We all have our secrets. They’re usually little things we like to hide about ourselves from others. Maybe we pick our noses, or we don’t tip anywhere near where we should. Other times it could be something more significant, something that can change the very landscape of a relationship. I’m not going to say that everyone’s experience will be the same, hell, most people will still probably think I’m just a little off for choosing to enjoy my situation. I guess in some ways I was never really fully “on.”
See, I have a very particular set of sexual interests, and to many these interests would be considered extreme or disgusting. In fact, I had shared these desires with women in my past, and needless to say, it didn’t quite go as I had hoped. These experiences left me guarded, choosing to hide my fetish from my significant others instead of sharing it, and I suppose in some ways it hindered my ability to be truly intimate with them.
My girlfriend, Louise, knew there was something I wasn’t telling her, she told me so. She had also told me she didn’t mind, she knew about my prior relationship experiences, and she was very understanding about my unwillingness to open up.
With all of this being said, I suppose it’s time to go into the real meat and potatoes of this little tale. I have a diaper fetish, amongst a few other interests, but I don’t really know if I’d call myself an “adult baby.” I do like all of those things, the onesies, pacifiers, bibs, bottlefeeding. I just, I don’t know if it’s something I’d say want to base my life around.
So, to cope with a lot of these...desires? I would go online. I joined forums, played games, hell, I even did the whole “virtual persona” thing. Most of the time, while I did these things I would be diapered. Diapers were easy enough to hide, and buying them off the internet usually had them coming in discreet packaging. So, this was my “me” time, I guess. The chance I took to fully immerse myself in the AB/DL world without having someone to serve as a caregiver. Personally, I really enjoyed the more feminine colors and my avatar online was more feminine (they still had a penis and were very much a boy, but they didn’t have what one would call a “manly” figure.) The diapers I purchased were typically pink or lavender in color, and the wipes or powder I’d buy was usually lavender scented. It turned me on far more to feel feminine and helpless than it did to just be in a diaper and feel that way. This, of course, means I did some other experimenting as well.
You read the stories online and see the porn and you think “wow that looks really pleasurable!” Fact is, if you start putting things in your bottom at the wrong size, or without enough lube, it hurts like hell. There were a few times, after I had my “girly” time, that I’d be spending time with Louise and she’d point out the strange limp I had. I usually chalked it up to something work related, maybe my leg hurt because I had been standing on it for over eighteen hours. Seemed to go with it just fine.
All of this was fine, I was able to explore this side of myself in private, away from prying eyes and without anyone asking any questions. Things were good. Then I went out of town for two weeks. My job had me travelling a lot, going to other states to help them out with whatever they may have needed help with. During these times, I wasn’t really able to “enjoy” myself much, having a roommate and all. Then came the day we were travelling back home, I had called up Louise and when we spoke, she seemed a little off. Like there was something she wasn’t telling me. Honestly I had feared she was going to end the relationship, that she was tired of waiting for me to fully open up to her and decided that it was high time she moved on to someone more emotionally available.
When I got home, though, things seemed fine. Louise was thrilled, and she came over to my place and made me one of the best dinners I’d had in recent memory ( she’s a phenomenal cook, and everything she makes is absolutely stellar.) After dinner, we cleaned up together, parked ourselves in front of the tv and watched a few things on netflix before we started to get intimate. It was simple at first, just some gentle caressing, I would stroke her back as she lay in my lap and she’d rub a hand against my thigh. Finally, she sat up, kissing me passionately. Her hands cupped my face and her tongue probed my mouth. Hands drifted down across my chest, to the hem of my shirt, tugging at it until I pulled away and took it off. She watched first, then eagerly kissed my exposed flesh, gently tonguing my nipples before pulling away and wrenching her own shirt free. She wasted no time with her bra, either, freeing her supple breasts. Instead of continuing her work on me, she guided my head to one of her own nipples. I lapped at it and kissed, but she stopped me, a small smirk on her face “suckle.” she commanded. I blinked, but obeyed, suckling at her nipple as commanded. She held me there a good few minutes, just pushing my head into her breast and having me change nipples a few times during. Finally, she pulled my face free and smiled. “Close your eyes and come with me…” she whispered hotly, taking my hand. I was a bit confused, but in this weird sex-haze, so I wasn’t exactly thinking with the head on my shoulders.
I obliged her again, closing my eyes and allowing her to guide me to somewhere else in the house. I heard a door open, and I was sat upon something soft, which I figured was the bed. She told me to keep my eyes closed as she closed the door, and it was few more moments of her shuffling about before I heard her again. “Okay, open them…” as I did, and I blinked the dim light into my system, I nearly fainted. She was holding one of my diapers, and a pacifier and dildo in the other hand.
