to Tammy she walked around the car and got in her self. The entire exchange, from front door to car seat had taken less than a minute. Tammy’s legs felt weak, though, as if she’d been standing in one spot for countless hours. Looking down she could see her knees tremble ever so slightly, leaving her legs twitching back and forth hanging as they were just short of touching to floor. With a lurch the car pulled out of the driveway leaving Tammy shifting in her seat. Pacifier still in her mouth she watched as the few homes in the neighborhood passed by in the windows. Chapter Seven Amy drove into town as Tammy struggled to find a comfortable sitting position. The thin padding of the car seat offered limited options, serving mainly to press her wet diaper against her skin. She slid forward slightly as the car slowed and turned into a parking lot, the seat buckle pressing into the crotch of her Pampers. Looking through the window Tammy saw the store was a mom’n’pop grocery store. Amy pulled into a parking space near the front door, well they were all near the front door, and put the vehicle into park. Tammy watched as Amy got out of the car and walked over to the backdoor. After releasing her from the car seat she patted the seat next to it, indicating for her to lie down. Tammy glanced around. She could see people walking in and out of the store just a few paces from the open car door. Blushing she climbed out of her car seat and laid down. Just as she thought, once she was on her back Amy took her ankles and lifted them into the air. She felt her dress fall up around her waist and heard the tapes of her diaper being unfastened. She imagined countless eyes watching as her wet diaper was pulled open, exposing her bare flesh. Closing her eyes she sucked on her pacifier as Amy cleaned her and slid a dry diaper beneath her bottom. She blushed as powder was reapplied before her diaper was pulled back up into place. Amy then took her by the hand and pulled her out of the car, smoothing her dress down once she was upright. Without warning Amy pulled Tammy into a tight embrace, kissing the top of her head and holding her close against her chest. Tammy found her faced pressed Amy’s blouse, her arms pinned to her sides by the embrace. Pulling back, Amy bent down and took Tammy’s face in her hands, slightly tilting it upwards so their eyes met. Tammy felt herself drawn into those crystal blue eyes. She might have been imaging it, but she thought she could see love and tenderness swirling in them. “Baby,” Amy said her voice full of tenderness. “There is no reason to be upset, mommy is here. I got you.” She bent down and kissed her cheeks. To her surprise Tammy realized she had been crying. The mortification she had felt while being changed had been too much. She had tried to be a good girl, to prove to Amy that she would make a good baby; tried to prove it so she would keep being her mommy. Amy again pulled her tight against her, kissing the top of her head. Sucking on her pacifier, Tammy cried. She felt so overwhelmed. She had been upset and trying to hide it but Amy had known. She had known and showered her with affection. Closing her eyes she relaxed into the embrace. Amy must have stood there holding her for five minutes, stroking her hair and reassuringly hushing her. When she finally pulled away she looked down at Tammy. “Feel better baby?” The question was blessedly filled with love and concern. Behind her pacifier Tammy nodded. Clinging to Amy’s right arm Tammy followed her into the store. She buried her face, half hidden by her hair, into Amy’s side as she sucked her pacifier. She didn’t care her diaper crinkled loudly beneath her dress as she walked next to Amy. She hardly even noticed the odd looks she got from some of the other shoppers, some who no doubt had seen her diaper change. When Amy turned down the baby aisle Tammy hid her face deeper into Amy’s side. The older woman just affectionately patted her shoulder and continued shopping, adding several packages of diapers, a few bibs, wipes and a case of formula to the basket. As they moved down other aisles, past shopping customers Tammy had no doubt they all guessed the items in their basket were for her. She could hear her Pampers crinkle with each step. Closing her eyes she clung tighter, sucking on her pacifier. With her eyes closed she could almost imagine it was just her and Amy. After adding some can goods and a few other items Amy finally turned towards the checkout register. She couldn’t see the woman at the checkout stand with her face buried, of course, but she greeted them warmly. “Good morning, you enjoying this beautiful weather?” “Oh yes, it’s quite lovely. And how about yourself?” Tammy tried to ignore the women’s presence as she and Amy chatted like that for a few minutes. But when the conversation suddenly turned to her she found herself clinging even tighter to Amy’s side. “Yes she is a shy thing,” Amy was saying in response to a question. “How old are you sweetie,” Terri, the checkout lady, asked Tammy. When Tammy didn’t reply Amy stepped in. “She is twelve. She gets shy like this when we go shopping.” Lowering her voice, though she still too loudly in Tammy’s opinion, she continued. “She’s still not potty trained. Poor dear has had a bit of a rough childhood. Tammy was sure from the heat in her cheeks that she was a bright shade of red. She expected the woman to laugh and point out Amy’s obvious lie but instead when she spoke her voice was consoling. “Oh, you poor dear. You sure are a cute little thing.” Tammy slowly lifted her face from her hiding place. The plump woman was smiling at her over the cans she was bagging. “There you are,” she said with a smile. “My you certainly are a pretty thing.” Despite herself Tammy smiled behind her pacifier. Glancing to the side she saw a woman skimming through a tabloid as she waited with her two children. Her son looked to be eight or nine, but her daughter was near her own supposed age. When the young girl looked up at her and gave a small, nasty smirk Tammy felt herself pee a little into her diaper. It wasn’t much, certainly not enough to be noticed by anyone else, but she knew. To her own horror she realized that for a brief moment she had been afraid of the young girl. Before she had time to turn away she felt Amy take her hand and thank Terri. Back at the car she again flashed her diaper while climbing in. After strapping her in Amy opened the backpack and pulled out a bottle. Tammy almost groaned at the sight of it until she saw Amy open a container of chocolate milk and poor half of it into the bottle. Excitedly she spit her pacifier out. Eagerly she reached for the bottle, bouncing in her car seat. She knew that she must look ridiculous, but the prospect of tasting something other than formula was more than just exciting, it was thrilling. “Ok you greedy baby,” Amy laughed handing her the bottle. As Amy got into the driver seat and pulled away, Tammy nursed hungrily on the bottle. The taste of chocolate, even diluted in milk, seemed more delicious than anything she had tasted in years. She didn’t even notice the milk trickling down her face and spilling onto her dress. The taste of chocolate was intoxicating. As she drained the bottle into her still full stomach her eyes began to droop heavily. Still almost half full the bottle rolled out of her hands as she fell asleep in her car seat. **** Amy drifted between determination and apprehension as she made the left hand turn. The car accelerated forward, every moment bringing the confrontation she knew would come that much closer. This was not how she had planned to spend her Thursday morning, but her life had turned upside down in the last twenty-four hours. The situation with Tammy was of course at the heart of her dilemma. She could avoid this confrontation entirely, return home. She and Tammy could sit outside by the side of the pool and enjoy the coming day; it certainly was shaping up to be a beautiful one. ‘No,’ she thought with a grimace. This had to happen at some point if she was going to allow this to continue. It surprised her how quickly the young woman had worked her way into her heart. ‘No,’ she thought again. ‘Not a young woman, a little girl. She’s not a young woman anymore.’ Glancing back she smiled at the sleeping child. A faint foul odor made her wrinkle her nose so she cracked her window. She of course had never intended this. When she had invited Tammy to stay with her she had suspected the girl had a medical issue with her bladder. In California Tammy had wet her bed on a few occasions, and even her pants during the day once. She had assumed, correctly as it turned out, that Tammy would take steps to address her problem. She of course had been shocked to see the pink waistband of Tammy’s diaper sticking out the back of her shorts that first day the two of them had enjoyed an afternoon breakfast together. She had nearly choked on a piece of bacon in fact. But regardless, she had too much tact to mention it to the girl. That was, of course, until she had wet herself at the kitchen table. Even then, though, she had debated with herself on how to proceed. She wanted the girl to put on another diaper that went without saying; but you couldn’t just tell another grown woman to put on a clean diaper after her shower. She still regretted her bluntness then, despite how things had turned out. She’d never intended to send the girl running to the shower crying, or very nearly crying. No, she had meant her causal mention of the fact to convey her understanding of Tammy’s situation. And then there was that shocking revelation. A girl her age, not potty trained. It made her want to slap the girl’s mother. In that, Tammy was correct in insisting it wasn’t her fault. Mother’s are responsible to potty train their little girls, not leave the poor child to fend for themselves. Her mother should have invested her time and care into the girl. Oh but she knew what the woman would say, give the same excuse that Tammy had regurgitated. That was something her mother had no doubt told Tammy countless times to gloss over her disinterest in her own daughter. Amy took a deep breath, refusing to give into the anger she was beginning to feel towards the woman. She was not by nature an angry or violent person, quite the contrary, but this was not the first time since the young girl had melted her heart that anger, bordering on fury, had welled up inside of her. That line of thinking made her glance back again and before she knew it her smile was back. Did she really love the girl? ‘Yes,’ she told herself. She had put Tammy back into diapers at first for the simple reason that the girl was not potty trained. Any little girl not potty trained needed to be in diapers. Not allowing Tammy to change them herself had been an attempt to show her Amy’s sincerity to help overcome her problem. ‘If you’re going to tell someone they need to achieve something then you have to be willing to help them achieve it,’ she thought, quoting her own mother. Her tenderness had been meant to be reassuring, to help Tammy get through a difficult situation. And the babying, well ‘tough love’, as her mother often said, ‘is sometimes necessary.’ And then Tammy had asked her to be her mommy, and somehow, everything had changed. She had always wanted a child, a girl to be specific, though she would have loved a boy just the same. But that would never happen; the doctors had assured her of that. Unable to conceive, irreparable tissue damage; those were the terms they had used to describe her condition after her first and only miscarriage. Barren; that was the term her husband had used to describe her a month before filing for divorce. Unbidden tears tried to form, but she pushed them aside. But now there was Tammy. She was so eager to please her new mommy, so quick to sink into her new role as the baby. And that concerned Amy. There was no question Tammy had to stay in diapers. The mess in her Pampers as she slept might be from the formula, but the night and daytime wetting was not acceptable for someone suppose to be twenty years old. She had to be potty trained, despite her protests, at some point. So what could she do? ‘Love and hold her.’ Yes, she truly did love the girl. The way she looked up at her, those green eyes pleading to be held. The way her walnut hair hung haphazardly around her face, framing her delicate features. And the way she would look up at her with her pacifier in her mouth, it made Amy want to shield her from the world. Gently she reached back and caressed the girl’s leg. Yes, that was why she was willing to confront her sister. If she was Tammy’s mommy then Tammy was her daughter, and that made Julie her aunt. She just hoped Julie would see it that way. Amy could of course lie about Tammy’s age, tell her she was only twelve, Julie would likely believe that. Hell, Julie would probably believe Tammy was eight or nine dressed as she was, though she was a bit tall for that age bracket. But she just couldn’t lie to her sister. She wanted Julie to recognize Tammy for what she was. She wanted her to see the little girl who wanted desperately to be loved, the little girl who needed to be held and comforted. Tammy’s Birth Certificate might say she was twenty years old, but one look into those vulnerable green eyes told Amy so much more than any piece of paper ever could. That look of contentment on Tammy’s face when Amy had agreed to be her mommy, the contentment that surprisingly had only seemed to deepen when Amy had taped her diaper shut. She wanted…no she needed Julie to see that. She wanted Julie to be Tammy’s loving aunt. Despite all her courage Amy’s heart nearly stopped as she turned into her sister’s drive. Pulling next to the mini-van she parked the car. With a final deep breath, she opened the car door and made her way to the front door. It only took a few moments for the door to swing open after ringing the doorbell. Julie, a younger version of herself, or so people always said, greeted her with a wide smile and open arms. “Well hey you, forget where I lived?” Amy returned the smile and embraced her sister. “Those two nieces of mine would never forgive me if I did a thing like that.” Exchanging kisses to the cheeks they released one another. “Well come on in, I was just finishing up some laundry. Have you eaten breakfast? It’s a bit late in the morning but I’m sure I can find something for you if you’d like.” As she spoke Julie stepped to the side to let Amy in. Glancing back at the car Amy hesitated. “Julie there is someone with me,” she began stilling herself for the outburst that was soon to come. As Julie glanced towards the car she continued. “Her name is Tammy, and, well she is not like other girls her age.” Julie raised a questioning eyebrow at this. “How so?” “She is twenty years old but not quite potty trained,” Amy said, rushing forward. “She was born premature, from what I have gathered, and her mother never showed her the attention she needed growing up. As you can imagine this has left the girl at a disadvantage and a bit scarred.” Julie frowned at that. “Amy, you know me better than that. I would never judge someone for problems they might have that are out of their control. Tell her to come on in…” Julie trailed off as Amy shook her head to indicate her sister did not quite understand. “Julie, you’re my sister, and it is important to me that you understand what is going on.” At Julie’s look of confusion she continued. “Tammy’s apartment was in the flood zone near Lake Sherman. She was forced to abandon her home in the evacuation and taken to one of the shelters.” At this Julie smiled. “Always trying to save the world, huh.” Despite herself Amy smiled though she did roll her eyes. “Yes, but that’s beside the point. I saw her there and recognized her from the relief effort down in California last year; she was a volunteer. Well, to make a long story short I invited her to stay with me till her home was safe to return to. When she came to breakfast I caught her in one of Sammy’s diapers.” “Really,” Julie commented, her eyebrows lifting in surprise. “Well, caught is perhaps too strong a word. Saw her in one; the waistband was sticking out the back of her shorts. Either way, she did it to keep from having an accident.” Julie nodded at this. “A bit extremely though, not to mention weird. Why didn’t she just…well I suppose she was probably too embarrassed to mention her…problem. Thoughtful of her, I suppose, but still weird.” Amy listened to her sister vocalize her thoughts, a habit she’d had since childhood, and nodded with a small smile in agreement at her conclusion. “Well I thought so too, so I tried to be as tactful as possible…” Julie interrupted her with a soft chuckle. “Good luck there; hard to be tactful when bringing up something that touchy.” Again Amy nodded in agreement touching the tip of her nose. “Well I did know before hand she had a problem, from the relief trip,” Amy clarified before continuing. “So I was going to leave it at that and let her deal with the situation as she saw fit. That was until she wet herself at the kitchen table.” That bombshell made Julie gasp. “You’re kidding me!” Amy shook her head and continued. “So as she was leaving to take a shower I told her to put her diaper in the pail I keep in the guest bathroom for Sammy. As you’d expect she got upset and cried in the bathroom before taking her shower.” “Amy,” her sister scolded her, a disapproving frown crossing her face. “I know, I didn’t mean it to sound so harsh but she caught me off guard. Despite that, I still wanted her to put on a clean diaper after her shower; girls can’t just wet themselves at the dinner table like that and not expect to have to wear Pampers.” Julie nodded her agreement at that, though she still had a mild frown on her face. “So I went into her room to lay out a diaper for her, a subtle suggestion you could say.” “Well not that subtle, but I can see your point.” “Anyways, I noticed while I was in there that the only clothes the silly girl had thought to pack besides the shorts she wore to the shelter were a few shirts and her work clothes.” “She was probably in a hurry packing Amy.” Amy smiled a bit to herself. Julie had taking Tammy’s side several times so far during the course of the conversation. That bode well to her coming to terms with the situation; perhaps not today, though she hoped she would, but someday. “You’re right, I’m sure. Well, when she wet at the table her diaper must have already been pretty wet because it leaked and got on her shorts. So I laid out one of Stephanie’s sundresses for her to wear.” When Julie opened her mouth, protest on her tongue, Amy quickly cut her off. “Now I was not about to give her some of my clothes. Besides, those dresses are easier to clean.” Reluctantly Julie nodded her agreement so Amy continued. “Well after she came out dressed we sat down and had a conversation about the whole incident. When I found out that she didn’t have any medical condition, that she was blaming it on being born premature, I confronted her. In the end she admitted she wasn’t potty trained.” “I am not quite sure I follow. She said that she had trouble with accidents because she was born premature?” When Amy nodded she continued. “I don’t quite understand the connection.” “She says she has weaker muscles as a result. She is probably right, but not learning to control them is no different in my mind than not being potty trained.” Julie was quite for a moments and so Amy watched her sister closely. She could tell from the way she wrinkled her brow she was processing what she had heard thus far. Her eyes slowly drifted towards the ceiling, before nodding her head slowly, looked back at Amy. “I can see how she would think that way. Given what you said about her past, either her mother was abusive or simply neglected her.” “I don’t think she was abusive. She seems to crave affection which leads me to believe her mother neglected her, or at the least, showed her little open affection.” “So you’re trying to help her then, to bring her out of her shell?” The frown was gone from Julie’s face, replaced now by genuine interest. “At first…yes. I had intended to keep her in diapers while we worked on the potty training. I didn’t know about her past at this point, so I wasn’t planning on bringing her out of her shell; just to help her get to where a girl her age should be.” She hesitated then, knowing that she had finally come to it. She thought her sister would understand, if told in the right way, but she dreaded it nonetheless. Julie sensed her mood, or at least picked up on the fact that her sister was delaying. “What happened Amy?” Her voice was calm now, her face serious. Amy took a deep breath and continued. “Well I was changing her diaper and she asked me to be her mommy.” Despite herself a small tear fell down her face. The serious expression on Julie’s face melted into a soft mask of sympathy. “Oh Amy,” she said, her voice soft. When her sister reached an arm to her Amy pulled back a bit. “Julie, she needs me. If you saw her face, the pleading in her eyes, you’d understand. She doesn’t just need someone to hold her and tell her it will be ok, she needs someone to take care of her. She needs someone to protect her and love her. She needs to be someone’s baby.” She watched her sister, the skepticism plain on her face. In a soft voice Amy added, “She needs me.” With the dead honesty only a sister could offer Julie retorted, “And if she is using you? If she is just some messed up girl that is going to get tired of you in a few days, or a few weeks; where does that leave you?” Amy suppressed the next tear that yearned to roll down her cheek, and shocking, the urge to slap her sister. She hadn’t felt that way since the two of them had been girls. It still surprised her how sharp her protective instincts were when it came to Tammy. Julie must have seen her response to that in her eyes because she only nodded. “Ok. Ok. Bring her in; I’m sure she is fretting alone in the car.” Amy glanced back at the car. “No, she is probably still sleeping.” Turning back to her sister she added, “She messed her diaper while she was asleep. Please don’t make a scene about it. As far as diapers go she is no different than Sammy. I hate doing it, but I have made an effort to let a few people see her diapers so she gets use to it. As long as you’re tender, she is content little girl.” “Smart, I suppose, if you intend to keep her in diapers.” “Well,” Amy sighed looking back at her sister. “I tried to get her to use the potty but she said she didn’t want to. I think we are going to have to take it slow. You have to understand, mentally she is sharp as a tack; training to become a veterinarian before all of this. But emotionally…emotionally she is a train wreck. The potty training is just a symptom, I think, to a much bigger and deeper problem.” Blessedly, when Julie nodded her eyes seemed a bit softer and more understanding. Amy knew she still had her reservations but she was coming around. Chapter Eight A churning in Tammy’s stomach began to slowly pull her away from fitful dreams. As her eyes slowly opened she blinked in confusion. She couldn’t quite remember the dream, but it had been very unpleasant. A violent pain twisting through her stomach bent her forward against the restraints of her car seat as vomit poured out her mouth onto the front of her dress. Her mouth burnt from the stomach acids and her nosed wrinkled in disgust at the smell of sour milk. Vaguely she was aware of the vomit drip from her chin to add to the mess on her chest. Glancing down involuntarily she quickly looked away, almost vomiting a second time at the sight of the mess. Most was a diluted brown from her chocolate milk, but some was the milky white of the formula. Feeling horrible, she shifted in her seat. The feeling of a messy bottom sent her over the edge. Without thinking she began to wail. It wasn’t the cry of a hysterical young girl or the deep sobs of a heartbroken woman. It is more primal, more infantile. She cried, only wanting her mommy. She had messed in her sleep without even knowing and vomited all over her dress. Now all she knew was she wanted her mommy. Tammy didn’t see Amy rushing down the path towards the car. In fact she barely noticed her open the door. It wasn’t until she heard Amy’s voice that she looked up. “Baby,” Amy said her voice full of concern. She might have continued but Tammy cut her off. “Mommy,” she cried her voice frantic as her arms reached out to be held. “Hush baby, mommy is here.” Reaching over Amy unfastened the car seat lifting the safety bar over Tammy’s head. Tammy didn’t move from her seat; too busy crying to understand anything. She felt Amy pull her dress up and over her head before carefully wrapping the messy garment up around itself. In mid-cry Amy scooped up her pacifier from where she had spit it out and popped it into Tammy’s mouth. Tammy whimpered behind the pacifier, slowly beginning to suck. When Amy wrapped her arms around her, lifting Tammy out of the seat and car to rest on her hip Tammy felt herself immediately begin to calm. She buried her face into Amy’s hair, not caring in the slightest that she was outside in full view of anyone who cared to look in nothing but her messy diaper. By the time the front door was shut behind them she felt content **** Julie watched in shock as the scene unfolded before her. She had heard the crying first, but while she was still wondering why a screaming infant had been left outside somewhere Amy had leapt into action. And when she pulled the then pacified girl out of her car in nothing but her diaper Julie had nearly fainted. The seat of the girl’s diaper was obviously messy but she didn’t seem to care. Hell, Julie herself had acted more self conscious about the entire affair than the girl. She stepped aside so her sister could carry her into the house, softy hushing her though it no longer seemed necessary. Wrapped in Amy’s arms she looked as peaceful as any sleeping babe. She felt dumbfounded as it dawned on her where she had seen that type of behavior before. Sammy acted the same whenever she was real upset or scared. And Stephanie, before her, had been the same way when she was Sammy’s age. Not believing her senses she blinked, quietly following her sister into the living room. Turning, Amy asked, “I left her bag in the car. Could she wear one of Sammy’s diapers, and could I borrow some wipes and powder.” Julie opened her mouth to point out that Tammy would be too big for Sammy’s diapers before stopping. The girl, of course, was already wearing one that her sister kept at her house for Sammy and it looked as though it fit her just fine. Closing her mouth she nodded, finally managing a weak, “Of course.” Walking back to the nursery Julie simply shook her head. If the girl had feigned that performance then she was a well trained actress, something Julie thought highly unlikely. Had she really been that upset? She had sounded terrified. And the way she clung to Amy, face buried. No, she had not looked like a young woman whom liked to dabble in weird behavior. She had looked like a frightened, upset child who wanted her mother. And once she was safely in Amy’s arms she hadn’t seemed to care about anything else. ‘Could Amy actually be right about the girl?’ The thought bounced around her head as she grabbed Sammy’s diaper bag and the changing mat off the top of the table. It seemed to defy all reason and logic, it seemed impossible. She just couldn’t imagine a grown woman acting that way. Oh, she agreed that the girl needed to remain diapered, though babying her was perhaps taking it a bit far. But that crying… Walking back into the living room Julie laid out the changing mat on the floor. She set the diaper bag next to it and then walked over to take a seat on the couch. Amy smiled at her and gave a quite, “Thank you,” before bending down to lay the girl onto the mat. Distracted, Julie waved away the comment and watched her sister care for the girl. When Amy untapped and opened the diaper she jumped a bit in surprise. The girl was peeing and made no effort to stop. Julie chuckled despite herself as Amy quickly pulled the diaper back up into place. Amy shot her an odd look, half surprise half glare. Julie chuckled again and with a shrug of her shoulders said, “It happens.” Lifting her hand gently to the girl’s crotch she waited till Tammy was done before resuming the diaper change. Julie stood, scooped up the soiled dress from beside the girl. “I’ll just toss this in the wash.” “Thanks Julie.” She smiled at her sister before walking back to the laundry room. Stepping over to the wash sink Julie unfolded the dress, wincing at the drying vomit down the front. She glanced back towards the living room, though her view was obstructed by several walls and a hallway, before turning back. Turning on the sink she rinsed most of the mess down the drain. Grabbing a bottle of Shout she sprayed a liberal amount back and forth across the stain. After draping the garment over the sink to presoak she made her way back into the living room to check on her sister’s progress. Thankfully the room had the lightly sweet smell of powder now that Tammy had a clean diaper on, her messy one tightly rolled into a ball and set to the side. Coming around the couch she stopped. Julie watched in fascination as her older sister tickled the girl’s bare stomach with her right hand, her left held up in front of Tammy. The girl had both her hands wrapped around it as she giggled behind her pacifier. “See, it is ok now baby, mommy has you; my ticklish little baby.” ‘If that girl is playing some kind of game…’ She let the thought trail off as her senses tingled from the cold anger the possibility provoked. Sighing, she let go of her anger and walked over to retake her seat on the couch. “Would you mind if I put her down for a nap?” Julie looked up at this, hesitating to agree. “I would but Stephanie would be upset if she wet herself and leaked onto the bed.” She noticed the girl blush. ‘So she is self-conscious, at least when she’s not screaming her head off.’ That line of reasoning circled her back to her previous thought and the anger began to simmer again. Amy just laughed. “Oh no, I put her in the crib last night just in case something like that happened.” The blush on the girl’s face deepened a bit. “In that case, sure. Sammy and Stephanie are at their father’s. They won’t be back till tomorrow.” Amy thanked her before leading the girl by the hand back towards the nursery. Julie watched them go before standing. Her thoughts raced as she headed back towards the laundry room. She wanted the girl to be genuine for Amy’s sake. If she turned out to be using her or playing some kind of sick game it would destroy her sister. She might not have said so, but Julie could tell Amy had falling in love with the girl. Hell, Amy had nearly bit her head off when she implied the girl might not be what she appeared. Tossing the soiled dress into the washer with detergent she set the timer. She barely noticed it kick on and begin to fill with water as she walked back towards the living room. Sitting back on the couch she waited for her sister. **** Tammy clung to Amy, the smell of her mommy’s hair filling her senses. Her head spun and her breathing was still a bit heavy from her crying just a few minutes ago. The feel of warm morning air brushing across her bare flesh was replaced now by the chill of air conditioning. The mess in the seat of her Pampers was unpleasant, but she barely noticed. She just held tight, breathing in the smell of her mommy; it smelled safe. Distantly she heard Amy hushing her, a hand caressing her back and stroking her hair. Tammy whimpered behind her pacifier, a strand of hair sticking to her cheek. She heard Amy’s voice, speaking to someone else in the room, but the words didn’t register. The sound though eased her mind deeper into a state of euphoria. Contentment spread throughout her body, relaxing her tense muscles until she felt limp in Amy’s arms. Her body flirted with sleep. Without warning the world turned up upon itself, the comforting smell of Amy replaced with the foul odor of her diaper. She felt herself laid out onto something soft; a changing pad her mind recalled from some distant memory. Slowly, Tammy opened her eyes. It wasn’t until Amy untapped her diaper and pulled it open that she realized she was wetting herself. The sound of pee squirting into her Pampers filled her ears as cold air rushed in to caress her privates. Tammy nearly panicked at that, terrified she might pee on Amy. She tried to stop, reaching out with her will to tighten her muscles. Even as she did a part of her knew it wouldn’t work. Just like back in her apartment, like a thousand times before, once she started wetting she had little to no hope of stopping. Before, when she caught it in time, the best she could manage holding it was for a minute or so, now…now she doubted she could manage anything more than a handful of seconds. Every sense that first diaper changing her control over her body and emotions had seemed to progressively regress. Amy said she was her sweet baby girl and Tammy…well Tammy was becoming just that. The part of her that remembered her freshman psychology courses pointed to her sudden and drastic change in self-perception. It rationalized the dynamic shift she had undergone within the social hierarchy; how that change had balanced itself against her natural desire to conform. An escalation from normative conformity to internalization it told her. Her fear of rejection had manifested itself into an internal pressure to conform, conform until her interpretation of her own self worth shifted her self-perception. Her mind reasoned this served only to reinforce her own preexisting self-doubt and thus led to acceptance. This line of thought was of course only a faint echo drowning beneath a sea of emotional turmoil. Her panic at peeing on Amy, the possibility of losing that sense of warmth and comfort she provided blinded her to reason. And then she felt her diaper pulled back up into place. She faintly heard a woman chuckle and say, “It happens.” Sucking hard on her pacifier Tammy helplessly laid quietly on her back as she peed into the diaper Amy held up between her legs. When the last trickle dripped down her skin onto her bottom her mommy pulled the soaked Pamper away. A woman, strangely resembling Amy if a bit younger, suddenly stepped into Tammy’s line of vision. Tammy sucked harder on her pacifier, holding her breath. She had vaguely been aware that someone else was in the room, but despite that, she still felt startled. Her cheeks grew hot when the woman grabbed her dirty dress and disappeared. It was silly to be shy about a messy dress all things considered, but she was nonetheless. Amy’s tender attention pulled her mind back to the present. With gentle efficiency her mommy cleaned her messy bottom. The bliss of finally having the messy diaper removed was only surpassed by the feel of a clean one sliding under her bottom. Her body relaxed into it. Sprinkling powder Amy whispered in a gentle voice, “My poor scaredy-cat. I shouldn’t have left you all alone in the car like that.” Tammy was about to tell her mommy that she hadn’t been afraid, that she had just been sick before realizing the truth. She had been terrified. Looking back she hadn’t cared about anything save being held by Amy. If her own mother had been there Tammy half expected she would still have behaved the same. She blinked, her mind confused at the conflicting thoughts, the conflicting emotions. It was like riding a rollercoaster; one minute she was mortified when someone saw her, suffering in order to live up to Amy expectations. The next, she was a whimpering mess wanting her mommy, not caring who saw her Pampers. With a smile Amy folded the diaper up between Tammy’s legs and taped it shut. With Tammy’s bottom now securely diapered Amy moved on to clean the rest of her. Using a wipe she gently cleaned her arms, lifting each before moving on to her hands. Amy then moved on to her chest. Tammy’s tiny breast were only slight curves to an otherwise flat chest, her nipples those of a girl half her age. Her body clean Amy moved on to her face. Tammy felt the wipe press against her mouth rubbing her clean. As the wipe moved to each cheek her sense of smell was overwhelmed. All she could smell was the wipe. Her face was gently pushed this way then that as her mommy moved on to cleaning her neck. When Amy finally moved away, her work complete, Tammy felt blissfully clean. But oddly it was not the same kind of clean she felt after a shower or bath. She smelled and felt like a clean infant. Looking up Tammy stared into Amy’s deep sapphire eyes. She breathed softly, her eyelids half closing. She couldn’t imagine a better place to be, quietly sucking her pacifier while her mommy hovered over her. Without warning a hand went to her stomach and began to tickle vigorously. Wiggling, her diaper crinkling loudly, she giggled behind her pacifier. Her mommy held her left hand just above her face, fingers wiggling as she teased her. Instinctively Tammy reached out and wrapped her hands around her mommy’s, still giggling as she was tickled. With a loving smile and a tender voice she cooed, “See, it is ok now baby, mommy has you; my ticklish little baby.” Her mommy’s right hand still attacking her stomach, Tammy’s diapered bottom bounced off the ground a few times as she giggled. Looking away her mommy asked the other woman, “Would you mind if I put her down for a nap?” Tammy paid no attention, still giggling until the woman replied, “I would but Stephanie would be upset if she wet herself and leaked onto the bed.” Tammy couldn’t help but blush. With a laugh her mommy replied, “Oh no, I put her in the crib last night just in case something like that happened.” Tammy’s cheeks got hotter. Apparently satisfied with the response the woman relented. “In that case, sure. Sammy and Stephanie are at their father’s. They won’t be back till tomorrow.” With a smile her mommy took Tammy by the hand, pulling her to her feet saying, “Thank you. I’ll be right back after I put her down.” On her feet now Tammy followed behind Amy. The sound of her diaper was much louder than the pink ones her mommy had used before. These were white with baby blue stripes running down the front, between her legs and up her bottom. Between the stripes on the front was a pink bear dancing with yellow shooting stars above her head. In tow behind her mommy Tammy soon found herself led into a room that could only be described as a nursery. Unlike, well, her own room she thought, a broad smile crossing her face behind her pacifier. Unlike her room there was no bed for big girls in here. No, the only bed in this room was the crib, and next to it a changing table. Most of the remaining wall space in the room was dedicated to a huge pink toy chest, stuffed animals, baby dolls, a basinet and a collapsed playpen. The walls themselves were a soft pink, and apparently, used as an oversized coloring pad. Ponies, stick figures, doodles and drawings covered every exposed inch of the walls that was within reach of any creative toddler. Tammy’s smile slipped as Amy stopped in front of the crib, lowering the side safety rail. To her own surprise Tammy found herself flinging her arms around Amy, her pacifier falling out of her mouth. “Mommy! Mommy!” Tears began running down her cheeks. “I wanna stay with you!” Her voice was frantic. Putting an arm around Tammy Amy replied gently, “It’ll be ok baby. Come on, be a good girl.” Tammy shook her head, crying as she clung to Amy in only her diaper. Amy’s tone was changed when she spoke next. There was still a tender element to it, but it was lined with stone now, a stern unwavering resolve. “Tammy, you’re going to take a nap. There is no point in throwing a tantrum. “But I want to…” Tammy began before a swift swat to her bottom turned her protest into a shriek of pain. Well, no so much pain, under her diaper her bottom barely felt the blow, but shock. It was the first time Amy had shown anything but a soft touch since agreeing to be her mommy. “Now hush,” Amy commanded. Tammy did so, not so much as a peep escaping her lips, though they did quiver. Gently Amy untangled Tammy’s arms from around her waist. Tammy felt Amy’s hand take her chin and tilt her face upwards. Slowly Tammy lifted her green eyes, puffy and red from crying, to meet Amy’s blue. With Tammy doing as she was told, Amy let the stern ridges fade from her voice. “Sweetie, I know it was been a tough morning for you. And I know yesterday was just as stressful.” Amy bent down kissing her cheek. Cradling Tammy’s face with her hands she continued, her own so close their noses were nearly touching. “We have both been going through a lot of changes in the last few days. Learning to accept who we are, and trying to embrace what we want. I promise, even when you can’t see me mommy is taking care of you. You’re mommy’s little girl. So I want you to be good and stop pouting.” Reluctantly Tammy nodded. Amy smiled at her and scooping her up, lifting her into the crib. Tammy settled onto her knees inside the crib, looking up at her mommy from over the railing. Her left hand reached out, wrapping around one of the bars as her right hand went to her mouth, instinctively beginning to suck her thumb. After securing the railing and kissing Tammy’s forehead Amy turned away. As she walked out the room she flipped off the light switch. Immediately the room lit up with a pink glow as a night light switched on. Laying back Tammy shifted about, trying to find a comfortable position. She moaned a bit behind her mouth as she thought how much smaller this crib was than her own. In her crib she could lay flat with her knees slightly bent and be comfortable. In this crib, however, she didn’t have nearly as much leg room. Her feet were half a foot apart and her knees bent back, forcing her legs far apart. The shifting made her diaper crinkle loudly. That too was different. Her diapers…well they had been Sammy’s but they were HERS now…her diapers were designed to appear more like cloth diapers. They lacked the slick plastic cover that these diapers had. She pouted a bit thinking her diapers were more comfortable. Well, to be honest she couldn’t actually tell a difference. But her diapers were cuter. They were covered in pink and green flowers and had a pretty pink waistband. These had too ugly blue stripes running down the front and clear past her butt. In the end she supposed it didn’t really matter. No matter what they looked like or felt like she did the same thing in both. It didn’t really matter what she tinkled in so long as they kept her from peeing all over the furniture and floor. Bored Tammy sighed. Looking around she didn’t find anything that was stimulating to look at. She of course wasn’t tired, well, not tired enough to take a nap. She had spent a good portion of the morning sleeping. Idly she wondered what time it was. Ten, eleven maybe? But that too didn’t really matter. She didn’t have anywhere to go, and Amy would likely paddle her bottom if she got out of bed. Again she shifted, her bottom crinkling as she did. ‘She could have at least giving me a bottle,’ Tammy pouted. She wasn’t hungry, not really. Her belly had been filled with formula and chocolate milk so far this morning. But at least a bottle would have given her something to occupy herself with. What she wouldn’t give though for some of that bacon Amy had cooked that first night. Her mouth slowly filled with saliva as she thought about the flavor, the crisp texture. Her thumb sucking became louder as more and more saliva built up. On the verge of almost tasting the delicious strips drool trickled out of her mouth and down her cheeks and chin. She hardly noticed, preoccupied with her daydreams. Soft footsteps finally brought her out of her fantasies. Glancing over she saw Amy’s silhouette approach. Stepping up to the side of the crib she unfastened the safety rail. Bending over Amy reached down and slid a finger inside of Tammy’s diaper to check her. Strangely it didn’t feel odd to have Amy put a finger inside her diaper. She didn’t feel the slightest tingle of embracement or her cheeks warm. No, not when it came to Amy. Removing the finger Amy lovingly patted her diaper. Slipping her thumb out of her mouth Tammy said, “See mommy, I’m dry, I’m a good girl.’ Amy chuckled quietly. “Silly girl, you’re an angel even when you’re wet. Tammy held her arms out, wiggling excitedly when Amy pulled her up into a hug. Tammy giggled as she felt herself being showered with kisses. “Sweetie, this is my sister’s house, your Aunt Julie. It is important to me that she gets to know you.” She pulled back at this. Tammy looked up her, confused. “Sweetie I love you, with all my heart. You’re MY daughter.” She emphasized the ‘my’, sounding fierce as she said it. Tammy took a deep breath, her heart fluttering. “I love you more than anything in the world. Your mine as assuredly as if I’d giving birth to you myself, I want you to know that.” “Mommy,” Tammy said her voice teary but lacking the childish quality she had adopted over the past few days. “I love you! I love you!” “Hush baby, mommy knows.” Tammy pushed herself up to her knees her arms curling into her chest as she snuggled into Amy’s arms. “Mommy, I’m sorry for pouting,” she began again, her voice regaining some of the child’s innocence. Amy just rubbed her back and patted her bottom. “I know baby. Mommy’s not mad at you. Now I am going to leave you here with your Aunt Julie for a little while. I want her to get to know you, to see how sweet you are. Will you be good for mommy?” Tammy snuggled deeper into Amy’s arms, nodding gently against her chest. “Good girl.” Amy released her, and with a sigh, Tammy sat back down on her bottom, her legs spread out in front of her. Looking up at her mommy she timidly asked, “Mommy, can I have a bottle?” Even in her own ears she sounded like a toddler. “Aunt Julie will feed you when it’s time sweetie.” Disappointed Tammy nodded. Amy must have seen her pacifier on the floor because she reached down and grabbed it. Wiping it off on her shirt Amy popped it in Tammy’s mouth. It wasn’t a bottle, but it was better than her thumb. With that Amy walked out of the room. After a few minutes Tammy sniffled. Her heart was still fluttering in her chest. Her mommy’s words echoed from her memory across her mind. ‘Sweetie I love you, with all my heart. You’re MY daughter. I love you more than anything in the world. Your mine as assuredly as if I’d giving birth to you myself, I want you to know that.’ She laid back, her knees bending and legs spreading. ‘You’re MY daughter.’ She had said it with such vehemence. ‘You’re mine…’ With those thoughts in her head she fell asleep. Chapter Nine Julie swirled her wine as her mind drifted. She had been ill prepared for her sister’s visit, that girl, Tammy, vexed her. Her eyes told her a story that her mind refused to believe. Was the girl playing some kind of sick game? Why would a grown woman act that way? A thought occurred, a thought which only served to stoke the flames of her simmering anger. Did the girl know, could she? It seemed inconceivable, but it explained so much. Amy, like herself, didn’t like to talk about the legacy their father had left them; talking about it too often led to a painful conversation about his death, his murder. But his investments had secured both his daughter’s futures, and eventually, would secure his grandchildren’s. Julie set her glass down, drumming her fingers on the coffee table, irritated. Could that really be it? She supposed that someone with enough motivation could learn more with a little research than a careless comment intended. It was possible the girl had figured out that by exploiting Amy’s caring and trusting nature she might be able to maneuver herself into a position she might think would payoff. All of the investments and annuities were tied into their family Trust, but it was unlikely that Tammy would know that. She wouldn’t know that in order to cash any bonds, annuities or investments it required both her and her sister’s signatures, or in the case of an untimely death, their appointed successor. Standing she kicked a foot stool. “Oww! Son of a bitch!” Limping Julie winced at the throbbing in her foot. “That little ****,” she angrily mused. Storming into the kitchen Julie swung the refrigerator door open, a baleful smile etching its way across her features. **** Julie gave Tammy a rough pat to her diaper, the girl’s groan showing it had worked to draw her from sleep. She watched the girl’s eyes slowly roll open. Even in her sleep the girl had been gently sucking her pacifier, left hand resting on her lower stomach and her right curled onto her chest. The sound of Tammy’s diaper crinkled loudly as the girl moved her butt across the crib’s mattress. She was too big for the crib, her legs spread wide to accommodate her size. Julie left her hand on the crotch of the girl’s diaper, gently cupping. After sleep faded those green eyes began to show alarm. Julie knew her face held a cruel undertone, but she didn’t care. By nature she wasn’t a vicious person, but threaten her family and she could be as ruthless as any lioness loosed on the high plains. “Do you like this,” she asked, her voice filled with frost. “Do you enjoy lying here in my daughter’s crib, sucking on that binky like a good little girl?” Her voice had moved from frost to deep frozen ice. The alarm in Tammy’s eyes seemed to shift, was that fear she saw? Good, she would shake the truth out of her if she had to. “Answer me,” she snapped in a near yell. “Do you like crawling around in your Pampers? Is that what you want?” The anger has no longer simmering, it was an outright forest fire, raging and consuming. It seared away other emotions. How dare this girl toy with her sister! When Amy discovered the truth she would be crushed, devastated for months, maybe even years. Julie could tell Amy had vested all her love, all her desire for a child of her own into this girl. A tear rolled down the girl’s face as she nodded. Julie wasn’t buying it. Reaching out she roughly pulled the pacifier out of Tammy’s mouth, holding the bottle up where she could she see it. “This is breast milk,” she began, her tone now magma cooled into stone. As understanding crossed Tammy’s face Julie pushed the nipple into her mouth. She was about to command the girl to drink, but as soon as the nipple touched her lips she began to nurse hungrily. This gave Julie pause. The girl didn’t seem to be doing it to placate her. More tears were rolling down her face. It was as if her body was simply responding to the bottle of milk, irregardless of the situation. Without warning she felt her hand grow warm. She would feel Tammy wetting herself. “That’s right, tinkle for me.” She had planned this part, intended it to be the spark that triggered the girl to show her true self. Even though she still expected Tammy to erupt into an anger outburst, Julie herself sure as hell would have, her voice had lost some of its heat. Those eyes, so afraid, almost innocent, were very disarming. Was that part of her ploy? And then the girl erupted into an uncontrollable sob. She spit milk all over herself, half choking on what remained in her mouth. She continued to wet, Julie could feel it spreading across her diaper, even as her body began to shake violently, racked by sobs. The ice in her chest shattered. It was instinct that drove her over then, maternal instincts overriding her suspicions and reasoning. She no longer saw a plotting woman, seeking a quick payday irregardless of what destruction it wrought in her sister’s life. No, she saw a frightened child. Before she knew what she was doing she had Tammy lifted out of the crib, pacing through the nursery, gently bouncing her on her hip. She was heavier than Sammy, closer to Stephanie’s weight, but Julie had years of experience holding children on her hip for long periods of time. “Hush honey, I’m sorry, it’s ok now. Hush.” It took nearly five minutes, Julie softly bouncing and repeating the same thing over and over before Tammy began to calm. In a hoarse voice Tammy finally whispered, “I’m sorry for being bad.” Julie felt her heart choke. She knew an insincere apology when she heard one and that one was heartfelt. With a sigh she gave a quite, “Well I suppose you’re what you appear to be.” Tammy began to apologize again but Julie quickly cut her off. “It wasn’t you’re fault. Come on, lets get you cleaned up and the two of us will have some girl time.” Tammy sniffled, and then laid her head on Julie’s shoulder. The girl was still breathing heavily when Julie laid her down onto the changing table. She seemed calmer now, but there was an odd dazed look in the girl’s green eyes. That cut her, the look of those eyes, frightened and red from crying. The poor thing looked pathetic, half drowned in milk, her hair matted to the side of her face as it dried. Moving to the crib Julie retrieved the bottle of milk, returning to stand over the girl. In a more gentle tone she said, “This milk really is good for you sweetie and it is already past noon.” Caressing her arm she put the bottle to Tammy’s mouth. Again the girl began to hungrily nurse, her hands wrapping around the plastic length of the bottle. Turning to the task at hand Julie went about cleaning the girl. It only took a few moments to complete the work. Julie had been through one girl from diapers to panties and was currently working on a second. She was experienced in the unpleasant duty and so quickly had Tammy secured into a dry swim diaper, bright red with a picture of Ariel on the front. “Come on now, down you go.” After setting Tammy on her feet she continued, “Now, come with me.’ In a few strides Julie was in the hallway, shooting a glance over her shoulder to make sure Tammy was following. The girl was taking tiny steps, only inching forward really, still clinging to her bottle though she wasn’t nursing as vigorously now. It was alarming how like Sammy she appeared. Sighing Julie walked back into the nursery and took her by the hand. With the girl now in tow Julie made her way into the bathroom shared by her daughters. Julie led Tammy to the toilet, and looking down asked, “Do you have to go number two?” When Tammy only shrugged shyly Julie pulled her swim diaper to her knees and sat her down. Julie watched as Tammy sat there finishing off the last of her bottle. Seeing it almost empty she reached out and took it, setting it on the bathroom counter. Tammy gave a whine when the bottle was pulled away despite there being only a few drops left. “Greedy girl, it’s empty.” The girl blushed and looked away before quietly speaking. “I know, but it was really good, almost sweet. Mommy feeds me formula; I know it is good for me but it tastes terrible and makes me feel bloated.” Pushing a lock of the girl’s hair back behind her ear Julie found herself slowly warming to the child. ‘We’ll see,’ as all she allowed herself to think. In response she said, “Well formula is no substitute for the real thing. Do you need to go?” With a blush Tammy replied, “I honestly don’t know. Even before, when I had to go it came on quickly. Now…” She glanced at the bottle before continuing, “I don’t even feel it when I go…” She glanced down for answer. “Ok…I would guess your change in diet hasn’t helped.” When Tammy blushed even brighter Julie added, “Why so shy…do you blush this much for Amy?” When she shook her head Julie nodded to her self before lifting Tammy to her feet. Pulling her diaper back into place Julie helped her brush her teeth before washing her hair. That of course rewarded her with a grateful sigh from Tammy. She might be in diapers but she was definitely still a girl. With Tammy’s hair now conditioned to a soft sheen Julie again took her by the hand and led her out into the backyard. Julie felt herself smile at the look of apprehension on the girls face when the pool came into sight. Her smile widened even further as the girl squealed in surprise when she lifted her, then melted into a blissful moan as she was lowered into the hot tub. As if half asleep she sunk into the water. Chapter Ten It was very strange wearing a diaper soaking in the hot tub as she was. Hot, bubbling water caressed every inch of her flesh, except her bottom and privates. Beneath her diaper her skin was snuggled in warm, soft dry padding. And the water, oh the water…it was so hot. It penetrated into her flesh, relaxing every muscle in her body. It was heaven, pure unadulterated bliss. She heard Julie walk back out onto the patio, her sandals flopping with each step. Behind her she heard a chair being dragged across the cement floor. An arm reached over her head, holding out a sippy cup with a yellow lid and covered in blue butterflies. “Its juice, I think you’ll like it.” Grateful, but unable to speak, Tammy gave a lazy nod of thanks before taking the cup. When she took a sip she spun around. “This is just like the juice mommy gave me my first night.” Julie gave a soft laugh. “You like it?” “Yes, it’s delicious. What is it?” “My grandmother’s recipe…nothing but fresh fruit. She made it for my mother when she was a girl, and my mother made it for me and Amy when we were little.” Tammy turned back around, thinking that over. Settling back she let the water lap over her shoulders. Lifting the sippy cup to her mouth she took another drink, enjoying the juice even more now that she knew its origin. She heard Julie take a deep breath, her voice gentle but serious as she began speaking. “Tammy, I believe I owe you an explanation.” Turning she lifted an eyebrow, feeling a bit confused. “For what?” She blushed then, realizing Julie must mean for the punishment. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have misbehaved.” Inwardly she admitted she had no idea how she had misbehaved. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was furious at you, but not because of anything you did.” Julie hesitated as she took another deep breath. “After our mother passed Amy always took care of me. It’s in her nature to care for others. And when I saw you I thought you must be exploiting that kindness, trying to take advantage of her.” Tammy lifted up slightly out of the tub and opened her mouth to assure Julie she intended nothing of the sort. But before she spoke Julie hushed her with a raised hand, so Tammy sank back down listening. “I can tell Amy really cares for you and the last thing I wanted to see happen was her get hurt. So I planned to confront you, humiliate you so that you would show yourself and prove me right.” Tammy found herself blinking at this. She had indeed felt humiliated. She still felt embarrassed about the way she had burst into tears. Before her thoughts could follow too far down that path Julie continued. “But now I think I might have been wrong about you, so…so now I want to get to know you.” With that Julie became quite, her blue eyes watching her. Those eyes were so similar to Amy’s, similar but somehow so different. They seemed sharper, almost more aware. Kind of like a hawk, in fact, almost beady, waiting to pounce. Swallowing Tammy squeaked, “What would you like to know?” Without so much as a shift in her gaze Julie replied in an even toned, “Tell me about your mother.” Taking a gulp of her juice Tammy poured out her soul. She began with her earliest, and strongest, memory from childhood. She was six years old and her father had just walked out on them. Her mother had been crying in the living room. She described how she had felt when she had approached her mother and seen the cold expression. Tammy described how her mother had said it was her fault her father had left, that he had been sick of having a baby around the house. Her tone lost its childlike innocence as she related the repeating cycle her life became after that. The disinterest her mother showed whenever she was alone. Then the short lived happiness after her mother remarried, her life becoming almost normal. That of course didn’t last. Inevitably her mother would sabotage the relationship. As things in her marriage got tougher, Tammy would be sent away to summer camps, or when they were still alive, to her grandparents. Her tone became a bit sad as she related the times with her grandparents. Those few years had been the best of her life. At their country home she had learned to ride a horse and to swim. Her grandfather had stayed up late with her and told her old stories from his youth, her grandmother always ready with hot chocolate, a blanket and a lap. Summer camp…summer camp had been only been a nightmare of humiliation and torment. Tammy described the horror of being ten and sent to camp, the only girl with a pack of diapers in her bag instead of panties. And worse, when she came home her mother’s husband gone, the blame heaped solely onto her shoulders. At thirteen things finally got better. Her mother married her fourth husband, a reserved man, and she began to have a semblance of a normal life. Her mother became more aloof with her, but the rollercoaster ride was mercifully over. When everything was said, and Tammy finally trailed off, the wall clock read nearly 1:30. She had been speaking for more than forty-five minutes and her throat felt parched. Hands shaking, she picked up the sippy cup, grimacing when she realized it was empty. After a long pause Julie finally said, “I...see. I…I think I understand you now, at least a part of you.” Tammy looked up as she felt a hand caress her cheek. She was surprised when a tender finger brushed away a tear. The hands then rolled, and soon Tammy found her face cupped in Julie’s hands. “Last question,” Julie said kindly, but firm. “How do you feel about my sister, Amy?” Tammy didn’t hesitate. Though her voice has hoarse she replied firmly, “She is MY mommy and I love her, more than anything.” When those blue eyes of Julie’s glinted with a hint of questioning, Tammy stared back definite. She felt her own eyes become tiny chips of stone, unyielding beneath that stare. Then suddenly, the look faded and Julie’s eyes were soft blue pools of compassion. “That’s good sweetie.” Holding Tammy’s face Julie bent down and kissed her forehead. **** After her long soak it felt great to be back in clothes. The water and her talk with Julie had been therapeutic, but the feeling of clean cotton on her skin made her giddy. She bounced on the couch, her bottom crinkling. After she had spilled her heart and been questioned Julie had begun to open up to her. The two of them had spent the next hour laughing as Julie recounted stories of growing up. After two glasses of wine, well Tammy had been given juice, Julie had finally lifted her out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel. In fact Tammy had enjoyed herself so much she had been surprised her diaper was wet when Julie changed her. But that didn’t matter now. Julie had put her into a dry diaper then found her a comfy dress to wear. Well, it was kind of a dress. Tammy wasn’t really quite sure what you would call it. The dress was yellow with a white, blue and pink teddy bear print. It had short sleeves with a bit of white lace. The back though was completely split open, only a strip of fabric a few inches wide at the neck holding the two halves together. As a result her back, including her diapered bottom, was fully exposed. But then again even if the dress hadn’t been split her diaper would still have been on display, the bottom hem only falling down to her belly button. Tammy heard a chuckle behind her, near the kitchen. Julie’s voice broke in asking, “Do you like the dress dear?” Tammy nodded, with a smile adding, “Yes, thank you. I didn’t realize how nice clothes can be.” Julie raised an eye brow before nodding her agreement. “So what do you plan to do now Tammy? How long do you plan to live like this?” This gave Tammy pause. She stopped bouncing and frowned at Julie. “What do you mean?” “I mean, how long do you plan to stay like this,” she gestured at Tammy for emphasis. “Amy mentioned you were going to school to be a veterinarian. Are you going to give that up just so you can wear Pampers again?” The mention of her pursuit, her dream of becoming a veterinarian brought back some of the fire she’d felt the night her mother had told her she was cut off, the night she’d told her she was pursing what she wanted. It was no surprise she felt that way, she’d completely let her guard down with Julie when her mommy, Amy, had told her how much she wanted them to get to know each other. That in it self had been a big reason the attempt at humiliation had elicited such a strong response. “I’m not giving anything up.” Her tone was a sharp contrast to the attire she wore. “And I don’t enjoy wearing Pampers…I need them,” that admission made her blush but she pressed on, her voice only slightly wavering. “But I don’t like them. It’s mommy…Amy…the way she looks at me, the way she holds me.” Her voice softened as a smile inched its way across her face. “I guess I like being babied…And wait…how does she know about that?” Her smile slipped into confusion. “I assume you told her.” “No…” Tammy began, thinking it over. “No, I never mentioned it on the way home…” Her eyes drifted as she thought, not noticing referring to Amy’s house as home. Slowly a memory began to surface. “That was more than a year ago, and we had worked like eighteen hours or more before.” Julie smiled and shrugged as she took a seat on the far side of the couch. She had a glass in her hand, tea maybe. “Well, you say you’re not giving it up. Do you plan to ask Amy to take you to classes and change you between?” The amused smile on her face disarmed Tammy and she blushed. “No.” Her diaper crinkled loudly as she pulled her knees up under herself. She had no idea how to answer Julie’s questions. She bit her lip until the answer, obvious as it was, occurred to her. With a triumphant smile she replied, “Mommy will tell me what to do.” When Julie sighed Tammy furrowed her brow. “I just want to stay with her. When I’m ready she will potty train me…and maybe one day decide I’m ready become an adult. Till…” Her cheeks burned hot at the thought of the admission she was about to make. “Till then, I prefer she make my decisions.” “And what of your diapers; if she babies you people will see. What then? I know it embarrasses you…your face is nearly on fire with just me here and I’m family.” Tammy was about to reply of course it embarrassed her…hell she had been mortified this morning and she could not imagine ever getting over that. But that word…family…it derailed her line of thinking like the Dutchman's Curve. “Well,” Julie pressed. Tammy shook her head slightly, just enough to clear her thoughts. “Family,” she asked softy. Julie gave one of her sighs, before shrugging and replying, “Well, yes, I suppose. If you’re going to be my niece then I would think that would make us family.” Without asking for permission Tammy crawled across the couch and curled up into Julie’s lap. **** Needless to say Julie was more than surprised when Tammy, without warning, crawled across the couch into her lap. She didn’t have the heart to rebuke her as the girl snuggled into her lap. Sticking her thumb in her mouth and laying her head on one of Julie’s breast the girl closed her eyes. Helpless, Julie just wrapped her arms around the girl. As she watched her new niece drift closer and closer to dreamland she found herself ideally stroking her hair. As she had with Stephanie and as she did with Sammy, Julie gently caressed her nails across Tammy’s back, drawing mindless patterns. ‘Well, maybe she is a bit cute…and sweet.’ The thought came grudgingly, but it came. The entire affair still baffled her, but she thought at least she understood now. She could tell by the way Tammy had related her story that she had never truly seen how fucked up her childhood had been. A child, mocked by the world and ignored, or sometimes even worse, blamed by her mother, left to deal with a problem that was completely out of her control. The more Julie watched her, the more her mind processed what she had been told; she began to realize she was starting to feel fondly towards her. It was nearly an hour before she finally reached for the remote and by that time, she was actually starting to see Tammy as her niece. Not long after a knock finally came at the door. Unable to answer and almost certain it was her sister; she waited for Amy to let herself in. When she did, Amy’s face lit up brightly. Julie shot her back a glare, though she did continue to softly stroke her new niece’s head. For quite some time the two of them sat on the couch and quietly spoke even as the young Tammy sat curled in her lap, quietly sucking her thumb fast asleep.

