It was only at the Flea that I learned about littles and the small-but-growing number of littles munches (http://www.littlesmunch.com/content/ - the Boston and San Francisco ones I can both vouch for as being AWESOME). Soon thereafter I went to other local munches and started going to a dungeon in Hartford (thesocietyct.org).
It was only once I entered this broader kink community that I really got to understand my own kinks better, to discover a bunch of new ones (self-suspensions w/ rope are amazing!), and meet a bunch of new friends including my girl/boyfriend. I've learned that I'm not so much an ABDL as a 5-year-old little who likes to play dress-up and pretend, which is a subtle but remarkably-significant distinction in terms of headspace. Of course, I've also met tons of really influential people who've informed my gender explorations, as well as learning that I am probably polyamorous.
I've learned all of these things because I entered this kink community, which I had never known about in my years in the ABDL and sissy communities - WHY?! Why are they such separated communities?? I mean, I hadn't even heard of Fetlife.com, which is functionally the Facebook of the kink world (except, one that's not a security-disaster and I actually use...) - it's how most events are coordinated and advertised. It fits a very distinct niche from Sissy Kiss or really any other site I know of. Fetlife serves a very complimentary role to these sites, and I'm really puzzled that more members don't crossover between the two.
Some of it is definitely that littles and abdls are socially-marginalized in some kink communities (including the place in Hartford, but we're working on that!), and several people have commented that I'm the only little they've met who they liked. (One of my Boston DL/little friends has hypothesized that it's because many abdl/littles tend to be developmentally asynchronous or use it as an excuse to be immature??) But there are definitely a ton of us in the scene - I've met and actually gotten to know way more other littles, abdls, sissys, and babyfurs in person than I ever did before.
What is it about these two communities that would seem to have a lot in common that keeps them so segregated?
As I've become more active in the local kink community I've decided to try and work on some elements of our culture - bridging the divides between the younger and older members, between the different subcultures within the community (switches, traditional master/slave relationships, more obscure kinks, etc). One of the ones that most puzzles and frustrates me is this divide though. I want to start a Western MA/Pioneer Valley littles munch to compliment the Boston littles group, but I want to try and draw in more people from outside of 'the scene.' What would get people from this community to explore the kink one? What would pull more kinksters into this space?
I can kill you with my brain.