“Lou...I...I can…”
“Shhh...Jo, it’s alright. I admit, when I came over with the food earlier this week and I found this stuff I was a bit...shocked? But Jo, I love you, I’ve said it before.” she paused, inhaling, “After I found your um...stash? I did some looking. I uh, I checked your history and I viewed some of your downloads, and I gotta say...you’re a dirty little boy.” she said it almost coyly. “I get why you’d want to keep this a secret, hon, I do. So, I’m going to ask you something and I want you to be very honest with me, ok?” I nodded. “Do you want me to be your...what was it? Your caregiver? Or uh, Mommy?”
My eyes widened even more, my mouth felt like the Sahara, and I was shaking. I...I didn’t know what to say.
“I understand this is a lot, and it’s super sudden, but I think this is an important step for us.”
“Lou, I…” my eyes began to well up as I sat there, “I don’t want you to think less of me for this! I don’t want you to see me differently!”
This time it was her eyes that widened. “Oh, Jo, honey. I don’t see you any differently. You’re still the man I adore, still the love of my life, and I want you to be the best you…” she whispered, coming to sit next to me. “That being said...I don’t think I really like the term ‘mommy’ or ‘caregiver.’ I will gladly be your Mistress, your Domme, your Goddess, hell I don’t mind you still calling me by my name. Titles are just titles, Jo, what matters is your happiness and comfort.”
My head swam, this was a dream, it had to be. “Lou, I…” a finger was pressed to my lips and my chin was gently cupped to meet her eyes.
“Jo, I’m being sincere. I want to know this. No, I need to know this.”
I smiled weakly. “Yes, Lou, yes I want this. God, I’ve wanted this for so long…” she smiled and caressed my face, kissing me with a passion I didn’t even know she had. When she pulled away she was grinning wildly.
“Alright, you, then I guess the first thing we ought to do I get you situated, hm?” I breathed, hesitant, but I nodded. Leaning back down she kissed me, slowly pushing me onto my back and caressing my chest. We made out for a few minutes before she unbuttoned my pants and pulled them free. My underwear followed shortly thereafter. Standing, she picked the diaper up off the dresser and smirked. “First and foremost, I can’t have you protesting anything that’s about to happen so…” she grabbed the pacifier and popped it into my mouth. “Suckle on that, if you take it out I’ll make sure you regret it, understood?” she was suddenly so matter of fact, so certain, I just nodded nervously. She waggled the pink diaper in my face and giggled. “I didn’t know you were into such girly things, Jo, though...I guess it also explains why you’d be walking funny on some of our dates.” she said impishly, I just blushed as crimson as I could get. She tapped the end of the binky and tutted, “I don’t see suckling, little man!” quickly I obeyed. “Excellent!” with that, she set about to work, going right to my stash drawer and pulling out the powder, wipes, and the baby oil At this point I was so hard I could barely think straight, and when Louise turned around she pointed it out. “Well...someone is certainly eager for change time.” she said with a giggle, kneeling down and unfolding the diaper. “Lift your hips.” she commanded plainly, and I once again found myself obliging her. She slid the diaper underneath me, face inches away from my erection. I could see her down there, the devious smile on her face as she pushed gently on my stomach to signal me to come down.
She worked baby oil into her palms next, and I was left wondering how it was she knew so much about this entire process. My thoughts, however, were interrupted by her working the oil into my skin. When her hand encircled my cock I inhaled sharply, and she took notice, paying special attention to my manhood and ensuring she worked that oil into every inch of skin, stroking me fondly throughout. Her pace was sporadic, enough to keep me begging for release, but never getting into a rhythm that would allow it. Then, her hands drifted down, caressing my balls and drifting beneath them, tracing her finger lower and lower until it was circling my back hole. I looked up nervously, and she just smiled. “Relax...let me do my thing.” she whispered in such a sensuous tone that I felt myself melting within it.
Her finger slid in with almost no resistance at all, the oil doing a great job of serving as a lubricant. I gasped, hands clutching the sheets in shock, she’d never done anything like that before and I had never experienced anything like that with another person, just myself. I forced myself to relax as she giggled. “Tensing up after just a finger? Come on, Jo, I’ve seen your toys...this should be nothing to you!” she teased, just making me even more aroused. She slid that single digit in and out a few times, working my hole as she licked her lips, sliding another finger into me with an almost animalistic purr. I moaned, something I didn’t normally do a lot of when I was with her, and she noticed. “My...enjoying ourselves?” she asked teasingly, pumping a bit more eagerly now. I moaned again, offering a meek nod. “Good.” she murmured, leaning up and kissing my forehead. She slid her fingers out and stood up, heading back over to my stash and pulling out one of my smaller plugs. She turned back to me, knelt back down and proceeded to slide the toy into me.
