unable to come out, need help

Azencar

Posted on November 21st, 2010 ~ 6:45 am

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hey, all... i seriously need help. i wasn't sure where to put this, but this seemed like a good place. i'm a sissy LGAB who lives in an area known as the Bible Belt, an area where deviation from what is known as "standard sexual behavior" is pretty much unspoken taboo. i was raised in a methodist household, and my father has an awful temper and a tendancy to deny it. i want to come out, but i'm terrified of the results. my mother would be ashamed and try convincing me out of it, just like with my bisexuality and transsexuality, her boyfriend, who is sometimes a better father-figure than my real father, would claim he knew me better than i do and say i'm not an LGAB like he tried convincing me i'm straight, my younger brother would taunt and insult me, and my father, who doesn't even know i'm trans, would possibly disown me or try ignoring the "problem" out of existance like he tried with my sexuality...

i truely do want to come out, but i don't want to end up isolating myself from anyone who's ever cared about me (other than my boyfriend and a few of my very accepting friends). i need help badly. it hurts keeping it in. i cried myself to sleep last night, and am on the verge of doing so again tonight. but i know that i'll only bring in pain to replace the pain of keeping it in if i come out, which just makes it hurts that much more.

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littlemissalexis

Posted November 21st, 2010 ~ 1:59 pm

In the worst cause scenero everyone you care about begins to isolate you. Do you think that would make you sader than keeping it a secret since you know already how keeping it a secret feels?

On the plus side even if they get upset after telling them giving time to think about it they might begin to tolerate or even accept it.

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Ethereal

Posted November 21st, 2010 ~ 11:00 pm

Do you live on your own? Are you financially independent? If not and you are still living at home coming out has the potential to backfire badly due to the situation you describe, especially with your father. If you are out on your own and you tell them, what are they going to do about it? But if you aren't and you are still living under their roof things have the potential to get very awkward and uncomfortable for you.

If you absolutely must come out (and in your case it sounds rather vital), I suggest having somebody in your corner when you do. When I came out as transgendered to my parents I had my therapist mediate the discussion and it helped immensely. Your parents might be hesitant to listen to you, but they might be able to take it in better if you are being backed up by somebody with a degree and loads of experience.

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Azencar

Posted November 22nd, 2010 ~ 1:53 am

thanks for the advice. i still live with my mother and younger brother, but have a well-paying job and, due to my father no-longer paying child-support for me since i've graduated highschool, live as a tenant in the room that i've lived in my entire life (aside from every other weekend since my parents' divorce). however, if getting help from my therapist would decrease the chances of the reactions i believe will happen, (aside from my brother and my mom's boyfriend, those two are stuborn as mules) then i guess i've got no better options. thank you so much. i'll post again after i come out to let you know how things turn out. ^^

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sissypissy

Posted November 23rd, 2010 ~ 4:12 am

but i know that i'll only bring in pain to replace the pain of keeping it in if i come out, which just makes it hurts that much more.

yah I been there n done that befor. it does hurt.

wish I could help. but I cant cuz my parents excepted my girly ways since I was young teen.
and I really think them for it.

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wittle_bwittany

Posted November 27th, 2010 ~ 6:01 am

my parents found out kind of by accident. my sister found a pair of her panties in my room and freaked out so bad the entire neighborhood could have heard her. needless to say, things were very awkward and none to happy between me and the rest of them family for a long time.

but the good news is that it did eventually calm down and everyone just kind of ignored my crossdressing ways and some even pretended it never happened.

once you come out, things will be so much easier on you, trust me, i've been there. it will get worse before it gets better, but thats just what you gotta do.

i hope things go well for you. let us know how it went.

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