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starman

Posted June 19th, 2011 ~ 10:50 am

i get a headache from trying to read this story, as it is just 1 long tangled mess.there is no spacing or new paragraph als it goes from intro to ch 1,straight away.

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lil cassie

Posted June 19th, 2011 ~ 12:45 pm

Sorry, sleepytink, but I have to agree with starman. It may be a great story, but the fact that it has no breaks, and is one long paragraph is a bit overwhelming to the eye. I will be happy to read it if you will re-edit it with the proper breaks and paragraphs. Usually, any story with a female protagonist has my undivided attention, so it is frustrating on my part to not be able to read your story comfortably.

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OldJoe

Posted June 19th, 2011 ~ 3:01 pm

I downloaded it and edited it in 'Word', putting in breaks where I thought necessary. It was quite a bit of work, but it is a lovely story and worth the effort.

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lil cassie

Posted June 22nd, 2011 ~ 12:16 am

Well, it took me a couple of days to read it. And it is a well-told story! There are few typos here and there, and it very much needs to be broken up into paragraphs and such, but it is an interesting enough that I would like to read more.

I do wonder, though, on a purely objectively level if some of the material needs to be edited some. There are a couple of scenes where you repeat almost verbatim what happenedin an earlier scene. Like when Amy tells Julie about how she and Tammy got together. And when we see Julie's viewpoint of Amy taking care of Tammy, and then Tammy's viewpoint of Amy taking care of her. While the second instance is a clever device for showing Tammy and Amy's viewpoints and personalities, it tends to slow things down. Especially with both instances of repetition so close together.

If it were me, I think I would shorten Amy's telling Julie with a simple "Then Amy laid it all how for Julia on how she met Tammy all way up to why she's sitting asleep in her car in diapers. All through the story, Julie went through a mixture of emotions and facial expressions, etc. etc. etc."

This not meant to discourage. Afterall, I did read it. And besides, I am such a sucker for lovely young ladies wearing nothing but wet, messy diapers. Keep up the good work.

luvs,
lil cassie

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Princess Pottypants

Posted June 22nd, 2011 ~ 9:08 pm

Cute story. I love the idea of Tammy being forced to admit she isn't properly potty trained, and that turning a colleague into a mommy, and a grown woman into a toddler. I also like the idea that it's the babying she really likes, but not the diapers. And I thought the line "Girls can’t just wet themselves at the dinner table like that and not expect to have to wear Pampers,” was fun. It was a neat idea to show the same scene from both Julie and Tammy's perspective (the change/aftermath), though there may have been a little too much overlap between the two versions.

But as everyone else has said, the formatting makes it very difficult to read. I'm going to post the version I made as I was reading with paragraphs and all... It's not perfect, of course, since I'm not the author, but it's much easier to read. If the author doesn't like it, I'll be more than willing to delete it, I just thought it would help people actually be able to read this story.

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Princess Pottypants

Posted June 22nd, 2011 ~ 9:09 pm

This story, in its entirety, is a work of fiction. It can be shared via any media type so long as it is provided unaltered (in regards to content) and free of charge. My intention in writing this story is to write a single novel, Vicissitude, broken into three separate novellas. Each novella is a unique story arc within the whole. The story as a whole revolves around a central, cohesive theme, tying the three novellas together. It is my hope that once completed; readers will find that each novella is in itself a compelling read, while adding to the overall growth of the characters throughout the story. This first post includes the first novella, Coming to Terms, in its entirety. I am actively writing Part Two (not going to give away the title just yet) but it is a lengthy process. Including the editing process and re-writes, it took me several weeks to complete Part One. I hope to post the next installment by mid-July but who knows with writing. I typically have numerous projects active and dislike to rush things. I truly hope you enjoy this work of fiction, and please, leave comments so I know what you think. And of course, thank you for reading.

Part One: Coming to Terms

Chapter One

Tammy chewed on her lower lip pensively, her eyes glued to the television set affixed to the far office wall. A reporter in a blue weather slicker stood along the banks of Lake Sherman as he delivered his dire report. “…with river and lake levels continuing to rise authorities fear current drainage efforts will be insufficient to stay ahead of the crisis.”

“Just terrible,” Mrs. Jefferson said as she leaned against the receptionist counter. She turned her head to face Tammy and continued, “I heard on the radio this morning that some county officials believe the levees near Water’s Edge won’t be able to hold up if the lake keeps on like it is. Too much water coming in from upstream you know…” She paused to turn and listen to the television for a moment.

“Mayor Patterson’s office has released a statement to address public concerns, stating that all possible measures are being taken to ensure the public’s safety.”

Mrs. Jefferson gave a snort of derision before continuing as if she had never stopped speaking. “And just not enough water can be sent downstream.” Tammy of course knew this; she had grownup in Silver Falls. She might not be a civil engineer or anything like that, but she understood basic physics principles. If more water flowed into Lake Sherman than could be released over the spillway or through the canal, then the water levels would inevitable rise. And when you take a record shattering rainy season and combine it with melting snows in the mountains that feed the rivers and tributaries upstream, well the result was simply a continuous torrent of water flowing into the lake.

“Yeah,” Tammy distractedly replied. “I live in Water’s Edge…well a few blocks south, just before Porter Ave.”

“Oh dear.”

Tammy nodded. Water’s Edge, an upper-middle class neighborhood built along the eastern shore of Lake Sherman, had been the topic of conversation on the evening news and radio for several weeks now. Supposed experts had been claiming for sometime that the neighborhood would flood, that the levees would not hold and that officials were not treating the matter as seriously as the situation warranted. Her own apartment, as she had pointed out to Mrs. Jefferson, was just a few blocks south of Water’s Edge. She wasn’t’ sure, but something told her that if the levees did in fact break her own neighborhood would be flooded as well.

The ringing door chimes broke her out of her contemplations. Looking up she smiled at the gentleman who had entered. His attire, fine gray slacks and a vest over a white dress shirt and silver tie, was pressed smooth and gave an elegant first impression. As he turned towards the reception counter Tammy frowned a bit. His handsome face was marred by a grimace. Placing the pet carrier in his right hand on the counter he looked up at Tammy. Tammy felt her heart nearly skip a beat. His eyes wear gorgeous, a deep brown like tiny swirls of chocolate.

“How can I help you sir?” She felt a smile automatically cross her face as she spoke, it only partially the result of professional decorum.

“It’s my wife’s dog; he was vomiting blood earlier today.” Her smile slipped just a bit as her eyes glanced over his left hand. Sure enough, a golden wedding band encircled his ring finger.

Looking back up at him Tammy replied, “Well I am sure we can get to the bottom of this.” With a silent sigh she reaffixed her smile, hoping it was reassuring.

“Well, I must get going. Please let Dr. Keller know I will swing back by tomorrow for Miss Prissy.” Tammy looked up at the departing Mrs. Jefferson, the woman’s heels clinking on the tile with each step.

“Have a great day; we’ll take great care of Miss Prissy.”

Mrs. Jefferson glanced back and gave a small smile. “I know dear.” With that she slipped out the front door.

“Ok now, let me see. What is the animal’s name?” Tammy turned her attention to her PC.

“Scotty…he’s a Scottish Terrier.” The gentleman gave her what she could only assume was an embarrassed smile for the prosaic name. “And no, this is my…his first visit here.”

“Not a problem.” She grabbed a clipboard and a small stack of forms. “If you will please sign this Authorization of Treatment form I can take Scotty back to see Dr. Keller.” Once completed Tammy took the form and quickly scanned it over. “Ok…Mr. Rison, if you can finish filling out the rest of these forms…and here if you have VPI or PetBest Pet Insurance please include your insurance information.”

Mr. Rison, John, looked up from the stack of paperwork. “Pet insurance? You’re serious?”

“Oh yes sir, many of our clients carry insurance to protect their pets. Now,” Tammy continued, picking up the pet carrier and looking inside. Scotty gave a pathetic whimper. “Let’s see if we can do something to get you feeling better.” With a departing smile for Mr. Rison Tammy carried the pet carrier into one of the back examination offices.

****

With a click the front door locked tightly shut. Tammy let out an exhausted sigh. After Mrs. Jefferson and Mr. Rison this morning, a frantic Sue Miller had brought in her German Sheppard Rusty claiming the animal was suffering from severe panic attacks. And if that was not enough for a single day, a local elementary school teacher had brought in her classroom’s pet hamster, a hamster that some bratty fourth grader had fed red crayons too. Oh yes, and who can forget the python that swallowed a gerbil and was slowly choking to death.

The sweet scent of perfume and the soft padding of tennis shoes singled Dr. Keller walked into the waiting room. Her blonde hair had been neatly pulled back at the beginning of the day, but now several strands and curls hung loose about her face. With a discrete eye Tammy watched the woman cross the room. Grabbing the can of fish food she sprinkled a dash of flakes into a tank full of fish eagerly waiting their evening feeding.

‘It’s not fair,’ Tammy thought, only slightly bitter. The woman seemed to have it all. She was highly sought out for her natural talents and abilities with treating animals, her marriage seemed to be a thing out of a romance novel and, well, she was simply stunning. Even wearing a wrinkled white lab coat with shed fur here and there, her hourglass figure was hard to miss. A perfect little face, round, firm breasts, killer hips and a great ass attached to what Tammy could only imagine were sexy legs.

Herself, well, Tammy knew she was cute; but she would never be considered sexy. In contrast to Dr. Keller who stood 5’9”, Tammy was 4’8”. And rather than full, round breast, Tammy was…well, not as generously endowed. Without help from padded bras, her natural breasts gave only the slightest curve to her chest. And her ass…well her ass was not much better. To own disgust her panties typically hung a bit loose in the bottom. In general she had always been smaller than girls her own age. For the thousandth time today Tammy sighed. What could she do? It was beyond her control. Born prematurely, there simply were some things in life that she had no choice but to deal with, preferably with as much dignity as possible.

“So I hear that the Army Corps of Engineers has completed their inspections of the levees surrounding Lake Sherman.”

“Oh…I was so busy this evening I did not have a chance to keep up with the news. What did they say?”

Dr. Keller replaced the lid to the can of fish food, and setting it down, turned to face Tammy. “Not good I’m afraid.”

Her troubled frown made Tammy pause. “Really, that bad?”

“Well, they have issued a mandatory evacuation for Water’s Edge and recommended the surrounding areas evacuate as well.” Her sharp hazel eyes watched Tammy closely.

After a moment of thought Tammy replied, “I see.”

“Please, come and stay with me. My husband and I have talked it over and we are worried about you. If Water’s Edge floods your neighborhood is bound to flood as well and…”

“Thank you,” Tammy quickly interrupted, “that is too kind. But if it comes to that my mom said I could say with her.” She was lying of course, her parents lived half way across the country not to mention she would rather go homeless before crawling back there, but the idea of sleeping at her boss’s house was horrifying.

Dr. Keller frowned. “Well ok, but if you need anything please let me know.”

Tammy began to turn to head towards the back before hesitating. “Dr. Keller, what about the clinic? If the levees fail are they expecting the water levels to reach this far?”

“Well we are still a bit above the current water levels I think, and if the levees do break there will be more area to accommodate the rising waters so it is hard to say. All I have heard so far is that only the neighborhoods around the lake are in immediate danger. But I’m glad you brought that up. If it does come down to that we will be moving any animals still here at the clinic to the Northern Plains Animal Clinic. Animal Control has announced they will be helping if needed to move animals outside the flood zones.”

