But in reality I just have a life-long raging diaper fetish - was probably potty-trained before I was fully ready but I have zero memories of the experience - and I've always found I get better results when I imagine myself as the "baby girl", the "little girl" etc. when wearing them. So it helps to "dress it up" a bit with some other babyish & girlish things. I have a really cute pink pacifier I got custom-made at adultpacifiers.com, and I have some pink onesies with lovely patterns that I got from the Big Tots eBay store. And that seems to be enough for me. Frilly dresses are too expensive, never fit right or look good on me, and just make me feel all dressed up with no place to go, which I hate.
Additionally, the image of "big" girls in diapers has always been a huuuge turn-on for me... but I have never been and never will be able to play with them the way I wish to, which seems to be a pretty common sob story among ABDL's. I guess all this time I've just been trying to escape that pain and longing by trying to turn myself into one of those big girls in diapers, but trying to sissify myself way more than is natural.
This week, for the first time, I was finally able to think of myself, fairly accurately, as a baby girl or little girl - strictly for kink/fetish - whose deepest, most burning desire is to play in diapers with the big girls. Accepting that seems to have really helped me reconcile my ABDL-kink needs with my many non-ABDL interests, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can get back to the things I like to do with renewed energy. And some of those things, coincidentally, are quite fitting for an ABDL... e.g. Disney films, Lego's, and young reader novels like Percy Jackson.
Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest!
Have courage and be kind... and may the Force be with you, always!
