Serious discussion of fetish crossdressing

Von

Posted on May 15th, 2010 ~ 9:08 am

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I don't see a place at Sissykiss specifically for serious discussion or examination of what we are, how it relates to or crosses into other similar activities/lifestyles/disorders, as the case may be.

I see those discussions on some crossdressing sites, but they don't generally seem inclined to accept fetish crossdressers. One site there was a guy being called a pervert because he got erotic feelings or pleasure from dressing. But then I come back here (which I like) but most people seem to be in fantasy mode (it IS a fantastic place). I understand.

But what's the solution for someone who is trying to figure out what they are? My dressing began with fetish fantasies a few weeks ago. I don't really have desire to wear a wig or makeup & go around as a woman in daily life. but my feelings are evolving. I certainly still get a rush from it, but it doesn't seem limited to erotic anymore... And I find myself doing things that go beyond dress. On the other hand, when I'm busy and just trying to get through the day, I feel normal as a man. I want to know what I am, what feeding this fantasy might get me, if and how I can stop. And so on.

I understand if this is primarily or solely a place for fantasy, fun, and less serious exploration. At least part of me is a little sissy, at least for now. But there may be more or less to it. I need to find that out. I may go to therapy, but I also want another more sympathetic perspective, and perhaps some insight elsewhere. So:

A. Is there/will there be a place for this sort of discussion here? (am I overlooking it)?

B. Are there other places that better fit that bill? (where)

C. In addition to adult little girls or sissies, what do you consider yourselves? Crossdressers? Transvestites? Transgendered? Transexual? Gay? Some combination of those? None of the above?

Thanks for listening, and for any clarification, insight, or direction you can provide!

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ashie

Posted May 15th, 2010 ~ 11:30 am

I don't really have desire to wear a wig or makeup & go around as a woman in daily life. but my feelings are evolving. I certainly still get a rush from it, but it doesn't seem limited to erotic anymore... And I find myself doing things that go beyond dress. On the other hand, when I'm busy and just trying to get through the day, I feel normal as a man.
nobody forces you to be one or the other, just do whatever makes you happy, to whatever extent you want to.

I want to know what I am, what feeding this fantasy might get me, if and how I can stop. And so on.

only you know who or what you are, and if you enjoy it, why on earth would you stop it? Would you stop eating tasty foods too, in fear of "where it may lead"?

I understand if this is primarily or solely a place for fantasy, fun, and less serious exploration.

Actually this is primarily a community site where people are encouraged to be themselves, focused mainly on a particular genre of lifestyle, feelings, and wishes. We just happen to having lots of fun, cause thats what life is about ^.^

I need to find that out. I may go to therapy,

if you feel therapy will help you out, by all means, but understand that there is nothing WRONG with being who you are.

A. Is there/will there be a place for this sort of discussion here? (am I overlooking it)?
The TG section would be your best bet? (bottom of forums)

C. In addition to adult little girls or sissies, what do you consider yourselves? Crossdressers? Transvestites? Transgendered? Transexual? Gay? Some combination of those? None of the above?

Thats a very broad question to the forum as a whole, which NOBODY here is qualified to answer because we're all different people. I'm personally NOT an adult little girl, i'm a TGirl who enjoys pacifiers, the occasional diaper, and baby play with some very special people. I'm only a "sissy" to the extent of havin a big sister or 2, i actually dress much more age appropriate(nothing WRONG with dressing up as a sissy or ALG, im just stating personal preference so he understands we arent all cookie cutter)

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littlegirl_inside

Posted May 15th, 2010 ~ 11:47 am

I guess you could have put this in girlie advice, but I will see if I can answer some of your questions *hugs*

I don't know if there is any soloution to finding out about yourself, there is no guide to crossdressing that will tell you what you are. The thing is everyone is unique in how they deal and persive their sissiness/fetish/crossdressing, all you can do is find out what feels right to you.

You hit upon one thing that your feelings are evolving. They always will. What you don't need to do is put yourself into a group, or label yourself if it doesn't feel right to do so. Also your desires do not make you any less of a man than any other man, there is no reason you cannot balance the two. Of course that doesn't happen for everyone, but there are many many TV's/sissies/crossdressers who function as men in everyday life, are happy being men and who like to dress up every now and then.

