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The first time I saw her... I wet the bed. I was waking up from a dream, and there she was and... Maybe it was her fault, maybe it was mine... I dunno, she scared me. She wet herself too.
“Are you talking to yourself again?”
“... Leave me alone. I'm trying to tell my story.”
“Hahaha your story? Hold on, hold on; I'll help,” Veronica made a soft coughing noise as she cleared her throat, “One day, a loser was born and many days later... here he is.”
Does she realize she lives in a closet? Can someone who lives in a closet call another person a loser?
“I can hear that...”
Okay, that's cheating, I wasn't even talking.
“I can hear that too.”
I heard noises downstairs. “Mom, David's yelling at himself in his room again.”
Veronica burst out laughing. I slapped my forehead. Whole damn family thought I was crazy.
“Psst, you are.”
Soooo ignoring you.
I got off my bed, refusing to look at Veronica as I left the room. I could hear her snickering still as I slammed the door behind me.
Trying to have a semblance of a normal life is really hard with a girl like Veronica. I guess it depends on your definition of normal.
My mother was in the kitchen. She was just about done with dinner.
“Playing more video games?” she asked pulling out a casserole from the oven.
“Yah... something like that,” I said taking a seat. I got a headset just so I could viably say I had someone to talk too when they asked. I wasn't about to try and explain Veronica to them.
Dinner was quiet and without incident. My dad made some small talk, my mom talked about her day, and my sister bragged about something she did. They tried to encourage me, but I just made sure my mouth was full the entire time. I didn't really enjoy being with my family, but it was a respite from my... other company. She didn't like my family much, and doubted they'd understand her, so she left me alone while they were around and hid whenever they were in my room. Because of her I try to keep to myself; which is for their sake as well as mine. They don't need to know how messed up I am.
I did my dishes and cleaned up after myself. My parents don't bother me as much when I take care of myself and help out. Probably think I'm in the middle of the angsty teen phase or something. Veronica was waiting in my room once again. Standing in my closet mirror and looking at me with a smirk.
“How's our family?”
“My family's fine. You're not related to them.”
Veronica took a seat on the bed that looked a lot like mine inside the mirror. She'd changed since I was at dinner, wearing a babydoll nightie with her hair tied back in two pigtails. She knew it made me uncomfortable when she dressed like that.
“What's yours is mine and whats mine is yours.” she smiled. “Maybe they're not my family, but we're connected somehow.”
I flipped on my TV and flopped on my bed. I couldn't see myself in the mirror... only Veronica sitting there and looking bored. The only time that mirror ever showed me was when my family was in the room.
“Just going to watch TV then?”
I didn't really have to say my answer. She could generally read my thoughts. If I ignored her, she got the message rather quickly. Although we didn't completely understand our arrangement, she did have stuff to do in 'her' room; even if it was the exact same as mine.
After another hour or so I flipped off the TV and left the room. Thinking on the bathroom and my nightly routine so she wouldn't bother to ask me as I left. Our mind game seemed to be one way. She could read my thoughts, I couldn't get hers.
I brushed my teeth, washed my face and came back to strip down into my boxers. I didn't bother to shut the closet door; actually I haven't been able too since she showed up that one night. The door's been stuck. I asked my dad about it once, but he just laughed it off and said he check it out later on some weekend when he wasn't busy.
“What are you doing now?” I asked quietly. While I was throwing my shirt into my laundry pile, I heard a few odd noises from the mirror.
“I'm diapering myself.”
“WHAT?!” I asked spinning around. Veronica was on my bed in the mirror and naked from the waste down. She had her nightie pulled up and was sitting up so she could scoot her butt onto a big diaper.
“Wha? Why? What the hell?”
“Uh little privacy you perve.” she frowned.
I turned back around, blushing a bit. “Veronica, what the hell are you doing?”
“Its simple David, I'm putting a diaper on myself. I wet the bed.”
I grunted maybe a little angry because this was my damn room and she was the foreign element. What type of weirdness was she pulling now?
Veronica sighed. “I'm being sensible. I've wet the bed the last few nights. So have you. I'm just not so thick headed that I'm not going to do something about it.”
I couldn't help turning around, she already had the thing taped up now. “Where did you find diapers anyway? I thought your room was my room and all that?”
“Well your mom got them for you and put them in the closet. You think she's not going to notice seven days of sheet laundry? Geeze you don't think this stuff through. Ever wonder where I get my girly clothes?”
I frowned. “No, not really. I've just thought about how to get rid of you.”
Veronica smiled. “I've wondered the same thing about you.”
Grumbling I turned and got into bed. Veronica said some lovey dovey good night stuff just to annoy me, and I flipped her the bird. Tomorrow I'm going to find a way to fix those damn closet doors.
“Try to keep your bed dry!” she laughed.
“Hey! Wake up!”
“Jesus you sleep like a hibernating bear. Why don't you wake up already?”
A part of me wondered what would happen if I threw my clock at the mirror.
“I can see you wet the bed again.”
That woke me up. I growled and threw the comforter in a big ball at my closet. Freaking great, wet the bed again.
Veronica was sitting on her dry bed and stretching.
“Don't get angry at me Mr. Grouchy, you're the one who didn't wear a diaper to bed.” She lifted her nightie and checked on her wet undergarment. “Although I do share your frustration, I wet last night too.”
“Somehow I know this is your fault,” I said while stripping the bed.
“Pbbbbbts” she stuck her tongue out at me. “Yah it's carnal revenge because I have to suffer for it too.... No, what are you stupid?”
I flipped her the bird again.
“Wow, haven't seen that a lot lately. Hey jerk, can you at least keep your pervert eyes averted for a moment? I want to change.”
“Fine whatever,” I said. I had my bed to work on anyway. I did my best to ignore the sound of diaper tapes and whatever other weirdness she was up to. It didn't take long to strip the bed, and with everything in a bundle I left it next to my laundry pile.
I took a pair of boxers out of my dresser. “Hey fat-head, I'm changing too,” I said over my shoulder. Personally I didn't much care if she looked or not. I slid the wet ones off, threw them on the sheets, and left the room without another word, heading straight for the shower. I always felt a little dumb putting on clean boxers before taking a shower, but I guess that's unavoidable with bed wetting.
I showered. I wanked one out too. Stupid Veronica, the shower is about the only place I have privacy. I tried doing it a few nights ago after I thought she was asleep, that didn't go well. Rule one in my future book of manliness is going to be 'no laughter in the bedroom.'
I came back into my room in my boxers with a towel on my shoulders. “Changing again fat-head,” I said without looking at the mirror.
“Must you keep saying fat-head? Is that like your immature name-du-jour?”
I ignored fat-head and I changed into some dark jeans and a plain polo. If you're wondering about my style, I'm not overtly preppy and not emo either; maybe a little goth, got the punk attitude... I dunno, I'm sort of an in between, not one thing or the other, just myself. I'm average height, brown hair and mentally unstable, but that's a recent development.
“Mentally unstable? Geeze, self loath much?”
I turned toward the mirror, knowing I'd probably regret doing it. “Can you stop reading my mind? It's kind of rude.”
“Stop broadcasting then. Its not like I'm trying too, its more like I'm in the room and your yelling things without moving your lips.”
I rolled my eyes. Whatever is between us is far too weird to explain.
“You're wearing a short sleeve shirt? Isn't it like the middle of winter break? What are you weather deaf?”
“What are you, my mother?”
Veronica frowned. She was dressed down a little for her usual wear. Today she had on jeans and a hoody sweater, with her hair in a single ponytail. She kept her frown, staring at me.
“I've got a jacket, I'm going to get out of here for the day.”
“Bah bye!” she said waving me off.
I showed her my back, grabbed the pile of laundry and left the room. It was Saturday and most of my family was still asleep. My mom might be up, but probably not. I didn't really want to see anyone. If Veronica was right and my mom really had put diapers in my closet, then she'd also be trying to find a time to corner me for a 'what's wrong?' chat. She'd probably try to do it in my room too and that'd be the last place I'd want it. Veronica would never let me live it down.
I started the laundry and left the house walking the mile or two to the Borders Book store. We're lucky enough to have a 24 hour one and I go often. It's nice just to read mags and get some peace. I had a few pastries and a cup of coffee for breakfast; place is dead before eight.
I killed a good three hours there before heading home. My mom and dad were up by the time I got back. Mom politely asked what I'd been up to and I just left a bag of magazines on the counter. I went to the basement and moved the laundry along.
Veronica was pretty much exactly where I'd left her. She was laying on my bed in the mirror reading a book. She'd changed since I was gone. She still had her hoody, but she'd lost her jeans and in their place she was wearing just a diaper with her bare legs and knee high pink socks.
“What are you doing now?” I asked, knowing that I didn't really want to know.
“Meh, I'm lazy.”
It's amazing. It took one sentence from her to erase all the calm I'd worked on this morning. I took the chair from my desk, brought it over in front of my closet and spun it around, sitting in it backwards.
“Veronica, grab a chair, we need to talk. It's high time we sorted 'US' out.”
Veronica sighed and took her sweet time shutting her book. She got off my bed and took the same chair, dragging it behind her. She sat across from me with her legs open, diaper on display.
“Little more ladylike?”
She crossed one leg over the other, resting her hands on one knee. “Happy jerkface?”
“Was that so hard fat-head?”
We stared at each for a moment, an uneasy silence building and stretching on. She shrugged her shoulders cutely, as if daring me to comment further on her choice of underwear and lack of pants.
“All right, its been a week,” I began. “I've put up with this long enough. What the hell are you, how are you connected to me, and why shouldn't I destroy your mirror or board up this closet?”
Veronica looked stunned for a moment. “Uh, I'm a girl, I live here, and it'd be seven years bad luck?”
I growled at her. “Are you a figment of my imagination? I mean, you're only alive in my mirror... and my sister thinks I'm crazy when I tried to get her to see if she could see someone in there.”
“Then what the hell are you?”
Veronica leaned forward a little, smiling. “I think I'm you.”
I crossed my arms. “Uh huh... now I really must be going crazy.”
“You said it, not me.”
“How come you can make my room look different in there? How come I don't see you in other mirrors?”
She shrugged her shoulders cutely. “I dunno either. Ooo but I did make a discovery last night!”
She took her hands off her knees and spread her legs again. I quickly stood up and turned around.
“If you discovered what I think you did, I don't want to know about it.”
“Shut up jerk, just wait for it.”
I folded my arms and tapped a foot, feeling kind of angry. I'm going insane, and helping me along is a complete wierdo... a wierdo who.
My crotch was getting wet.
“What the F@#&!” I yelled looking at the dark spot growing on my jeans. I looked over my shoulder, hoping that Veronica hadn't noticed. She was sitting with her legs spread still... smiling with a wet diaper.
“Veronica?! What the hell?” I said turning back around.
Veronica gave her diaper a few pats. “Haha! That happened last night too.”
“But.. but… you.” I pointed a shaky accusing finger at her padded crotch. “and then me…?”
Veronica crossed her legs again a little slower then before. “Blah that feels kind of weird. Anyways, as near as I can figure it’s like Newton’s third law of motion; for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction.”
“What the hell does that mean? Why did I just…” I didn’t even want to verbalize what had just happened. It felt like a violation of my personal control. I shook my finger again. “…because of you?”
“Let me say it in dummy David talk… Pee go out me, pee go out you; comprende?”
I clapped my hands together once and held them in front of my face, burying my nose somewhere in between. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. “Done!” I said getting up and making a push motion with my hands. I kicked over my chair, and started on the button of my pants. This was going to stop.
“I’m done Veronica. I don’t know what you are... but I do know this isn’t going to continue the way its going.”
I dropped trow and was quick to kick off the boxers next. I could hear her gasp.
“David! Can you at least…”
“Stuff it fat-head,” I said silencing her. I went for another pair of boxers. I slid those on and grabbed the wet pair and took them to the spot I’d been standing a moment ago. I did my best to soak up the little puddle I’d made. Thank god for wooden floors, Mom had the entire top floor done one summer when we were on vacation.
“You know… if you’d consider wearing diapers…”
“What is it with you and diapers??” I glared at her. If she could truly read my mind, she’d leave me alone before I got my bat. I finished the puddle and kicked my pants and boxers into the corner, walking up to the closet.
