I'm Ellie Jean!

Baby Puss

Posted December 24th, 2020 ~ 2:01 pm

Welcome to Sissy Kiss. And good luck with the hormones .

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Ellie Jean

Posted December 25th, 2020 ~ 3:20 pm

@ Baby Puss

Thanks!

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nylontoni

Posted December 24th, 2020 ~ 7:21 pm

Were I 12" shorter, 100 lbs lighter and granted a female phisique, I too would have gone all the way to womanhood. Unfortunately, as big as I am I'm contented to be diapered & dressed with the wrong plumbing. God Bless you and Merry Christmas!

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babygirlpansy

Posted December 24th, 2020 ~ 9:12 pm

hopefully, you will meet lots of friends on this wonderful site, dear

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Ellie Jean

Posted December 25th, 2020 ~ 3:22 pm

@ babygirlpansy

Thanks. XD ...It's also okay if I don't; I'm kinda shy/anti-social/introverted with trust and attachment issues lmao. Seeing a gender therapist; and of course it's all my parents fault lol. XD

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Baby Butch

Posted December 25th, 2020 ~ 12:18 am

You picked the right site to join. Welcome to Sissy Kiss!

http://sissykiss.com/gallery/baby-butchs-gallery/

http://sissykiss.com/Baby-Butch/blog/awards-blog/

*Hugs Baby Butch*

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Ellie Jean

Posted December 25th, 2020 ~ 3:25 pm

@ Baby Butch

Thanks! I agree! XD I've checked out some other sites for sissies, but too many of them seemed to be primarily if not strictly sissy slaves/maids. I'm definitely more of a sissy baby, albeit with a bit of a dark, BDSM side to it lol. But definitely more of a baby than a slave or a maid. XD

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Ellie Jean

Posted December 25th, 2020 ~ 3:18 pm

Posted by nylontoni

Were I 12" shorter, 100 lbs lighter and granted a female phisique, I too would have gone all the way to womanhood. Unfortunately, as big as I am I'm contented to be diapered & dressed with the wrong plumbing. God Bless you and Merry Christmas!

I can totally relate with the height and weight dysphoria; I'm 5'10" / 170 lbs. Muscular physique due to years of firefighting; both wildland firefighting and structural firefighting; did a brief stint in fire forensics as well, but the first arsonist I tracked down happened to be one of my best friends and a brother firefighter as well. After turning him in to the police I decided I never wanted to have to do something like that ever again; kinda broke me. Whole career kinda screwed me up. Sometimes I still see smoke trails coming up from the floor, or out of the corner of my eye. Have nightmares full of charred corpses; sometimes of people, sometimes of animals. The worst memories are vehicle extrications; particularly the ones involving children. But yeah, I decided to quit...still have mixed feelings about that decision. I think I just started out too young; dropped out of high school and started working fires when I was 17. Stopped when I was 23. Guess it was kind of a combination of factors.

But yeah, anyhoo...I wouldn't worry too much about your height and weight; if you feel hormones will help make you whole, you owe it to yourself to give it a try; "Your mileage may vary." as the saying goes. That's what ultimately helped me decide to take the plunge despite all my fears. Fears are excuses to protect yourself. "I'm too old for hormones to work on me." or "I'm too tall to pass as a woman." and "I don't think I'll look pretty." The harsh reality is that no one can know for sure how HRT will affect them personally; everyone' body is different. Some bodies react to it really well, some bodies react badly. I'm not super optimistic about how I'll turn out; that's mostly a defense mechanism lol. I tend to set my expectations real low so that I'm pleasantly surprised when things don't turn out as horribly as I expected them to lol. Consciously though, I know all the science about how hormones work and suspect that my body will react to them just fine. I wished I was fatter though; I'm pretty much just a wirey mass of skin, bone and muscle; kinda Spider-Man-esque lol. The feminine curves that develop with HRT are the result of fat redistributing itself in the body, buuuut, I don't really have any fat to redistribute at this point lol. Been trying to fatten myself up a bit with little success; my metabolism is too fast, I'm cursed lol. Probably just need to find the right diet. =P

Hormones also decrease muscle mass and increases subcutaneous fat, smoothing everything out. Skin becomes softer and a bit more translucent; this aspect alone provides a massive feminizing effect on the body, often taken for granted. These effects combined would probably fix my masculine build; not even mentioning the development of breasts; aiming for as large as I can get them within reason so that my shoulders don't stand out as much. Preferably no implants; heard too many horror stories about breast implants; I'll pursue every all-natural remedy first lol.

I'll likely be a tall, athletic/stocky looking girl, which is fine with me. Think supermodels and superheroines; Wonder Woman for example stood at exactly my height of 5'10" for years and years, but nowadays Wonder Woman stands at 6'2" in the comics if I recall right, but Gal Gadot, the Isreali actress who plays Wonder Woman in the DCU stands at exactly 5'10". There's plenty of tall women in the world, and even more who are overweight, (if anything, having extra fat on you is a BONUS when it comes to transitioning from male to female lol.)

But yeah...don't be so worried about your height, weight, and looks; focus more on what you feel would make you personally a happier person. =)

I'm almost looking forward more to the psychological and emotional changes that will come with HRT. From what I've read most who decide to start HRT report decreased irritability, more openness, a greater ability to multi-task, and decreased levels of depression. That last one I'm really looking forward to. A big factor in my decision to take the plunge into full-on feminization is because I'm so depressed all the time and feel I'd be happier as a girl. It's an escape from myself of sorts; I don't want to be...me anymore. I want to be somebody else and just try to forget all the horrible things that have happened. That's not the driving reason though; the driving reason is because I've been a lifelong ABDL and have always wondered why, searching for the answer, only to discover that the reason I was an ABDL is because as a child I was confusing age with gender, because my sexist-toddler-brain was taught to see girls as "babyish". So I grew up thinking I just wanted to be a baby again, until two years ago when the dots finally started linking up in my head and I discovered that I never actually wanted to be a baby, I wanted to be a GIRL.....But now I'm kinda stuck as a baby too lol, and thus I became a sissy baby lol.

....Life's funny sometimes, haha. XD

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