For me, growing up, I was this average boy who liked girls clothes. As I got older I thought I was a TV, I dressed in my mums clothes and loved being a woman, but I had this childish side too and in my early 20's I discovered that rather being a TV I was a sissy. To me that meant I was sissy no matter what I wore, mens or womens clothes, where as a TV was a man who dressed as a woman, but when dressed as a man was a man, but when I am dressed as a man I am still a sissy, not effeminate but my sissiness is ever present.

But more important for me is that I am an adult little girl, this is the core of who I am. This is not about dressing up for sexual relief, this is about being a little girl, acting like a little girl, being a child again. In essence for me, I am more child inside than adult and being a little girl is so very important to my happiness.

You will find you fit into different groups and that is fine, you will evolve, you will like some things, not others. Don't stress trying to find all the answers, the why's, just accept and try to enjoy because you cannot switch off those feelings.

If you ever want to chat just pm me x x x

Samantha

~cliques~

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Dru

Posted May 16th, 2010 ~ 2:28 am

Wow there was a lot to your post so not sure where to start really

As far as where to post it umm I don't really think there is an ideal place to put it so where ever you wish and think is the most appropriate works. I woudl say random chat works fine If you start a thread like that I'm not sure what sorta responses you will get. Yes this is a place for fantasy and light hearted things but also remember about the wide variety of people that use sissykiss so who knows what will happen until you try and what sort of responses might appear.

As far as other places might go I have no clue so sorry I can not help. I have never really found a great online group/forum for Crossdressing or Trans issues and sorta gave up all hope. Like you mentioned that you came across others who treated a person who got sexual pleasure from dressing very rudely I have encountered much of this. I know the internet can bring out the worst in people since there is no accountability but its just sad when groups of people do this to their own people who already feel alienated and maybe depressed.

Like I said earlier sissykiss is so diverse that I am not sure what you mean by "what do you consider yourselves?" At sissykiss theres every gender and sexual orientation and interest or fetish really. Me personally I would call myself a trans person with lil girl interests. Its just a fun thing to do every once in a while dress and act younger than I am. I love feeling comfortable and secure and acting younger and dependent is soothing for me. However at the same time I do like some lil girl things all the time that aren't typical of a person my age like Hello Kitty and cutesy/addictive pop things. And in general I have the attitude of not wanting to grow up. I love disney and Pixar movies, fantasy and fairy tales, love to read and explore and try not to act and think like a grown up and just enjoy life which children do best.

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Sis_C

Posted May 16th, 2010 ~ 3:03 am

I know there have been several different random chats, and other posts where people posted the same type ideas/questions. I myself did the same thing when I first got there, more to try to get a feel as to what other people felt, thought and did, a major reason for this community. As for discussions on sexuality and fetishism, there are always ongoing discussions. I personally look forward to posts like this, it gives me a chance to explore my own sexuality and personality, as well as get a better understanding of what it is that makes us the way we are.
By joining this site, and making a post like this one, and participating in others, your on your way to better understanding yourself and others. I have found that while many people and I share a lot of the same ideas and thoughts, we still differ on the ways we have arrived at where we are. That is to say that like myself, the experiences of our pasts shape who we are today. For myself, I started dressing when I was 4, not really knowing what I was doing, I remember that my sister had these little pink plastic panties, that I use to squeeze into when starting when I was 4 and went on till I was caught when I was 5. That ended it for those plastic panties, but the dressing did not finish there, I use to play dress up with my sister and her friends until I was almost 7, at which point I got scared that kids in school would find out and I would be even more of an outcast than I already was. Its not that I stopped dressing, I borrowed my mom's and sister's panties, I unfortunately ruined a couple of my mom's stockings, by making runs in them. Oppps, didn't know any better until she realized that someone was wearing them, and it wasn't my sister. I remember acting like I was sick so I could spend the day home alone wearing my mom's and sisters clothes, panties, and masturbating constantly lol That was from around 9 to 13, then I stopped for awhile. Mostly because in High school, I was scared shitless of being found out.
Anyway, that was my foray into Crossdressing. That still does not explain, the sexuality of the situation. It is way deeper than just a love of the clothes, or even a sexual thrill for me. While I do have a very strong sexual association with female clothing, and I imagine alot of us do, I do not believe that is the sole reason for my love of female clothes. I attribute alot of the sexual association with the fact that during the years of sexual development and the use of female clothes on a regular basis, the clothes-sexuality relationship is a by product of that rather than a a direct cause effect relationship. Also, when trying to be feminine, by wearing females clothes you can be just that, and there is the association of girl's sexuality and girls clothings, especially with panties. I have always fantasized about being a girl. For as long as I can remember, I have always felt that there Is a girl trapped inside me. This made me constantly question my own sexuality, and it still does, but at least now, that I am older and I do not feel as confined by society, (I still do, but not like when I was a kid and teenager) so this is allowing me to explore my own sexuality. I can say, I am not sexually attracted to men generally, but on the other hand I dream, fantasize and wish that I would be treated like the girl I want to be. I have always been attracted to women though, I have and still do get turned on by girls, and vaginas, but at the same time, I also like the TG/TV girls, and even some men in drag turn me on, if they are passable as a female.