“I know your mad David,” she said taking up position behind her chair, looking a little afraid for the first time. “I was only making a suggestion, it’s not something you have to do.”
I took the mirror by its sides and lifted it up. It was a simple piece of furniture on a wrought iron base; probably some ikea crap my mom got back in college. Whatever it was, I did the smartest thing I’d done all week. I picked it up and turned it around so that all I could see was the wood back.
“David? Stop being stupid.”
I stepped back and looked at my handiwork. I could still hear her, just like she was inside the closet, but I couldn’t see her. Out of sight out of mind right? Oddly her side of the mirror was a light source, illuminating the closet.
“How’s that Veronica? I don’t know about you, but the view is ten times better from here.”
“Ignoring me isn’t going to make me go away David.”
I frowned and thought for a moment. Impulsively I grabbed a spiral notebook and scribbled down a little message. I tore it out and taped it up on the wall her mirror was facing. If she was going to look at something, it was going to be a lined paper with my personal feelings for her… It read ‘F#%$ OFF!’
“You have to be the most immature jerk on the face of the…”
I was already at my desk, and in went my iPod ear buds.
…ahhhh… with a little extra on the volume, I was free of her for now. I flopped on my matress and stared up at the ceiling. It’s pretty sad that I had to resort to this just to get some respite from her. That’s right Veronica, I’m talking about you. Can you hear my thoughts? I’m ignoring you to the best of my abilities.
I guess at that point I passed out for a little bit. The next thing I knew my mom was shaking me awake. She had to pull out one of my ear buds before I could hear her.
“Honey, I thought you were in a comma or something, I was knocking for five minutes.”
“Sorry Mom,” I yawned stretching. “Just fell asleep with my ear phones in.”
“So I gathered,” she said taking a seat on my bed. “I’m sorry to wake you up but, I’ve really wanted to have a little talk for the last few days.”
Awww crap, here it comes. I looked over to the closet, and thankfully could only see the back of the mirror. “I’ve got some laundry that should be done by now… can we.. uh talk about this in the laundry room?”
My mom looked at me curiously for a moment, but smiled. “Sure honey, I’ll help you fold it. Doing your linens again?”
She said it in such a patronizing way that I knew she already had exactly what I thought she did in mind. I didn’t answer her and just picked up the damp jeans and boxers from earlier and headed out and down the stairs. If we were going to have to talk about this, we were going to do it away from Veroncia’s prying ears.
The laundry was done and my mom helped me pull it out.
“Soooo… everything all right David?”
“…You’ve been kind of distant lately. You haven’t really talked to me or anyone else in the past week.”
“Oh… guess it has something to do with these sheets huh?”
That’s half true. “You could say that…”
My mom finished folding one of the sheets and gave me a hug, trying to be as motherly as she could. “I’m sorry honey, if there’s anything I can do; you know your father and I are always there for you.”
God she was making me blush. My sister would probably die laughing if she found out about this.
“It’s just a phase mom, I’ll grow out of it. I’ll take care of my own laundry, no need to tell anyone okay?”
My mom nodded. “That’s very mature of you. I figured you’d be embarrassed about it so I didn’t say anything. I did leave you… uh… protection. It’s in your closet if you want to save yourself a little laundry.”
So Veronica was right on that.
“Thanks mom, I’ll be okay, really.” I said taking the rest of the laundry. She gave me another hug and let me leave in peace. I knew how she operated and this conversation would hold her off for about another week or two assuming things didn’t get worse. She was worried for me, and while I was glad that she cared, I don’t really think she’d completely understand if I were to really tell her the whole truth of what’s bothering me.
The ‘protection’ was her way of taking a more active role. She’d done something similar last year when she’d caught me fooling around in the basement with my last girlfriend. She didn’t say anything, didn’t bother me, just started leaving condoms in my bathroom under the sink.
“Have your little talk?” the closet asked as I came back into the room with clean linens.
Not even going to dignify her with a response. Just make the bed, get the iPod.
“I can hear your thoughts jerk. Just think on what you’ve been doing the last fifteen minutes and let me know if I’m right or wrong.”
Hmmm… maybe she can only read my thoughts when I’m thinking them? Localized to my room?
“The boy is getting smarter… but still no kinder.”
“Read the sign fat-head,” I called over my shoulder as I started making my bed.
I should really invest in apple stock. I can imagine myself as one of those black and white silhouettes jamming with my phones in while a bitchy bossy shadow throws her hands up and has a silent screaming fit that's drowned out by the music. Awesome idea for a commercial: iPod – use it when a woman won't shut up!
So far the headphones and wall treatment had been successful. I managed to go all yesturday and almost all of today with minimal interaction with Veronica. I spent part of my afternoon in the basement watching TV, but I left when my dad came down and started to hint that mom had told him something was wrong. Blah, tag teamed by parents.
Dinner came and I stayed quiet. My demons, or demon as it should be, was worrying me too much to allow for much thought outside how I'd deal with her. Thankfully I was left alone. My sister was at a friend's, dad was eating and reading a paper with the next day's football picks, and mom was lost in a conversation with herself about another recipe she should try since the croquettes came out a little soggy.
Veronica knew when I was back in the room. Somehow I knew she knew as well, even though for once she wasn't saying anything to me as I came back. I went to my desk and reached for the iPod, stealing a glance at the mirror's back. She was there somewhere, maybe she'd taken the hint?
I left the iPod off for the time being. It'd be nice to watch something on my little tv, and I could plug the headphones into it if Veronica got noisy. Boondock Saints was already in my PS2 and it seemed like the perfect relax movie. I enjoy a good shoot um'up the way that emperor's used to enjoy Beethoven. Can't go wrong with guns and Irish.
“...David?” came a voice from the closet.
Hmm spoke to soon. I reached for the headphones on my desk.
“Wait... hear me out for a minute David. You haven't spoken to me in like two days.”
“You've got thirty seconds fat-head,” I said still reaching for the headphones.
“Why do you hate me so much?” Veronica asked in a shaky voice.
“I don't like to piss myself and we've determined you're the cause of that.”
“That's unfair! I can't help that. Earlier... that was to show you what I'd learned, but at night... that... that's always been a problem for me.”
“Yah, well it hasn't for me,” I said unplugging the headphones from my iPod. “Not until you showed up.”
Veronica was quiet after that.
“Are you going to go away?” I asked, hopeful. “Maybe leave me alone for good?” I smiled thinking that if she didn't leave me alone, I could always put her mirror outside on the curb for the garbage man on Tuesday.
Ha, that did it. Now I could hear her crying. It sounded like my ex-girilfriend, and for a moment I could picture her just as I'd found my ex once... sitting cross legged on the bed and crying into a pillow between her arms. It was actually really appropriate, because my ex was crying when she knew I was going to break up with her after I found out she cheated on me... Yah, cheated on me seven times in four days. Whore.
“Crying is not going to work Veronica. I've developed woe-is-me immunity.”
My answer was a lot sniffling. “STUPID...*sniffle*... JERK!”
“I'm sorry you don't have any more minutes on your phone card,” I said putting my earphones in. One of the things I was liking about the headphones was that I could think whatever I wanted and it would be like a one way conversation with Veronica. I sent her some images of how it'd felt that last time a girl had put on the crying game in front me. I also added some thoughts about how her diaper wearing self could take a nice jog into oncoming traffic and let my life return to normality.
Haha I wish the rest of the world was like this. I talk and you listen right Veronica? Do you have my iPod over there? Can you drown me out the way I do you? Are you still trying to make me care with your crying? Are you still wearing that big stupid diaper? Are you still...
Oh gawd... my stomach. I threw my headphones off and bolted for the door. It was only ten feet to the bathroom and I lived a long tense few seconds as I ran and jerked open the door. I tore off my track pants and sat my ass on the toilet... just barely in time. Business was already being conducted and I barely made it before the factory whistle blew.
I swore as I involuntarily relieved myself. Thankfully the act of forcing oneself to go was not an instant process as it'd been for numero uno. She'd be dead if this happened in my room. I finished, washed my hands, and stormed back to have some words.
“Real cute,” I said walking right to the closet. I turned the mirror around, I wanted to see her crying, I wanted blood. At least... I did until I actually saw her crying.
Veronica was sitting on her ankles in the middle of the floor and bawling her eyes out. She was only wearing a t-shirt and an obviously used diaper. A half dozen wadded tissues formed a circle around her as she just looked up at the ceiling, wailing like a teenage toddler.
A moment ago I wanted to reach in there and physically punch her in the face... but how could I punch that? It'd be like child abuse.
It was like trying to talk to a whistling teapot. I screamed her name in my mind, and that at least got her to look at me with tear filled eyes. It took her a moment, but she stopped crying enough for me to speak to her.
“It didn't work,” I said crossly. “I still made it to the bathroom.”
She looked toward the floor and tried wiping her eyes. “I... I didn't want too. It feels soo gross.”
“I hope you get a rash drama queen.”
“You can't just ignore me and shut me out... it's... it's... inhuman.”
“What the hell do you want then? What are you? I still don't understand you any more then I do hair lice. I see you as some type of parasite that's making my life awkward, weird, and miserable.”
Veronica looked around and grabbed a tissue box, taking a handful of tissue. She let out a good honk. “I already told you... I think I'm you.”
“I'm gonna remove the tumor then; you're gone on Tuesday. You hear my thoughts earlier? I'm going to leave you on the curb.”
“You're lucky I haven't already. Give me one reason to keep you around... what have you done to benefit me in any way?”
Veronica looked around her room. She checked herself over. It was an odd expression on her face and she looked uniquely confused; as if trying to define her whole existence in the shortness of a few seconds. The tears looked to be coming back.
“Well?” I asked crossing my arms.
She slowly tried to get to her feet, taking extra care not to put any pressure on the back of her diaper. She made a few unsteady steps to the bed, taking and hugging a pillow in her arms. She carefully kneeled so she wouldn't have to sit.
“No answer then?” I asked getting impatient.
“Why didn't you get rid of me earlier? Or break the mirror?”
I knew where this was going... I'd wondered the same thing myself over the last day. I'd thought about picking up the bat I had in my baseball bag, but could never actually bring myself to do it.
“I'm not so cruel as to hurt a girl like that. I don't know what you are... and if by some chance you are real and just stuck in there, then what?”
“I don't know David... Just please... give me time to sort myself out. I'm not even sure what I am. All I know is that you're the key. Whether I am you, or a part of you, or just connected to you... I dunno... Just please...”
I'd never really felt such sincerity. It was like seeing raw emotion served up on a plate.
“If you stay, you're not going to wear diapers any more, got it? I'm not about to do more laundry.”
Veronica looked down at what was wrapped around her waste. “I can't promise no accidents at night.”
I swore. “Fine, I can deal with nights, but not during the day.”
I held the package very carefully, like it was a bomb or possibly filled with corrosive acid. As with most dangerous things, it'd been hidden out of sight in the shadows of my closet... appropriately just a foot or two away from the mirror.
“Depend Maximum Protection, Day and Night... Soft leakage barriers, more underwear-like color...” What a crock of ****. Damn thing even rubbed it in my face with the slogan 'because you've got a lot of living to do.' Funny, for me, life is basically over. “Remind me why I'm doing this again?”
Veronica just made a sorrowful moan from her room. She'd somehow managed to gather up a box of baby wipes and a towel and she was circling it like a worried butterfly. She looked at me with a tear streaked face. “I want privacy, turn the mirror around, cover it with a sheet, whatever. Do something because I don't want you to see me when I... change.”
I rolled my eyes. If I'd been any slower, I'd be in a similar situation. I took the comforter off my bed and threw it over the mirror. “Serves you right!”
“Shut up jerk!”
I smiled triumphantly... until I remembered what I had under an arm. I punted it over to my bed and went to my desk to get my letter opener. “Can't believe I'm going through with this,” I said looking at the package. Stupid bedwetting... stupid diapers... stupid Veronica.
“I can hear that.”
“Don't you have some crap to wipe off your ass or something?”
That shut her up.
