She's known since I was like 6 that I was pretty fem, much rather play with my sister's dolls than cars and stuff. And didn't really encourage it. Lots of my past has been kinda repressed and blocked off but the pieces I can sort through aren't really encouraging. I remember seeing therapists and stuff that had the goal of trying to 'cure' me rather than understand which really has caused some blocks later on in my transitioning. I'm actually more afraid to walk out of the house in a skirt than I am to play with a gasoline fire... heh...
But I figure the best way to work through some of these demons is to flat out confront her and give her a piece of my mind. We haven't spoken in like 6 years after she dumped me in Arizona with a pile of school loans and my dad had to help bail me out. I still have the defaulted loans but at least I'm not stranded in Arizona. Prove to myself that she's a lying manipulative bitch and everything that she's told me isn't true and there is no reasonable reason to be afraid of her or her lies...
She says she's gone through counseling and is better and wants to apologize for the pain she's caused me and that nothing can make up for that... but she has a LONG and, illustrious history of telling people what they want to hear in order to get what they want so I'm not really buying that one. I learned a lot of my manipulative tricks from her and have used them to goad her into coming up. Her and my sister were going to come up in October of last year for some type of a reconciliation but that got called off when I tried to make it clear that I didn't want to talk about the TG angle first and she was like well if you won't talk I won't come I don't want to see the fake face you show to the rest of the world. I wear makeup to work, I'm not sure how 'fake' my face is compared to my 'true' face that I wear in the house but whatever. But now the challenge is issued and she will be taking some time off of work at some point deal with me.
Yea I say deal with me because I have no intentions of sitting down nicly and talking to her, if she wants civility she's going to have to prove it. I intend to treat it like the end game boss fight and come out flying with every mental attack in my arsenal keeping her off balance and pummeling her into submission. It's kind of ironic given that I'm pretty submissive myself and prefer to be a baby or toddler over any kind of adult, and I'm pretty sure she's half the reason for that but, this isn't just any fight, it's the ultimate showdown between mother and daughter. I have no doubt that it will be something out of a Lifetime Movie of the week, I'll make sure to make another post attached to this one after the dust settles
Luv for now, just wanted to get this off my chest while I'm still pumped.
warm, wet, and happy. I love being in my diapers!