Once it was firmly in place, she left me lying there on an open diaper while she stood again and removed her pants. Turning to me in just her panties I could see the strange deviant that my desires had seemed to awaken in her, it excited and terrified me. Climbing back on to the bed, she straddled my face and pulled her panties aside revealing her glistening sex. Without a word, she grabbed the back of my head and rammed my face forcefully into her cunt. I didn’t hesitate, my mouth opened and I lapped at her juices, running my tongue along her clit with all the eagerness that built itself up within me. She rode my face with a fervor, and as my tongue continued to probe her folds and journey back to that sweet, sweet button I found myself beyond euphoric. Then, she stopped me, flipping herself around so she was bending over in front of my face, she seized my cock in her hand and began to stroke fervently, pausing only to stuff my confused face back into her pussy. I continued to lick and even suck a bit at her, which only seemed to increase whatever wild fervor had overcome her. She seized the end of the plug and began to pump it in and out of me, hand drifting away from my dick and focusing solely on fucking me in the ass while I did my best to keep my focus upon her folds.
Then, with an almost animalistic shriek, she plowed the plug as deep into my ass as she could manage, rising and arching her back. Both hands seized my head, fingers deeply interlaced in my hair, pulling me firmly into her as she shivered in ecstasy, racked by a powerful orgasm. When her tension eased, she climbed off my face, licking some of her stray juices from my cheek before immediately straddling my waist and locking me in a passionate kiss as she guided my now throbbing member into her slick cunt.
She bounced on me for what felt to me like a only a few moments before I started to feel the pleasure build, but she showed no signs of easing off or even considering stopping her pace. She rode me expertly, and before I knew it, the pleasure had reached its crescendo and I came. My hips bucked, I grabbed hers and we locked in place as I shot my load deep into her. I orgasmed so hard, and came so much that it honestly hurt a bit. Rasping, I relaxed, and she collapsed on top of me, both of us panting and sweaty. She looked into my eyes, true adoration in hers “That...that was fucking amazing.” she whispered. I could only nod in response, my body still completely overwhelmed with pleasure.
So we lay there, a long while, my cock still inside of her until it softened enough to fall out on its own. Even then, we still lay, just staring at each other and trying to find the words to share our feelings. Eventually, she rolled off of me, patting my thigh gently and sitting up. “Gotta get cleaned up, don’t go anywhere!” she declared, padding out of the room into the bathroom. She was only gone a few minutes before returning with a big glass of water, some of which she drank, but most of which she wanted me to drink. Something about needing to stay hydrated. When she was satisfied that I had drank the entire cup she turned back to the original task at hand, dusting me with a liberal amount of the same lavender scented powder and sliding down to bring the diaper up.
“What about the plug?” I asked curiously.
“What about it? Don’t want you making any messies just yet, sweety. Gotta wear it for now!” she crooned, bringing the front of the diaper up and taping it snugly in place before climbing back up the bed and resting her back against the wall, sliding me just under her breasts as she stroked my hair. “Alright. Now, I suppose we should set like, some rules in place, yeah?” she asked, and I nodded. She laughed “That was rhetorical, silly. Of course there’s gotta be rules.” she said, kissing my forehead. “The first of which is simple: no touching yourself without permission mister man. Gotta ask to touch my winky from here on in!” I blinked, but nodded, she seemed to have really settled into this role without much hesitation. “Rule 2: when you’re in a diaper the potty is completely off limits.”
“What about if I have to...you know…”
“Shit?” she asked rather vulgarly.
“Yeah..:”
“Then you go in your diaper, which brings me to rule number 3! Absolutely, under no circumstance, are you to change your own diaper, understood? If you need a change to ask me, I’ll check your diaper and determine if you actually do.” I was a bit taken aback by this one, it was so specific, but I nodded nonetheless.
“Rule 4: You are to submit to any and all diaper checks. No matter when or where we are.” I hesitated at this one.
“What do you mean by that?” I questioned.
“I mean, if we’re out in public and I decided to check you, you let me.” she stated plainly.
“PUBLIC!?” I nearly fainted.
“Oh stop, I’ve read all your stories and forum posts, and even some of the transcripts you saved of some of the much kinkier stuff you roleplayed online.” I bit my lip, but I nodded. “Good! Final rule for now, until I can think of more, essentially. If, at any time, I decide you need to be diapered up and brought into a sort of…’little space’ you are to allow it, no matter what.” I could only offer another nod. She leaned down, kissing my forehead before continuing. “I know that you’d like nothing more than to do this all the time, but let’s be realistic. That’d be super expensive, not only that, but with our jobs it really would make a lot of sense. So, we’ll go for the next best thing and do it as much as I feel you need it.”
I smiled, leaning up and pecking her on the cheek. “I understand.” I said almost tearfully.
“Good, now I want to try something if you’re up for it?” I offered her a nod. “I want you to suckle until you fall asleep, I think it’ll do you some good.” I thought about that a moment, and I nodded. Why not? I was placing my trust in her at this point, so this was just another link in that chain. Latching my mouth around one of her nipples I began to suck, and I guess at some point she had prepared for this, too, because she had grabbed the remote for the TV in my room and turned it on. She watched sitcoms and stroked my hair as I suckled, and eventually, I felt sleep begin to overtake me.