Tammy nodded. Dr. Keller walked over to the light panel and flicked off the external lights and signs. “And don’t worry. If we are flooded out the insurance plan we participate in includes an employee protection clause. You will still get paid, well, at least for eight weeks. After that either we will be open again or have some kind of aid.”

Again Tammy nodded. “Ok,” was all she could manage. “Well I’m gonna head home.”

“Ok, have a good evening.”

“You too, Dr. Keller.” With that Tammy retreated to the rear employee entrance and her waiting car. The drive home was rather uneventful after the day she’d had. The radio predicted doom and gloom, serving only to depress her so she turned it off. After a fifteen minute drive, Tammy found herself pulling into her apartment complex. Parking, she walked up the path to her front door. With her door locked behind her Tammy kicked off her high-heels, instantly shrinking several inches. Without paying much attention she flipped on the TV for background noise as she opened a can of soup.

Three minutes later found her falling into her couch, a cup of soup cradled in her hands and a glass of ice water sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She wrinkled her nose in distaste as an episode of CSI: Miami came on. Not a bad show, all in all, but she was not quite in the mood for murder investigations. After a few minutes of surfing she settled on an old episode of Scrubs. ‘Much better,’ she thought, allowing her mind to be drawn into the program. This became easier as she slowly ate she soup, the warm broth seeming to push aside the troubles she had been feeling. As the episode wrapped up, Tammy set the now empty cup of soup on her coffee table. As another episode of Scrubs came on she found her eyelids becoming heavier and heavier.

****

Somewhere in a distant corner of her mind she heard someone yell, “Eagle!” Through a fog of sleep she pondered that. ‘Yes, Scrubs, that’s what I was watching.’ Her mind slipped further from the fog, drifting ever closer to consciousness. As if icy water had been thrown across her face, her eyes snapped open. “Shit!” Her hand shot down to her crotch. Her slacks were slightly wet, but not too bad. In an instant she was on her feet and rushing through her apartment. She could feel the pressure in her bladder quickly building. Her hand gripped the handle to the bathroom door when she felt the dampness in her panties become wetness that spread from her crotch to her bottom. She could not stop it. She swung open the bathroom door and raced to the toilet. It was no longer a question of wetting her pants, that was good and settled at this point, but she did not want to pee all over her floor. Sitting down she looked away as her bladder, unbidden, emptied itself. The wetness in her panties continued to spread, soaking through until her slacks became a dripping mess. Tears slowly trickled down her cheeks even after the flow of urine stopped. Sitting there, Tammy quietly cried, unable to muster the resolve to stand up just yet.

After some time, she finally stood. Shaking, she unbuttoned her slacks and let them fall to her feet. Her eyes a bit red from crying she glanced over at the mirror. ‘Pathetic,’ she thought, seeing her reflection. The bottom of her blouse hung just past the waistband of her panties. A soft blue, her panties were wet up half her bottom. Having been loose before she wet them, they now looked several sizes too big for her, the material hanging heavily near her crotch. The logical side of her mind told her it wasn’t her fault; it told her that she was suffering from an underdeveloped bladder and muscular control. She had simply been tired and allowed herself to fall asleep on her couch without emptying her bladder first. But despite all of that, she still felt like a child. She had wet her panties, only a short distance from her bathroom.

With a sigh of disgust she slipped off the wet garment. Then, with two fingers she picked up her slacks and panties and dropped them into the sink. Opening a cabinet, she pulled out a box of baby wipes and proceeded to clean herself off. The process was aided by her smooth groin. Tammy had long ago learned that hair made accidents like this much worse, leading to embarrassing and uncomfortable rashes and odors. Tossing the wipe into her trash bin, she headed into her room. After a moment of digging through her dresser she pulled out a white pair of cotton panties. As her bottom landed on the edge of her bed Tammy could just make out the slight crinkle of her plastic sheets beneath her softer linen ones.

This of course was the reason she had refused Dr. Keller’s kind offer, why she had lied. She did not like lying, but she did not want to even contemplate how she would explain a wet bed to Dr. Keller. Not that she always wet her bed, not really. If she was careful, emptied her bladder before going to sleep, she could go more than half the days of the week without wetting. ‘And bedwetting isn’t really the right term anyways,’ she told herself. True, that was often a side effect, but it wasn’t like she slept through wetting the bed. She always woke up. Only she had very limited muscle control. Her daytime accidents were not nearly as bad as her nighttime ones, though they were perhaps as frequent. In the day she usually had time to make it to the bathroom, typically only dampening her panties. But at night, she would sometimes wake up on the cusp of wetting, just enough time to sit up before it happened. Grabbing a shirt Tammy unfastened her bra and tossed it into the hamper. Slipping the t-shirt on Tammy climbed into bed.

Chapter Two

Tammy sat up, eyes wide and heart racing. Instinctively she felt her crotch, but she was mercifully dry and did not feel the urge to pee. ‘Something,’ she thought. ‘Something odd…loud…out of place.’ Then it came again, a loud pounding on her front door. A shout followed but she could not quite make it out. Swinging her legs out of bed, Tammy dashed to her closet and grabbed the closest thing she had to a weapon, an old tennis racket.

As she entered the living room, the pounding came again followed by the shouting. This time she could clearly hear the speaker. “Brown County Sheriff’s Department, please open your door, it is an emergency. We will be forced to break open your door if you do not comply.” Not even pausing to think it could perhaps be a rouse, Tammy dropped the racket and rushed across the living room. Turning the deadbolt, she swung the door open.

A rather large pillar of a man stood on her porch, his right hand resting casually on his sidearm. What Tammy guessed was his partner, a mannish looking female officer, was standing a bit back on the path speaking on the radio. “Sorry to disturb you ma’am but this neighborhood is subject to a mandatory evacuation order. Vehicles from the National Guard are standing by in the north parking lot to transport you and anyone else in your home to a shelter. Please do not bring more than one bag per person and head to the north parking lot.” He gestured the direction as he spoke.

“Did the levee break,” Tammy asked, the severity of the situation serving as well as the stoutest cup of coffee to wash the sleep from her mind.

“Not yet ma’am, but inspectors believe that the levees will break sometime this morning. The current water levels are sufficient enough to reach this area.” Tammy nodded, her mind digesting the news. “Please move quickly ma’am. We would like to have this complex evacuated within a half hour.”

“Of course, thank you.” The officer nodded, then rejoined his partner and moved down the path. Across the lawn Tammy could see a dozen or more officers moving among the other buildings, no doubt delivering similar messages to residents.

‘Son of a bitch,’ Tammy thought as she shut her door. As she walked into her bathroom to take a quick shower she glanced at the mirror. She cheeks instantly began to burn hot as she realized she had answered the door in just her t-shirt and panties, panties which were clearly visible beneath the shirt. ‘Idiot!’ The thought came unbidden. Pushing aside her embarrassment Tammy quickly undressed and stepped into the shower.

****

Stuffing her work clothes into her bag, Tammy zipped up the gym bag. She didn’t have a proper suitcase, so the gym bag would simply have to do. Walking into the living room she set her bag down then headed back into the bathroom. Not sure how long it would be before she reached this shelter, wherever it was, Tammy pulled her shorts and panties down, taking a seat on the toilet. It only took a bit of effort to begin emptying her bladder. Finishing she pulled her clothing back on and turned towards her sink. Her wet panties were still there, causing her to pause a moment. She didn’t think it likely she’d have a daytime accident, but still. Opening her cabinet she grabbed a package of maxi pads, pulling out a pink wrapped package. Ripping the package open, Tammy pulled her clothing back down and taped the pad inside of her panties. With a grimace she pulled her clothing back up.
Hurriedly she returned to the living room and grabbed her bag. As she walked out the front door Tammy grabbed her keys. After locking her apartment Tammy made her way to the north parking lot. She was parked there anyways so she figured she just jump into her car and head into work early. It wasn’t even 4 A.M. yet but the alternative of sitting at a shelter all day seemed much less appealing.

Turning onto the main path Tammy soon joined others from her complex, all making there way to the north parking lot. As she arrived, however, her heart sank a bit. Half a dozen busses waited, lined up from end to end across the parking lot. As she got closer she could see her car was blocked in by the third bus, but given the scene that didn’t seem to matter. Straight ahead she could see a man arguing with National Guard troops about leaving in his car. One of the soldiers told the unhappy gentleman that the streets were dangerous, and allowing civilian vehicles on the roads would endanger lives. When a State Trooper and a police officer moved to intercede the man finally relented and moved towards the waiting buses.

‘Great, just fucking great,’ she thought stuffing her keys into a side pouch of her bag. Without verbal complaint Tammy boarded the bus. After a few minutes of residents loading onto the bus the doors finally shut and the bus lurched forward. Tammy laid her head against the window and watched helplessly as the bus slowly pulled out of her neighborhood.

As they passed stop signs and street lights she could see other buses; charter buses, school buses and even city buses assisting in the evacuation. Before long the bus finally turned into a parking lot. Near the street a temporary sign proclaimed the location ‘Emergency Shelter #08’. As the bus turned to park Tammy could see the outlines of an old K-Mart sign, long since removed, on the front of the building.

The next few hours seemed a blur. She waited in line with other “refugees” as volunteer workers moved up and down the lines ensuring everyone was well. Occasionally a worker would take a family with children or the elderly and move them ahead of the rest. At first Tammy thought that a kind thing to do, though as time slowly passed she found herself becoming annoyed with the practice.

Even as the line slowly made its way inside and beyond her line of vision Tammy had a fair idea of what to expect. She had volunteered with the homeless shelter before, and even help provide aid during disasters with Feed the Children. She understood why officials had insisted that residents leave their vehicles behind. If the levees failed while the streets were flooded with vehicles attempting the leave the area the loss of life would be high. She understood, but she still found herself grinding her teeth from time to time. By the time she finally passed through the entry doors the sun was rising above the horizon.

Irritated she tapped her feet and with a slight panic felt the urge to pee hit her. Turning to a middle-aged man standing behind her she asked him to hold her place for a few minutes. His lips twitched ever so slightly as he made a failed effort to smile then simply nodded. Turning she hurried made her way towards the front of the line. By the time she entered the facility the urge was becoming overwhelming. Quickly she asked a worker for directions, and then swiftly made her way towards the women’s restroom.

Before she even entered the restroom she felt a bit of urine escape her bladder. Thankfully the pad absorbed it. Almost frantically Tammy pushed open the stall, jerked her clothing down and sat to relieve herself. With a sigh of relief she pulled up her clothing. When the wet pad pressed against her skin Tammy have a disgusted sigh.

Standing, she readjusted her clothes until she finally found something, though uncomfortable, was at least bearable. As Tammy made her way back towards her place in line a hand gently touched her shoulder and a woman’s voiced asked, “Tammy? Tammy Turlington?” Surprised, Tammy turned to face a woman who had to be in her mid to late thirties. Her face seemed familiar but she just couldn’t place it.

“Yes?”

The woman clearly caught the uncertain tone in Tammy’s voice. With a smile she replied, “I thought that was you. You were a part of the relief effort last year in Southern California during the wild fires. I’m Amy, Amy Watson.”

Hearing the name brought the memory of the woman flooding back to the surface of her mind. Yes she did remember her. She had been her supervisor during that relief effort. A capable and caring woman as she recalled. “Yes, sorry, it has been a stressful morning.”

Amy’s smile faded a bit. “You’re not here as a volunteer?”

“No, unfortunately, this time I am on the other side of the fence.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry Tammy.” She hesitated for a moment, glancing about before continuing after lowering her voice. “Are you staying here at the shelter?” Tammy glanced to her side. Beyond a sea of volunteers and flood victims Tammy could see rows upon rows of cots. With a slight grimace she nodded. “What about your family? Your parents?”

“My parents live in South Carolina and the rest of my family in Florida.”

Amy paused as if thinking for a moment before continuing. “Come stay with me. I live about forty-five minutes from here and I have plenty of room.”

Despite herself Tammy swallowed. She could feel the wet pad between her legs. “Amy, I couldn’t. I…”

“Of course you can,” Amy interrupted. She again lowered her voice, speaking so as not to be overheard. “While this shelter is a great help and much better than sleeping outside, it is a far cry from a soft bed and a quite room to yourself.”

Instantly another objection sprang to Tammy’s tongue. She could work her way out of this if she tried; she had years of practice at avoiding sleeping in other people’s homes. But the sight of the cots, the bright fluorescent lights and noisy crowd, the miserable scene of exhausted people trying to sleep despite the commotion killed her objections before she had a chance to voice them. Without quite realizing what she has saying she heard herself reply, “Well, if you’re sure Amy.”

“Of course I am sure. If you will give me thirty minutes I will be ready to head out."

****

The ride to Amy’s house was surprisingly enjoyable. Amy had always seemed to be a warm, caring person, a fact that compelled her to spend so much of her time volunteering. In California Tammy had only casually gotten to know the woman. At the time the two of them along with thirty of so other volunteers from the Brown County area had worked sixteen hour days, leaving little time for socializing. But even then the woman had seemed like a charming lady.

At thirty-eight, Amy was nearly twenty years older than the twenty year old Tammy. Her hair was brown with a bit of grey. She wasn’t overly tall, though no surprise she was quite a bit taller than Tammy. When she was younger she had probably been quite attractive, though age had faded that beauty now. Her eyes, however, were captivating and inviting; a deep blue reminiscent of the ocean lapping at a sandy shore.

Before Tammy realized it the car pulled into the driveway of a quant house on the outskirts of town. Amy continued to chat away as they walked up the path towards the front door. Tammy, however, found her heart leaping into her throat. “Well, is there anything I can get you,” Amy asked as she walked into the living room. Taking her coat off Amy hung it in a closet before turning her attention back to Tammy.

“No, you have done more than enough,” Tammy replied hastily.

“Nonsense, I am glad to do it. Not many teenagers spend their time helping others and I think it says a lot about your character.” She smiled and gestured towards the kitchen. “Help yourself to anything you like.” She then nodded towards the television. “And of course watch whatever you like. Just make yourself at home.”

Tammy gave a warm smile, hoping her nervousness didn’t show on her face, or at least, was mistaken for weariness. The rouse apparently worked because Amy soon continued, “Your room is right back here.” She turned and headed down the hallway, obviously intending for Tammy to follow. “I live alone and keep this room for when my two nieces visit. Tomorrow I can dig out some nicer sheets and blanket.”

“Oh you don’t have to do that, I’m sure it will be fine.” Amy pushed open the door and flipped on the light. As Tammy stepped inside she stopped, her heart falling from her throat into her stomach. One side of the room was dominated by a bed with some kind of cartoon characters that Tammy didn’t recognize. Next to the bed stood a dresser and clothes hamper. On the opposite side of the room was a crib and changing table. ‘At least the walls are a plain white,’ she thought, though kept the comment to herself. “Thank you very much for doing this. I feel like I’m about to fall over where I stand.”

At that Amy smiled. “I know the feeling. I worked all night at the shelter and my feet are starting to throb. There is a bathroom across the hall. If there is nothing else you need sweetie I’m going to head to bed.”

“No, I’m good, thank you.” With a smile and a nod Amy left Tammy alone in the room. After shutting the door, Tammy assessed her situation. Her bladder felt empty but she still felt uneasy about the entire situation. If she had stayed in the shelter she would have faced the same problem, only in a more uncomfortable environment. But here, if she had an accident she might ruin Amy’s mattress.

Unless…Trembling, she ran her fingers across the mattress. She sighed, no plastic mattress cover. It was worth a shot. The room was obviously intended for younger children. Taking a deep breath Tammy told herself, ‘I can do this. I don’t have to use the bathroom. It will be fine.’

Opening her gym bag she dumped her clothes out onto the bed; a few pairs of panties, bras, some slacks and shirts. ‘Shit. All I grabbed was work clothes.’ Pulling her shirt off Tammy walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. There wasn’t a lot of clothing inside, just a few shirts and some panties, all of which were for a much younger girl. The next drawer had a few pairs of shorts and socks.

When Tammy opened the third drawer she hesitated. This drawer was obviously dedicated to the younger niece. Inside was an opened package of Pampers, a few onesies and a couple of day outfits. The clothing Tammy completely ignored, the Pampers however… Unlike most people her age she could remember what it felt like to wear diapers. Until she was thirteen she had worn diapers nightly. It wasn’t until that point in her young life that she had developed enough muscle control to not wet nightly. While she had continued to wear training panties until she was nearly seventeen, they had been a welcome burden after so many nights in diapers.

And yet she considered it. The pad in her panties still pressed against her skin, though it was dry now. Hesitantly she reached in, a finger touching the package. She slipped her hand in and pulled a diaper out. The diaper had a pink elastic band with green and pink flower designs printed on the front. The back was covered in green polka dots and tiny pink flowers. ‘This would solve the problem,’ she mused to herself.

Slowly she climbed into bed and slipped the covers over herself. Hands still trembling Tammy slipped her panties down and around her ankles. She unfolded the diaper and placed it between her legs. Lifting her hips she slid the diaper under her bottom. As she lowered her hips she felt the padded material press against her bottom. ‘It won’t fit anyways,’ Tammy thought as she folded the diaper up between her legs. The soft padding pressed against her privates making her shutter. Spreading the front she taped the diaper in place. ‘It fits,’ she thought in horror. Without thinking she shifted her position, but the movement only served to remind her of what she was wearing.

After a few moments Tammy finally pushed back the covers and swung herself out of bed. She tried to move quickly so as to minimize the feeling between her legs but it didn’t seem to help. With a sigh she stood. Walking towards the light switch Tammy grimaced at the crinkling sound that came from her bottom. Without thinking she glanced towards the closet only to see herself in a mirror.

The sight made her stop in her tracks. Topless as she was she was standing in only her diaper. And in profile she could clearly see he bottom. Shockingly, unlike her panties, the diaper actually fit. Slowly she turned to face the mirror. ‘Is this what I should be wearing,’ she though miserably. ‘No! It’s not my fault. But the last thing I want is to wet Amy’s bed.’

Angrily Tammy grabbed her t-shirt and pulled in on over her head. After turning off the light she climbed into bed. As tears slowly rolled down her cheeks Tammy fell asleep.

Chapter Three

Her sleep was interrupted at some point by the urgent need to pee. Almost without thinking she shot out of bed. By the time she was standing, however, it was too late. Urine flooded the seat of her diaper. For a moment she blinked, curious at the odd feeling of warmth spreading across her bottom which lacked the familiar sensation of wet clothing. Instinctively she reached down to her crotch only to feel the soft padding between her legs become wetter and wetter. Her stomach began to feel tied into a knot, and with a grimace she laid back into bed. Even as she settled beneath her warm sheets and blanket, the last few squirts of pee soaked into the seat of her diaper.

Some hours later Tammy’s eyes opened groggily. Leaning up in bed she wiped the sleep from her eyes and looked around. The events of the past day crashed down on her like a tsunami wave, and with a groan her head fell back to the pillow. ‘It’s just not fair,’ she thought to herself. Despite having slept for a half-night prior to coming over to Amy’s, Tammy had felt truly spent.

Glancing over at an alarm clock set on the nearby dresser she was not surprised to see it was already 6 in the evening. ‘Oh my God, I never called to let Dr. Keller know I wasn’t coming in.’ That thought horrified her as she imagined her boss firing her on the spot once she did manage to make the call. Pushing back the covers Tammy kicked her feet off the bed to the floor. As she stood her wet diaper sagged a bit from the added weight, leaving her with an odd feeling as the material bunched near her bottom.

A quick glance around the room told her there was nowhere to dispose of the diaper. Cursing herself for not planning ahead, she grabbed her shorts and slipped them over her wet diaper. Taking a deep breath she stilled herself for what must come next. She only needed to make it to the bathroom across the hallway, or perhaps to a trash can she hoped would be stored in the backyard along of the side of the house, but her heart still raced inside her chest. If she could do that she could remove the appalling garment and take a well needed, and deserved she thought, shower.

Timidly, Tammy opened her door and stepped into the hallway. The smell of cooking bacon hit her senses with a tenacity that rivaled the uncomfortable sensation in the seat of her pants. Instinctively her hand went to her stomach as it moaned loudly in protest. The last thing she had eaten had been the cup of soup and that nearly twenty-four hours ago. Before she knew what she was doing Tammy found herself walking into the kitchen, her nose leading her towards the substance her stomach so desperately craved.

Amy turned from the stove, a small wisp of flavorful smoke rising up behind her from the skillet which was filled with savory strips of sizzling bacon. Her face split into a warm smile as she saw Tammy standing in the doorway. “Well good morning, or afternoon if you prefer.” Glancing back at the skillet she flipped a few strips before turning and continuing. “I am guessing it has been sometime sense you ate. I hope you like eggs and bacon.”

Tammy’s brow furled as she nodded. “Of course. They are like my favorite.”

Amy’s smile seemed to broaden even further if that was possible. “Well you’re in luck.” Motioning with the spatula in her hand she gestured towards the table in the attached dining room. “If you’ll have a seat it’s just about ready.” Tammy replied with another smile before turning towards the table.

As she took a step the feeling of a wet diaper bottom brought her back to her original predicament of the morning, or afternoon as it were. She tried to force her movements to be natural, but the bulk between her legs forced her to sway her hips back and forth more than usual. The result was a slight crinkle as she walked. She seated herself at the far end of the table, the end closest to the hallway. The wet padding of her diaper squished against her bottom as she sat. The sound it gave off was unmistakable.

Blushing Tammy looked to see if Amy made any motion indicating she had noticed anything. When she continued to cook Tammy gave a silent sigh of relief. With a click Amy turned off the stovetop burner. A moment later she had the bacon on a plate wrapped in a paper towel to dry up the excess grease.

Again Tammy’s stomach growled hungrily. As Amy piled bacon and scrambled eggs on Tammy’s plate she asked how she slept. Tammy smiled and replied she’d slept like a log, her eyes glued to the food being stacked on her plate. Amy chuckled and sat preparing her own plate. Without a second thought Tammy began to devour her food. The crisp bacon and cheesy eggs began to slowly sate her appetite, and as she finished off her first helping, she began to feel the tenacity of her hunger abate.

Amy paused eating her own meal to add more bacon and eggs to Tammy’s plate. With a grateful smile Tammy began to clean her plate for a second time. As Tammy was munching her way through her sixth strip of bacon she felt her bladder began to demand an opportunity to relief itself. She squirmed in her seat, her bites slowing as her attention was drawn away from eating and gravitated towards other base needs.

Setting down her glass of grape juice Amy’s face became a mask of curious concern. “Is everything alright dear?”

Tammy became painfully aware of the woman’s scrutiny and forced herself to stop squirming. “No, I’m fine,” she replied, though her voice sounded weak in her own ears. Tentatively she took another bite of her bacon, but even as she did she felt her bladder beginning to empty itself into her already wet diaper.