I took out one of the 'briefs'. It was white, plastic, and hideously ugly. I grumbled to myself and threw it on the bed, undressing and putting the damn thing on. I already knew how ridiculous I must look so I slid my boxers back on over it.
I dug around in my dresser and found a long jersey. There was a little bit of a white fringe coming out of my boxers and even though I usually sleep shirtless, I wasn't about to give away any hint of what I was wearing. Mercifully the diapers weren't that loud, at least not as noisy as what Veronica usually pranced around in.
“You almost done in there fat-head?” I asked. “I want my comforter back.”
“Leave me alone jerk. This isn't exactly an easy clean up.”
“You've got no one to blame right now but yourself.”
“Shut up, just give me like another ten minutes.”
I frowned but didn't get into it with her further. I just flipped on the TV and turned on the most mindless thing I could find. Anything to get my mind off of her, what she was doing, and what I was wearing.
“I'm doing my best to watch TV and not think about you right now.”
“... I'm sorry,” she forcefully said. “For earlier.”
I grunted. “You done then?”
“Yah, I'm clean, you can uncover it.”
“Good,” I said getting off the bed and grabbing my comforter. Veronica was seated right in front of the mirror, looking somewhat fresher then before. I nodded once, not saying anything and hit the lights as I went back to my bed. She could apologize all she wants, doesn't excuse what she did. I got under the covers content to watch TV.
Usually I sleep like death itself. I've never had a problem sleeping anywhere; car, bus, plane, class, I could ignore general discomfort and shut out like a light. Still, there were some things I couldn't sleep through. One of them was the presence of another person.
When I was much younger, and my family much poorer, I used to share a bed with my littlest sister. She had her side, I had mine. If by chance she rolled over in her sleep to within a foot of me, I'd wake up, don't know why. It was with that same feeling that I woke up now.
My bed's 'full' size; it's not made for two. There was a girl in my bed.
“Vvvvvveronica?” I asked putting a foot into her hip and kicking her right out of bed. There was a thud as she tumbled out and hit the floor.
“Oh jesus, what the f&*$ was that for?” she said looking around. She was only wearing her nightie and diaper. She turned to the mirror and gave her hip a sore pat. “David why did you have to go and...” her head whipped around to me in the bed.
“You're... you're here!” she gasped.
“Get the hell out of my room!” I yelled.
Veronica looked at me and then back at herself and then at the mirror. “How...?”
“I don't know, just get out!”
Veronica panicked a moment, “I .. I uh...” she looked at the mirror and around the room once more. “How...?” she asked again.
There was a knock at my door. “David?”
It was my little sister. Veronica's face went white.
“It's 2 o'clock, I just got back from my friends, could you keep it down in there?”
The door handle jiggled once. Veronica jumped off the floor and dived for my bed. I tried to put up my knee to keep her out, but she managed to get in under the cover and slide over my body so that she was between me and the wall.
The door opened and my sister let the light spill in. “Who are you talking too? Can you be crazy sometime after the suns up?” she asked rubbing at her eyes.
My sister took a moment to look around the room, before frowning at me in bed. “Did I hear a girl's voice?”
“Ha!” I laughed. “I'm not crazy! You can hear her!”
My sister looked at me confused. “Wha?”
I jumped out of bed held the blanket back revealing... an empty bed.
My sister raised an eyebrow and looked at me even more confused. “Uh, what am I supposed to see?”
I turned around and checked behind my sister. Veronica had her head poking out from the covers in the mirror and seeing me, she quickly covered herself and ducked under.
“I'm going to bed David. Please, get some help and let me sleep.”
With that my sister left. I sat on my bed and scratched my head. I waited till I heard my sister's door shut down the hall.
What the hell was that? I thought as loud as I could. Veronica threw the covers off her head and came up to the mirror. I walked over to join her so I wouldn't bother my sister further.
“Did that just happen?” I asked.
Veronica slowly nodded her head. “You uh... might want to change. You're sister scared me.”
I held out my boxers and checked. “F&*#ing great...” I frowned. “You, bed!” I said pointing at her bed in the mirror like she was a dog. She opened her mouth as if to say something but clamped it shut at the look I gave her. She turned around and got in her bed. “Stay out of my room, we'll talk about this in the morning,” I grumbled.
For the first time in a week I woke up on my own. No rude comments, no annoying taunts, and best of all, no wet sheets. I still had on a 'brief' under my boxers, but I guess no morning can be perfect. Blech, it was wet too.
“Hey fat-head, did you wet the bed this morning?” I asked throwing the covers off and going to my dresser. I did have to admit it'd be nice not to have to do any laundry. “You awake over there?” I asked over my shoulder. I took off my boxers, balled up the wet diaper, tossed it and got on some sweats.
“Way past the beauty sleep point, its time you got up because we...” I stopped in front of the mirror... I could see myself.
“Veronica?” I asked a little uncertain now. The damned mirror was doing what it was supposed too. I stared a solid minute. I made small hand movements, I checked the bed... everything was a perfect reflection.
“She's gone?” I asked no one. It was almost unfamiliar to see myself talking in the mirror, I'd gotten more used to it being something like a window over the last week.
I shrugged my shoulders. Guess so. Haha, mission accomplished. I did a touchdown dance and gave the depend bag another good punt before making my bed and heading down to breakfast.
I had one of the best mornings yet over winter break. Full breakfast, talked sports with dad, managed to pay attention to some monologue from my mom. They probably thought it was a holiday or something. My sister gave me her usual don't talk to me your still weird look and I was fine with that.
I spent the day around my room, got it clean, and then went out to a movie with some friends in the evening. It was like waking up from a weird dream. I slept easy that night, I didn't wear the stupid diaper... still wet the bed... but Veronica didn't show up so I was happy.
The next day was just as relaxed. I went to a friend's and we vegged out playing video games most of the afternoon. Fat-head was still gone when I got home. Just me and my room, the way it was meant to be.
Tonight I put on the 'briefs'... I didn't want to do laundry again. I could practically hear her annoying voice nagging me about it. I slept well, but wet again. No biggy. Veronica was still gone, so I was happy. I'd been in a good mood ever since she'd left. My life was somewhat normal again.
She was gone the next three days after that. I settled into a normal routine again, hanging out with friends, and just being your average teen... I was happy.
The only problem actually... is that I'm lying to you.
... God I'm messed up. I hadn't lied about what I'd been up to, and it had been five days since I'd seen Veronica... but I lied about being happy. Whenever I came back into my room, I'd steal a glance at the mirror, just seeing if it was me in there. I told myself that I was glad to be rid of her, but I was lying to me too.
I hate her, and I hate that I wet the bed thanks to her... but... damn it I'm intrigued by her. She was an unwanted guest that I loved to hate. I was normal again, minus the bed wetting, but a part of me was kind of happy when I wasn't.
All of this built on to a lack of sleep. I was lying about that part too. I kept retracing what had happened between us. Nearly two weeks ago I'd woken up one night from a dream and noticed something kind of odd. There was a night light in my closet. I got up to turn it off, and discovered that the night light was not actually in my closet... it was in the reflection of the mirror and next to my bed. The only problem with that was there was no night light next to my bed. It was about that time that I realized I wasn't in the mirror looking at myself and someone was sleeping in my bed on the other side. When she got up and saw me... we scared the hell out of each other and wet beds had been happening since.
I don't know if I actually wanted her back, or just wanted to see her again so I could figure out exactly what she was. One night, as I was mulling her mystery over again in my mind, I rolled over and realized that my bed was once again over occupied.
“Veroinca??” I asked, feeling the urge to knee her out of bed once more.
Veronica lifted her head off my other pillow. “Miss me?”
“No! Get the hell out of my bed!”
Veronica quickly clamped her hand over my mouth. “Look *******, I've been somewhere dark and scary for the last few days. Don't yell, I don't want to wake your sister this time.”
She left her hand on my mouth a moment, glaring and silently asking me to be quiet. I stared intently at her but put up no struggle. She slowly took her hand back.
“Where the hell have you been? Why did you come back?” I asked in a subdued voice.
Veronica frowned, “I came back because you wanted me back. So just shut up and hold me.”
I gasped as suddenly I felt her lean her weight into me... and for lack of complete understanding of what was happening, I put an arm over her.
“Are you going to explain any of this?” I asked as she put her head to my chest.
“I don't want you back.”
“And I don't want to be here jerk,” she said pulling herself a little closer.
When I woke up in the morning, I was sleeping alone. I had to throw the covers off to check. I'd wet the bed again, but I didn't care about that. I checked the mirror... there was a lump in the bed, which didn't match mine since I'd already taken the covers off.
“That you fat-head?” I asked. The lump stirred and stretched once, Veronica sitting up and brushing the hair out of her eyes.
“Yah I'm here. It's too early, what do you want?”
I shrugged. “Nothing, just checking to see if you were here.”
Veronica rolled her eyes and went back to sleep.
What the f@#$ is Veronica??? I couldn't stop wondering. It was an all consuming riddle. Veronica was back in my life, and while secretly I was happy, outwardly I was not.
Was she real? Was she a ghost? A figment of my imagination? A cursed mirror? ... The puzzle pieces seemed to contradict each other. To an extent she could be real, I'd held her in my arms before. My sister had once said she heard a girl's voice in my room, but no one except me had seen Veronica; and any attempt I'd made to have someone inadvertently stop by had always ended with the mirror suddenly behaving normally. They give people Prozac for these sorts of things.
Probably the most disconcerting thing about her was the connection between us. If she had an accident; I did... and recently I'd found that we shared a link in some of our personal feelings as well. If I was frustrated, she'd feel a hint of it... if she was sad, I was starting to feel it tugging outside my mind too... and most embarrassing, the other night I'd been well... horny... and I tried to have some personal time when I thought she was asleep. She wasn't... and this time instead of laughing... well... I could feel somewhere in my mind she was unwillingly linked to the sensation and was suddenly doing something rather similar.
“Hey jerk, stop thinking about that. As far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen,” Veronica glared from the floor of her room. She was sitting on most of the bed's pillows with the comforter draped around her because it was cold.
“What the hell am I supposed to think about then? It's academic, I'm trying to figure you out.”
Veronica closed her book. “Academic my ass!” she argued. “Save your pervert thoughts for when you're out of the room and I don't have to listen too them.”
I put my back against the wall and sat on my bed facing Veronica. “Well, anything to share outside my thoughts? You come upon any realizations these last few days?”
Veronica shrugged, reopening her book. “I'm not all that worried. I think therefor I am... no need to ponder any deeper then that.”
“Maybe you should think about why you're in diapers every night? Hmm? Did you forget that you're little problem has become my little problem?”
She didn't look up from her book. “Oh you complain and remind me every day. I'm not likely to forget.”
I frowned and laid back down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe as a guy I should be happy I have a girl who sort of lives with me? Like an imaginary girlfriend or something?
“Dream on ***.”
I flaashed my middle finger without getting up. Maybe it was more like I had a person tormentor. A custom made agent of insanity.
I could have probably gone on thinking about it all morning if I hadn't have felt a slight wetness in my boxers.
“Damn it Veronica!” I said rushing out of the room. She watched me leave with a slight smirk on her face. I made it to the bathroom, but I had a little spot on my sweats and boxers underneath. I ground my teeth as I finished up. Veronica hadn't changed out of her night diaper, I was sure of it... we'd developed this informal morning routine, and the more I thought about it, the more I knew that she'd just gotten up and gone straight to reading in her night shirt and diaper.
“Don't look I'm changing,” I heard her say as I came back into the room.
F if I cared. I stood right in front of the mirror. “Veronica! It's 11 o'clock in the morning. What happened to our little deal?”
“Hey, stop! Turn yourself around pervert,” she said covering herself. She was seated on the floor with her wet diaper untaped on one side and her hand at the other tape.
“We agreed you wouldn't wear during the day.”
“No, you demanded I not wear during the day. I said I'd try. Maybe you hadn't noticed, but my control isn't getting better.”
“We're going to fix that. I don't care if I have to get an egg timer and a potty chair for you, but we're going to get the hell out of diapers.”
Veronica rolled her eyes and kept making circles with her fingers. “Whatever jerk, turn around all ready.”
I growled, but reluctantly turned around and crossed my arms.
“This isn't a whatever Veronica. Here me? We're not done talking about this.”
