Laws and Rules
First, do not end sentences in a preposition often.
* If anything can go wrong, it will – Murphy’s Law
* One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory – Brown’s Rule
* If you don’t need it and don’t want it, there is always plenty of it – Murphy’s Law of Supply
* In America, it’s not how much an item costs, it’s how much you save – Paulg’s Law
* Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say – Murray’s Law
* Marriage teaches you loyality, forbearance, selfrestraint, meekness, and a great many other things you wouldn’t need if you had stayed single – Townsend’s Law
* It doesn’t matter if you win or lose… until you lose – O.J.’s Law
* Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups – Wethern’s Law of Suspended Judgment
* There are no answers, only cross-references – Weiner’s Law of Libraries
* To err is human, but to really f*ck things up requires a computer – Law of Unreliability
* Once you give up integrity, the rest is easy – Evan’s Law
* Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other – Ameringer’s Axiom
* When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong – the 5th Rule of Politics
* No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right – Scott’s First Law
* Murphy’s Law always hits at the worst time – Lanning’s Law
* Things get worse under pressure – Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
* Sometimes it takes several years to recognize the obvious – Sy’s Law of Science
* If you are in a hole, stop digging – 1st Rule of Excavation
* There is no issue so small that it can’t be blown out of proportion – Ruckert’s Law
* The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy – Weatherwax’s Postulate
* The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you – Cafeteria Law
* Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent – Jose’s Axiom
* Nothing is as permanent as that which is called temporary – Corollary
* Free time that unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted – Sandiland’s Law
* The one who does the least work will get the most credit – Shapiro’s Law of Reward
* No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there will remain a percentage of people who believe it to be true – Law of the Lie
* The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made – Glyme’s Formula for Success
* Never replicate a successful experiment – Fett’s Law of the Lab
* Accuracy is the sum total of your compensating mistakes – Wingfield’s Axiom
* As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else – Law of Living
* There’s no time like the present for postponing what you don’t want to do – Hecht’s Law
* Whichever way you turn upon entering an elevator, the buttons will be on the opposite side – Gluck’s Law
* If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will – Kovaleski’s Dictum
* If you don’t do anything, you can’t do anything wrong – Cameron’s Law
* It is impossible for anyone to learn that which he thinks he already knows – Plutarch’s Rule
* The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people – Chesterton
* A little inaccuracy can save a lot of explanation – Munroe’s Teaching Principle
* You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive – Grandpa Charnock’s Law
* Man is always ready to die for an idea, provided that the idea is not quite clear to him – Eldridge’s Law of War
* If you don’t care where you are, you’re not lost – Rune’s Rule of the Road
* The probability of someone’s asking irrelevant questions requiring lengthy responses increases in direct proportion to how tired you are of the meeting. – Bowlby’s Law
The best thing about my life is being Lisa's Pet Babydoll