Swallowing her bacon Tammy forced back the tears which wanted to stream down her face. ‘My God, I’m wetting myself in front of this woman. No, worse, I’m wetting my diaper.’ The thought came unbidden and crashed over her. She wanted to run away and cry, to curl up on the shower floor and cry as the water washed away her embarrassment. The sound of pee soaking into her diaper seemed to fill her ears even over the sound of crunching bacon in her mouth. She felt like a toddler. Finishing up her breakfast Tammy began to stand. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Ok dear, I will clean up here. There is a diaper pail in the bathroom you can toss your diaper into.” With that Amy picked up her plate and moved into the kitchen. Tammy froze in mid-stride towards the hallway. Though she could not see herself she knew from the heat in her cheeks she was blushing a bright red. Forcing herself onward Tammy hurriedly made her way to the hallway bathroom.

Once safely inside Tammy collapsed back against the door and slid down to the floor. Her wet diaper made a soft splat sound as her bottom hit the tiled floor. Tears began to flow down her face unchecked. She couldn’t say how long she sat there that way, her hot tears rolling down to her chin and her breath coming in heaves. But with her mind a fog she pushed herself to her feet. ‘How did it come to this? I should have just cleaned myself off before going to breakfast.’

Her hands shaking Tammy slipped her shorts off. Glancing down at them she groaned. With two fingers she lifted the clothing up to inspect them. The seat of the shorts was damp. Not wet, but damp. The stain was clearly visible on the light colored material and encompassed a large circle which would have spread across her bottom when she wore them. ‘Is that how she had known,’ Tammy wondered. Had her shorts been wet before she sat down or after.

With a disgusted sigh she tossed the wet shorts into the sink. Pulling off her shirt she hesitated, looking down at her wet diaper. In a flurry of movement she untapped the garment, wrapping it up tightly in a vain effort to hide the accident and tossed it in the diaper pail.

****

The shower had worked wonders at restoring her perspective. She would simply explain her ‘situation’. She was sure Amy would receive the revelation with solemnity and understanding. After all, the condition was not her fault. She had no control over it. Her choice to wear diapers had been an effort to prevent her ‘situation’ from ruining Amy’s mattress. The pursuing events had been an attempt to hide her embarrassing predicament from discovery. Any reasonable person could easily follow the sequence of events and her thought process, or so she believed at least.

Wrapping a towel tightly around herself she hesitantly opened the door. The hallway was empty. Sticking her head out Tammy listened. Not hearing any sign of Amy, Tammy dashed quickly across the hallway into her room. With a sigh of relief she quickly shut the door behind her.

Her relief evaporated as she turned towards the bed. Laid out across her now made bed was a yellow sundress with white flowers printed across the garment and a fresh, folded diaper. Hesitantly Tammy crossed the room. Glancing about she saw he gym bag folded on the dresser. Moving towards it she quickly realized the garments she had stuffed inside were now missing. Looking around the floor she realized her panties and shirt from the day before were missing as well.

‘My God, my panties with the wet pad in them!’ That thought made her cringe. Amy had no doubt come in here and found them. ‘Did she take them all to clean?’ A soft knock spun her around to face the door.

“Sweetie, are you ok? Do you…do you need help getting dressed.” Tammy swallowed and opened her mouth. Her throat felt dry and constricted. She wet her lips and opened her mouth again but nothing came out. The door knob turned and the door slowly swung inwards. Amy’s head appeared with a look of concern on her face. When she saw Tammy standing next to the bed a warm smile replaced the concern. It was a pleasant and comforting smile but Tammy felt the blood drain from her cheeks none the less. She knew she must be turning a ghostly shade of white.

Standing in the doorway Amy studied Tammy for a few moments before speaking. “I put your clothes in the washer sweetie. They will be clean in a bit. Till then I figured you’d want something to wear around the house. I would have grabbed you some of my clothes,” at this she paused as her eyes brushed across the diaper laying on the bed in what seemed an unconscious manner. “Well the sundress will be easier to clean if you have an accident.”

Blood and heat rushed back to into Tammy’s cheeks. Her face rapidly went from pasty white to rosy red. Finding her voice she replied, “Um...no, no…I can manage, thank you.” With a departing smile Amy shut the door. Tammy pressed her palm against the dresser to keep from collapsing to the floor. Her towel fell away from her body, landing forgotten at her feet. How had this all spiraled so far out of control? With an effort Tammy moved to the side of the bed. Sitting down her mind raced despite her best efforts to rein in the onslaught.

Chapter Four

Letting out a breath Tammy pulled the sundress over her head. The neckline hugged her neck, but aside from that, it was not uncomfortable. The sleeves wear a bit puffy with a hem of lace that came just past her shoulders and it hung down to her mid-thighs, but it was not tight like she had expected. Turning to the mirror she examined her reflection. She didn’t quite look like a toddler, she was a bit too tall for that, but she did look like she was perhaps nine or ten years old.

Turning back to the bed she reached out and with a clammy hand picked up the diaper. ‘I do kinda need this,’ she thought with not just a little self-loathing. With a fresh tear rolling down her cheek Tammy laid back on the bed. She pulled her dress up around her waist and moved the diaper between her legs. Lifting her hips she slid the diaper beneath her then lowered her bottom onto the padded material. Swallowing hard, she pulled the diaper up and taped it into place.

Standing, Tammy smoothed her dress down. Her diaper crinkled loudly as her hands moved past her waist. Once reaching the hem she found herself tugging slightly. Frowning she made her way towards the living room. Stepping out of the hallway she quickly found Amy sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine. Hearing Tammy walk in she looked up smiling. “Do you feel better dear?”

Tammy hesitated before nodding. “Amy, I need to talk to you.”

“Of course, sit down. I actually need to talk to you as well. But please, go first.”

Tammy sat down in a recliner set to the side of the couch. She cringed at the loud crinkling that came from her bottom. Involuntarily her hands moved across her sundress, smoothing and tugging. Sitting as she was the hem of her dress rode up to her upper thighs barely hiding the garment just beneath. “Well,” Tammy started, her voice trembling. “About the, uh, protection. You see, I, uh, well being premature I have problems…it’s not my fault but I can’t help it.” As she spoke her hands fidgeted at her sides and her face glowed a bright red.

“Let me stop you there,” Amy interrupted, her voice comforting and reassuring. Surprisingly, in fact, her voice sounded almost motherly. “I, um, discovered your problem last year in California. You wet your bed a few times up there and your pants during the day at least once.” She smiled kindly as she spoke, likely an attempt to take some of the sting out of her words. “I thought at the time that you must have a medical problem. And I’m guessing that is what you are trying to tell me.” She paused, obviously waiting for some kind of reply from Tammy.

“Well, yes, you see I have a small bladder and the muscles which control, my well, control are weak.” Tammy nearly tripped over each word as she spoke, her cheeks turning redder and redder with each breath. She began to relate the sequence of events which had led to her decision before going to bed in what she had planned to be a logical and rational argument but Amy cut her off.
“So, it’s not a medical problem?” Amy’s smile slipped a bit as she spoke.

Tammy sat up, surprised by the sudden change of direction in the conversation. Her mouth moved a few times before she finally replied with a weak, “Yes it is.”

Amy’s voice remained warm and her smile returned, but her eyes seemed sterner somehow. “Sweetie, you simply do not have properly control over when you go, correct?”

Tammy licked her lips. She couldn’t help but think that she was somehow in trouble. The feel and crinkle of her diaper did nothing to improve her confidence beneath Amy’s scrutinizing gaze. “I suppose that is true.”

“So it is simply a matter of not being properly potty trained.” Her voice lost a bit of the previous warmth, replaced with some of the stern resolve in her eyes.

Tammy looked down at her lap. She knew her face was glowing like a campfire. What could she say? She didn’t look at it like that, not entirely at least. But a part of her, the part which criticized her and told her she deserved it, the part that made her cry, seemed to nod in agreement to Amy’s line of reasoning.

“Well, Tammy? Are you potty trained or not?”

Tammy looked up at this. She opened her mouth to say of course she was potty trained but the reproach in Amy’s eyes killed her moment of resolve. The self-loathing part of her stamped down her pride and Tammy laid her hands timidly in her lap. Eyes on her feet, she quietly replied, “No ma’am.”

“No what?”

“No, I’m not potty trained.” The admission brought a tear to her eye. As it had so many times the past few days the tear rolled down to her chin before falling to her lap.

Amy suddenly stood and walked the short space between the two of them to stand in front of Tammy. “Stand up sweetie.” The last of the warmth in her voice was gone, her tone a strict instrument that would suffer no nonsense. With only a moment’s hesitation Tammy stood. Before she knew what was happening Amy grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. In a single motion she lifted Tammy’s sundress and began to paddle her diapered bottom.

It lasted only a handful of seconds and with her diaper on, she barely felt it. But the shame of having her bottom, no worse, her diapered bottom spanked was mortifying. She would have preferred a sound paddling from her high school principal and her infamous paddle. At least that would have been directed at her jeans and panties.

As her mind processed the experience Tammy felt a finger slide into her diaper from the back just above the crotch. The finger ran down till it brushed her privates before being retracted. ‘My God, she checked my diaper!’ Amy released Tammy’s dress before returning to her seat on the couch.

Tammy smoothed the dress before sitting back down. When she looked up at Amy the stern look was gone, replaced again with the warm smile and kind eyes. “That was for lying sweetie. I know you were embarrassed, but not all little girls potty train at the same rate.” She sighed and continued, “Granted you are a bit behind in the game, but you’ll get there none the less.”

Tammy nodded. Despite herself she did feel comforted by the warmth in Amy’s voice. The part of her that would have bristled at the implications was just too subdued by her diaper, the spanking and her admission to take offense. She even felt a small smile cross her face.

“I know that you want to wear panties. You want to be a big girl and not a baby, but the truth is honey you need diapers. While you’re here you’ll stay in Pampers, but we’ll work at your potty training. Ok honey?” Timidly Tammy nodded.

Chapter Five

The remainder of the day, or evening rather, was spent watching TV for the most part. The shows Amy watched were not exactly what Tammy would have chosen but at the moment she felt far too subdued to offer any complaint. The encounter with Amy had left Tammy feeling shaken. When she said she was going to get something to drink Amy smiled said she would get it for her. Tammy had thought for a few brief moments that perhaps there was a silver lining in all of this until Amy returned with a sippy cup.

Tammy blushed, she seemed to be doing that a lot lately, but took the cup without comment. When she took a drink, however, you let out a sigh that carried with it a lot of the pent up tension she had felt. The drink was some kind of fruit mix Tammy was not familiar with. It seemed to have a slight hint of sour, as if from lemons or lemonade, but a light sweet flavor reminiscent of cherry or grape. Despite her inability to identify the exact combination, the juice was satisfying and refreshing.

After the first show Tammy felt the familiar pressure build up in her bladder. Glancing over at Amy she looked away before letting go of what little control she had, letting pee began to soak into her diaper. Finishing she began to stand. “What is it now dear?”

Tammy swallowed hard. “I, uh, wet my diaper so I’m going…”

Before Tammy could finish explaining she was going to go change her diaper Amy interrupted her. “Don’t worry honey; I will check you in a bit. Sit down and enjoy the show.” With that she gave her a kindly smile and returned to watching the television.

Tammy hesitated before sitting back down. ‘So I’m not supposed to change my own diaper? Does she intend to change me herself?’ The thought came as a shock. ‘She did check me earlier.’ Despite the cup beginning empty now Tammy lifted it to her mouth to hide her face.

As the program ended Amy finally stood. “While I know you only woke up a few hours ago I have a busy morning tomorrow.” Glancing over at a wall clock she continued, “It’s 8:30 now. We’ll get you into a dry diaper and ready for bed. You can drink your bottle as you fall sleep.”

Tammy blinked in surprise. “But…but I put on my own diaper yesterday,” she said, her voice meek despite the panic which was building quickly inside of her chest. “And earlier today,” she added quickly. “And I don’t need a bottle. I can just eat a piece of toast, or even wait till tomorrow morning to eat.” Though she could not see the desperation on her own face, she could hear it in her voice.

Amy just smiled, walking over before kissing her on the forehead. Despite herself, the panic faded as Amy knelt down beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “I know honey, but that was when I thought you just had a medical problem. I didn’t realize you were still a baby at heart.”

“But I’m not,” she weakly protested. To her surprise Amy slid into the recliner, pulling her up into her lap as she moved. For a moment she fought the urge to snuggle, but as Amy pulled her head down against her breast Tammy relented. She pressed herself against Amy, snuggling tight.

“I know it has been hard for you. I am amazed at your bravery to risk exposing your secret to help others. Anytime you feel the slightest need to use the potty you panic.” Her hand patted Tammy’s padded bottom affectionately. “But there is no need to worry. You can stay with me until the flooding abates. Or if you like you can stay with me beyond that until we get you properly potty trained and back into panties.” Her hand moved to Tammy’s head, her fingers moving through her hair.

A giddy excitement quickly spread, replacing the panic she had felt earlier. ‘She is mothering me!’

“Now go to your room and I will be there in a moment to get you ready.” With that she gave Tammy an affection slap on the bottom. With a squeak Tammy hopped up and rushed to her room. The warm fuzzy feeling faded as she walked back into her room. She was twenty years old and was about to have her diaper changed before being fed a bottle. Looking at the mirror she watched her reflection. She could just slightly see her diaper beneath her dress, but the feeling of it wet between her legs was painfully evident each time she moved.

The door opened followed by Amy who moved past Tammy to the dresser. Pulling open a drawer she grabbed what looked like a pink shirt and a clean diaper. Laying the garment on the dresser she turned to Tammy. “Arms up sweetie.’ Blushing Tammy did as instructed, her cheeks burning hotter as the sundress was pulled over her head leaving her in only her wet diaper. Standing there she truly began to feel like a toddler.

Instinctively her hand went to her mouth and her thumb slipped past her lips. Taking her by the hand Amy led her towards the closet. Releasing Tammy’s hand she pulled the door open and began to look through boxes stored on the top shelf. While she shifted through boxes Tammy stood next to her sucking her thumb, her mind racing.

This experience was nothing like it had been growing up. Her own mother had never been so tender about her wetting. Diapers had simply been the easiest way to deal with the problem. Tammy had started changing her own diapers when she was ten so it would cause as little inconvenience to her mother as possible. She had begged for panties until her mother had relented and finally gotten her the training panties. Aside from that, her mother had never taken an interest in the problem.

Not like Amy. Amy seemed so caring and loving. Despite herself, Tammy found herself enjoying standing next to the woman in just her diaper; no, her wet diaper. She found the thought perplexing. She hadn’t felt like this at home. She had just felt shame. ‘Why then,’ she thought. And then it hit her. It made her feel like a baby…like Amy’s baby. And that made Amy…

As Amy opened a box and pulled out a pink training potty Tammy was again drawn out of her own thoughts. Reaching down Amy gently dislodged Tammy, who without realizing it, had begun to cling to her side. Walking over between the crib and changing table Amy set the potty down. Reaching down Amy untapped Tammy’s diaper then spun her around. Gently she guided her down until her bottom came to rest on the potty.

“Now be a big girl for me,” she said, her tone soft and sweet. Over her thumb Tammy replied she didn’t have to go. In response Amy began to tickle her and as she laughed and pulled away she suddenly heard the sound of pee striking the inside of the plastic potty. It was only a few squirts, and Amy was soon praising her for the effort.

Before Tammy knew it she found herself being lifted, though Amy did grunt from the effort, and laid down onto the changing table. She watched Amy, the sucking on her thumb strangely comforting, as she grabbed wipes. When Amy grabbed her ankles and lifted them up to clean her off Tammy was surprised she didn’t feel a blush on her cheeks. When the wipe rubbed against her privates she found it felt right.

She wasn’t potty trained, she realized, Amy’s perspective suddenly seeming the only reasonable one. Girls who were potty trained could control their bladder. And strictly speaking, there wasn’t a medical condition she was suffering from. She simply did not have control over her bladder. She had been pretending when she wore panties. She only made it to the toilet half the time without at least a minor accident. Most often it was just a small squirt into her panties that would not show, but it was still an accident.

The smell of powder filled the room as Amy began to sprinkle baby powder on her. And as she did so her face seemed to be filled with so much tenderness. Even when she had spanked her it had been only to address Tammy’s behavior. And Tammy was finding that though she did not see what she had done wrong, she felt better trusting in Amy’s judgment governing her behavior than her own. Amy lifted Tammy’s ankles again, this time to slide the diaper beneath her. When her bottom was lowered unto the diaper it did not feel the same as it had before.

Tammy found herself closing her eyes contently as Amy pulled the diaper up between her legs. As she taped it shut Tammy reluctantly opened her eyes and pulled her thumb out of her mouth. “Since I’m a baby,” she began her voice timid and barely more than a whisper. “Will you be my mommy?” She braced herself, half expecting Amy to balk at the idea, perhaps even reprimand her.

Instead Amy’s face broke into a wide smile. Tammy couldn’t be certain, but it almost looked like a tear formed in Amy’s eye. “Of course precious,” she replied, her voice filled with emotion. She bent down and kissed Tammy’s forehead then moved down and kissed her tummy. Patting the front of her diaper she lifted Tammy off the changing table and set her down.

Tammy immediately pressed herself against Amy, wrapping her arms around her. The top of her head only came up to her breast, and for the first time Tammy found herself thankful for being so small. She smiled as she buried her face just beneath Amy’s breast. She felt vulnerable clinging to Amy’s side in nothing but her diaper, but somehow that vulnerability allowed her to feel safe and protected at the same time.

Amy put an arm around Tammy and half walked, half shuffled over to the dresser. When Amy untangled herself Tammy could see now the pink garment she had thought a shirt was in fact a cotton onesie with a depiction of Tinkerbell on the front. Grabbing the garment Amy lifted it above Tammy’s head to dress her. Amy pulled the garment down and over her head, then gently pulled each arm through the short sleeves. She then gently pushed Tammy’s diapered bottom onto the bed. Laying her back she lifted her ankles and pulled the back of the onesie up between her legs. Lowering them she then pulled the front down. It was tight at first, but the cotton slowly stretched until the buttons snapped at her crotch.

Tammy was about to crawl into bed when Amy pulled her to her feet. It took her a moment as Amy was leading her across the room to realize that Amy intended her to sleep in the crib. She felt helpless. She was going to sleep in a baby crib in Pampers and a pink onesie whether she wanted to or not. The feeling of a complete lack of control gave her a sense of peace and contentment. Before she knew it her thumb was back in her mouth.

Amy unlatched the side guardrail and with yet another grunt lifted Tammy into the crib. She then refastened the guardrail and lifted a pacifier to Tammy’s mouth. Tammy timidly removed her thumb and accepted the pacifier. Surprisingly the pacifier felt even better than her thumb.

After that Amy disappeared. Tammy looked around. The crib was not quite as comfortable as the bed, but she somehow felt more relaxed. She was wearing a diaper, and if that leaked it was ok, she was in a crib. A few minutes later Amy returned with a baby bottle. Walking over to the crib she leaned in and removed the pacifier from Tammy’s mouth. As Amy lowered the bottle towards her lips Tammy asked, “Mommy, what is it?”

A broad smile spread across Amy’s face. “Formula sweetie, it is good for growing babies.” With that Amy slipped the nipple inside Tammy’s mouth. Tentatively Tammy began to nurse. As soon as the liquid hit her tongue Tammy wrinkled her nose. It was hard to describe the taste. The warm liquid was not quite milky, not quite chalky, but definitely not good. When she swallowed it was even worse. She felt like she was going to vomit.

As she struggled with the formula in her stomach her mouth began to fill. She fought the urge to swallow and soon the milky liquid began to trickle out the side of her mouth and down her cheek. After a moment she felt it trickle into her hair. Amy continued to hold the bottle to Tammy’s mouth. With no other option Tammy swallowed another mouthful. The formula seemed almost too rich in comparison to her normal diet and she began to feel bloated. With each swallow her stomach churned. But looking up at Amy’s face Tammy felt a strong desire to be a good girl; she wanted to snuggle and be hugged and stroked. She found she craved it. And so without complaint Tammy nursed on the bottle, swallowing mouthful after mouthful of the distasteful liquid.

Despite her efforts more of the milky liquid trickled out of her mouth. This continued for five minutes before the bottle was halfway gone and Tammy was slowly becoming accustomed to the taste. The formula was by no stretch of the imagination good, but with a bit of effort it was bearable. Had she had the choice to make she would have thrown the awful stuff across the room. But having the choice taken away, the nipple held to her lips, she nursed quietly.

Before long the familiar urge to pee began to build in her bladder. She did not fight it this time, did not struggle. She did not have to release her muscles, only not tighten them. Laying there on her back in the baby crib nursing the bottle Amy was feeding her Tammy wet her diaper. She could hear the sound of her wetting and knew that Amy could hear as well, but she did not try to stop. Amy just watched, feeding her until the bottle was finally empty. After the last drop trickled down Tammy’s throat, Amy removed the bottle and replaced the pacifier. Tammy made no attempt to complain about her wet diaper. When Amy felt she needed a diaper change she would change her.

Before walking off Amy flipped a switch on the side of the crib. Instantly, tiny glowing unicorns began to dance in an endless circle above her as a pleasant melody filled the room. Slowly she drifted to sleep. When Tammy awoke the unicorns were no longer dancing and the room was shrouded in darkness. Half asleep she ignored the urge to pee and allowed her bladder soak into her diaper. Her pacifier hung precariously in her mouth. With her tongue she repositioned the nipple and sucked as wetness spread from her crotch to the seat of her diaper.

Her tummy rumbled a bit; likely because of the formula she had been fed. She didn’t feel as bloated but she did feel gas building up. Thinking nothing of it she farted. To her surprise a runny mess filled the seat of her Pampers. She quietly whimpered behind her pacifier. ‘Why had she ever asked to be let out of diapers,’ she thought. For a moment she considered crying, hoping that perhaps Amy would hear and come change her. ‘No, I’ll be a good girl.’ For the better part on an hour she struggled with sleep until finally in her wet, messy diaper Tammy was able to finally drift off.

Chapter Six

It is not surprising that sleeping in a messy diaper would leave one feeling cranky and disenchanted upon waking. And that was exactly how Tammy felt as she awoke. Even after finally falling asleep she had tossed and turned, waking every half hour as best she could guess till most the night had faded by. When she had finally fallen deep asleep it had been out of pure exhaustion.

That was somewhat surprising in and of it self. She had been awake what, three or four hours before being put to bed. But during that time she had ridden an emotional rollercoaster. Complex thoughts and feelings she had only been unconsciously aware of had floated to the surface of her mind and demanded their time in the spot light; the foremost of those feelings involving her complicated relationship with her mother.

Her mother Patricia wasn’t a terrible parent in her mind. She had never struck or abused Tammy. No, nothing so defined. Nothing you point at and say ‘That was terrible. That act, that deed.’ True her early years had been really rough, but the circumstances had warranted it. Her later years weren’t all bad. True there were some bad memories, but that was normal.

Tammy could remember once when she was ten she had wet herself at a local skating rink at a birthday party for a girl in her class. When Tammy had come home crying her mother had not held her, had not told her it would be alright. She had simply put a diaper on her and told her it would fix the problem. When Tammy had complained the next day that the other kids might see her diaper and make fun of her she had put a pair of tights on Tammy and commented that no one would see it now.

