O, so confused.

RedHeadBunny

Posted July 31st, 2009 ~ 6:05 am

Hi! I just wanted to say that being a (born) female that I enjoy things like video games and other "masculine activities" so if that's a point of confusion don't stress over it because everyone is different. Even if you find you don't fit a specific label perfectly that doesn't make your wants/needs any less valid and I'm pretty certain that doesn't make you crazy. Just relax and don't let your head pop off and burst into flames that would hurt!

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OopsiePanty

Posted July 31st, 2009 ~ 6:42 am

Ok my head is going pop and burst into flame. Let me first tell you abit about my self. When I was 12 years old I first felt like I wanted to be a girl. After much debating with my self I told my dad (mom died a year before) what I was feeling. He sent me to a therapists for "help". Acording to the therapists I was just confused about my place in life and that I wasn't transgender. I let the matter rest for a few years even though I didn't agree with him. But by now, I'm 18 and I still feel the same way. Like if I could push a butten and become female I would. I dress as a guy and enjoy masculine activitys like sports, video games ( shooters and stuff like that), medieval combate, and stuff like that. This confuses me even more although I have read on this thread that im not the only one like that. Also im as not gay so if I transision I would become lesbin. Please do you have any advice or help? Am I crazy, for reall, or just faking myself?

No, it is perfectly fine to be a female who like "male" things. I love amtgard, paintball, video games, transformers, but I also love fairys and playing house and coloring. No activity really has a gender attached to it, only ignorant people have labeled them as gendered activities.

You will probably feel lesbian at first when you transition but after some years you'll probably find out where your orientation really lies.

A young girl's greatest fear isn't monsters, or magical threats from beyond time and space.
No, a young girl's greatest fear overshadows all of those things.

Her greatest fear is to be alone.

(Still your little Guardian Shadow, now just with wings!)

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CKgirl

Posted July 31st, 2009 ~ 7:27 am

Aw emily I can't tell which way to go but I can give you some things to think about.
You need to take some time and figure what it is about the fem side that draws you the
most. Could you live the rest of your life without it.

I myself knew something was wrong at 5, at 7 I figured out what. I tried to tell my parents
and like any good parents they didn't get what I was saying and told me I was a boy and
that would never change. Spent the next 5years in daydreams. At twelve I started to
thinking about suicide. I don't mean I had a thought or two about it. I mean since 12 I
can't remember a single day I haven't thought about killing myself. It wasn't till I was 19
and I was living on my own with highspd internet I found that there were options. Until
then I had only seen drag queens, TVs, and very bad looking TGs which I knew I couldn't
be. By the time I was 21 I had researched enough into to transgender to know everything
I would have to do. I didn't do anything about it though. I thought I wouldn't make a passable
woman and I didn't think I was a strong enough person to handle the transition. Other than how
much I hated myself, everything else was so easy for me. Grades, women,
sports, friends. I decided I would just try and force myself to forget who I was inside.
I wasn't drawn to clothes or makeup or any of those things. I think theyre great, but theyre
icing on the cake, if theres no cake theres no point. So for four years I went on being everyones
favorite guy. Then one day I finally decided enough was enough. I could no longer live a
lie. I couldn't be a female, and I couldn't live as a man. The guilt of what it would do to
those I loved that kept me from doing this at any point in the previous 13 years gave way
to pain so it was decided I would end my life. I Quit my job, paid all my bills off for the next two months.
I spent those months having the best time I could with my friends, slowly giving everything to charities.
I wrote letters out to every one I cared about. Watched the sun rise one last time and then it was off to
the great sleep for me. When I ended up not dead. I was put into a psyche ward. Week later I came out.
Told everyone the problem and I began very slowly working on trimming back the pain and transitioning.
I'm very upfront in who I am now. All of my friends and family know. I'm still living as a man most
of the time, like I said makeup, clothes etc, actually make me feel less feminine if I see myself
in them. I've been on hormones three months, and though its calming, as is talking to you gals.
I am in more pain than when I tried to kill myself. None of the drugs or therapy help except
the high dose lithium and then I can barely move about the day. I hate myself even more.
I keep trying though. I think my height aside I could make a very passable woman.

