APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY LOVE PET
Print out and submit as necessary
1. Applicant’s Name :__________________________________________________
Date of Birth :_________________
2. Height _______________________
GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #_____________________
4. Boy/Girl Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State_________ / _________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain :__________________________________________________
( use back of Application or other sheets if necessary)
8. Number of years parents married :_________________________________________
Number of years with Mistress/Master:_______________________________________
9. Do you own a van ______ A truck with over sized tires ______ A water bed _______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ... Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you __________________________
(use back of Application or other sheets if necessary)
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ______________________
( use back of Application or other sheets if necessary)
13. In ten words or less, what does “DON'T TOUCH MY LOVE PET” mean to you ________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
14. Church you attend :_________________________________
How often you attend : _______________
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, Mistress, Master and Minister ? ___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you were allowed to grow up _______________________________________________
Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
(that I won't tell anyone - ever - I promise)
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________
If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. )
I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.
Signature (that means your name, moron):
______________________________________________________
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write.
[ NOTE: ] If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing black coats and carrying a violin cases.
APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
Application Approved [ ]
Application Denied [ ] Retirement Assigned Date [ / / ]
The best thing about my life is being Lisa's Pet Babydoll