When it came to affection her mother thought saying I love you was for birthdays and Christmas. And telling someone how grateful you were for them was for Thanksgiving.

And then there was Amy. She was affectionate, caring…and even loving. Tammy had no desire to wear diapers; she didn’t want to be a baby again. She loved her freedom, her independence. She prided herself on her ability to take care of herself. She didn’t need someone to hug and kiss her, to tell her they loved her and how precious she was. But there was Amy. The way she had cared for her; the way she had lovingly stroked her hair.

Yes, it was no wonder she had been exhausted. It had definitely been an emotional rollercoaster. She had felt so content, so safe with Amy. A part of her wanted to trust Amy explicitly. Wanted to trust her more than a friend, more than a lover, or well given Tammy’s lack of experience in that arena what she surmised the trust between lovers would be. She had been sincere, surprisingly, at her request that Amy be her mommy. She knew if she had not felt so vulnerable, so helpless, she could never have vocalized the emotion.

Yes, she wanted to trust Amy like a mother. She wanted to feel warm and protected and loved, to feel wrapped in a blanket of contentment and snuggled ever so tightly. And so when Amy said she needed to be in diapers she instinctively felt like she did in fact need them. But like most things, reality and fantasy are too often very dissimilar once closely inspected. She had slept with an uncomfortable mess in the seat of her Pampers.

The thoughts spinning in her head seemed to give her a sense of vertigo, like she was weightless and floating. And then she felt her bottom land gently on something. Sleepily Tammy opened her right eye and peeked around. ‘Was it morning already?’ It was so early and she wanted to go back to sleep. She didn’t want to start tossing in her sleep again. It was so hard to get to sleep each time she woke up.

Amy was standing above her unfastening the snaps of her onesie. She vaguely remembered the last time she woke up her pacifier having fallen out of her mouth. She had been too tired to look for it, but now, it was nestled between her lips. She closed her eye again as she heard her diaper being untapped. ‘Uh, I don’t want to deal with that mess this early,’ she thought. But the line of thought was cut off at the feeling of a wipe beginning to clean her. The wipe felt cool, refreshing and blissfully clean. Vaguely she could still feel the diaper and her mess beneath her bottom. But then her ankles were in the air and the wipe was diligently cleaning away. Then the diaper was gone.

Tammy sighed in relief. It felt heavenly to be clean, blissful. Her bottom felt a bit raw and the cool air was drying out her skin, but the feeling was soon washed away as gentle hands rubbed a warm liquid over her smooth rump. The liquid soaked in, and moisture turned to the skin. Not to the surface, but just beneath, leaving her feeling soft and healthy. Lotion she realized after a moment.

Without warning the gentle hands pressed against her privates. The warm lotion began to spread across her loins and inner thighs. No one besides herself, and her doctor of course, had ever touched her there since she was old enough to remember. It was odd, and at first she did not know how to process the feeling. It wasn’t sexual or erotic. It was…it was…nurturing. As odd as that was, it was the only word which could accurately describe the sensations she felt. Even as Amy’s fingers rubbed across her clitoris she didn’t feel any shudders of pleasure. She felt like a little girl, like a baby.

Her disenchantment faded a degree, her heart fluttering as she floated back into a state of euphoria. She was about to be put back into a fresh diaper and to her surprise she felt grateful. That meant Amy was going to care for her, and love her, and kiss and hug her.

As Amy completed her work the last remnants of the foul odor from Tammy’s messy diaper faded beneath the scent of freshly sprinkled baby powder. Her ankles were again hoisted into the air before her bottom was lowered onto a soft diaper. As Amy taped the diaper shut she softly said, “I’m sorry sleepyhead but we don’t have time for the potty or a bath. Mommy is running a bit late this morning.”

Tammy groaned and mumbled behind her pacifier. When Amy removed the pacifier and asked sweetly, “What is it baby,” she replied still half asleep without thinking. “I don’t want to use the potty.” The realization of the implications of that comment brought Tammy out of her euphoric high and washed away the sleepy fog that still hovered across her mind. She opened her eyes to see Amy’s blue eyes staring down at her. Her heart began to thud harder in her chest.

‘Why did I say that,’ she thought, her mind empty for a change. ‘I don’t want to wear diapers but…’

Her line of thought trailed off as Amy spoke. “Don’t you want to be potty trained honey?”

‘No, I want you to hold me and cuddle me and protect me.’ The thought echoed so loudly through her mind she could only manage a weak, “No, mommy.” Again Amy’s face melted into a warm smile. She bent down and kissed Tammy’s forehead. Tammy closed her eyes, her heart fluttering. Soft lips then pressed against each of her closed eyes before retreating. Tammy sighed.

Her eyes opened as Amy lifted her off the changing table and set her down on her feet. The flaps of her onesie hung open between her legs. Looking back at the changing table Tammy could see her used diaper rolled tightly into a ball. Despite herself she couldn’t help but blush a bit at that. With a gentle tug, Amy pulled the onesie up and over Tammy’s head before pointing at the bed and giving her a light smack on her bottom.

Obediently Tammy scurried over in just her diaper to the bed and sat down. After going to the dresser, Amy walked over, a light blue sundress in her hands. Quickly she lifted the dress and pulled it over Tammy’s head, pulling each arm through the sleeves. The dress was near identical to the yellow sundress save for the blue pattern. Reaching down, Amy hoisted Tammy up to her right hip swinging her right arm under Tammy’s bottom. Reaching into her pocket she grabbed Tammy’s pacifier and popped it back into her mouth.

As Amy carried her into the living room Tammy sucked on her pacifier, her head resting on Amy’s shoulder. When she reached the couch she set Tammy down and flipped on the television. Amy handed her the remote and planted a kiss on her forehead before walking towards the kitchen. Ideally Tammy flipped through the channels. There wasn’t a lot on this morning, a glance at a wall clock telling her it was just past 6:30, but she didn’t really care. Now dressed and in a dry diaper she was beginning to drift slowly back towards the land of dreams. She could use a cup of coffee, but somehow did not think she would be obliged this morning.

Half way between sleep and consciousness the nipple of a bottle passed between her lips and Tammy reflexively began to nurse. The awful taste of formula pulled her out of her near sleep. Her eyes opening she looked up to see Amy holding the bottle for her. “Be a good girl and hold your bottle sweetie.” Reluctantly Tammy did. As her fingers wrapped around the plastic length of the bottle Amy released it and took a bite of a granola breakfast bar in her hand.

Tammy nearly moaned as she saw it. As the milky liquid trickled down her throat she yearned for the taste of real food in her mouth. Distracted by Amy and the retreating granola bar she didn’t even notice the pee that begin to slowly trickle into her diaper. A half minute went by, the formula slowly making it’s way into her stomach, her thoughts focused on the taste and texture of a breakfast bar before she finally stopped wetting her Pampers. Shifting her position slightly she became aware that her diaper was wet. The last clinging bit of doubt she had about needing diapers evaporated.

As Amy crossed the room towards her, a pink backpack in her hand, Tammy quietly nursed on her bottle. Lifted to her feet by Amy’s free hand, Tammy walked quietly hand-in-hand to the front door, the crinkling of her diaper serving only to heighten her awareness of her wet Pampers. Even as Amy led her down the path to the car she continued to nurse from her bottle.

A neighborhood boy, maybe fifteen or sixteen, jogging by glanced over in her direction. As the boy watched, Tammy nursed on her bottle as a heavy flow of pee escaped her bladder without any effort at constraint on her part into the seat of her Pampers. Tammy followed the boy with her eyes, watching him watch her. She blushed as Amy, not seeming to care if the boy saw, lifted the back of her dress. Both hands wrapped around her bottle, still nursing like an infant with a trickle of warm formula running down her chin, Tammy watched as the boy slowed to a walk, pulling his headphones off. Amy lifted a hand to the back of Tammy’s diaper asking, “Did you wet yourself sweetie?”

Tammy swallowed a gulp of formula, still wetting despite Amy’s hand pressed to her bottom, and continued to nurse without replying. In a tender voice Amy said, “Oh, I’m sorry baby, you’re still tinkling.”

Tammy could, and to her dismay, did imagine what she must look like. She could see herself standing with both her hands clinging to her bottle, held tightly to her mouth as she nursed. The milky formula trickling out of her mouth, around the nipple of the bottle and down her chin; a few drops falling to land on the front of her dress. Her Pampers, with their pink elastic waistband and green polka dots with small pink flowers printed across her bottom, on full display. Her mommy’s hand pressed against her bottom as she declared that she was still ‘tinkling’ in her diaper.

Despite this Tammy made no effort to hide herself. She swallowed the last of her formula and lowered her bottle. Her stomach felt bloated and without warning, she farted into her diaper against Amy’s hand. It wasn’t loud, but she knew the boy heard it. Amy dropped her dress and Tammy felt it catch on the back of her diaper.

Amy turned not noticing and replaced her bottle with her pacifier. Tammy sucked on her pacifier, mortified that her wet diaper was on full display to the watching boy. She fought the urge to smooth the garment. Kissing her forehead and tickling her tummy Amy teased, “Greedy piglet, did you enjoy your formula?”

Tammy nodded. Amy wanted her to be a sweet, innocent, good little girl. Her cheeks were hot as she shifted and her diaper crinkled, though not as loudly now that the padding clear up her bottom and across her crotch was wet. Amy dabbed her cheeks and chin with a wipe, cleaning off the formula, then noticed her dress and hurried fixed it. Opening the door Amy said, “Now climb into your car seat precious. We’ll get you changed in a bit.”

Tammy crawled into the car, blushing brightly as she flashed her wet diaper to the whole neighborhood. Amy hadn’t seemed to think anything odd about exposing her diaper, not trying to hide them, and so Tammy wouldn’t either. Even if that meant someone she knew saw her in it, or worse, saw her get changed. She desperately wanted to please her new mommy, to show her she was a good girl.

She had to wiggle to get her hips into the car seat. The effort pushed her dress up to her waist, fully exposing her Pampers. Again Amy didn’t seem to think anything wrong with her diaper showing and pulled the safety bar down across Tammy’s lap. A buckle locked into place between her legs, slightly pressing against her diaper. Tossing the backpack in the back seat next to Tammy she walked around the car and got in her self. The entire exchange, from front door to car seat had taken less than a minute. Tammy’s legs felt weak, though, as if she’d been standing in one spot for countless hours. Looking down she could see her knees tremble ever so slightly, leaving her legs twitching back and forth hanging as they were just short of touching to floor.

With a lurch the car pulled out of the driveway leaving Tammy shifting in her seat. Pacifier still in her mouth she watched as the few homes in the neighborhood passed by in the windows.

Chapter Seven

Amy drove into town as Tammy struggled to find a comfortable sitting position. The thin padding of the car seat offered limited options, serving mainly to press her wet diaper against her skin. She slid forward slightly as the car slowed and turned into a parking lot, the seat buckle pressing into the crotch of her Pampers. Looking through the window Tammy saw the store was a mom’n’pop grocery store. Amy pulled into a parking space near the front door, well they were all near the front door, and put the vehicle into park.

Tammy watched as Amy got out of the car and walked over to the backdoor. After releasing her from the car seat she patted the seat next to it, indicating for her to lie down. Tammy glanced around. She could see people walking in and out of the store just a few paces from the open car door. Blushing she climbed out of her car seat and laid down. Just as she thought, once she was on her back Amy took her ankles and lifted them into the air. She felt her dress fall up around her waist and heard the tapes of her diaper being unfastened.

She imagined countless eyes watching as her wet diaper was pulled open, exposing her bare flesh. Closing her eyes she sucked on her pacifier as Amy cleaned her and slid a dry diaper beneath her bottom. She blushed as powder was reapplied before her diaper was pulled back up into place. Amy then took her by the hand and pulled her out of the car, smoothing her dress down once she was upright. Without warning Amy pulled Tammy into a tight embrace, kissing the top of her head and holding her close against her chest.

Tammy found her faced pressed Amy’s blouse, her arms pinned to her sides by the embrace. Pulling back, Amy bent down and took Tammy’s face in her hands, slightly tilting it upwards so their eyes met. Tammy felt herself drawn into those crystal blue eyes. She might have been imaging it, but she thought she could see love and tenderness swirling in them. “Baby,” Amy said her voice full of tenderness. “There is no reason to be upset, mommy is here. I got you.” She bent down and kissed her cheeks.

To her surprise Tammy realized she had been crying. The mortification she had felt while being changed had been too much. She had tried to be a good girl, to prove to Amy that she would make a good baby; tried to prove it so she would keep being her mommy. Amy again pulled her tight against her, kissing the top of her head. Sucking on her pacifier, Tammy cried. She felt so overwhelmed. She had been upset and trying to hide it but Amy had known. She had known and showered her with affection. Closing her eyes she relaxed into the embrace.

Amy must have stood there holding her for five minutes, stroking her hair and reassuringly hushing her. When she finally pulled away she looked down at Tammy. “Feel better baby?” The question was blessedly filled with love and concern. Behind her pacifier Tammy nodded.

Clinging to Amy’s right arm Tammy followed her into the store. She buried her face, half hidden by her hair, into Amy’s side as she sucked her pacifier. She didn’t care her diaper crinkled loudly beneath her dress as she walked next to Amy. She hardly even noticed the odd looks she got from some of the other shoppers, some who no doubt had seen her diaper change. When Amy turned down the baby aisle Tammy hid her face deeper into Amy’s side. The older woman just affectionately patted her shoulder and continued shopping, adding several packages of diapers, a few bibs, wipes and a case of formula to the basket.

As they moved down other aisles, past shopping customers Tammy had no doubt they all guessed the items in their basket were for her. She could hear her Pampers crinkle with each step. Closing her eyes she clung tighter, sucking on her pacifier. With her eyes closed she could almost imagine it was just her and Amy. After adding some can goods and a few other items Amy finally turned towards the checkout register. She couldn’t see the woman at the checkout stand with her face buried, of course, but she greeted them warmly.

“Good morning, you enjoying this beautiful weather?”

“Oh yes, it’s quite lovely. And how about yourself?” Tammy tried to ignore the women’s presence as she and Amy chatted like that for a few minutes. But when the conversation suddenly turned to her she found herself clinging even tighter to Amy’s side. “Yes she is a shy thing,” Amy was saying in response to a question.

“How old are you sweetie,” Terri, the checkout lady, asked Tammy.

When Tammy didn’t reply Amy stepped in. “She is twelve. She gets shy like this when we go shopping.” Lowering her voice, though she still too loudly in Tammy’s opinion, she continued. “She’s still not potty trained. Poor dear has had a bit of a rough childhood."

Tammy was sure from the heat in her cheeks that she was a bright shade of red. She expected the woman to laugh and point out Amy’s obvious lie but instead when she spoke her voice was consoling. “Oh, you poor dear. You sure are a cute little thing.”

Tammy slowly lifted her face from her hiding place. The plump woman was smiling at her over the cans she was bagging. “There you are,” she said with a smile. “My you certainly are a pretty thing.” Despite herself Tammy smiled behind her pacifier.

Glancing to the side she saw a woman skimming through a tabloid as she waited with her two children. Her son looked to be eight or nine, but her daughter was near her own supposed age. When the young girl looked up at her and gave a small, nasty smirk Tammy felt herself pee a little into her diaper. It wasn’t much, certainly not enough to be noticed by anyone else, but she knew. To her own horror she realized that for a brief moment she had been afraid of the young girl. Before she had time to turn away she felt Amy take her hand and thank Terri.

Back at the car she again flashed her diaper while climbing in. After strapping her in Amy opened the backpack and pulled out a bottle. Tammy almost groaned at the sight of it until she saw Amy open a container of chocolate milk and poor half of it into the bottle. Excitedly she spit her pacifier out. Eagerly she reached for the bottle, bouncing in her car seat. She knew that she must look ridiculous, but the prospect of tasting something other than formula was more than just exciting, it was thrilling.

“Ok you greedy baby,” Amy laughed handing her the bottle. As Amy got into the driver seat and pulled away, Tammy nursed hungrily on the bottle. The taste of chocolate, even diluted in milk, seemed more delicious than anything she had tasted in years. She didn’t even notice the milk trickling down her face and spilling onto her dress. The taste of chocolate was intoxicating. As she drained the bottle into her still full stomach her eyes began to droop heavily. Still almost half full the bottle rolled out of her hands as she fell asleep in her car seat.

****

Amy drifted between determination and apprehension as she made the left hand turn. The car accelerated forward, every moment bringing the confrontation she knew would come that much closer. This was not how she had planned to spend her Thursday morning, but her life had turned upside down in the last twenty-four hours.

The situation with Tammy was of course at the heart of her dilemma. She could avoid this confrontation entirely, return home. She and Tammy could sit outside by the side of the pool and enjoy the coming day; it certainly was shaping up to be a beautiful one. ‘No,’ she thought with a grimace. This had to happen at some point if she was going to allow this to continue. It surprised her how quickly the young woman had worked her way into her heart. ‘No,’ she thought again. ‘Not a young woman, a little girl. She’s not a young woman anymore.’

Glancing back she smiled at the sleeping child. A faint foul odor made her wrinkle her nose so she cracked her window. She of course had never intended this. When she had invited Tammy to stay with her she had suspected the girl had a medical issue with her bladder. In California Tammy had wet her bed on a few occasions, and even her pants during the day once. She had assumed, correctly as it turned out, that Tammy would take steps to address her problem.

She of course had been shocked to see the pink waistband of Tammy’s diaper sticking out the back of her shorts that first day the two of them had enjoyed an afternoon breakfast together. She had nearly choked on a piece of bacon in fact. But regardless, she had too much tact to mention it to the girl. That was, of course, until she had wet herself at the kitchen table. Even then, though, she had debated with herself on how to proceed. She wanted the girl to put on another diaper that went without saying; but you couldn’t just tell another grown woman to put on a clean diaper after her shower.

She still regretted her bluntness then, despite how things had turned out. She’d never intended to send the girl running to the shower crying, or very nearly crying. No, she had meant her causal mention of the fact to convey her understanding of Tammy’s situation. And then there was that shocking revelation. A girl her age, not potty trained. It made her want to slap the girl’s mother. In that, Tammy was correct in insisting it wasn’t her fault. Mother’s are responsible to potty train their little girls, not leave the poor child to fend for themselves. Her mother should have invested her time and care into the girl. Oh but she knew what the woman would say, give the same excuse that Tammy had regurgitated. That was something her mother had no doubt told Tammy countless times to gloss over her disinterest in her own daughter.

Amy took a deep breath, refusing to give into the anger she was beginning to feel towards the woman. She was not by nature an angry or violent person, quite the contrary, but this was not the first time since the young girl had melted her heart that anger, bordering on fury, had welled up inside of her. That line of thinking made her glance back again and before she knew it her smile was back. Did she really love the girl? ‘Yes,’ she told herself. She had put Tammy back into diapers at first for the simple reason that the girl was not potty trained. Any little girl not potty trained needed to be in diapers. Not allowing Tammy to change them herself had been an attempt to show her Amy’s sincerity to help overcome her problem. ‘If you’re going to tell someone they need to achieve something then you have to be willing to help them achieve it,’ she thought, quoting her own mother.

Her tenderness had been meant to be reassuring, to help Tammy get through a difficult situation. And the babying, well ‘tough love’, as her mother often said, ‘is sometimes necessary.’ And then Tammy had asked her to be her mommy, and somehow, everything had changed. She had always wanted a child, a girl to be specific, though she would have loved a boy just the same. But that would never happen; the doctors had assured her of that. Unable to conceive, irreparable tissue damage; those were the terms they had used to describe her condition after her first and only miscarriage. Barren; that was the term her husband had used to describe her a month before filing for divorce.

Unbidden tears tried to form, but she pushed them aside. But now there was Tammy. She was so eager to please her new mommy, so quick to sink into her new role as the baby. And that concerned Amy. There was no question Tammy had to stay in diapers. The mess in her Pampers as she slept might be from the formula, but the night and daytime wetting was not acceptable for someone suppose to be twenty years old. She had to be potty trained, despite her protests, at some point. So what could she do?

‘Love and hold her.’ Yes, she truly did love the girl. The way she looked up at her, those green eyes pleading to be held. The way her walnut hair hung haphazardly around her face, framing her delicate features. And the way she would look up at her with her pacifier in her mouth, it made Amy want to shield her from the world.

Gently she reached back and caressed the girl’s leg. Yes, that was why she was willing to confront her sister. If she was Tammy’s mommy then Tammy was her daughter, and that made Julie her aunt. She just hoped Julie would see it that way. Amy could of course lie about Tammy’s age, tell her she was only twelve, Julie would likely believe that. Hell, Julie would probably believe Tammy was eight or nine dressed as she was, though she was a bit tall for that age bracket. But she just couldn’t lie to her sister. She wanted Julie to recognize Tammy for what she was. She wanted her to see the little girl who wanted desperately to be loved, the little girl who needed to be held and comforted.

Tammy’s Birth Certificate might say she was twenty years old, but one look into those vulnerable green eyes told Amy so much more than any piece of paper ever could. That look of contentment on Tammy’s face when Amy had agreed to be her mommy, the contentment that surprisingly had only seemed to deepen when Amy had taped her diaper shut. She wanted…no she needed Julie to see that. She wanted Julie to be Tammy’s loving aunt.

Despite all her courage Amy’s heart nearly stopped as she turned into her sister’s drive. Pulling next to the mini-van she parked the car. With a final deep breath, she opened the car door and made her way to the front door. It only took a few moments for the door to swing open after ringing the doorbell.

Julie, a younger version of herself, or so people always said, greeted her with a wide smile and open arms. “Well hey you, forget where I lived?”

Amy returned the smile and embraced her sister. “Those two nieces of mine would never forgive me if I did a thing like that.” Exchanging kisses to the cheeks they released one another.

“Well come on in, I was just finishing up some laundry. Have you eaten breakfast? It’s a bit late in the morning but I’m sure I can find something for you if you’d like.” As she spoke Julie stepped to the side to let Amy in.

Glancing back at the car Amy hesitated. “Julie there is someone with me,” she began stilling herself for the outburst that was soon to come. As Julie glanced towards the car she continued. “Her name is Tammy, and, well she is not like other girls her age.”

Julie raised a questioning eyebrow at this. “How so?”

“She is twenty years old but not quite potty trained,” Amy said, rushing forward. “She was born premature, from what I have gathered, and her mother never showed her the attention she needed growing up. As you can imagine this has left the girl at a disadvantage and a bit scarred.”

Julie frowned at that. “Amy, you know me better than that. I would never judge someone for problems they might have that are out of their control. Tell her to come on in…”

Julie trailed off as Amy shook her head to indicate her sister did not quite understand. “Julie, you’re my sister, and it is important to me that you understand what is going on.” At Julie’s look of confusion she continued. “Tammy’s apartment was in the flood zone near Lake Sherman. She was forced to abandon her home in the evacuation and taken to one of the shelters.”

