Afterwards as she was cuddling me before we went to sleep she told me that she was
displeased because I do not show enough appreciation for all her efforts to make me a pretty and a perfect sissy. She told me that today I must show this appreciation in a big new way. If I do this well enough she promised to let me rub my tinkee while I was nursing at her breast. If I do not do it well enough I will get a medium spanking which will make me cry.
While surfing some of my favorite Sissy sites I found a wonderful new way to show my appreciation. I copied a letter another sissy has written that perfectly expresses my gratitude and desire to be obedient to
Mommy. Here it is in case you want to do the same.
Dearest Mommy,
Thank you for sharing that I am not showing enough gratitude for the wonder full life you are making for me, Your words, and attention, do thrill me.
I do want you to understand what I feel .. both the exquisite pleasure and the profound shame. The growing awareness that I make a far better sissy-girl than I ever did a boy .. and the implications that understanding entail.
I never intended it would go this far .. but as time passes I realize this is more than just a 'hobby', a sexual 'kink' .. that it arose not specifically to be a girl but from a deep-seated uncertainty about myself as a boy.
The evolution has taken time .. each immersion strengthening the association between being girlie and with pleasure and comfort and self .. each surrender to my weakness and addiction strengthening that uncertainty that I have any right to live or love or be perceived as anything but the most effeminate and submissive of sissy-
girls.
It is an evolution I seem incapable of stopping .. many do, but for reasons of personality I seem unable to. Perhaps it is a need for emotional clarity, an inability to live with the confusion of two worlds ..
And yes, I .. who once felt I had no sexual leanings of this sort .. find myself thrilled and validated that I am capable of arousing you as your sissy-girl, that I am able to satisfy you in a way that I felt deep inside I was incapable of satisfying a woman.
A soft, submissive receptacle for you .. each act of submission a reminder of everything you are .. and I am not.
The desire for shame .. which so few understand and overlie with tones of negativity .. is such a part of that. I crave it, hunger for it .. lingering in the background .. never allowing me to escape fully into imagining I am a real girl, always a reminder that I am a feminized boy, a sissy .. that what I've become I fully deserve to have become.
I want you to appreciate how every aspect of being a girl excites me in a way no real man would be excited .. how it thrills and shames me to gaze on my soft, hairless effeminate body .. how my clitty helplessly responds to the simple act of rolling sheer hose over my soft legs, how I adore the sight and feel of the lace-trimmed straps of my bra biting into my soft shoulders, the staccato click of my heels as I walk, the hem of my skirt swaying about my knees, the floral scent that envelops me, the texture and taste of the ruby red lipstick
How I am helpless to avoid the narcissistic masochism that has become my world .. how my sense of validation and fulfillment has become totally dependent on you .. that kneeling to serve you is more than a sexual act but a confirmation of our respective roles in the world, that I have value and am valued even if for this.
I miss you too so very much .. and hope to see you so very soon.
Love,
PETAL
When I curtsied and gave it to Mommy I was so excited that I had a little leak and put a spot on my pink panties. Mommy noticed my excitement and after she had read the letter she gave me a little compliment and said that if I post this on SissKiss and get two girly or baby comments I will be allowed to nurse and make a sticky. Please, Please comment.
