PG 13 Flirting with full diaper training
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So, as I shared previously, I had myself a baby vacation at the end of last year where I was diapered 24/7 for two weeks time.  I was not allowed to use the potty at all, forced to treat myself as if I was diaper dependent.  I had a lovely time, wetting and messing myself at will.  During the time, I had three wetting accidents in my sleep.

Since then, I've actually had multiple accidents.  About two weeks after my baby vacation I wet the bed.  I was a little alarmed, but i dealt with it by diapering myself while I slept.  Two days later, it happened again but my diaper didn't leak.  I suppose I should have been alarmed it happened again, but instead I got a little giddy about it and started drinking a bottle before bed.  Wetting myself in my sleep is now a regular occurence, and I actually like that it is.

But bedwetting isn't where this post ends.  I actually have had problems the past year with leaks due to damage to my urinary tract due to kidney stones.  About two weeks ago I was sitting in my chair and i felt the urge to go.  I got up to head to the potty and promptly let go with more than a leak.  I full on wet myself, and once I realized it was happening I didn't stop it.  Since then I've actually just stayed in my diapies.  Through probably the damage on top of the mental conditioning I've been putting myself through, I feel like I'm on my way to diaper dependence.  

I'm actually kinda thrilled at the prospect.  I'm nearly at the point where everytime I haveto go, I go atomatically.  furthermore, I've started looking up ways to become fully incontenant.  Being i. Diapers constantly, I fin little point in using the potty at all, instead filling my diaper when I hve to go.  I got ued to it really quick last December and now just go.  I totally want full diaper training, since I'm funtionally diaper trained right now.

Anyone have any pointers on how to teach myself to be unable to hold in my messes?
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Not being to hold your messes is a tricky one. I suspect a lot of that sort of thing will simply come with time. As you get more used to using your diaper it will become more natural. Whatever you do, don't rely on laxatives to lose control. Abusing them is really bad for your health.

This thread might also help you:

I'm actually trying to diaper train myself at the moment. Unlike you though I'm training myself to simply wear them regularly rather than require them on a 24/7 basis. Instead I want to eventually be in them at all times apart from when I'm at work. 

I hope you can achieve your wish of becoming completely diaper dependant. 
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Dear Nat512:

While I agree with Baby Bethany that time and determination will probably work, and that laxatives are not healthy, I wonder if there's a way to speed things up?  Typically, wetting happens many times a day so you get lots of practice, messing is a once-a-day thing (maybe twice).  So maybe if you put something in there, like a half a banana or a marshmallow, every time you changed your diaper, you'd get more practice at relaxing.  I know marshmallows go in really easy if you just soak 'em for a few seconds in water *blush*.  Anyway I think maybe increasing the frequency of the need for the ol' #2 may speed things up for you.
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