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My life was a dream. A home where I was loved, and belonged. Full of peppermints and cream. Everywhere I looked there was hope and love. People Holding out open arms willing to catch me if I fell. Helping me to see my purpose to protect them. This place was my dream of hope and love. But my children dreams never last nor do they come true. For I awoke at first thinking I was weak for not feeling the love I deserved. Feeling hate for the monster I was. A loathing for never fitting in. For now I have realized. I am not weak, I am stronger. I am a monster and I am happy with that. for love and dreams made me weak, with out them the hate and nightmare will rain supreme. I will become the man I thought was to evil to become. So my chirlden enjoy your dreams tonight, for behind every dream there is a nightmare. For where ever there is light there is dark.

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A very deep poem, yet real negitive :(

A poem is a gateway into one's soul and heart; You are no monster. I thought myself that as well once, but you needn't despair. Who says one cannot stand strong in light, or live happily forever in dreams?

*hugs* Even in darkness you are loved and accepted by me.
"Cotton streaks of rose tangerine
Shades the sunlight's parting gleam
I can feel the breeze caress my cheeks
Whispering melodies lost inside my heart
Violets and daisies line the fields of the park
As I see Ryobaby, picking flowers before dark
For the Sissy Kiss family playing just as they are.

As evening's twilight blossoms behind
The pale, silver moon arising into the sky
Sweet and girly sissies cradle their dollies
Each grasping a violet flower at their side
Given by the compassionate Ryobaby
Whose verses continue to inspire me
Yet time is fading, forgive my inconsistency
I cry for a dream that's more than make-believe
Forever in your honor, Princess of My Twilight"

~Funshine Bear~
Not everything that is dark is evil. Nor is every monster. You can choose to do good or evil reguardless of the stuff you are made of. A nightmare though allowed to grow unchecked can snuff out the light of many candles before it comes crashing down.

Enjoy your life, it is far shorter than your time in death.
A young girl's greatest fear isn't monsters, or magical threats from beyond time and space.
No, a young girl's greatest fear overshadows all of those things.

Her greatest fear is to be alone.

(Still your little Guardian Shadow, now just with wings!)
Roxxy your poem expresses so much of you feelings and touched me deeply. I have been very sick lately and had time to reflect on many things. So when I read your poem, I started to cry.
You don't know me and I only know you from your poetry. I unlike some of my sisters here was born a girl. Evil and darkness dose not lay in sexuality; and love, being pretty and sweet is not the preseve of females only.
There is no weakness in wearing a pretty dress, bows in your hair or sheer hose on your legs. Those are so often I have found here are the outward signs of a man who has a warm heart and chosen love over hate, kindness over vindiction and careing over apathy.
Nor dose being a girl make being loved assured or kindness a trait. But what I have learned that most guys who choose to be little girls or female do because they seek love and affection as a way of life and value these things way above hate, war and the monters of this world that are created by both men and women alike.
Never feel weak to dress as a little girl, or put on a pair of stockings. For it takes great strength to chose light over darkness and be who your heart wants to be. But mostly it is a statement of loving and being loved a choice of something positive in life.

You are loved here, live your dream as much as you can.

Gwen Stacey
i never felt weak by dressing. I was weak by needing love, and companionship. At first i was scared that i was a monster by force with no choice. but the more i look inside i knew that I like the feeling of being mean and nasty not showing compassion to any one keeping all distant from me. People showed me that keeping others away from them self's is a way to survive. I choice this path of dark and pain, and ya know something I am starting to like it . Nor do i wish to be saved from it. I am what my name is a heartless,
1)Lacks Emotions.
2)Feed on others hearts.
3)Born from those who've lost there hearts.
4)Darkness of the Heat.

Im not sad, nor depressed or needs hugs. I just felt the need to share inner thoughts
I can understand the appeal to feeling like a monster bereft of emotion. Stepping into the dark is very tempting, especially when the world grows ever more violent.

I dont think seeking love and companionship is a weakness, it only feels that way if you have been hurt, because your emotions are so raw. Of course pushing people away is a way survive but it will never bring you happiness and I think deepdown we all want that even if the darkness is so tempting.

Of course not all that is dark is evil and by no means every monster.

But if that is your choice, then I wish you well and I thankyou for your honesty and for sharing your inner thoughts.


Jennifer Funshine
I felt your poem to be insightful... not overly negative but balanced
with reference to your "dream"

Love and empathy are seen by our world to be a weakness
because their effect is quieter... much more subtle and difficult to find.
Popular movies, games, t.v. news, place such an emphasis on violence
that it is easy to neglect our gentler sides. This is all self-evident.

What is not, however is how often the human spirit--
regardless of its pain has reigned supreme over the darkness
but beyond that, harmony is more valuable than victory.

An example...
As a baby girl there is nothing I relish more than "Bath Time"
before changing into my diapers and going to bed.

For me, it's a spiritual experience of sorts...
The cold water combines with hot water, the steam rises
and the bubbles are poured in and my skin becomes smooth.
Under water I hear my heart beat and there is only peace.
All the elements are in perfect harmony, not one is above the other.
I like to think I'm just a visitor here on earth, partaking in its joy...
comforting its sorrow. If there be nightmares, well let them come.
With understanding the sun shall set upon it and "Bath Time" will begin again.

I Love You, Roxxy
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