She didn't respond, but I'd gotten used to her emotions enough to know that she was either giving me the finger or plotting some type of accident revenge on me later.
Grrr... I hate it when she's like this. “You're changing into panties right?”
“Nope,” she said defiantly. “I don't want to have another accident so I'm just going to stay diapered.”
Okay, now she's trying to get me mad. I sent some negative emotions her way and tried to think of funny cartoons that involved broken mirrors. Hmm... actually wishful thinking had gotten her to leave last time maybe wishful thinking could get her to better control herself.
I thought about her and how she'd dressed the other day in a simple sweater and skirt.
“Think too hard and you'll hurt yourself David,” Veronica said while making taping noises in the background.
I thought on it harder. It was a navy colored sweater and the skirt was a darker purple. It made her look kind of punkish with the knee high socks. I actually kind of liked the look.
Veronica meeped. “What...?”
“Yah, I thought it looked decent, so what fat-head?” I asked glancing over my shoulder. To my utter surprise, Veronica was sitting on the ground with a clean diaper on under the skirt and sweater I'd just imagined her wearing.
“What the hell is this?” she asked looking at the skirt. Just a moment before she'd been in a plain t-shirt.
“I... I was just thinking about that?” I asked getting up to look a little closer at the mirror.
“I know what you were thinking about pervert, but how did I suddenly end up wearing it?”
“I dunno... because I thought about it?”
Veronica looked up at me in surprise. “No...”
Suddenly I felt the most brilliant light bulb shining above my head. A smile crept to my lips and spread as a new thought took over. She was dressed in something simply because I thought about it hard enough?
“Wait!” Veronica's face was suddenly growing very pale. “Don't do it!” She said suddenly pulling her skirt down over her diaper.
I closed my eyes and giggled slightly as I focused my mind. After I heard another gasp from Veronica, I opened my eyes to see if it had worked.
Veronica was now sitting on the floor wearing an identical copy of a white frilly dress that my sister had worn to her confirmation last year. She looked lovely and ridiculous all at the same time sitting with her legs poking out from the ruffles.
“Stop. Stop right now.”
“Haha this is kind of neat.”
“No, its not neat. Put me back in my sweater and skirt. This dress is stupid.”
I smiled and thought for a moment more. The dress didn't change. I closed my eyes and thought harder. When I opened them the dress had changed. Veronica was now sitting in a complete French maid's outfit. It even had the porno skirt.
“Oh... My... GOD... YOU PERVERT!” she said looking at herself.
I burst out laughing.
“NO! Stop, change me back.”
Haha, can't stop now. Power like this is too ripe for exploiting. I had to check the limit. I tried to force her hair into a different style, but nothing happened. I closed my eyes again and that seemed to do the trick when I'd opened them. French braid complete with little white maid hat.
“Haha now clean your room!” I said trying to think really hard on her cleaning the room.
“Thank god that doesn't work!” she said sitting with a nasty frown. “Look jerk, you can shift my clothes about. Freaking hillarious. Now stop for like five minutes so I can change.”
I smiled again and shook my head no.
“I'm still diapered underneath this. Remember some things I can do to you?”
Nope, calling the bluff. She'd already gone and just finished changing herself. I closed my eyes and thought about other ways I could test my thoughts on her.
Veronica went from maid to my school's tennis team uniform, probably my favorite thing my ex used to wear. Veronica was not amused, she was on her feet now and standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror. I smiled wider and tried something else, when I opened my eyes, she was a cop and wrapping a nightstick in an open palm. Once again, and she was a nun... a japanese school girl, china dress, shrine maiden, sailor moon.
“You're going to pay... I swear it,” she glared wearing nothing but a t-shirt, a cat-ear barret and strap on tail. I couldn't seem to think of anything else around her waist besides a diaper.
“Hahahahaha! I can't help it. This is like the best thing ever!” I laughed.
“Keep laughing, if there's anything I've realized with us... we're a two way street.”
One final one. I just couldn't resist.
I opened my eyes once more and Veronica looked at me utterly bewildered. Her posture slumped back a little as she tried to steady herself... She looked nine months pregnant.
“Oh you f#@$ing jerk!” she said patting at her suddenly very rounded belly. “This is just wrong. Stop it already!”
I had a good laugh, and wiped a few tears from my eyes. “Okay, okay. I'm good. Haha, I just had to see.”
She was back in the sweater and skirt.
“You know,” I smiled, “ I might just do that as punishment every day you decide to wear diapers.”
Veronica wasn't smiling. “Fine, panties it is,” she said lifting her skirt. Unceremoniously, and without asking me to turn around, she untaped her diaper and let it fall. I had enough decency to turn around.
“I'll get you back,” she called from over my shoulder. “You can count on that.”
I don't think it hit me how mad she was until sometime after dinner. After my little game of dress up with her, she'd been silent the rest of the day. It didn't bother me at first, but after a while her quiet brooding was almost louder then her usual obnoxiousness. She didn't even crack a smile when I accidentally tripped on my desk chair. She was pissed.
Veronica was laid out on her bed in her 'frumpy' sweats. She had her back to me reading a book. It shouldn't be that big a deal, it was just a little joke. Her sour mood didn't bother me that much, but after an hour or two of bland TV, I was getting kind of bored.
“Hey Veronica, what'cha reading?”
She was alive, I could see her arm move as she turned a page.
“Silent treatment?” I asked from my bed.
“Silent treatment it is,” I said with shrug. I knew ways to get around it. She could hear my thoughts and I knew if I thought on certain things vividly enough she'd be provoked into action... like thinking about masturbating later tonight... .... hmmm, not doing anything for you? Okay, that was kind of immature, I'll concede that. I'm just bored. I don't really feel like getting up and dealing with the family so you're the most readily available company I have. Which is kind of sad.
Veronica turned another page. It seemed to me she was making a conscious effort to not only ignore me, but to let me know that she was ignoring me. I tried thinking a little louder, if such a thing is possible.
Yes, I can see you turning a page, I'm sure your book is that interesting... even though I have no idea what you're reading or if you're listening to me right now. Mentally talking to myself and assuming you are listening doesn't really feel all that sane.
I frowned at myself. Why am I holding a conversation in my own head? Much less doing it for the sake of someone who may or may not exist in my mirror? Nuts. I'm going nuts.
Bedtime came and I still hadn't heard from Veronica. Aside from reading, the only time she got out of bed was when I went to go brush my teeth. I came back from my bathroom and she was sitting and combing her hair. She'd lost her sweats and was now only wearing a t-shirt and diaper.
I put one on myself, knowing it was relatively pointless to argue it now. If I didn't wear one, I'd be doing laundry in the morning... thanks Veronica.
I got in my bed and turned the lights off. I was uniquely aware of how I'd given Veronica a similar treatment a week ago. I was all intent on ignoring her, and now, here I was drinking down the same and not liking it one bit.
“Veronica?” I asked in the dark of my room. Her light was off and I could vaguely tell she was in her bed inside the mirror.
“Veronica quit with the silence for a moment and lets talk.”
She finally spoke up. “Say your sorry.”
“For treating me like a doll, for not listening to me, and for ignoring my feelings.”
I rolled over. Nope, this wasn't going to go well. “Good night Veronica. Try to stay dry and out of my bed.”
“Enjoy your silence jerk.”
David was asleep, I was waking up.
My mouth was completely full of hair. Surprising? No. The last week had seen hair, my thumb, and a pacifier end up there. The pacifier was interesting, I'd never seen it before and had no idea where it came from... thankfully I managed to hide it before David woke up and freaked out. He hadn't caught me with my thumb in my mouth yet either.
The monosyllabic ogre was slumbering in his room. It was only seven so he'd probably sleep for another hour or two before getting up. This would probably be the only time of the day I could enjoy myself. I stretched and shook my hair out. I took the time to comb it last night and still it comes out a mess in the morning.
Sneaking a hand under the blanket I checked my diaper. It was a little damp, but really not that bad. I smiled sheepishly and looked at David. His diaper would be in the same condition and since I was in no mood to get out of bed just yet... I wiggled my lower half and bathed in the warmth of wetting my diaper further.
“Enjoy it jerk,” I said under my breath. “I am.”
Thanks to him I hadn't really been able to enjoy myself. I don't know why I had a sudden fascination with diapers... or anything childish in general. I just did, and any time I tried to explore that feeling, he'd freak the hell out and start throwing a tantrum.
I don't understand him. Truthfully, I don't understand me. I just know that we are some how connected and despite our spats... I can't stop staring at him at night. There's something. Something I want. Something I want for us to find together. I don't know what it is, but its driving me.
Hmmm, but today... today I need a plan. For starters, he's was going to be completely ignored until he apologizes. Not only is it horrifying to know that he can somehow control my physical appearance. His night time shenanigans are starting to gnaw at me. Next time he decides to get busy under the covers I'm sooo going to call him out on it... before I get dragged into it.
It took another hour before David finally woke up. He's not the most graceful beast, but damn cute in the morning. He's got short brown hair that's messy and prefers to sleep in just his boxers. The one thing I wait for every morning is watching him get out of bed and seeing the white fringe peak out from his underwear. He's got some boyish pride to protect.
“You awake fat-head?”
Damn it its tempting to take the argument bait. He angers so easily, and yet its so fun. I kept mum.
“Oh right, you're not talking to me,” he said getting out of bed.
(Blah, she's going to keep this up a while isn't she? And oh joy, her nightly wetting persists.)
He's particularly loud today. Sometimes if he's emotional, his thoughts gain volume. Its kind of annoying at times. Its like having a little boy tug at your sleeve constantly to telling you how he feels or complaining when his nose is running. Although annoying its also advantageous, since I have quiet insight into what's coming my way.
I got out of bed and stretched, more for show then anything.
“Ahhh she's awake? We wet a little it last night? Maybe need to change?”
I forced a smile and nodded. I didn't give him any warning as I took my shirt off.... I don't wear bras to bed.
“JESUS H CRUCIFIX! Cover up the cows!”
I got another diaper and some wipes and went to the bed. The boy was now facing the wall and blasting out all sorts of nervous thoughts.
“Hey! HEY! That better not be another diaper I hear you putting on.”
I smiled behind his back, ripping the tapes extra loud. Hahah, diapers get him so mad.
To my surprise, I found I was suddenly wearing a t-shirt that had the word baby scrawled across the front. I looked at it amazed a moment, turning to look over my shoulder and see him nervously standing from foot to foot. This was his idea of a jab at my ego... I felt the shirt once, it was soft, like a cotton fleece. I loved it... but I couldn't let him know that.
“WHAT THE F$@# IS THIS JERK?!” I yelled.
She put on a show. She screamed, stomped around naked from the waist down and finally took off the shirt to complete the package. I faced away from her, but couldn't help the occasional wayward glance.
“A baby?! Is that what you think I am?”
I tried so hard to not think on the answer. “Throw a fit later, get dressed now before I dress you.”
There were a few mixed noises and select curse words, but she was surprisingly obedient.
“There? Panties and sweats. Happy?”
It's amazing the amount of times we'd been through similar arguments. I turned my head to check that she was decent. “Better,” I said turning back around. “I'm going to go shower, please try to stay clothed and out of diapers till I get back... I will turn the mirror around and shut you out again if you push me.”
Veronica folded her arms and sat on her bed with a chiseled frown. She didn't say a word, and probably wouldn't the rest of the morning. At least I'd found her weakness. That's right brat, push me and you'll find yourself dressed the way you act.
I showered away the failure of keeping dry last night and made a vow to figure out Veronica today. I'd done that a few times already too. There was something about her I couldn't get rid of... and also some habits I couldn't stand to put up with.
I'd been forming thoughts on what she might be. The current winner was that she was some wild fantasy come half to life. Although, in all my fantasies I've never once wanted some one with so much attitude.
I dried off and disposed of my night's underwear. Veronica was still sitting with a frown when I returned. She wasn't about to give me privacy so I took out some clothes and went back to the bathroom to get dressed. I didn't want to give her a reason to cry hypocrite next time I scolded her for undressing in front of me.
My mom was up and about as I was getting out of the shower. Dad was probably at work.
“Hi honey,” she smiled as she went by with a basket of laundry.
