PG Very mixed feelings on how to proceed with my life. Help?
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Here's my malfunction: I am a crossdresser and an AB/DL like most of us here. A year ago yesterday, I met the love of my life. She knows I used to like crossdressing (but not wearing diapers). At first she was scared that this was an act of homosexuality and that she might lose me at some point but I quickly assured her that it wasn't. She was then okay with the fact that I did this and said it was okay if I still did, but she didn't want engage in it. Which is completely okay because that's her choice and I wouldn't force her to. But my problem is, though I still enjoy doing these things because it makes me feel good, at the same time I feel like I don't want to anymore because I want to be her man in the traditional sense of the word. Thus, (before tonight when I bought some diapers and baby things) I haven't really done any of this since we talked about it. But obviously I still have the urge to. Do you think once we move in together (in less than a month) my urge to be masculine both for her and for myself will win out, or will this always be with me like an addiction? That's how I've always viewed it. An Addiction. I know there's nothing wrong with wanting to do these things, but some part of me fights it aggressively, not because I don't think I should, but because that part of me doesn't want to. I'm so torn :(
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this is a decision that you need to make for yourself. you cant make a decision like this based on anything but how YOU feel about. dont worry about being masculine enough for your girlfriend. dont try to fool yourself into thinking that the urges will go away. when it does, dont try to fight it. that will only cause more problems in the end.

and please dont think of your feminine urges as an addiction. for some it may be, but those cases are rare. if you can go a week without getting dressed up, its not an addiction. im sure your capable of putting it aside for a wile, but no one i've heard of that has such desires has managed to suppress them completely.

i would say the best thing to do is take all your girly and baby things and put them up in a safe, secure, but easily accessible place. you dont have to be a sissie all the time. you can put that part of yourself away for a wile when you want to, but sooner or later its gonna pop back up.

what ever you do, DO NOT throw anything away. purging can only end badly. someday when the girly urges return you'll deeply regret throwing everything away. i know i have on more than one occasion. i've lost many of my favorite pieces that way.
i am brittany her royal puffiness!!!

im officially in love with the color pink.

*hugs and kisses for all*
Well put bwitanny ^_^. In addition to what she said I duggest talking about these feelings with your girlfreind, explain to her your dilema. As long as you tell her the complete truth you should be alright. Just relax, follow your your feelings, do what feels right. I have had to go through a war very similar to this in my own head as well, you don't have to pin yourself down to one thing sweetie. Just relax and don't think to hard about it, let your emotions be your guide. *huggles*
Anybody want to chat about anything just ask and i'll be there. Hugs and Kisses to all and to all a good night.
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