Now I am sorry I had to put you through that super long read, about me. I just wanted you.
to understand you can have every advantage in life, but if you fight the person your mind
tells you that you have to be. None of it will be worth anything. Don't make my mistake
deal with this right now. I let it get so bad, that even now, when I'm making progress
and I have the support of nearly all of my friends and family I still spend everyday trying not
to kill myself. Don't let what you like determine who you are. Be who you feel you need to be. Sports are fun
video games are fun, and women are the most beautiful thing on the planet. Your gender
won't change those things. Be who you are on the inside, don't hide it away til it hollows you out.

Sorry again for being so longwinded, best of luck to ya honey <3

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OopsiePanty

Posted July 31st, 2009 ~ 8:18 pm

Aw emily I can't tell which way to go but I can give you some things to think about.............*snip*

Awesome reply.

A young girl's greatest fear isn't monsters, or magical threats from beyond time and space.
No, a young girl's greatest fear overshadows all of those things.

Her greatest fear is to be alone.

(Still your little Guardian Shadow, now just with wings!)

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Sissy sarah

Posted August 1st, 2009 ~ 8:27 am

Ok my head is going pop and burst into flame. Let me first tell you abit about my self. When I was 12 years old I first felt like I wanted to be a girl. After much debating with my self I told my dad (mom died a year before) what I was feeling. He sent me to a therapists for "help". Acording to the therapists I was just confused about my place in life and that I wasn't transgender. I let the matter rest for a few years even though I didn't agree with him. But by now, I'm 18 and I still feel the same way. Like if I could push a butten and become female I would. I dress as a guy and enjoy masculine activitys like sports, video games ( shooters and stuff like that), medieval combate, and stuff like that. This confuses me even more although I have read on this thread that im not the only one like that. Also im as not gay so if I transision I would become lesbin. Please do you have any advice or help? Am I crazy, for reall, or just faking myself?

Hi sweetie

let me introduce my self im a Pre OP going on Post op (gonna start my hormones next year hopfully ) Swedish transsexual woman

Okey First i would suggest you try to contact a local or national TG (trans gender ) support group there are ALLOT of them on the net sweetie. And TALK to them and ASK ALLOT of questions about all this . Also like you did in here Ask in here too. As you see there are ALLOT of different persons and answers depending how sed person believe that her life has been

What you also should do is to search the net fore ALL info regarding transsexualism.

Then Also try to find out WHAT is is it about the woman life you like dear ? Example 1 is it the Silky underwear and the NICE skirts and blouses with the GORGEOUS high heel stilettos, And the Glorious feeling to have that WONDERFUL make-up on and so on

Example 2 OR is it that you rely feel like you are a woman caught in a mans body and you cant see your self living this lie anymore . AND you are fully (i mean FULLY mentally prepared to live the rest of your life JUST as a woman in ALL shapes and forms be regarded and treated as a woman (although you still have your interests ) il get to that part

What i ve done hear is NOT to hurt you dear. What ive done is to label transvestism (the first example )

And the second is transsexualism So that YOU your self can have something to think of

Now as All have sed before me having the interests that you have is NOT a Gender question AT ALL and does do NOT make you crazy

In this world we have wimen that likes to do Manly things and boys that likes the feminine stuff (However it WRONG that different interests are label d manly and feminine ) so in answer to your last question NO you're NOT crazy

And as fore you have to be homosexual to be a transsexual woman

NO same thing here in this world of TG (transgender ) we have both lesbians ,homosexualism , heterosexuality and EVERYTHING in between JUST like reel life dear

Feel free to message me if you want to talk about this more privately dear and my life is an open book (just go in my Sissy space )

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Schlangedame

Posted August 2nd, 2009 ~ 10:26 pm

Hi! I just wanted to say that being a (born) female that I enjoy things like video games and other "masculine activities" so if that's a point of confusion don't stress over it because everyone is different. Even if you find you don't fit a specific label perfectly that doesn't make your wants/needs any less valid and I'm pretty certain that doesn't make you crazy. Just relax and don't let your head pop off and burst into flames that would hurt!

Yep, yep, exactly.

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TammyT

Posted August 3rd, 2009 ~ 2:09 pm

Well I can't advise you from what you should do but I felt the same way, and didnt do anything about it. I have had several "normal" relationships, and here I am 40 and regret it.

I am totally wrong shape to be a nice girlie anyway, you know the kind of thing, big shoulders etc, i would make a good psycho biker rugby player(well I am a biker so thats okay), but the little girl inside me has never been free, and its like feeling incomplete. Even though my life has not been unhappy, or unsuccessful in other ways. Something has always been missing.

I wish you luck and well on whatever decision you chose to go with.