I offered a dry smile back. I didn't want to hang around, I knew what she'd invariably ask. Things hadn't been good, I'd wet every night since we first talked, and I knew she probably knew. She was a mother and a snoop.
Veronica was once again right where I'd left her.
“Lets try this again Veronica,” I said.
“We need to figure you out.”
Veronica forced a smile and held her mouth shut. She made a face like 'I'm all ears.'
“You going to talk?”
“Apologize,” she insisted.
“Apologize? For what? Because you're a nudist? Or because you're trying to goad me on?”
“Apologize or I'll make you apologize,” Veronica brought her feet up on the bed and turned around. I rolled my eyes. Yah, real mature, just turn away. You know, I've been patient lately, but stripping naked for stun effect and insisting on diapers is really pushing it.
I tried to keep my voice down so that my mother wouldn't hear. “Make me apologize huh? You going to hiss and piss yourself all day?”
“I can think of worse things too.”
“Oh ho! You want to do that again? Last time you ended up crying on the floor... You know what, on second thought, just go back to being quiet. I don't want to get into this right now.”
I flopped on my bed and turned on the TV. She does this just to make me angry. She takes off her clothes, she hops in my bed, she wets herself and makes jokes. She really is a teenage toddler. I looked at her mirror to see if she had any facial retort to my thoughts. She was just about mirroring me, laying back and staring at the ceiling.
Well... if it talks like a duck... walks like a duck...
“I can tell where you're going with this,” Veronica said in an icey voice from her room. “Just try it punk.”
Oh so tempting. Hmm... if I could make her pregnant in thought, maybe I could make her actually a toddler? Her eyes grew wide at the thought.
“David?” came a knock from my door.
“Can I come in? I want to talk.”
Veronica smiled from her room. She made a Vanna White motion with her hand at the door.
“Uh, we already talked didn't we? It's cool, I'm fine.”
I hadn't locked the door and my mom invited herself inside. “I know you're embarrassed.”
Not as embarrassed as I'm probably about to be.
“Mom, please... not now.”
My mom walked over and took a seat on my bed. I rolled my eyes and sat up.
“Honey, I've looked up your... little problem... online. While its uncommon for it to start up out of the blue; its not unheard of.”
“I'm fine mom, its just a phase.”
“We don't want it to be a problem though. Maybe we could try another solution? I read up on a lot of them.”
“The recommended solution is getting an alarm. If you er... have an accident, it goes off and you wake up. It's supposed to help train your mind while your asleep.”
Veronica burst out laughing. “Won't work! He sleeps like a rock.”
I frowned. “No, no alarms. Last thing I need is it going off with my sister still awake.”
My mom smirked. “Oh right... she doesn't know. I told your father, and he wants to help however he can, but...”
“No! I'm okay,” god I just wanted to lock her out of my room.
My mom smiled warmly. “I know honey, but please, we just want to help. I got you some more protection ... you were almost out.”
That wasn't my fault. I wasn't the one using so many diapers. “Stupid Veronica...” I muttered.
Crap, said that out loud. My mom looked at me curiously, but then smiled again, putting her hand on mine. “Ahh... so that's it huh?”
“Uhh... whats it?” I asked.
“Well the number one cause of a problem suddenly occurring like this is usually external stress.”
“Mom, you have no idea what you're talking about,” I said pawing at my forhead. “Google does not make you a medical authority.”
“You're worried over a girl aren't you?” she winked. “Some girl's got you so wrapped up that while you sleep...”
“NO!!!” I burst out. “Mom. No more. Out of my room.”
My mom tapped her finger on her nose. “I got you. Don't worry your second secret is safe with me, even from your father.”
I took her by the hand and stomped over to my door. “Great, whatever mom.”
“What's her name?” she asked as I scooted her out the door.
“My name's Veronica!!!” came the reply from the closet.
I got her out and slammed the door. I made sure I locked it. Jesus, that was disastrous. Veronica was laughing up a storm.
“Hahaha so it was you all along huh David?” she laughed. “Maybe it wasn't me wetting, but a boy so enamored with me that he couldn't help himself.”
My mom called from the hallway. “What was that honey?”
Veronica laughed even harder. She was rolling around on the bed kicking her feet into the air.
“Yah laugh it up...” I said quietly. ... her laughter stopped though and she suddenly sat up straight. I felt it too and I quickly turned yanking at the door... to no avail. It was already running down my leg.
“VERONICA” I whispered as loud as I could without alerting my mom again. I was wetting myself...
Veronica had her hands between her legs, trying to hold back the wet spot from spreading over her sweats, but at the same time she was laughing while it happened. “Beep beep beep!” she laughed. “We should get you an alarm!!!”
David stood with his arms crossed looking entirely serious. I couldn't stop laughing. He a had a wet spot going from his crotch down both sides of his sweats. It was just soo great. I'd never been a fan of his family before, but I loved his mom now.
“You done? Or you planning to soil too?”
“Hahah, you want me too? Shall we round out the experience for you?” I laughed.
David threw his hands down and stormed off, getting some fresh clothes. Small victory to me! Hahah I bet if I did take the accident a level higher he'd flip and smash the mirror or something. There was no need to go that far.
I smiled and kicked off my own sweats. He wasn't looking so I could go about changing without the pervert thinking dirty thoughts. He'd been better about it lately, usually covering them up with a ruse of being angry over my immodesty.
I put myself in a diaper. I'd had an accidental, so the occasion called for one. I knew he heard me putting it on, but he didn't argue.
What a great way to start the morning.
David got dressed for the day and left as soon as he could, not saying anything to me. I didn't mind that much, I knew he'd be mad, but he'd get over it. His thoughts were half occupied with hating me and half with initiating some damage control before his mom took more steps to help with his 'problem.'
I settled into a morning of reading. Not really sure how or why but various books seemed to keep finding their way to my bookshelf. I don't understand it, but I'm no less thankful for it. His comfy bed and a good book are pretty much all I need to stay happy. The diapers do a lot too, they make me feel secure and protect against accidents... when they're unintentional; which had been occurring quite a bit more often then I'd like to admit.
“I think I finally figured you out,” said David.
I woke up a little groggy, must have fallen asleep.
“Don't worry, it took a little while, but I think I've finally got it.”
“Hmm, what's that?” I asked stretching. My diaper was a little wet, but that was normal after sleeping.
“... I like diapers.”
That got me awake. My eyes shot open and I stared at David who was casually standing with his hands in his pockets in front of the mirror. “You do?” I asked, daring to hope. This was probably the last thing I expected after this morning.
He nodded. “I think I do. Although, I don't know if I like wearing them. I feel like I look ridiculous.”
That's a bit contradicting. “I don't think I understand.”
“I like them, but I don't like seeing myself in them... I like seeing you in them.”
I blushed. “What? Are you serious?”
He nodded. “And I'm going to keep you in diapers... all the time.”
“You... you are?” Not that I minded, but something felt a little weird about this. “I think I'd like that David, but is it okay? I mean if I get dependent on them... won't you?”
David smiled and shook his head no. “Nah, I figured out how to stop that bond between us.”
“Don't worry about it. I also learned a few other things... like how to control more then just your clothes.”
Now I was getting a little scared. “What... what do you mean?”
He smiled sheepishly and nodded at me. I wasn't sure what he was getting at, but I could suddenly feel that I was wetting. No tingle, no spasm, just a sudden warmth and sogginess in my diaper.
“David... Did you make me do that?”
“Don't worry, you're wearing a diaper right?”
“But... but...?” this was getting a little scary. I had a fascination with diapers, but not with... oh no... I wasn't just wetting. I tried to quickly exercise some control over my lower half, but I could feel something was going to push itself out whether I wanted it to or not.
“You're a toddler, so it doesn't matter right?”
The back of my diaper was suddenly filling as I messed. I raised my bottom a little and sniffled back a few tears. I didn't like the feeling of completely losing control. “Please... please stop David.”
“Awww did the little girl have an accident?”
I started to cry. “Noooo...” I said feebly, but looking up, David wasn't there. The mirror wasn't there.. His room, or really what had become my room, was a nursery, and everything was pink and... too much. I was only curious, I didn't want to go neck deep.
“Nooo... Make it stop...”
Damn it she pissed me off this morning. I swear, she exists only to unnerve me. A personal demon living in the room within my room. Sleep, make fun of me, undress, yell because I look ...crap I'm going crazy.
Today's excursion was as therapeutic as I could manage. A went to the bookstore, got coffee and repeated a mantra in my head that I wasn't going insane. Reading was one of my few relaxing activities that I could do with relative privacy.
About an hour or two into reading, the important parts of my lower half spasmed unpleasantly. I wasn't having an accident, but I suddenly felt like I was very close. I bolted out of a chair mired in shelves of books and managed to knock a Tom Clancy novel onto my foot (which is almost as painful as actually reading it ...ba-dum chii).
I ran straight for the bathroom and came within seconds of having a teenage awkwardness defining moment at my favorite store. I stood bent over the urinal with my hand on the wall.
“Veronica...” I said angrily. I had yet to have an accident outside my room. I didn't today, but I was damn close, and this had her doings written all ov... I quickly yanked my pants down and had my ass on the pot before I could even finish the thought.
I left the store as soon as I was done. Seven years of bad luck, here I come.
I walked back home acting something like a terrestrial rain cloud. Dark face, darker thoughts, nothing pleasant in what I planned to do upon returning. I knew that I could get to her if I shifted her clothes about like before... school girl and maid were only the beginning.
I banged my front door open and dramatically stomped up the steps to my room. If Veronica could hear outside of my room, she'd get an ear full of the storm. I gripped the handle of my door and entered my room with all the bravado of a swat member.
“Listen you insufferable bitch,” I said looking straight to her mirror.
I came home thinking I'd find her smug and ready with the battle ax, but instead I found her sleeping. I took in a deep breath about to give her some hell, when... I heard her whimper.
“No... make it stop. I don't want this,” She was kicking her legs and tossing in her bed.
I wanted to yell, I wanted to call her fake, but something wouldn't let me.
“Veronica?” I asked a little more evenly. “Veronica are you okay?”
She let out soft whine and started crying, “No... no... I don't want this...”
Was she having a nightmare? “Veronica this isn't funny.”
She just cried louder. Her emotions were starting to scare me, she looked really troubled by this. I knocked on the mirror frame.
“Veronica? Wake up Veronica.”
She either didn't or couldn't hear me. She kept mumbling and whimpering, tossing and turning. I didn't know what to do. Should I help her? ...could I help her? I'd never tried to get near her before. She'd always kind of been there and only seemed to occasionally invite herself into my room.
I looked around in a panic for some way to help her. Do I try to get inside? Do I try to get her outside? When I checked the mirror again I came upon the shock of my own face. I jumped back a foot, staring in disbelief at my own reflection.
“Veronica?” I asked, afraid she'd disappeared. My answer was a rustling of the sheets on my bed. I spun around... and there she was. I ran and put a hand on her shoulder, shaking her awake.
“Wake up,” I said. I could smell one problem already.
She stirred and mumbled some more, but as I continued to shake her, her eyes fluttered open.
“No no... I don't...”
Her eyes met mine and before I could even react she had her arms around my waist and was practically pulling me down to the bed.
“Woah! Veronica... hold up.”
Veronica was awake and she was crying and holding on tight. “It.. it was a dream,” she said between sobs. She curled up in a ball wearing only a t-shirt and a diaper (which REALLY needed to be changed). “Just a dream,” she said again.
She looked up at me with teary eyes, refusing to let go of my waist. “David, thank god it was only a dream.”
“Do you realize I nearly had an accident at the store?”
“It was only a dream,” she repeated again. She wiped her runny nose on my shirt, pressing her face to my lower chest. I pushed her away and separated myself from her arms.
“OH-kay... snot's a little much. Veronica, what the heck happened?”
Veronica rubbed a few tears from her eyes and tried to sit up in my bed. As she did, she noticed something for the first time that I had noticed ever since she'd suddenly appeared in my bed. In a panic she looked over her shoulder, and quickly put both her hands on the sagging rear of her padded behind. Her face registered about two or three different emotions at once; first cat like curiosity, morbid disbelief, and finally fanatic revulsion. Now she really began to cry.