At this Julie smiled. “Always trying to save the world, huh.”

Despite herself Amy smiled though she did roll her eyes. “Yes, but that’s beside the point. I saw her there and recognized her from the relief effort down in California last year; she was a volunteer. Well, to make a long story short I invited her to stay with me till her home was safe to return to. When she came to breakfast I caught her in one of Sammy’s diapers.”

“Really,” Julie commented, her eyebrows lifting in surprise.

“Well, caught is perhaps too strong a word. Saw her in one; the waistband was sticking out the back of her shorts. Either way, she did it to keep from having an accident.”

Julie nodded at this. “A bit extremely though, not to mention weird. Why didn’t she just…well I suppose she was probably too embarrassed to mention her…problem. Thoughtful of her, I suppose, but still weird.”

Amy listened to her sister vocalize her thoughts, a habit she’d had since childhood, and nodded with a small smile in agreement at her conclusion. “Well I thought so too, so I tried to be as tactful as possible…”

Julie interrupted her with a soft chuckle. “Good luck there; hard to be tactful when bringing up something that touchy.”

Again Amy nodded in agreement touching the tip of her nose. “Well I did know before hand she had a problem, from the relief trip,” Amy clarified before continuing. “So I was going to leave it at that and let her deal with the situation as she saw fit. That was until she wet herself at the kitchen table.”

That bombshell made Julie gasp. “You’re kidding me!”

Amy shook her head and continued. “So as she was leaving to take a shower I told her to put her diaper in the pail I keep in the guest bathroom for Sammy. As you’d expect she got upset and cried in the bathroom before taking her shower.”

“Amy,” her sister scolded her, a disapproving frown crossing her face. “I know, I didn’t mean it to sound so harsh but she caught me off guard. Despite that, I still wanted her to put on a clean diaper after her shower; girls can’t just wet themselves at the dinner table like that and not expect to have to wear Pampers.”

Julie nodded her agreement at that, though she still had a mild frown on her face. “So I went into her room to lay out a diaper for her, a subtle suggestion you could say.”

“Well not that subtle, but I can see your point.”

“Anyways, I noticed while I was in there that the only clothes the silly girl had thought to pack besides the shorts she wore to the shelter were a few shirts and her work clothes.”

“She was probably in a hurry packing Amy.”

Amy smiled a bit to herself. Julie had taking Tammy’s side several times so far during the course of the conversation. That bode well to her coming to terms with the situation; perhaps not today, though she hoped she would, but someday. “You’re right, I’m sure. Well, when she wet at the table her diaper must have already been pretty wet because it leaked and got on her shorts. So I laid out one of Stephanie’s sundresses for her to wear.”

When Julie opened her mouth, protest on her tongue, Amy quickly cut her off. “Now I was not about to give her some of my clothes. Besides, those dresses are easier to clean.” Reluctantly Julie nodded her agreement so Amy continued. “Well after she came out dressed we sat down and had a conversation about the whole incident. When I found out that she didn’t have any medical condition, that she was blaming it on being born premature, I confronted her. In the end she admitted she wasn’t potty trained.”

“I am not quite sure I follow. She said that she had trouble with accidents because she was born premature?” When Amy nodded she continued. “I don’t quite understand the connection.”

“She says she has weaker muscles as a result. She is probably right, but not learning to control them is no different in my mind than not being potty trained.”

Julie was quite for a moments and so Amy watched her sister closely. She could tell from the way she wrinkled her brow she was processing what she had heard thus far. Her eyes slowly drifted towards the ceiling, before nodding her head slowly, looked back at Amy. “I can see how she would think that way. Given what you said about her past, either her mother was abusive or simply neglected her.”

“I don’t think she was abusive. She seems to crave affection which leads me to believe her mother neglected her, or at the least, showed her little open affection.”

“So you’re trying to help her then, to bring her out of her shell?” The frown was gone from Julie’s face, replaced now by genuine interest.

“At first…yes. I had intended to keep her in diapers while we worked on the potty training. I didn’t know about her past at this point, so I wasn’t planning on bringing her out of her shell; just to help her get to where a girl her age should be.” She hesitated then, knowing that she had finally come to it. She thought her sister would understand, if told in the right way, but she dreaded it nonetheless.

Julie sensed her mood, or at least picked up on the fact that her sister was delaying. “What happened Amy?” Her voice was calm now, her face serious.

Amy took a deep breath and continued. “Well I was changing her diaper and she asked me to be her mommy.” Despite herself a small tear fell down her face.

The serious expression on Julie’s face melted into a soft mask of sympathy. “Oh Amy,” she said, her voice soft. When her sister reached an arm to her Amy pulled back a bit.

“Julie, she needs me. If you saw her face, the pleading in her eyes, you’d understand. She doesn’t just need someone to hold her and tell her it will be ok, she needs someone to take care of her. She needs someone to protect her and love her. She needs to be someone’s baby.” She watched her sister, the skepticism plain on her face. In a soft voice Amy added, “She needs me.”

With the dead honesty only a sister could offer Julie retorted, “And if she is using you? If she is just some messed up girl that is going to get tired of you in a few days, or a few weeks; where does that leave you?”

Amy suppressed the next tear that yearned to roll down her cheek, and shocking, the urge to slap her sister. She hadn’t felt that way since the two of them had been girls. It still surprised her how sharp her protective instincts were when it came to Tammy.

Julie must have seen her response to that in her eyes because she only nodded. “Ok. Ok. Bring her in; I’m sure she is fretting alone in the car.”

Amy glanced back at the car. “No, she is probably still sleeping.” Turning back to her sister she added, “She messed her diaper while she was asleep. Please don’t make a scene about it. As far as diapers go she is no different than Sammy. I hate doing it, but I have made an effort to let a few people see her diapers so she gets use to it. As long as you’re tender, she is content little girl.”

“Smart, I suppose, if you intend to keep her in diapers.”

“Well,” Amy sighed looking back at her sister. “I tried to get her to use the potty but she said she didn’t want to. I think we are going to have to take it slow. You have to understand, mentally she is sharp as a tack; training to become a veterinarian before all of this. But emotionally…emotionally she is a train wreck. The potty training is just a symptom, I think, to a much bigger and deeper problem.” Blessedly, when Julie nodded her eyes seemed a bit softer and more understanding. Amy knew she still had her reservations but she was coming around.

Chapter Eight

A churning in Tammy’s stomach began to slowly pull her away from fitful dreams. As her eyes slowly opened she blinked in confusion. She couldn’t quite remember the dream, but it had been very unpleasant. A violent pain twisting through her stomach bent her forward against the restraints of her car seat as vomit poured out her mouth onto the front of her dress. Her mouth burnt from the stomach acids and her nosed wrinkled in disgust at the smell of sour milk. Vaguely she was aware of the vomit drip from her chin to add to the mess on her chest.

Glancing down involuntarily she quickly looked away, almost vomiting a second time at the sight of the mess. Most was a diluted brown from her chocolate milk, but some was the milky white of the formula. Feeling horrible, she shifted in her seat. The feeling of a messy bottom sent her over the edge. Without thinking she began to wail. It wasn’t the cry of a hysterical young girl or the deep sobs of a heartbroken woman. It is more primal, more infantile. She cried, only wanting her mommy. She had messed in her sleep without even knowing and vomited all over her dress. Now all she knew was she wanted her mommy.

Tammy didn’t see Amy rushing down the path towards the car. In fact she barely noticed her open the door. It wasn’t until she heard Amy’s voice that she looked up. “Baby,” Amy said her voice full of concern. She might have continued but Tammy cut her off.
“Mommy,” she cried her voice frantic as her arms reached out to be held.

“Hush baby, mommy is here.” Reaching over Amy unfastened the car seat lifting the safety bar over Tammy’s head. Tammy didn’t move from her seat; too busy crying to understand anything. She felt Amy pull her dress up and over her head before carefully wrapping the messy garment up around itself. In mid-cry Amy scooped up her pacifier from where she had spit it out and popped it into Tammy’s mouth.

Tammy whimpered behind the pacifier, slowly beginning to suck. When Amy wrapped her arms around her, lifting Tammy out of the seat and car to rest on her hip Tammy felt herself immediately begin to calm. She buried her face into Amy’s hair, not caring in the slightest that she was outside in full view of anyone who cared to look in nothing but her messy diaper. By the time the front door was shut behind them she felt content

****

Julie watched in shock as the scene unfolded before her. She had heard the crying first, but while she was still wondering why a screaming infant had been left outside somewhere Amy had leapt into action. And when she pulled the then pacified girl out of her car in nothing but her diaper Julie had nearly fainted. The seat of the girl’s diaper was obviously messy but she didn’t seem to care. Hell, Julie herself had acted more self conscious about the entire affair than the girl.

She stepped aside so her sister could carry her into the house, softy hushing her though it no longer seemed necessary. Wrapped in Amy’s arms she looked as peaceful as any sleeping babe. She felt dumbfounded as it dawned on her where she had seen that type of behavior before. Sammy acted the same whenever she was real upset or scared. And Stephanie, before her, had been the same way when she was Sammy’s age. Not believing her senses she blinked, quietly following her sister into the living room.

Turning, Amy asked, “I left her bag in the car. Could she wear one of Sammy’s diapers, and could I borrow some wipes and powder.” Julie opened her mouth to point out that Tammy would be too big for Sammy’s diapers before stopping. The girl, of course, was already wearing one that her sister kept at her house for Sammy and it looked as though it fit her just fine.

Closing her mouth she nodded, finally managing a weak, “Of course.” Walking back to the nursery Julie simply shook her head. If the girl had feigned that performance then she was a well trained actress, something Julie thought highly unlikely. Had she really been that upset? She had sounded terrified. And the way she clung to Amy, face buried. No, she had not looked like a young woman whom liked to dabble in weird behavior. She had looked like a frightened, upset child who wanted her mother. And once she was safely in Amy’s arms she hadn’t seemed to care about anything else.

‘Could Amy actually be right about the girl?’ The thought bounced around her head as she grabbed Sammy’s diaper bag and the changing mat off the top of the table. It seemed to defy all reason and logic, it seemed impossible. She just couldn’t imagine a grown woman acting that way. Oh, she agreed that the girl needed to remain diapered, though babying her was perhaps taking it a bit far. But that crying…

Walking back into the living room Julie laid out the changing mat on the floor. She set the diaper bag next to it and then walked over to take a seat on the couch. Amy smiled at her and gave a quite, “Thank you,” before bending down to lay the girl onto the mat.

Distracted, Julie waved away the comment and watched her sister care for the girl. When Amy untapped and opened the diaper she jumped a bit in surprise. The girl was peeing and made no effort to stop. Julie chuckled despite herself as Amy quickly pulled the diaper back up into place. Amy shot her an odd look, half surprise half glare. Julie chuckled again and with a shrug of her shoulders said, “It happens.”

Lifting her hand gently to the girl’s crotch she waited till Tammy was done before resuming the diaper change. Julie stood, scooped up the soiled dress from beside the girl. “I’ll just toss this in the wash.”

“Thanks Julie.” She smiled at her sister before walking back to the laundry room. Stepping over to the wash sink Julie unfolded the dress, wincing at the drying vomit down the front. She glanced back towards the living room, though her view was obstructed by several walls and a hallway, before turning back. Turning on the sink she rinsed most of the mess down the drain. Grabbing a bottle of Shout she sprayed a liberal amount back and forth across the stain. After draping the garment over the sink to presoak she made her way back into the living room to check on her sister’s progress.

Thankfully the room had the lightly sweet smell of powder now that Tammy had a clean diaper on, her messy one tightly rolled into a ball and set to the side. Coming around the couch she stopped. Julie watched in fascination as her older sister tickled the girl’s bare stomach with her right hand, her left held up in front of Tammy. The girl had both her hands wrapped around it as she giggled behind her pacifier. “See, it is ok now baby, mommy has you; my ticklish little baby.”

‘If that girl is playing some kind of game…’ She let the thought trail off as her senses tingled from the cold anger the possibility provoked. Sighing, she let go of her anger and walked over to retake her seat on the couch.

“Would you mind if I put her down for a nap?”

Julie looked up at this, hesitating to agree. “I would but Stephanie would be upset if she wet herself and leaked onto the bed.” She noticed the girl blush. ‘So she is self-conscious, at least when she’s not screaming her head off.’ That line of reasoning circled her back to her previous thought and the anger began to simmer again.

Amy just laughed. “Oh no, I put her in the crib last night just in case something like that happened.” The blush on the girl’s face deepened a bit.

“In that case, sure. Sammy and Stephanie are at their father’s. They won’t be back till tomorrow.” Amy thanked her before leading the girl by the hand back towards the nursery. Julie watched them go before standing. Her thoughts raced as she headed back towards the laundry room. She wanted the girl to be genuine for Amy’s sake. If she turned out to be using her or playing some kind of sick game it would destroy her sister. She might not have said so, but Julie could tell Amy had falling in love with the girl. Hell, Amy had nearly bit her head off when she implied the girl might not be what she appeared.

Tossing the soiled dress into the washer with detergent she set the timer. She barely noticed it kick on and begin to fill with water as she walked back towards the living room. Sitting back on the couch she waited for her sister.

****

Tammy clung to Amy, the smell of her mommy’s hair filling her senses. Her head spun and her breathing was still a bit heavy from her crying just a few minutes ago. The feel of warm morning air brushing across her bare flesh was replaced now by the chill of air conditioning. The mess in the seat of her Pampers was unpleasant, but she barely noticed. She just held tight, breathing in the smell of her mommy; it smelled safe. Distantly she heard Amy hushing her, a hand caressing her back and stroking her hair.

Tammy whimpered behind her pacifier, a strand of hair sticking to her cheek. She heard Amy’s voice, speaking to someone else in the room, but the words didn’t register. The sound though eased her mind deeper into a state of euphoria. Contentment spread throughout her body, relaxing her tense muscles until she felt limp in Amy’s arms. Her body flirted with sleep. Without warning the world turned up upon itself, the comforting smell of Amy replaced with the foul odor of her diaper. She felt herself laid out onto something soft; a changing pad her mind recalled from some distant memory.

Slowly, Tammy opened her eyes. It wasn’t until Amy untapped her diaper and pulled it open that she realized she was wetting herself. The sound of pee squirting into her Pampers filled her ears as cold air rushed in to caress her privates. Tammy nearly panicked at that, terrified she might pee on Amy. She tried to stop, reaching out with her will to tighten her muscles. Even as she did a part of her knew it wouldn’t work. Just like back in her apartment, like a thousand times before, once she started wetting she had little to no hope of stopping. Before, when she caught it in time, the best she could manage holding it was for a minute or so, now…now she doubted she could manage anything more than a handful of seconds.

Ever since that first diaper changing her control over her body and emotions had seemed to progressively regress. Amy said she was her sweet baby girl and Tammy…well Tammy was becoming just that. The part of her that remembered her freshman psychology courses pointed to her sudden and drastic change in self-perception. It rationalized the dynamic shift she had undergone within the social hierarchy; how that change had balanced itself against her natural desire to conform. An escalation from normative conformity to internalization it told her. Her fear of rejection had manifested itself into an internal pressure to conform, conform until her interpretation of her own self worth shifted her self-perception. Her mind reasoned this served only to reinforce her own preexisting self-doubt and thus led to acceptance.

This line of thought was of course only a faint echo drowning beneath a sea of emotional turmoil. Her panic at peeing on Amy, the possibility of losing that sense of warmth and comfort she provided blinded her to reason. And then she felt her diaper pulled back up into place. She faintly heard a woman chuckle and say, “It happens.”

Sucking hard on her pacifier Tammy helplessly laid quietly on her back as she peed into the diaper Amy held up between her legs. When the last trickle dripped down her skin onto her bottom her mommy pulled the soaked Pamper away. A woman, strangely resembling Amy if a bit younger, suddenly stepped into Tammy’s line of vision. Tammy sucked harder on her pacifier, holding her breath. She had vaguely been aware that someone else was in the room, but despite that, she still felt startled. Her cheeks grew hot when the woman grabbed her dirty dress and disappeared. It was silly to be shy about a messy dress all things considered, but she was nonetheless.

Amy’s tender attention pulled her mind back to the present. With gentle efficiency her mommy cleaned her messy bottom. The bliss of finally having the messy diaper removed was only surpassed by the feel of a clean one sliding under her bottom. Her body relaxed into it. Sprinkling powder Amy whispered in a gentle voice, “My poor scaredy-cat. I shouldn’t have left you all alone in the car like that.”

Tammy was about to tell her mommy that she hadn’t been afraid, that she had just been sick before realizing the truth. She had been terrified. Looking back she hadn’t cared about anything save being held by Amy. If her own mother had been there Tammy half expected she would still have behaved the same. She blinked, her mind confused at the conflicting thoughts, the conflicting emotions. It was like riding a rollercoaster; one minute she was mortified when someone saw her, suffering in order to live up to Amy expectations. The next, she was a whimpering mess wanting her mommy, not caring who saw her Pampers.

With a smile Amy folded the diaper up between Tammy’s legs and taped it shut. With Tammy’s bottom now securely diapered Amy moved on to clean the rest of her. Using a wipe she gently cleaned her arms, lifting each before moving on to her hands. Amy then moved on to her chest. Tammy’s tiny breast were only slight curves to an otherwise flat chest, her nipples those of a girl half her age. Her body clean Amy moved on to her face. Tammy felt the wipe press against her mouth rubbing her clean. As the wipe moved to each cheek her sense of smell was overwhelmed. All she could smell was the wipe.

Her face was gently pushed this way then that as her mommy moved on to cleaning her neck. When Amy finally moved away, her work complete, Tammy felt blissfully clean. But oddly it was not the same kind of clean she felt after a shower or bath. She smelled and felt like a clean infant. Looking up Tammy stared into Amy’s deep sapphire eyes. She breathed softly, her eyelids half closing. She couldn’t imagine a better place to be, quietly sucking her pacifier while her mommy hovered over her.

Without warning a hand went to her stomach and began to tickle vigorously. Wiggling, her diaper crinkling loudly, she giggled behind her pacifier. Her mommy held her left hand just above her face, fingers wiggling as she teased her. Instinctively Tammy reached out and wrapped her hands around her mommy’s, still giggling as she was tickled. With a loving smile and a tender voice she cooed, “See, it is ok now baby, mommy has you; my ticklish little baby.” Her mommy’s right hand still attacking her stomach, Tammy’s diapered bottom bounced off the ground a few times as she giggled. Looking away her mommy asked the other woman, “Would you mind if I put her down for a nap?”

Tammy paid no attention, still giggling until the woman replied, “I would but Stephanie would be upset if she wet herself and leaked onto the bed.”

Tammy couldn’t help but blush. With a laugh her mommy replied, “Oh no, I put her in the crib last night just in case something like that happened.” Tammy’s cheeks got hotter.

Apparently satisfied with the response the woman relented. “In that case, sure. Sammy and Stephanie are at their father’s. They won’t be back till tomorrow.”

With a smile her mommy took Tammy by the hand, pulling her to her feet saying, “Thank you. I’ll be right back after I put her down.”

On her feet now Tammy followed behind Amy. The sound of her diaper was much louder than the pink ones her mommy had used before. These were white with baby blue stripes running down the front, between her legs and up her bottom. Between the stripes on the front was a pink bear dancing with yellow shooting stars above her head. In tow behind her mommy Tammy soon found herself led into a room that could only be described as a nursery.

Unlike, well, her own room she thought, a broad smile crossing her face behind her pacifier. Unlike her room there was no bed for big girls in here. No, the only bed in this room was the crib, and next to it a changing table. Most of the remaining wall space in the room was dedicated to a huge pink toy chest, stuffed animals, baby dolls, a basinet and a collapsed playpen. The walls themselves were a soft pink, and apparently, used as an oversized coloring pad. Ponies, stick figures, doodles and drawings covered every exposed inch of the walls that was within reach of any creative toddler.

Tammy’s smile slipped as Amy stopped in front of the crib, lowering the side safety rail. To her own surprise Tammy found herself flinging her arms around Amy, her pacifier falling out of her mouth. “Mommy! Mommy!” Tears began running down her cheeks. “I wanna stay with you!” Her voice was frantic.

Putting an arm around Tammy Amy replied gently, “It’ll be ok baby. Come on, be a good girl.” Tammy shook her head, crying as she clung to Amy in only her diaper. Amy’s tone was changed when she spoke next. There was still a tender element to it, but it was lined with stone now, a stern unwavering resolve. “Tammy, you’re going to take a nap. There is no point in throwing a tantrum.

“But I want to…” Tammy began before a swift swat to her bottom turned her protest into a shriek of pain. Well, no so much pain, under her diaper her bottom barely felt the blow, but shock. It was the first time Amy had shown anything but a soft touch since agreeing to be her mommy.

“Now hush,” Amy commanded. Tammy did so, not so much as a peep escaping her lips, though they did quiver. Gently Amy untangled Tammy’s arms from around her waist. Tammy felt Amy’s hand take her chin and tilt her face upwards. Slowly Tammy lifted her green eyes, puffy and red from crying, to meet Amy’s blue. With Tammy doing as she was told, Amy let the stern ridges fade from her voice. “Sweetie, I know it was been a tough morning for you. And I know yesterday was just as stressful.” Amy bent down kissing her cheek. Cradling Tammy’s face with her hands she continued, her own so close their noses were nearly touching. “We have both been going through a lot of changes in the last few days. Learning to accept who we are, and trying to embrace what we want. I promise, even when you can’t see me mommy is taking care of you. You’re mommy’s little girl. So I want you to be good and stop pouting.”

Reluctantly Tammy nodded. Amy smiled at her and scooping her up, lifting her into the crib. Tammy settled onto her knees inside the crib, looking up at her mommy from over the railing. Her left hand reached out, wrapping around one of the bars as her right hand went to her mouth, instinctively beginning to suck her thumb. After securing the railing and kissing Tammy’s forehead Amy turned away. As she walked out the room she flipped off the light switch. Immediately the room lit up with a pink glow as a night light switched on.

Laying back Tammy shifted about, trying to find a comfortable position. She moaned a bit behind her mouth as she thought how much smaller this crib was than her own. In her crib she could lay flat with her knees slightly bent and be comfortable. In this crib, however, she didn’t have nearly as much leg room. Her feet were half a foot apart and her knees bent back, forcing her legs far apart. The shifting made her diaper crinkle loudly. That too was different. Her diapers…well they had been Sammy’s but they were HERS now…her diapers were designed to appear more like cloth diapers. They lacked the slick plastic cover that these diapers had.
She pouted a bit thinking her diapers were more comfortable. Well, to be honest she couldn’t actually tell a difference. But her diapers were cuter. They were covered in pink and green flowers and had a pretty pink waistband. These had too ugly blue stripes running down the front and clear past her butt. In the end she supposed it didn’t really matter. No matter what they looked like or felt like she did the same thing in both. It didn’t really matter what she tinkled in so long as they kept her from peeing all over the furniture and floor.