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Baby Princess Emily

Posted August 3rd, 2009 ~ 5:18 pm

Thank you all so much for your replies. I know you must respond to a lot of questions like this one. Lucky my head didnt pop and burst into flames; it just fizzled a bit and went out!

My diaper is warm and squishy, my sleeper soft and comfy, and my heart content as i lay agianst my mothers breast

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Baby Princess Emily

Posted August 3rd, 2009 ~ 5:20 pm

Ive been thinking a lot about your questions this past week and to correctly answer your questions I asked my self some new questions. Q: Could I live with a female body, but only wear male cloths?A: Yes, I defiantly could. Q: Could I live full time as a female?A: I still need to think about this some more; however my answer right now would be yes I could.

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Baby Princess Emily

Posted August 3rd, 2009 ~ 5:22 pm

And now I will expand on the questions you asked me. Q: is it the Silky underwear and the NICE skirts and blouses with the GORGEOUS high heel stilettos, And the Glorious feeling to have that WONDERFUL make-up on and so on A: Well Ive never been that interested in high heels or make-up. But the clothing is pretty. Q: is it that you rely feel like you are a woman caught in a mans body and you cant see your self living this lie anymore . AND you are fully (i mean FULLY mentally prepared to live the rest of your life JUST as a woman in ALL shapes and forms be regarded and treated as a woman A: I can say as of now I am not FULLY mentally prepared to live the rest of my life JUSt as a woman. That will require time.I will update more on this later.-Thanks

My diaper is warm and squishy, my sleeper soft and comfy, and my heart content as i lay agianst my mothers breast

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Baby Princess Emily

Posted August 3rd, 2009 ~ 5:23 pm

P.S Im haveing trouble with the spacing. Thats why its in writen all mushed together.

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Sissy sarah

Posted August 3rd, 2009 ~ 6:11 pm

And now I will expand on the questions you asked me. Q: “is it the Silky underwear and the NICE skirts and blouses with the GORGEOUS high heel stilettos, And the Glorious feeling to have that WONDERFUL make-up on and so on” A: Well I’ve never been that interested in high heels or make-up. But the clothing is pretty. Q: “is it that you rely feel like you are a woman caught in a mans body and you cant see your self living this lie anymore . AND you are fully (i mean FULLY mentally prepared to live the rest of your life JUST as a woman in ALL shapes and forms be regarded and treated as a woman” A: I can say as of now I am not FULLY mentally prepared to live the rest of my life JUST as a woman. That will require time.I will update more on this later.-Thanks

Hi again hon.

Well from what yore telling me so far you might SADLY be a TS sweetie BUT as you also say your NOT quiet yet ready mentally witch is also Normal sweetie as you say your 18. SO my advice is TAKE this SLOW do NOT do ANYTHING rach im the age 38 and i got my mind ready 7 yers ago to start living as a female 24 /7 sweetie and then i hold out another 5 until i one day woke up and sed to H with this i cant live like this anymore (37 ) the normal age were MOST TS (Not all but most ) start to think of changing there sex is around 25 to 30 sweetie So as you're only 18 TAKE it NICE and SLOW sweetie and in the mean time follow my other advices dear.

Oh and just so you know this future woman is a truck driver so your gender has NOTHING to do with your interests sweetie

So what i want to say REGARDLES if you are Ts or whatever TAKE how EVER much time you need to THINK THURLY on this dear and feel free to continue ask ALL of us ALL you want and utliest i will answer ANY question you have dear. In here or by private messaging

OH and fore the record that you your self say you're NOT yet ready and the way you answer the questions tells me that you are a Bright young person that have EVERY possibility to get this sorted one way or another dear (most that i help. (other Ts ages 18 to 60 ) around the word FORE FREE ) Actually Are confused and don't know dear )

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Lynniegirl

Posted August 4th, 2009 ~ 8:04 pm

Hun. If you're feelings are strong and persistent then they are not likely to go away. I wouldn't worry about your "masculine" interests. Just cause you're a girl that doesn't mean you have to have certain interests. Also don't worry about sexual preference as that is totally separate from gender. I made a post on the forums previously with a list of gender specialists by state for those living in the US. Perhaps that may help. If you're not 100% sure then a therapist will be of help and is a necessary step in transitioning either way. Hope you have the best of luck. If i can be of any help let me know.

