Coming out
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I've been thinking about coming out to one of my best friends (which is a girl) I need help! I've been thinking about maybe telling her some of the story, and then maybe explaining the rest that I'm transgendered! I need help! I dont know how to come about to it, and how she would handle the situation. She does talk alot and I would hope to a dear promise it wouldn't be spread, and thats what slightly worries me, but more that how she'll handle it.

Anyone? Similiar situations?
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If this is a friendship rather than a relationship, one would hope she will at least be in no danger of feeling threatened or undervalued (The dreadful fear when coming out to a lover or spouse). All the same, I would gauge her views on the subject, if possible. If you know beforehand that her attitude to TG issues is liberal, it will make it easier for you, and if you know that her attitude is hostile, it's probably best to leave well alone.

Only you can know how much of a talker she is, but if she is one of your best friends I would certainly hope that she will respect your wishes.

I really hope this goes well for you. I know how daunting a step it is.
"When you adopt the standards and the values of someone else or a community or a pressure group, you surrender your own integrity. You become, to the extent of your surrender, less of a human being." (Eleanor Roosevelt)
sissy heather
Hi JenGurl. As you may have noticed in the thread above I came out to my wife a few days ago and it went very well. I think timing is the key. We have been married three years, and if I had told her during the first year, it would not have gone so well, but after growing closer I found the right time-frame to tell her where she wouldn't have been freaked out and I wouldn't have gone crazy waiting any longer. Try and judge where you are with her now and if your friendship is strong enough to withstand this right now. If you decide it is the right time, check out a few of the posts in the 'coming out to wife' thread started by me, some great people gave great advice.


If the relationship is purely friendship orientated then I would think it would be easier. For one she may be flattered you have trusted her with something so personal and want to help. Trust is very important and when given can bring people closer. I do agree with both Andreea and Sissy Heather, I think broaching the subject will help gauge how she feels about it.

It also comes down to how you tell her. Rather than making it sound like some awful dark secret (which it isn't) make it come across as you opening up who you really are inside and letting her know that person. You are still you, that same person she knows, but much more and you want her to share this and be a part of it.

I came out to a girl who was a friend. We had a purely frienship based relationship, although there was a 'nearly got together' moment but that passed. When I told her she was great and she now knows all about me. She understands that the guy she had known for many years is really just a pansy and she is fine with that. It's wonderful for me to be able to express my sissiness, be the real me to her and have someone to confide with.

It's a risk coming out to someone, opening up, but sometimes in life you need to take some risks. I hope if you do come out to her it works out for you and don't forget we are all here for you if you need us.

x x x


sissy heather
Hey JenGurl, how's it going? Another thing you might want to try is to test your friend with another secret that you don't mind people knowing. If it gets back around to you, you'll know that she'll probably tell people the other one too. Let us know how things are going, I wish you the best of luck and the best possible outcome, whether that means telling her or not.

Hey girls! Thanks for all your help and sorry I didn't reply earlier! (I haven't gotten online much any more) I told her and it seemed to be ok! Hopefully no problems, but she seems pretty understanding. Thank you all for your help and advice. :)

(Sissy Heather, I love your icon! Its so cute! Do you know what kind or where those panties came from? They're really cute, I like them)

Dear JenGirl,

I'm glad it worked out for you!

While it's a moot point for Jen, if any of you are in a similar situation ... you're not sure if a friend can keep your secret ... listen to what your friend says about OTHER people.

Does he/she tell you things about them that they wouldn't want known?

Does he/she often prefix a juicy bit of gossip with, "This is just between us, but ..."?

If so, then the odds that are your friend will blab your secrets too. And she'll think that's okay, because she'll only tell her closest friends, and she'll tell them not to tell anyone else.
sissy heather
Hi Jen! I'm glad everything worked out ok. Who knows, maybe you can swap makeup tips and fashion advice with her now, that is one of the best parts of having a girl know your secret. As for the icon, it was just one of the standard ones you could pick from the 'my sissy space' page - I wish I knew where to get those panties, but even more so I wish my butt looked that nice!

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