Bored Tammy sighed. Looking around she didn’t find anything that was stimulating to look at. She of course wasn’t tired, well, not tired enough to take a nap. She had spent a good portion of the morning sleeping. Idly she wondered what time it was. Ten, eleven maybe? But that too didn’t really matter. She didn’t have anywhere to go, and Amy would likely paddle her bottom if she got out of bed. Again she shifted, her bottom crinkling as she did.

‘She could have at least giving me a bottle,’ Tammy pouted. She wasn’t hungry, not really. Her belly had been filled with formula and chocolate milk so far this morning. But at least a bottle would have given her something to occupy herself with. What she wouldn’t give though for some of that bacon Amy had cooked that first night. Her mouth slowly filled with saliva as she thought about the flavor, the crisp texture.

Her thumb sucking became louder as more and more saliva built up. On the verge of almost tasting the delicious strips drool trickled out of her mouth and down her cheeks and chin. She hardly noticed, preoccupied with her daydreams. Soft footsteps finally brought her out of her fantasies. Glancing over she saw Amy’s silhouette approach.

Stepping up to the side of the crib she unfastened the safety rail. Bending over Amy reached down and slid a finger inside of Tammy’s diaper to check her. Strangely it didn’t feel odd to have Amy put a finger inside her diaper. She didn’t feel the slightest tingle of embracement or her cheeks warm. No, not when it came to Amy. Removing the finger Amy lovingly patted her diaper. Slipping her thumb out of her mouth Tammy said, “See mommy, I’m dry, I’m a good girl."

Amy chuckled quietly. “Silly girl, you’re an angel even when you’re wet. Tammy held her arms out, wiggling excitedly when Amy pulled her up into a hug. Tammy giggled as she felt herself being showered with kisses. “Sweetie, this is my sister’s house, your Aunt Julie. It is important to me that she gets to know you.”

She pulled back at this. Tammy looked up her, confused. “Sweetie I love you, with all my heart. You’re MY daughter.” She emphasized the ‘my’, sounding fierce as she said it. Tammy took a deep breath, her heart fluttering. “I love you more than anything in the world. Your mine as assuredly as if I’d giving birth to you myself, I want you to know that.”

“Mommy,” Tammy said her voice teary but lacking the childish quality she had adopted over the past few days. “I love you! I love you!”

“Hush baby, mommy knows.” Tammy pushed herself up to her knees her arms curling into her chest as she snuggled into Amy’s arms.

“Mommy, I’m sorry for pouting,” she began again, her voice regaining some of the child’s innocence.

Amy just rubbed her back and patted her bottom. “I know baby. Mommy’s not mad at you. Now I am going to leave you here with your Aunt Julie for a little while. I want her to get to know you, to see how sweet you are. Will you be good for mommy?”

Tammy snuggled deeper into Amy’s arms, nodding gently against her chest. “Good girl.” Amy released her, and with a sigh, Tammy sat back down on her bottom, her legs spread out in front of her.

Looking up at her mommy she timidly asked, “Mommy, can I have a bottle?” Even in her own ears she sounded like a toddler.

“Aunt Julie will feed you when it’s time sweetie.” Disappointed Tammy nodded. Amy must have seen her pacifier on the floor because she reached down and grabbed it. Wiping it off on her shirt Amy popped it in Tammy’s mouth. It wasn’t a bottle, but it was better than her thumb. With that Amy walked out of the room.

After a few minutes Tammy sniffled. Her heart was still fluttering in her chest. Her mommy’s words echoed from her memory across her mind. ‘Sweetie I love you, with all my heart. You’re MY daughter. I love you more than anything in the world. Your mine as assuredly as if I’d giving birth to you myself, I want you to know that.’ She laid back, her knees bending and legs spreading. ‘You’re MY daughter.’ She had said it with such vehemence. ‘You’re mine…’ With those thoughts in her head she fell asleep.

Chapter Nine

Julie swirled her wine as her mind drifted. She had been ill prepared for her sister’s visit, that girl, Tammy, vexed her. Her eyes told her a story that her mind refused to believe. Was the girl playing some kind of sick game? Why would a grown woman act that way? A thought occurred, a thought which only served to stoke the flames of her simmering anger. Did the girl know, could she? It seemed inconceivable, but it explained so much.

Amy, like herself, didn’t like to talk about the legacy their father had left them; talking about it too often led to a painful conversation about his death, his murder. But his investments had secured both his daughter’s futures, and eventually, would secure his grandchildren’s. Julie set her glass down, drumming her fingers on the coffee table, irritated. Could that really be it? She supposed that someone with enough motivation could learn more with a little research than a careless comment intended. It was possible the girl had figured out that by exploiting Amy’s caring and trusting nature she might be able to maneuver herself into a position she might think would payoff. All of the investments and annuities were tied into their family Trust, but it was unlikely that Tammy would know that. She wouldn’t know that in order to cash any bonds, annuities or investments it required both her and her sister’s signatures, or in the case of an untimely death, their appointed successor. Standing she kicked a foot stool.

“Oww! Son of a bitch!” Limping Julie winced at the throbbing in her foot. “That little ****,” she angrily mused. Storming into the kitchen Julie swung the refrigerator door open, a baleful smile etching its way across her features.

****

Julie gave Tammy a rough pat to her diaper, the girl’s groan showing it had worked to draw her from sleep. She watched the girl’s eyes slowly roll open. Even in her sleep the girl had been gently sucking her pacifier, left hand resting on her lower stomach and her right curled onto her chest. The sound of Tammy’s diaper crinkled loudly as the girl moved her butt across the crib’s mattress. She was too big for the crib, her legs spread wide to accommodate her size.

Julie left her hand on the crotch of the girl’s diaper, gently cupping. After sleep faded those green eyes began to show alarm. Julie knew her face held a cruel undertone, but she didn’t care. By nature she wasn’t a vicious person, but threaten her family and she could be as ruthless as any lioness loosed on the high plains. “Do you like this,” she asked, her voice filled with frost. “Do you enjoy lying here in my daughter’s crib, sucking on that binky like a good little girl?”

Her voice had moved from frost to deep frozen ice. The alarm in Tammy’s eyes seemed to shift, was that fear she saw? Good, she would shake the truth out of her if she had to. “Answer me,” she snapped in a near yell. “Do you like crawling around in your Pampers? Is that what you want?” The anger has no longer simmering, it was an outright forest fire, raging and consuming. It seared away other emotions.

How dare this girl toy with her sister! When Amy discovered the truth she would be crushed, devastated for months, maybe even years. Julie could tell Amy had vested all her love, all her desire for a child of her own into this girl. A tear rolled down the girl’s face as she nodded. Julie wasn’t buying it. Reaching out she roughly pulled the pacifier out of Tammy’s mouth, holding the bottle up where she could she see it.

“This is breast milk,” she began, her tone now magma cooled into stone. As understanding crossed Tammy’s face Julie pushed the nipple into her mouth. She was about to command the girl to drink, but as soon as the nipple touched her lips she began to nurse hungrily. This gave Julie pause. The girl didn’t seem to be doing it to placate her. More tears were rolling down her face. It was as if her body was simply responding to the bottle of milk, irregardless of the situation.

Without warning she felt her hand grow warm. She would feel Tammy wetting herself. “That’s right, tinkle for me.” She had planned this part, intended it to be the spark that triggered the girl to show her true self. Even though she still expected Tammy to erupt into an anger outburst, Julie herself sure as hell would have, her voice had lost some of its heat. Those eyes, so afraid, almost innocent, were very disarming. Was that part of her ploy?

And then the girl erupted into an uncontrollable sob. She spit milk all over herself, half choking on what remained in her mouth. She continued to wet, Julie could feel it spreading across her diaper, even as her body began to shake violently, racked by sobs. The ice in her chest shattered. It was instinct that drove her over then, maternal instincts overriding her suspicions and reasoning. She no longer saw a plotting woman, seeking a quick payday irregardless of what destruction it wrought in her sister’s life. No, she saw a frightened child.

Before she knew what she was doing she had Tammy lifted out of the crib, pacing through the nursery, gently bouncing her on her hip. She was heavier than Sammy, closer to Stephanie’s weight, but Julie had years of experience holding children on her hip for long periods of time. “Hush honey, I’m sorry, it’s ok now. Hush.” It took nearly five minutes, Julie softly bouncing and repeating the same thing over and over before Tammy began to calm.

In a hoarse voice Tammy finally whispered, “I’m sorry for being bad.”

Julie felt her heart choke. She knew an insincere apology when she heard one and that one was heartfelt. With a sigh she gave a quite, “Well I suppose you’re what you appear to be.”

Tammy began to apologize again but Julie quickly cut her off. “It wasn’t you’re fault. Come on, lets get you cleaned up and the two of us will have some girl time.” Tammy sniffled, and then laid her head on Julie’s shoulder. The girl was still breathing heavily when Julie laid her down onto the changing table. She seemed calmer now, but there was an odd dazed look in the girl’s green eyes. That cut her, the look of those eyes, frightened and red from crying. The poor thing looked pathetic, half drowned in milk, her hair matted to the side of her face as it dried.

Moving to the crib Julie retrieved the bottle of milk, returning to stand over the girl. In a more gentle tone she said, “This milk really is good for you sweetie and it is already past noon.” Caressing her arm she put the bottle to Tammy’s mouth. Again the girl began to hungrily nurse, her hands wrapping around the plastic length of the bottle.

Turning to the task at hand Julie went about cleaning the girl. It only took a few moments to complete the work. Julie had been through one girl from diapers to panties and was currently working on a second. She was experienced in the unpleasant duty and so quickly had Tammy secured into a dry swim diaper, bright red with a picture of Ariel on the front. “Come on now, down you go.”
After setting Tammy on her feet she continued, “Now, come with me.’ In a few strides Julie was in the hallway, shooting a glance over her shoulder to make sure Tammy was following. The girl was taking tiny steps, only inching forward really, still clinging to her bottle though she wasn’t nursing as vigorously now. It was alarming how like Sammy she appeared.

Sighing Julie walked back into the nursery and took her by the hand. With the girl now in tow Julie made her way into the bathroom shared by her daughters. Julie led Tammy to the toilet, and looking down asked, “Do you have to go number two?” When Tammy only shrugged shyly Julie pulled her swim diaper to her knees and sat her down. Julie watched as Tammy sat there finishing off the last of her bottle. Seeing it almost empty she reached out and took it, setting it on the bathroom counter. Tammy gave a whine when the bottle was pulled away despite there being only a few drops left. “Greedy girl, it’s empty.”

The girl blushed and looked away before quietly speaking. “I know, but it was really good, almost sweet. Mommy feeds me formula; I know it is good for me but it tastes terrible and makes me feel bloated.”

Pushing a lock of the girl’s hair back behind her ear Julie found herself slowly warming to the child. ‘We’ll see,’ as all she allowed herself to think. In response she said, “Well formula is no substitute for the real thing. Do you need to go?”

With a blush Tammy replied, “I honestly don’t know. Even before, when I had to go it came on quickly. Now…” She glanced at the bottle before continuing, “I don’t even feel it when I go…” She glanced down for answer.

“Ok…I would guess your change in diet hasn’t helped.” When Tammy blushed even brighter Julie added, “Why so shy…do you blush this much for Amy?” When she shook her head Julie nodded to her self before lifting Tammy to her feet. Pulling her diaper back into place Julie helped her brush her teeth before washing her hair. That of course rewarded her with a grateful sigh from Tammy. She might be in diapers but she was definitely still a girl.

With Tammy’s hair now conditioned to a soft sheen Julie again took her by the hand and led her out into the backyard. Julie felt herself smile at the look of apprehension on the girls face when the pool came into sight. Her smile widened even further as the girl squealed in surprise when she lifted her, then melted into a blissful moan as she was lowered into the hot tub. As if half asleep she sunk into the water.

Chapter Ten

It was very strange wearing a diaper soaking in the hot tub as she was. Hot, bubbling water caressed every inch of her flesh, except her bottom and privates. Beneath her diaper her skin was snuggled in warm, soft dry padding. And the water, oh the water…it was so hot. It penetrated into her flesh, relaxing every muscle in her body. It was heaven, pure unadulterated bliss. She heard Julie walk back out onto the patio, her sandals flopping with each step. Behind her she heard a chair being dragged across the cement floor. An arm reached over her head, holding out a sippy cup with a yellow lid and covered in blue butterflies.

“Its juice, I think you’ll like it.” Grateful, but unable to speak, Tammy gave a lazy nod of thanks before taking the cup.

When she took a sip she spun around. “This is just like the juice mommy gave me my first night.”

Julie gave a soft laugh. “You like it?”

“Yes, it’s delicious. What is it?”

“My grandmother’s recipe…nothing but fresh fruit. She made it for my mother when she was a girl, and my mother made it for me and Amy when we were little.”

Tammy turned back around, thinking that over. Settling back she let the water lap over her shoulders. Lifting the sippy cup to her mouth she took another drink, enjoying the juice even more now that she knew its origin. She heard Julie take a deep breath, her voice gentle but serious as she began speaking. “Tammy, I believe I owe you an explanation.”

Turning she lifted an eyebrow, feeling a bit confused. “For what?” She blushed then, realizing Julie must mean for the punishment. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have misbehaved.” Inwardly she admitted she had no idea how she had misbehaved.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was furious at you, but not because of anything you did.” Julie hesitated as she took another deep breath. “After our mother passed Amy always took care of me. It’s in her nature to care for others. And when I saw you I thought you must be exploiting that kindness, trying to take advantage of her.”

Tammy lifted up slightly out of the tub and opened her mouth to assure Julie she intended nothing of the sort. But before she spoke Julie hushed her with a raised hand, so Tammy sank back down listening. “I can tell Amy really cares for you and the last thing I wanted to see happen was her get hurt. So I planned to confront you, humiliate you so that you would show yourself and prove me right.”

Tammy found herself blinking at this. She had indeed felt humiliated. She still felt embarrassed about the way she had burst into tears. Before her thoughts could follow too far down that path Julie continued. “But now I think I might have been wrong about you, so…so now I want to get to know you.”

With that Julie became quite, her blue eyes watching her. Those eyes were so similar to Amy’s, similar but somehow so different. They seemed sharper, almost more aware. Kind of like a hawk, in fact, almost beady, waiting to pounce. Swallowing Tammy squeaked, “What would you like to know?”

Without so much as a shift in her gaze Julie replied in an even toned, “Tell me about your mother.” Taking a gulp of her juice Tammy poured out her soul. She began with her earliest, and strongest, memory from childhood. She was six years old and her father had just walked out on them. Her mother had been crying in the living room. She described how she had felt when she had approached her mother and seen the cold expression. Tammy described how her mother had said it was her fault her father had left, that he had been sick of having a baby around the house.

Her tone lost its childlike innocence as she related the repeating cycle her life became after that. The disinterest her mother showed whenever she was alone. Then the short lived happiness after her mother remarried, her life becoming almost normal. That of course didn’t last. Inevitably her mother would sabotage the relationship. As things in her marriage got tougher, Tammy would be sent away to summer camps, or when they were still alive, to her grandparents.

Her tone became a bit sad as she related the times with her grandparents. Those few years had been the best of her life. At their country home she had learned to ride a horse and to swim. Her grandfather had stayed up late with her and told her old stories from his youth, her grandmother always ready with hot chocolate, a blanket and a lap. Summer camp…summer camp had been only been a nightmare of humiliation and torment. Tammy described the horror of being ten and sent to camp, the only girl with a pack of diapers in her bag instead of panties. And worse, when she came home her mother’s husband gone, the blame heaped solely onto her shoulders.

At thirteen things finally got better. Her mother married her fourth husband, a reserved man, and she began to have a semblance of a normal life. Her mother became more aloof with her, but the rollercoaster ride was mercifully over. When everything was said, and Tammy finally trailed off, the wall clock read nearly 1:30. She had been speaking for more than forty-five minutes and her throat felt parched. Hands shaking, she picked up the sippy cup, grimacing when she realized it was empty.

After a long pause Julie finally said, “I...see. I…I think I understand you now, at least a part of you.” Tammy looked up as she felt a hand caress her cheek. She was surprised when a tender finger brushed away a tear. The hands then rolled, and soon Tammy found her face cupped in Julie’s hands. “Last question,” Julie said kindly, but firm. “How do you feel about my sister, Amy?”
Tammy didn’t hesitate. Though her voice has hoarse she replied firmly, “She is MY mommy and I love her, more than anything.” When those blue eyes of Julie’s glinted with a hint of questioning, Tammy stared back definite. She felt her own eyes become tiny chips of stone, unyielding beneath that stare. Then suddenly, the look faded and Julie’s eyes were soft blue pools of compassion.
“That’s good sweetie.” Holding Tammy’s face Julie bent down and kissed her forehead.

****

After her long soak it felt great to be back in clothes. The water and her talk with Julie had been therapeutic, but the feeling of clean cotton on her skin made her giddy. She bounced on the couch, her bottom crinkling. After she had spilled her heart and been questioned Julie had begun to open up to her. The two of them had spent the next hour laughing as Julie recounted stories of growing up.

After two glasses of wine, well Tammy had been given juice, Julie had finally lifted her out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel. In fact Tammy had enjoyed herself so much she had been surprised her diaper was wet when Julie changed her. But that didn’t matter now. Julie had put her into a dry diaper then found her a comfy dress to wear.

Well, it was kind of a dress. Tammy wasn’t really quite sure what you would call it. The dress was yellow with a white, blue and pink teddy bear print. It had short sleeves with a bit of white lace. The back though was completely split open, only a strip of fabric a few inches wide at the neck holding the two halves together. As a result her back, including her diapered bottom, was fully exposed. But then again even if the dress hadn’t been split her diaper would still have been on display, the bottom hem only falling down to her belly button. Tammy heard a chuckle behind her, near the kitchen. Julie’s voice broke in asking, “Do you like the dress dear?”

Tammy nodded, with a smile adding, “Yes, thank you. I didn’t realize how nice clothes can be.”

Julie raised an eye brow before nodding her agreement. “So what do you plan to do now Tammy? How long do you plan to live like this?”

This gave Tammy pause. She stopped bouncing and frowned at Julie. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how long do you plan to stay like this,” she gestured at Tammy for emphasis. “Amy mentioned you were going to school to be a veterinarian. Are you going to give that up just so you can wear Pampers again?”

The mention of her pursuit, her dream of becoming a veterinarian brought back some of the fire she’d felt the night her mother had told her she was cut off, the night she’d told her she was pursing what she wanted. It was no surprise she felt that way, she’d completely let her guard down with Julie when her mommy, Amy, had told her how much she wanted them to get to know each other. That in it self had been a big reason the attempt at humiliation had elicited such a strong response.

“I’m not giving anything up.” Her tone was a sharp contrast to the attire she wore. “And I don’t enjoy wearing Pampers…I need them,” that admission made her blush but she pressed on, her voice only slightly wavering. “But I don’t like them. It’s mommy…Amy…the way she looks at me, the way she holds me.” Her voice softened as a smile inched its way across her face. “I guess I like being babied…And wait…how does she know about that?” Her smile slipped into confusion.

“I assume you told her.”

“No…” Tammy began, thinking it over. “No, I never mentioned it on the way home…” Her eyes drifted as she thought, not noticing referring to Amy’s house as home. Slowly a memory began to surface. “That was more than a year ago, and we had worked like eighteen hours or more before.”

Julie smiled and shrugged as she took a seat on the far side of the couch. She had a glass in her hand, tea maybe. “Well, you say you’re not giving it up. Do you plan to ask Amy to take you to classes and change you between?”

The amused smile on her face disarmed Tammy and she blushed. “No.” Her diaper crinkled loudly as she pulled her knees up under herself. She had no idea how to answer Julie’s questions. She bit her lip until the answer, obvious as it was, occurred to her. With a triumphant smile she replied, “Mommy will tell me what to do.”

When Julie sighed Tammy furrowed her brow. “I just want to stay with her. When I’m ready she will potty train me…and maybe one day decide I’m ready become an adult. Till…” Her cheeks burned hot at the thought of the admission she was about to make. “Till then, I prefer she make my decisions.”

“And what of your diapers; if she babies you people will see. What then? I know it embarrasses you…your face is nearly on fire with just me here and I’m family.” Tammy was about to reply of course it embarrassed her…hell she had been mortified this morning and she could not imagine ever getting over that. But that word…family…it derailed her line of thinking like the Dutchman's Curve. “Well,” Julie pressed.

Tammy shook her head slightly, just enough to clear her thoughts. “Family,” she asked softy.

Julie gave one of her sighs, before shrugging and replying, “Well, yes, I suppose. If you’re going to be my niece then I would think that would make us family.” Without asking for permission Tammy crawled across the couch and curled up into Julie’s lap.

****

Needless to say Julie was more than surprised when Tammy, without warning, crawled across the couch into her lap. She didn’t have the heart to rebuke her as the girl snuggled into her lap. Sticking her thumb in her mouth and laying her head on one of Julie’s breast the girl closed her eyes.

Helpless, Julie just wrapped her arms around the girl. As she watched her new niece drift closer and closer to dreamland she found herself ideally stroking her hair. As she had with Stephanie and as she did with Sammy, Julie gently caressed her nails across Tammy’s back, drawing mindless patterns. ‘Well, maybe she is a bit cute…and sweet.’ The thought came grudgingly, but it came.

The entire affair still baffled her, but she thought at least she understood now. She could tell by the way Tammy had related her story that she had never truly seen how fucked up her childhood had been. A child, mocked by the world and ignored, or sometimes even worse, blamed by her mother, left to deal with a problem that was completely out of her control. The more Julie watched her, the more her mind processed what she had been told; she began to realize she was starting to feel fondly towards her.

It was nearly an hour before she finally reached for the remote and by that time, she was actually starting to see Tammy as her niece. Not long after a knock finally came at the door. Unable to answer and almost certain it was her sister; she waited for Amy to let herself in. When she did, Amy’s face lit up brightly. Julie shot her back a glare, though she did continue to softly stroke her new niece’s head. For quite some time the two of them sat on the couch and quietly spoke even as the young Tammy sat curled in her lap, quietly sucking her thumb fast asleep.

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BabyBrat

Posted June 23rd, 2011 ~ 6:21 pm

Thanks Princess Pottypants. It's a good story and I usually edit those I like so that I keep stories that I've corrected spelling and punctuation and formatting. I appreciate the effort you made and all the time it saved me.

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emma wotson

Posted August 1st, 2011 ~ 1:49 am

me loved it!!! Look foward to part 2, yeah!!!!!!

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meisababy

Posted August 2nd, 2011 ~ 8:05 pm

wonderful story i like it a lot it was very good

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mya

Posted October 9th, 2011 ~ 6:54 pm

i likey stroe

Princess are kind, brave, beautiful and determined they can do or be anything
even change the world.

All girls are princess what you see in the Mirrors doesn't define you.

It doesn’t meter if you weren't born a girl. As long as your one at heart you too are a princess

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