“Oh joy,” I said trying to cover my ears. I knew from experience that there was no talking with Veronica in this state. Whenever she had a bad accident or things went the exact opposite of what she wanted, she'd simply shut down. I'd come to refer to it as 'toddler defense' in my head. I guess in other good news I could possibly look forward to pooping the bed in the near future.
Thankfully I don't think anyone was home. It'd be hard to cover up the screaming demon, and as much as I wanted too; I couldn't just leave the room and ditch her to smell up the place. So, I did the first thing that came to my mind.
I swept her close to me in a hug. “It's okay,” I said.
Veronica looked up at me surprised. She slowly took her hands off her butt and put them around me.
“I'm not mad... well... maybe a little... but we'll talk about it okay?” I gave her a few soft pats on the back. “I'll help you out.”
“I had a nightmare,” she chocked out, “...and an accident.”
“I think that's a little obvious Veronica.”
She hugged me tighter. “Jerk.”
After a minute it was kind of awkward. At first I'd just hugged her as a natural gesture of a good natured male.... and then I became uncomfortably aware that a girl was pressing herself to me and this was a bit too friendly... not only that but her immediate problem had to do with getting her diaper changed. ...did I want to extend kindness that far? Last time she'd done this for herself she'd moaned and groaned through the ordeal.
“Nooooo...” she said squeezing me again. “I'll do it David. Please... this is my fault don't trouble yourself.”
Crap... stupid mind reader. I'd had enough girlfriends to know that voice; it was a no thanks but really yes please. I sighed and gave her a good firm pat on the back before breaking off from the hug. She looked at me unsure of what to say, and rather then let her regret what she wasn't going to ask, I simply got busy.
I went to my closet and took out the pack of diapers. Conveniently there was a box of baby wipes, probably from my mom. I took those too... and thinking on it, I grabbed a towel as well. I came back to the bed and made a motion with my finger for Veronica to lie down.
“No, really, I'm okay. I'll...” the tears threatened to return as she looked down at her diaper.
“Veronica, just lay down,” I said.
She bit her lower lip and complied. I took the towel and had her raise her lower half so I could set it under her. As I started to untape her diaper, she closed her eyes tight.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“We're going to talk,” I said solemnly as I fought back a blush. My face was suddenly feeling a bit hot as I stared at... womanly parts. I had a little cousin I'd babysat once or twice, so I wasn't a complete novice at diaper changes... but Veronica wasn't two; she may act like it, but physically she is not... and physically a two-year-old couldn't do THAT to her diaper.
Veronica stayed quiet and I went through like a million baby wipes. We're not going to discuss the smell or the other nuances of what went on, just know it was bad. I taped up a clean diaper on Veronica and triple bagged the dirty one.
She sat up giving the diaper a pat. “Sorry about all this,” she said in a soft voice.
I left the room with the bag; I buried it in the garage trash cans. When I came back I half expected to find her back in her mirror, but surprisingly she was sitting on the side of my bed waiting. I was still a bit uncomfortable about the feeling of intimacy that floats around after you help a teenager in such a way; so I took a seat in my desk chair.
“I gotta say, I'm a little worried Veronica. It seems our connection extended outside the room today.”
Veronica nodded, “It.. it was an accident. I've never done that in my sleep before.”
“What was the nightmare about?”
“You had a nightmare about... me?”
Veronica nodded slowly. She was staring at the mirror. For the first time, the both of us were reflected in it. I waited a minute but she didn't elaborate.
“What was I doing in the dream?”
“Being a jerk.”
I frowned. She called me jerk more often then my actual name. “Do you want to tell me about it or not?”
Veronica sighed and looked around for one of the pillows on my bed. She grabbed it and hugged it, looking at me a little nervously. “You came into my room and woke me up in my dream... you told me that you'd finally figured everything out. You said that you liked diapers.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “That is a nightmare.”
Veronica hugged the pillow a little tighter. “That's not really it though... you said that you liked them but that you don't like wearing them... you liked... seeing me wear them, and you were planning to keep me in them.”
“And you're upset because of that? Haven't I always been trying to get you out of diapers and not into them?”
Veronica blushed a little bit. “David... I can hear your thoughts. Be honest now.”
“And what do you mean by that?” I frowned.
Veronica held the pillow a little higher, like she was doing it defensively. “You like looking at me. I haven't said anything because you've been polite and tried not to stare when you could avoid it, but you still think about... me.”
Now it was my turn to blush. “Look, you're a beautiful girl who gets dressed and undressed in my room. What the hell am I supposed to think? I will make no apologies for being a boy and having a libido; I'd sooner apologize for the sky being blue.”
“I'm not saying I'm upset or that it's your fault... You need to understand that the reason this dream scared me is because I feel like it was close to reality. In the last part of the dream you took control of me and started making me... have accidents.”
“Are you trying to say that I'm responsible for that Hiroshima diaper I had to change fifteen minutes ago?”
“In my dream you were.”
I contemplated the idea that I could make her have accidents in my head. Maybe it was like how I could make her clothes change.
“DON'T!” she said hitting me with the pillow. “I know what you're thinking, don't even try it.”
“If I did that to you, I'd be doing it to me... Hell, I could just pee myself if I felt like making you go too.”
“The reason all of this was a nightmare is because of the way you treated me. You treated me like a thing, like something you were going to abuse for fun.”
I thought about that for a moment. I mulled the idea around in my head. It had a sour taste. I didn't know what Veronica was, but at times I had thought of her as a girl and myself as a boy and the possibilities were obvious. At the same time, while I didn't comprehend just what she was, I did always somehow feel superior since I could shift her clothes around and she couldn't seem to do the same to me.
“You know me well enough to know I'd never do that to you.”
Veronica looked at me intently. “I...I just don't know.”
I rubbed my head with my hand. “How could you even think that?” I turned to find she was no longer sitting on my bed but sitting on her own and looking at me from the mirror.
“Sorry David, I'm still a little shaken up by this dream.”
“I'm still a little upset that I nearly had an accident at the store; but I've managed to keep my anger about it in check.”
Veronica blushed. “I know... and thank you for changing me...”
Veronica laid down and looked at the ceiling. She was apparently finished with this talk... Feh... women. She'd need her time, and I wasn't in the mood to explore whatever feelings I was confusing myself with so I let her be.
I wandered out of my room and watched TV in the basement, figuring that she could use some time to herself... well, actually I needed some time to myself to mull over some thoughts without her hearing them.
My own feelings were starting to get mixed up. Veronica was an interesting mystery... but while intriguing, what did she mean to me? When she'd disappeared, I'd missed her, even though all we do is argue. At the same time... there had been a slowly developing tension between us that had been born out of our equal misunderstanding. Was she like a girlfriend? Or was she like a sister or even a cousin? ...I'm not sure I even want to know.
After a few hours my parents got home and my sister came back from her friends. They made a big deal about having dinner together, but then got really lazy when it came to cooking. We ended up watching some crappy made for TV movie and having pizza. I kept to myself, even when my mom started talking about how one of the neighbors down the street had a new girlfriend. She looked at me in this knowing manner the whole time. I kept my face stuffed with pizza to keep her out of my hair.
I came back up to my room feeling pretty tired. Veronica was reading quietly on her bed with only the desk light on.
“Welcome back,” she said without looking up from her book.
“Hey,” I said going over to my dresser. I dropped my pants and walked back to the closet in my boxers and t-shirt. “Keep reading a moment, I'm going to get ready for bed.”
Veronica nodded. She was under the covers and I didn't have to guess to know she was already diapered. After that nightmare, I had little doubt she'd stay diapered for a while. I got myself into a diaper, mildly annoyed the whole time. It was something of a necessary evil now. I put my boxers back on over it and hit the light, crawling into bed.
“Good night Veronica,” I said in the dark. She'd already turned off her light too.
“Good night,” she said from right next to me.
I blindly hit my hand on my desk, trying to find the lamp. It came on a second later and I found Veronica laying in bed next to me.
“Veronica? How the hell did you get here now?”
Veronica looked at me and then the mirror. “Umm... I dunno... I was thinking about the nightmare before, and I was a little afraid to go to bed and the next thing I knew... here am I.”
“I'm not sure I'm comfortable sleeping with you in my bed.”
“I've slept in your bed before,” she frowned. “I... I don't really want to be alone tonight.”
“Oh so you trust me now?”
She looked me in the eyes and nodded slowly.
I turned off the lights and got back under the covers. “Just for tonight... and no grabbing.”
There was quiet for a bit and Veronica kept to herself on the other side of the bed. I kept my back to her. I was a little too conscious that she was in bed with me and I wasn't about to go to sleep face to face with her. I was almost asleep when I heard a gentle sucking nose. I was still wearing my diaper so its not what you're thinking.
I rolled over. “If you're going to sleep here, can you not suck your thumb?”
Veronica blushed and took the thumb out of her mouth.
“Sorry, I didn't realize I was... David... I... ummm... do you want to know a secret?”
“How many secrets can you keep? Who else do you know besides me?”
“Do you want to know a secret or not jerk?”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure, lets have it.”
“I like... all of this.”
I looked at her confused. “Meaning?
“Diapers, sucking my thumb, that baby shirt you imagined me in.”
My mouth hung slightly ajar. “... you can't be serious?”
“It makes me feel... secure... I dunno I can't really explain it.”
She looked worried now. “I'm sorry David. It's weird now isn't it?”
I wanted to say something, but instead I put a arm around her. “Just shut up and go to bed.”
She nodded and put her thumb back in her mouth.
Surprisingly Veronica was still in my bed when I woke up. She was curled up and sleeping quietly with her thumb in her mouth. I don't know if seeing her like this was disturbing or arousing. In a way I could tell that I was seeing her in what was probably her natural state, like if she'd been free of all conscious inhibitions, she'd be like this all the time.
Veronica had hit me pretty hard yesterday. I don't think you'll ever feel as stunned as when someone else realizes something you secretly knew all along and didn't want to admit. What was she to me? Friend? Fantasy? ...Obsession? Her second bomb was to tell me the whole diaper escapade was a secret vice for her... Still not sure what to make of that.
Clearing my head I resolved to let her sleep and rolled out of bed without disturbing her. I checked my night 'garment'. It was wet, which meant hers was too (no surprise there). I sighed to myself and thought about just stripping down now and wrapping myself in a towel for a shower.
I went over to the closet and was about to change when a sudden idea hit me. At my feet was the package of diapers... and behind me was a sleeping girl in need of a diaper change. I'd done it yesterday, and changed the most HORRID diaper ever I might add, maybe this morning I could be just as kindly and get another peak at...
I beat feet to the bathroom with a towel hastily wrapped over my diaper. Stripping, I got into a cold shower. I spent a good fifteen minutes thinking about cars, places I wanted to visit, and other wholesome non-molester thoughts. Okay, Veronica was spot on, I liked her... and our unique living situation made it awkward.
She was still asleep when I came back. Feeling somewhat embarrassed about her casual nightshirt and diaper, I closed my eyes and imagined her in a childish footed sleeper. She'd admitted to liking these sort of things, and I needed to get more clothes on her. I opened my eyes and she had her thumb in her mouth wearing thick lavender pajamas. I gathered some clothes and left the room to change in the bathroom.
My bed was empty when I got back. A quick check revealed Veronica in her own bed. I heaved a sigh of relief and quietly made my bed before leaving to watch TV downstairs. It was only for an hour or two, I didn't want to wake her, but we definitely needed to talk this morning... how many times had I told myself I'd 'talk' with her and come up with nothing?
Veronica was awake when I came back, she was laying upside down on her bed and kicking her feet lazily in the air.
“Hiiii!” she said rolling over and onto her butt. “I love the sleepers!” she smiled. She hadn't changed out of the sleeper I'd imagined her in earlier.
“I'm glad,” I said hesitantly.
All morning I'd been trying to compose my talk with her. We needed to figure out a lot and I was keen to do it but seeing her in that outfit I...
Veronica's smile faded and she immediately blushed. “David...”
“Please don't read my thoughts,” I said backing away and sitting on my bed. “I'm trying really hard right now not to think along certain lines.”