lynnie

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Sissy sarah

Posted August 4th, 2009 ~ 8:42 pm

Hun. If you're feelings are strong and persistent then they are not likely to go away. I wouldn't worry about your "masculine" interests. Just cause you're a girl that doesn't mean you have to have certain interests. Also don't worry about sexual preference as that is totally separate from gender. I made a post on the forums previously with a list of gender specialists by state for those living in the US. Perhaps that may help. If you're not 100% sure then a therapist will be of help and is a necessary step in transitioning either way. Hope you have the best of luck. If i can be of any help let me know.

lynnie

With all my uppermost respect Lynnie girl I sincerely HOPE that the specialists are Truly specialist on this and NOT only after money. Because i have to DAILY talk to usely young (around 18 to 25 sometimes older ) Ts girls that have gone to a specialist and are more messed up than helped. So i would only like to put in DO a thural background research on sed therapist. So that you get the help you come fore

Second we All know that Specialist counselling costs a fortune in the states so there may Also be a Money issue at this state in life . Witch is why i suggested what i did.

Finally Miss Lynnie girl i which to say i have Uppermost respect of your knowing in this area ( i have followd some threads in here And red your Sissy space ) and im Deeply impressed of your knowing and carrying in this area ) And im NOT in any way shape or form trying to step on you at all Miss. I only want to put in my two cents in this discussion so that we ALL mayby can help this young lost soule NOTHING else. So PLEASE if you do take offence feel free to Message me and il be honerd to both meet you and explain what i mean and if needed say im Sorry and mean it. As the LAST thing i EVER want to do is to hurt ANYONE in here.

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Baby Princess Emily

Posted August 5th, 2009 ~ 8:40 pm

Thank you again for you replies. Im going to take it slow right now and wait and see how my feelings develipe. I might later look into a speicalist, but ill be carfull who I pick. Thank you all for your help! And now I have a few qustions. 1. What is the process from hormones to Sexual Reassignment Surgery? 2. How much does the operation cost? 3. How much do hormones cost in general? 4. Do you need any papers to get hormones? 5. How well do hormones enhance breast growth? 6. Is there a lot of legal paperwork?

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Sissy sarah

Posted August 5th, 2009 ~ 9:26 pm

Thank you again for you replies. Im going to take it slow right now and wait and see how my feelings develipe. I might later look into a specialist, but ill be carfull who I pick. Thank you all for your help! And now I have a few qustions. 1. What is the process from hormones to Sexual Reassignment Surgery? 2. How much does the operation cost? 3. How much do hormones cost in general? 4. Do you need any papers to get hormones? 5. How well do hormones enhance breast growth? 6. Is there a lot of legal paperwork?

Glad i could be of some help dear

As fore your qestions i happily step back on those and leave it to our dear american Sissys to anwer because its different here in Sweden AND i havent yet started my hormone treatment so im not the right person to answer that qestion ether What i do know is that your breasts will start to develop (How much is also a question of your genes from your mother ) And your body fat will rearrange it self (basikly your stomach will go down and your as will get bigger and your entiere psychic and emotional life will be up side down during this process and you WILL have LOTS of mood swings. Also your skin will begin to soften .And your little thing WILL seas to function PERIOD (you will NOT be able to get a hard on again ) And your sexual lust will decrease drasticly. and your mussels will decrease and your body hair will also go down BUT to permanently remove that you need to get electrolysis oh and you might get MASSIVE headaches migraine attacks in the beggining too. SO I STRONGLY advice to NOT start taking hormones without having a doc to consult sweetie because if you OVERDOSE you can SEVERELY damage your body dear and if your to overweight you risk blood cloths and All cind of NASTY and LIFE THREATENING problems. I my self have to loose some weight before im even allowed to start on the hormones dear (working on it going down SLOWLY )

What i also want to say is Changing your gender WILL be the toughest most Emotional roller coaster of your life dear (trust me on this ) and Sadly MANY go under in the process Sadly the streets are full of pore TS wimen that goes on the streets to get money to pay fore there hormones and later SRS and get stuck in drugs in stead in USA To take THIS step as i sed before you REALLY need to be FULLY mentally prepared darling And This is NOT a magic potion that will make your life a living fairy tale ether sweetie.

