I Told One Of My Best Friends... advice on coming out to others

NotSoButchBelinda

I'm nervous about the questions they'll ask

Posted on January 19th, 2010 ~ 11:33 pm

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I'm not entirely out of the closet with him, but he knows now that I've always had a yearning to be femme, but had never gotten up the courage before. Of course, I guess I knew he'd be pretty accepting, he's gay and it's not like a girl wanting to be pretty is really that unusual, but I knew he'd be surprised as we've known one another a very long time, and has never seen me display even the slightest feminine tendency.

As expected I did reaaaally surprise him, but he was happy to go shopping with me, and help me with hair and makeup and all that sort of thing.

I'd like to tell more people in my life, but I'm scared about what sort of questions they'll ask, and how to answer them. I'm also pretty shy about how I look all prettied up and could use some ego boosters to convince me I make a pretty femme.

Turn this Tomboy into a princess, please?

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Wannabe_Baby

Posted January 19th, 2010 ~ 11:44 pm

That's nice. Maybe it'll reassure some others who are keen to tell their friends that they enjoy being feminine. Although, as you said, it's different for a girl than it is for a boy, I think your advice is pretty sound.

When it concerns telling more people in your life, I think the best thing to do would be to take it slowly. One step at a time. I think it would be best to turn up with a more feminine hairstyle one day, then do nothing the next few times you see them, then start to wear a more feminine piece of clothing the next time, and so on. Ease them into it, as well as yourself. There's no rush. ^_^ Maybe, if you want to drop a few hints to them, to make it come as less of a surprise, you could say things like "I think I could use a new hairstyle" or "I might try some makeup, for a change". You can probably tell that I'm not too knowledgeable on the subject but those are just examples. ^_^

Good luck.

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OopsiePanty

Posted January 20th, 2010 ~ 8:16 pm

I hope you take no offence in me saying this, but that is so cute.

I really hope that you are given some space to explore this side of yourself. Or maybe it is time to begin a change in your whole life. Change is often scary like you pretty much said and it can be impossible to tell how other people will react to it. If they really love you, they will stick by you, even if they are apart from you for a period of time while their brain adjusts.

I wish you the best sweetie and I hope you make many friends here.

A young girl's greatest fear isn't monsters, or magical threats from beyond time and space.
No, a young girl's greatest fear overshadows all of those things.

Her greatest fear is to be alone.

(Still your little Guardian Shadow, now just with wings!)

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littlegirl_inside

Posted January 20th, 2010 ~ 8:55 pm

Having the courage to 'come' out like that is something you should be very proud of. Change is daunting but you would be suprised how quickly most people adjust. With regards to other people, just be honest, you like being girlie and want to explore it. I agree with Wannabe_Baby, take it slowly, you dont have to make a sudden dramatic gesture, but remember you are not doing anything wrong so there is no need to ever feel you need to hide this new part of you away. I came out to a girl friend (not girlfriend if that makes sence) and she was great, gave me a warm positive feeling. Whatever happens you will always have friends here to help you.

*hugs*
Samantha
x x x

Samantha

~cliques~

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P-chan

Posted January 20th, 2010 ~ 10:31 pm

Hey Belinda, not sure that I can add much more to Wannabe_baby, OopsiePanty and Littlegirl_inside but agree with everything they say. It is important to take your time and not do anything with haste. You're in a different position to me about who / what you are, but coming out is not easy: you should not do anything you don't feel comfortable with nor should you think that you have to tell anyone. It's your choice who you tell, what you tell them and when. My mistake was to think that I wasn't in charge of the process but that's rubbish. It's your call; you make it when you're good and ready and not before. xxxx

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becomingkatie

Posted January 23rd, 2010 ~ 4:47 pm

cool it is good to have at least one person you can trust with out tearing you down. Wish I had someone like that i could confine in.
very happy for you.

katie

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