Veronica tucked her legs under herself and played with her hair, trying to hide her blush. “I can't help it, its like your still speaking even when your mouth is closed... I guess this explains why you snuck out this morning.”
“I didn't sneak out, I was just... embarrassed... and confused.”
She nodded. “It's okay. I don't mind.”
“We're going to talk. We're going to figure everything out right now, starting with what you are.”
Veronica sighed and let go of her hair. “Don't ask me that... you don't want to know.”
“Yes I do, I think I deserve to know, its been driving me crazy. Every day its something new, and I'm sure in a months time, I'll be incontinent if things continue as they are.”
“Can't you just leave it? I'm just Veronica.”
“But what the hell does that mean? Why are you living with me? What are we? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Lovers? Cursed?”
Veronica smirked. “I think all three of those could be the same thing if you look at it a certain way.”
I frowned. “Veronica... I'm not in the mood for games.”
She nodded. “I know... and to be honest, I think I have figured myself out a little, but I'm telling you; I think you'd be happier just leaving it a mystery. I'm Veronica, I live in your room, and we'll see where things go from there.”
I sat for a moment and mulled the thought over in my head. 'See where things go...' does that mean that she and I were going to get a little closer together one of these nights...
“Dream on,” Veronica frowned. “You're lucky I let you change my diaper yesterday.”
“WHAT? I did that because you had an accident and you were miserable. There was no motivation behind it other then offering a comfort to you.”
“And I thanked you for it, but get your mind out of the gutter. We may occasionally sleep together but we're not going to SLEEP together.”
I crossed my arms. I wasn't miffed at getting shot down. I wasn't really asking for sex, if that was indeed what was on the table right now. Sure in wild fantasies the idea of a girl who lived in my room and sometimes slept in my bed had a tendency to travel a logical course... but that was besides the point. What was getting me upset was a series of mixed messages.
“You hit me with a bombshell last night. You know that?” I asked flatly.
Veronica blushed. “I.. I know, but I felt I should say something about it. I was scared after my bad dream.”
“Yah, well you said something and now I can't think straight. I like you... there I said it. I like you and now things are awkward.”
“You like girls, you don't even know what I am. I'm sure if any girl from you class had moved into your room you'd feel the same way.”
I let out a controlled scream. Its sort of an angry release of steam I suppose. Either way it shocked her into sitting a little straighter. She looked so toddlerish in her outfit, and I needed to yell, so I imagined her in sweats. I wasn't about to yell at a toddler.
“I've had it!” I said. “You can't hold the fact that I don't know what you are above my head. You can't keep sending mixed signals and expect me not to respond. I want to know everything. Right here, right now.”
Veronica wasn't phased by the clothing change, and she wasn't one to respond well to yelling. “You want to know what I am?”
Veronica walked up to the mirror and I did the same so that we were standing right in front of each other.
“I'm you!” she yelled. “I'm you, you big stupid idiot. I'm everything you always wanted and everything you've ever been afraid of. It took all the time I've known you David to figure myself out, but at last, I think I finally know.”
Veronica reached a hand out and it came through the mirror, grabbing my shirt. “You're a guy and you like the idea of being masculine and macho. You're freaking Bruce Lee and Sean Connery in your own mind... but at the same time you have these conflicting feelings, these confused fantasies and desires about infantile things like diapers and pacifiers. These aren't things for men! Even though you want them, you can't stand the thought of yourself in them... you're scared. You're sooo scared that you don't want to talk about it and conveniently left that little part out of your story here.”
Veronica looked me right in the eye. “So you created me. You're not trans-gendered, you don't want to be a girl... although a part of you has always wondered...” I broke out of the trance and was about to tell her f*$@ no, but she just glared. “I've heard your thoughts, I'm not saying it was a want, but it was a curiosity... and that's part of the reason I'm here. You didn't want to see your macho self in diapers and you didn't want to crossdress... so you imagined someone else... someone you'd find visually pleasing.”
My mouth hung open, the puzzle pieces were falling into place. “So I imagined you?”
Veronica pulled on my shirt and dragged herself out of the mirror. “I don't know! I don't know if I'm real... I just know I'm a part of you and I'm soo scared... I'm sooo scared I'm just here for you to use like in my nightmare.”
Her arms were suddenly around me, her head pressed to my shoulder. Her story made sense, but at the same time, it didn't. “If...if I imaged you... how are we hugging right now?”
“I don't know... everything I've told you is the best I can piece together, but I can't explain everything... I can't... I just... just...”
Veronica lifted her head off my shoulder and before she could say another word, I kissed her. I kissed her and held her close.
“Never mind Veronica... I don't want to know the truth,” I said, breaking off the kiss. “Some things... shouldn't be explained and should just be enjoyed.”
I believe the term is accord. If I'm using the right word, it should mean a deal or agreement between two parties that is usually mutually beneficial. ...I don't know if mutually beneficial is how I'd describe our relationship, but Veronica and I are at an accord. I don't think she can exist without me, and I'm beginning to understand that I'm happier with her.
The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of confusion and discovery. At first, the strange girl that lived in my closet had been something of an alien invader to my room; unwanted, misunderstood and antagonizing. At first she was simply this bullying force, intent on living within my sanctum whether I wanted her too or not; and maybe that's why I didn't get rid of her when she first got here. I was too curious about this girl who was purposefully pushing my buttons and walking around in skimpy outfits.
The longer she stayed, the more self-aware she became and the less confident she was. In a few short weeks, she had gone from pushy to afraid and just about as confused as I was. Once we both realized she was hear to stay, she began to struggle with finding an identity and purpose. The jury is still out on that one.
Veronica is just this mysterious part of my room. In the same way that some floor boards have creaks in them and it adds a little quirky character to the place, Veronica was the alluring something that made my room interesting.
“Did you seriously just liken me to a floor?” Veronica asked looking up from a book.
“I could have said spider. I was thinking about how sometimes you get spiders in your room and you didn't really invite them and you don't really want them there, but at the same time, you don't want to squash them because that's mean and...”
Veronica frowned heavily and I tried to keep from smiling.
“Bugs huh... You see me as a bug now?”
“Arachnid actually, they're different from bugs.”
I ducked as a pillow came sailing from my bed. Lately Veronica had seemed to ignore the boundary of our two rooms. Her space was inside the mirror in my closet, and it had slowly been differentiating itself from my room. When I'd first seen her, the room in the mirror was exactly like mine, except the only person who ever looked back from the room was Veronica.
Now, the room in the mirror was most definitely not mine. She'd gotten a pink comforter, a hello-kitty lamp, and a large stack of diapers on her dresser (which she were just about all the time). They were probably the most glaring differences. Even with this 'seperate' room, Veronica seemed to be spending a lot more time in my room then she did in hers.
“Our room. I see my side and your side as two parts of the same whole,” Veronica said going back to her book.
I walked over to my closet, it was pretty amazing, almost like a window... but as I pressed my palm to it, apparently only Veronica could walk between the two. I simply felt glass, although I didn't see a reflection of myself, just the feeling of touching a mirror.
“I see it as your side and my side,” I said tapping the glass again. “I can't go over there, and I can't convince you to get rid of the pink comforter.”
Veronica smiled sheepishly. “Hey, its cute. Your comforter smelled like boy funk and masturbation.”
“Boy funk?” I asked, ignoring the second remark. I wasn't about to take the bait.
“Yah, you think the bed is going to be stuffed with rose pedals if you only shower in the morning, after you sleep? I still don't know how you deal with it, I can't sleep in filth.”
“You sleep and walk around in your filth all the time, you had a pretty bad accident three days ago,” I said walking up beside her and snapping the top of her diaper.
Veronica threw the book at my head and launched herself at my shoulders, knocking me to the ground.
“Your sooo dead!”
We rolled around on the floor for a minute. For a girl she was pretty strong and somewhat skilled at ringing my neck.
“Uncle, uncle, I take it back,” I said after she had my arm behind me and her diapered rear planted on the small of my back.
“Damn right!” she said rubbing her knuckle into my head. “I may wear diapers, and occasionally use them... but that doesn't mean I have to take **** from you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Occasionally use them?”
Veronica giggled a little as she got off me. “Well...”
Veronica used diapers like an artist used paint.
“That's a horrible reference,” Veronica said reading my thoughts.
“Name one time you haven't used a diaper in the past two weeks.”
Veronica frowned stepped over me to get her book. She took a seat on my bed again and stuck her tongue out at me.
“Consider yourself lucky that I've been letting you dictate 'our' bathroom habits.
For those of you who don't know Veronica and I, we seem to have linked our bodily functions in some type of weird way. Simply put, if she has an accident, I do, and vice versa... although to my knowledge, none of the accidents have been my making.
“Proof! I want proof before you make that claim.”
I rolled my eyes again. We could argue that one all day. I thought on the bathroom and left the room. Generally if I made a mental note of what I was doing before I left, Veronica didn't need to ask or wonder where I was.
I headed down the hallway to the bathroom and lifted the lid to relieve myself. Veronica wasn't in control of her own bodily functions, but lately if I managed to go to the bathroom with regularity, it seemed that she didn't have accidents (ergo, I didn't...).
When I came back to the room, Veronica was still sitting on my bed reading, but now I knew that the diaper under her sweat pants would be wet. If she cared she didn't show it.
“You want I should...?”
“No thanks pervert, I'll do it myself,” Veronica said getting off my bed and walking to the closet with her head still in the book. She stepped through the mirror and walked over to the stack of diapers on her dresser.
I sat at my desk and gave her the privacy she'd expect. I also tried to keep my thoughts clean of what was happening since I had changed her before, and the noises she made sometimes brought about...
“Stop it, I won't warn you again.”
I quickly slammed my hand in a desk drawer and focused on the pain. I held in a curse but managed to stammer out an apology. “Sorry, I swear I was trying to keep out of the gutter.”
“Jesus, stop with the drawer. That crap hurts me too.”
I rubbed at my hand. “Haha yah... sorry again.”
Veronica changed herself while I sat thinking about puppies, kittens and blue skies. At one point I began to sing the “My name is Gato” song from Chrono Trigger in my head and I could hear Veronica humming the same tune. (Stupid video game nostalgia is a nervous tick of mine, sue me).
“Its getting kind of late, how much longer do you think you'll be up?” I asked over my shoulder.
“Don't really know, I guess I'm tired enough to lay down now. Mind if I just read a little more?”
“That's fine,” I said getting up from my desk and going to my own dresser. As much hostility as we had, we were getting more respectful of each other. I got down to my boxers and a t-shirt and went to my bed.
“You going to wear?” Veronica asked from her bed.
I rolled my eyes. I didn't want too... I really didn't want too... “Yah, guess I have too huh?”
“You want one of mine?” Veronica asked with a smirk. Her diapers were a lot thicker and more babyish then the plain protection my mom left for me in the closet. Don't ask me where Veronica got them, they just appeared in her room one day.
“No thanks, good nights are fine.”
I grabbed one of the diapers from my closet and put it on myself when I was back on my bed. Remember what I said about Veronica and I having linked bodily functions? Well either she, or me wet the bed... like every night. So diapers had become something of a necessity.
“Good night Jerk.”
The two of us stayed in our beds, reading with the desk lamps on. My plain white lamp, and her hello-kitty lamp. Maybe about a half-hour later I turned off the light and she did the same shortly after.
Probably the worst part about having Veronica was that I had to watch my thoughts. If you think about it, how clean is your mind? Is your mind clean enough to have company in? Do you think that having all your secrets laid bare would make someone find you endearing? ... or scary? ... or perverted?
I usually had to wait till Veronica was asleep before I could have a little personal time. If you live in close proximity to someone, you learn to recognize the steady breathing that comes with sleep. Veronica was finally out.
Okay, let me fill you in on what's really happening. I know I haven't been sharing much about us in a while, but that's because I've been busy okay? Well, Veronica and I have gotten back to our usual weird self and we poke fun at each other all the time, but... BUT.... there's also something that's gnawing at us just under the surface.
She doesn't know what she is, and I don't either. We think that she may be a part of me, but we don't really have a way to prove it. What's worse is that the natural problems of a boy and girl living in the same room are starting to creep out. There are nights where, despite our bickering, we'll end up in bed together snuggling. Don't ask me, its weird, I'm weird.