As fore All your other questions i leave that with warm hands to our dear American Sissy's that knows this WAY Bether then me

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OopsiePanty

Posted August 5th, 2009 ~ 10:26 pm

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missanonymiss

Posted August 5th, 2009 ~ 10:35 pm

I myself knew something was wrong at 5, at 7 I figured out what. I tried to tell my parents
and like any good parents they didn't get what I was saying and told me I was a boy and
that would never change. Spent the next 5years in daydreams. At twelve I started to
thinking about suicide.

i had pretty much the same experience growing up.... now im 19 and planning to do something about it....

anyways... Emily there is nothing wrong with you at all...i hope you get exactly what you want from life

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Lynniegirl

Posted August 7th, 2009 ~ 8:22 pm

oopsie and sissy sarah both have given excellent information on what its like and costs. I will add that what you need for a therapist to prescribe you hormones generally varies by state. I know up here in Canada it even varies by group. One agency requires a year living full time as a female to get hormones another requires 3 months of counselling and regular check ups. As for price it tends to vary. If you're lucky they can be quite cheap however it is possible based on your body chemistry that you'll need more expensive ones. I pay roughly 100 dollars a month for mine since the cheaper androgen blockers don't work for me. At your age hormones are likely to be very effective. The figures I've always heard quoted is that best case you wanna start before puberty (very rarely happens) after that 18 is best. By 25 hormones will be about 50% as effective as they would have been at 18 and by 30 about 50% less effective than at 25. These of course are general figures. I personally have seen a 38 year old have tremendous results from hormones. For surgery the standards of care pretty much say at least a year living full time for everywhere in North America. I wouldn't worry about body hair removal until after hormones myself as they will generally help with that. Oopsie is right about pricing pretty much. I suggest doing tremendous research before surgery. The best surgeons for sexual reassignment surgery are last I read in Tailand still. This is something that you can only do once and you wanna do right. Lastly in regards to the list I posted, it contains both specialist as well as normal therapists who are known to be transfriendly. :) If you have any further questions don't hesitate to ask sweetie.

best wishes,
lynnie

P.S. dont' worry sissy sarah I took no offence and greatly appreciate others helping all the wonderful girls here :)

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Sissy sarah

Posted August 9th, 2009 ~ 10:58 am

oopsie and sissy sarah both have given excellent information on what its like and costs. I will add that what you need for a therapist to prescribe you hormones generally varies by state. I know up here in Canada it even varies by group. One agency requires a year living full time as a female to get hormones another requires 3 months of counselling and regular check ups. As for price it tends to vary. If you're lucky they can be quite cheap however it is possible based on your body chemistry that you'll need more expensive ones. I pay roughly 100 dollars a month for mine since the cheaper androgen blockers don't work for me. At your age hormones are likely to be very effective. The figures I've always heard quoted is that best case you wanna start before puberty (very rarely happens) after that 18 is best. By 25 hormones will be about 50% as effective as they would have been at 18 and by 30 about 50% less effective than at 25. These of course are general figures. I personally have seen a 38 year old have tremendous results from hormones. For surgery the standards of care pretty much say at least a year living full time for everywhere in North America. I wouldn't worry about body hair removal until after hormones myself as they will generally help with that. Oopsie is right about pricing pretty much. I suggest doing tremendous research before surgery. The best surgeons for sexual reassignment surgery are last I read in Tailand still. This is something that you can only do once and you wanna do right. Lastly in regards to the list I posted, it contains both specialist as well as normal therapists who are known to be transfriendly. :) If you have any further questions don't hesitate to ask sweetie.

best wishes,
lynnie

P.S. dont' worry sissy sarah I took no offence and greatly appreciate others helping all the wonderful girls here :)

Hi again Miss lynnie i agree that the hormones those the BEST in as young age as possible BUT as you also know you kneed TIME to rely feel and be 1000 % shore of this and therefore its wiser to hold on a beet then to run of and start taking the hormones and SRS (not as long as me mind you but alitle more thinking is ALWAYS good. As fore the Best surgery is in Thailand i have to disagree hon i have heard NOTHING but revues from there (from other Post up TS wimen ) And i also know that there are some EXCELLENT ones in the states (And actually Sweden is VERY high ranked too ) BUT i guess it all depends on what girl you talk too isent it So Like Miss Lynnie says Do a THURAL investigation BEFORE you go under the knife sweetie

PS Thank you fore NOT taking offence hon and im HONERD to meat you
And i say the same Miss Lynnie us Older /more experienced TS HAVE to help the young or lost once getting there life back (NOT mening make them ALWAYS choose to go our way ) I remember how LOST i was before i met my VERY dear friend Who is a Post up TS woman 50 + And she have been my Mentor in this EVER since (she was the contact person from the Swedish support group back then and it took her all 5 minutes to diagnose me as a TS woman that would eventually become a Woman

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