I love all things feminine, I adore little girl and sissy looks, Love wearing diapers, I love wearing sexy lingerie, But none of this defines who I am. I feel different when I am in femme, I am happier, and there is something else there I can not quite put my finger on, a lightness like weight is missing. That is untill the reality of my situation (I am a boy) comes back to me.
Honesty this is such complex and deep subject, that keeping train of thought through writing things like this is hard, so forgive me if its a little long and doesn't make sense sometimes.

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Von

Posted May 16th, 2010 ~ 5:57 am

Thanks. There are such sweet and thoughtful people here.

I should clarify that I do understand that although everyone one here has something in common, we are all unique. In fact, when I ask what you consider yourself in addition to a sissy - I expect a different answer from everybody. I hope learning about others might help me understand myself. Plus I just like hearing your stories - it makes me feel less alone to know others feel or have been through similar things.

As far as accepting what I am - that sounds good, but I have to figure out what that is first. I didn't want to dress in girls clothes when I was young (as far as I recall) so this is a new and sudden thing (the dressing at least). I also worry that if I accept it completely it will make life much harder. Though it does feel really good. I wish I could explore it without worrying about the consequences. Maybe that's what I'll end up doing. I'm just trying to figure it out.

Anyway, thanks again for the thoughtful answers. It helps.

Von

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ashie

Posted May 16th, 2010 ~ 10:50 am

If you DO enjoy it, and feel urges to dress and you supress them it could actually make life harder than just going with it. It would be much more stressful and distracting.

"I'm...all alone. But I'm doing my best... I'll be ok without you, Sis. I'll be able to take care of myself." ~Squall

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clarisselovelace

Posted May 16th, 2010 ~ 2:44 pm

"At least part of me is a little sissy, at least for now. But there may be more or less to it. I need to find that out. I may go to therapy"

It sounds to me like you're genuinely concerned with the negative aspects of who you might become if you further develop your sissy interests. Perhaps you should talk to a professional about it. The first real step in my opinion is realizing that just because what you like is different that doesn't make it wrong.

I think the lack of "serious" discussion for this topic can be attributed to the overwhelming acceptance of these actions by everyone here. Most everyone on this site has gone through the phase where they try to deny what they're feeling or ignore it. I too have done this. But I always end up back where I started. Why? Because it's a part of who I am. It's something I've always enjoyed and been interested in and I'm not going to make apologies about who I am anymore.

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Dru

Posted May 16th, 2010 ~ 8:02 pm

Already this is an amazing topic I think. Just talking about these things can be really beneficial for people. Even sometimes when we don't mean necessarily to say something profound we can come across something that I think is very powerful and true like clarisselovelace

"I think the lack of "serious" discussion for this topic can be attributed to the overwhelming acceptance of these actions by everyone here. Most everyone on this site has gone through the phase where they try to deny what they're feeling or ignore it. I too have done this. But I always end up back where I started. Why? Because it's a part of who I am. It's something I've always enjoyed and been interested in and I'm not going to make apologies about who I am anymore. "

I think there is a lot of truth in that about how it is a part of us and exploring it and embracing ourselves and all parts of us is very healthy and rewarding and I hope this thread continues on and others might pop up too. Of course to some it might not be that big of a deal but others who might be newer/struggling/confused/curious about their situation might find these topics very beneficial it just depends on the person and where they are in coming to terms with this part of their lives but I think the more people sharing pieces of their own lives with us the better

Anyways I talk too much so I will stop now but will check in later

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