Possibly worse then everything else I've just mentioned, is the fact I've got a major crush on Veronica. She thinks that I imagined her as my ideal object of interest. Why that includes her in diapers, I don't think I ever want to know, but at the same time, I really liked just about everything about her, even if we fought all the time.
Jesus diapers are loud when you are trying to... um... crap I'm a pervert on top of crazy. No... not a pervert, but red blooded male. If I think about a cute girl, one who I've seen naked a few times, I get horny. I can't help it any more then she can wetting herself. ...or so I tell myself to justify the fact that I had my hand down the front of my diaper.
Whenever you are doing something that you are pretty sure you shouldn't, you tend to look around nervously in the hopes you won't be caught. I'd spend a few moments mummble mummble and sneak a quick glance at Veronica, then back to... and ... suddenly she was in my bed with her hand pressed tightly over my mouth.
“Stop it. Stop it right now.”
My eyes bulged a little. I was laying on my side, and she was doing the same, facing me. I very discreetly tried to drag my hand up and out of my diaper without making too much noise. Having her this close wasn't helping at all though.
“Damn it...” she said taking her hand off my mouth and replacing it with her lips. She roughly took my hand and crammed it down the front of her diaper and then did the same with her hand in my diaper. “Don't speak, just finish up so we can go to bed. Everything you were doing, I could feel, and its driving me just as crazy as it is you.”
I shrugged my shoulders sheepishly. “Boy funk?”
I woke up tangled in Veronica. In the middle of the night she'd ended up in my bed once again and... yah... things were getting awkward.
“You know... I was awake last night,” she said as I carefully tried to remove my arm from her waist.
“Shhh... The last thing I need is a mental image to stir the... feelings... of what happened last night.”
Veronica blushed and turned over to look at me. “No no, I mean before that. I was awake when you were thinking about what to do with me.”
“Right... I uh, said 'major crush' didn't I?”
“You thought it.”
“That's the same thing around you... Look, whatever you heard, please don't rub it in. You can read my thoughts, you know this'll do nothing but embarrass me. For the sake of whatever relationship we have, please don't pick on me this early in the morning.”
Veronica's blush faded a little and she started to frown. “Fine, but only if I can wear diapers all day.”
“I'll agree to that only if you give me a heads up on your 'accidents'.”
“Would if I could... but...”
“Don't think I won't imagine a potty chair in the middle of your damn room,” I said. I wasn't entirely sure I could imagine something in her room that wasn't already there, but I had to threaten her with something. “While you're asleep its one thing, but the daytime accidents have got to stop. I want you put forth some effort. None of this 'oh, I was too lazy' crap.”
Veronica rolled here eyes. She could hear my bluff, and was probably checking to see if I'd try it out. She sneared and threw the covers off. “I'll try to warn you.”
Lately my little trick to avoiding her accidents was to go to the bathroom often. It was annoying. I felt like I was forcing myself to have a bladder the size of a walnut. Veronica didn't say anything because she usually kept herself diapered all day and was getting to the point that she didn't even notice herself wetting.
As she got out of bed and stepped into her mirror, I got out of my wet diaper and wrapped myself in a towel to get a morning shower. Outside my room, my mind was free to think without Veronica hearing it.
Last night, we had crossed a line and I was nervous in good and bad ways about where it might lead. I got in the shower and turned on the cold water. Masturbation had been my usual outlet for sexual frustration and last night we'd both gotten into it. I'm ashamed to say it... but doing it in a diaper felt pretty good.
“Damn it Veronica...”
I slowly thumped my head against the wall.
“What the hell am I doing?”
Veronica was simple, but yet endlessly complex. Well, maybe that's the epitome of women in general... but ... but... what the hell is she? She lives within my mirror, which doesn't work like a normal mirror... it shows my room, only feminine... first she's mocking me and making me feel uncomfortable to be so close to a girl... and then when I act on it, she gets nervous and turns a 180. What... the... fuck...?
Maybe I am going crazy.
“What is she... why is she in my mirror and what...”
I suddenly stopped thumping my head. Of all the times I'd seen Veronica, there were two similarities. She was either in my mirror, or in my room.
I finished up my shower and dried myself off. I stepped in front of the mirror behind the sink and stared a few moments at myself.
It was me.
Veronica wasn't in there. I didn't see some crazy girly bathroom filled with hair accessories and make up... well my sister's junk was under the sink.. but still, I saw me... the only place I didn't... was in my room.
I left the bathroom and came back to my room to find Veronica reading quietly in a t-shirt and diaper. She wasn't trying to hide it at all either.
“All clean?” she asked looking up.
“Could you come here for a moment?” I asked, trying not to think on what my plan was.
Veronica raised an eyebrow, but slowly got up and came to her side of the mirror, studying me a moment before carefully stepping through.
“I'm... not used to bringing myself out here when you ask. I don't know how... but it usually just sort of happens. Like you're thinking about me in some angry or perverted way and poof.”
“Yah well, I'm not thinking of anything perverted right now, so don't get your hopes up.”
Veronica glared. “Well, what do you want then jerk?”
I took Veronica by the hand. She lost her glare and looked at me a little curiously for a moment. I didn't say a word, but I put my hand on my door handle and opened my door.
My hand was grasping nothing. I stood with the door open, still wearing only a towel. Before me was an empty hall and behind me was Veronica glaring angrily at me from her mirror.
I shut the door and walked up to her. She had her arms crossed.
“I was testing a theory.”
“Trust me when I say... you don't want me to leave your room.”
It didn't sound like she was making a threat of some kind. Still, curiosity was egging me on. “What do you mean? ...can you even leave my room?”
Veronica shrugged her shoulders. “I can go from my room to your room. I don't particularly feel like going anywhere else. I doubt your family wants to see a girl running around in just a diaper.”
“You're avoiding the question. Can you physically walk out that door. I wasn't going to harm you or anything, I just wanted to see if you could walk out of it.”
Veronica folded her arms and looked me right in the eye. “You didn't ask my permission.”
“That doesn't answer my question! Permission or not, I just want to know the answer to a simple question. Can... you... go... outside... my.... room?”
Veronica smirked cutely. “Can I?”
“That's what I'm asking.”
I frowned. “Fine. Whatever. Stay in your closet.”
Why did I even want to understand women...? She's easy enough to explain. She's a plague. A succubus. A little angry monkey that constantly does things just to annoy me.
“HEY!” Veronica shouted, hearing my thoughts as easily as my words. “Look jerk… I told you before, you don't want to explain everything about me. Just leave things as they are and we can pretend like you have some semblance of normality.”
Blah... why did I have a crush on this girl?
“So what if I’m a girl and I’m expecting you to understand me a little!”
I frowned at Veronica. “Some days you tell me I'm better off not understanding you, and then others you want me to understand you... Make up your damn mind.”
Veronica crossed her arms and paced around in a circle. She was in her own mirror and currently only wearing a t-shirt and rather thick diaper.
“All I'm saying is that you need to put yourself in my shoes,” she said. “I’m not saying you have to be a girl. But, advertising, movies, and just about all other media have brainwashed you into a gender role. I’m woman your man, and we each think we have it bad. But this isn't a contest. Just be ready to concede that life sucks all around and no one but marketing specialists and beauty pageant coordinators is really responsible for it.”
“Lovely speech, but how does it pertain to you being in diapers?”
“Cause life is hard.”
“That's where you're wrong. MY LIFE IS HARD. How hard is your life? You sit around reading books and watching TV all day.”
Veronica stopped pacing and stared at me. “And wouldn't you, if you could?”
“Well yah! But I wouldn't do it in diapers.”
Veronica rolled her eyes. “Riiiiight.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you're delusional and also in denial.”
I glared at Veronica, but before I could mutter the curse words I was thinking, I felt a little wetness beginning in my boxers. “Fu....” I barely had the door open before I was unzipping and running down the hall.
“Ewwww gross, can you not whip out your junk on the way to the bathroom?” I heard my sister yell as I brushed her aside.
I slammed the door behind me, kicked the seat lid up and let loose. I could hear my sister outside the door in the hallway.
“I wasn't 'whipping it out'” I said defensively. “I was just pre-staging. My 'junk' was still in my boxers.”
“You're soo weird lately. Who prestages to go to the bathroom? I don't pull my panties around my ankles and shuffle off like a toddler before taking a piss. What are you David, three?”
I grumbled as I stood there relieving myself. I could almost hear Veronica taunting me, “Aww you made it like a big boy.”
“Shut up,” was all I could find to say. It was probably the most standard of responses for big brothers to little sisters. I finished business and zipped up. My sister was waiting impatiently outside the door.
“Everything come out okay?” she asked.
“Why, yes, thanks for asking.”
I brushed past her once more and went back to my room. This conversation wouldn't lead in any pleasant directions. I opened my door and paused a moment as my sister had apparently followed behind me.
“Something... I can help you with?” I asked.
My sister tilted her head and looked at me like she would a bug.
“Who's in there?”
I couldn't help but smile a little bit. “You really want to know?”
I stepped aside and allowed her to walk past. She took a quick glance around and frowned.
“You in the habbit of talking to yourself?”
I sighed and took a look for myself. My room was empty... and looking at the mirror... Veronica was sitting on her bed looking inquisitively at my sister, and as soon as my sister turned to see what it was I was stairing at, Veronica dove off the bed and hid behind it. I rolled my eyes.
“Like looking at yourself too?” my sister asked as she noticed me staring at the mirror.
I shrugged. “Doesn't my room look different through the mirror?” I asked her. The comforter was different, there was pink and girly junk everywhere. The bed wasn't made from the occupant who'd been there just moments before...
My sister looked at me again like she would a bug. “Whatever,” she said rolling her eyes and walking out of my room.
I shut the door behind her. “And... she still thinks I'm crazy,” I said quietly. The more I thought about it... saying things like that aloud really would get her thinking I was crazy.
“Pssst... you are crazy,” said Veronica as she poked her head out from the other side of the bed.
“Thanks. So glad of you to clarify that.”
Veronica smiled. “No problem. That's what I'm here for right?”
“Oh lordy the Irony.”
There was a knock at my door again. Veronica quickly ducked behind the bed once more and I slapped my forehead. Why was it so easy to get into debates with her?
I opened my door, “Yes?” I asked as my sister looked at me again.
“Okay... this time I'm sure I heard a girl's voice. What the hell is going on David?”
“Do you see any one in my room?” I asked.
My sister looked past me again and frowned. “Speaker phone?”
“Or XBOX live... take your pick.”
My sister didn't say anything further, but she pointed an accusing finger at me and backed away.
I rolled my eyes and shut the door once more.
“She probably can't see me... but I'm not entirely sure... soo... I'm going to keep hiding.”
“I wonder about that,” I said softly. “Sometimes I wish I could explain you to them as much as I wish I could explain you to myself... but I don't know if they're ready for the diaper queen.”
Veronica crawled out from behind her bed. “Haha, your a funny jerk.”
“And your a nutcase demon in my mirror.”
Veronica frowned and got back on her bed. I could feel the slightly angry aura coming from her. She picked up her book, flopped on her side facing away from me and went back to reading.
I shrugged and started getting a few things from my desk so I could possibly escape my room and do something for the day. Every time I turned around though I could see Veronica looking at me, but then quickly going back to her book like she hadn't just been checking over her shoulder at what I was doing.
“Can't you read my mind? Do you have to keep staring at me?”
“I don't care about what a jerk does. I have better things to do then stare at your jerkface.”
I sighed. “All right... Well, I was going to offer... I'm sure your wet after I just went to the bathroom. Do you want a change?”
Veronica dropped her book and looked at me. She was suddenly blushing. “...would you?”
I smiled. “Nope. Not today, jerks have better things to do right?”
Veronica's mouth hung open and I continued smiling as I turned back to packing my bag. It was maybe a minute later that I felt a book hit me in the back of the head.
I looked around to find Veronica sitting on my bed.
“Something you want?” I asked hefting my bag onto the bed and leaning on it.
Veronica stood up and slapped me across the face. I was just about to slug her in return, but with her other hand, she cupped my chin and pressed her lips tightly to mine.
Damn it I'm confused.
---- To be continued.....