A Case of Mistaken Identity
Steve Martin: Adult male age 19 who is 5’ 2” tall and weighs 90 pounds.
Doctor Pamela Stewart: Dermatologist who works at the hospital.
Nurse Nancy: A Pediatrics Nurse working at the hospital.
Steve Martin graduated from high school in 1970 and started installing residential sprinkler systems. He works out in the sun most of the time in south Florida. Steve found a small red spot on his shoulder one day. He does most of his work without a shirt since it is also very hot.
Steve is single and lives in a 1 bedroom apartment. He pays rent monthly and gets paid weekly for working 8 am to 4 pm on Monday thru Friday. Naples is the city in south Florida where Steve is living. It is a small town with lots of Palm trees. Peoples Hospital is downtown and serves the surrounding area as well as Naples.
The date is June 1, 1971 and the weather is sunny and hot as usual. It is Friday and Steve took the afternoon off to see a Dermatologist about the small red spot on his shoulder. Steve went home and showered, washed his hair, and shaved. He is dressed in a light blue t-shirt and dark blue shorts. Steve has collar length light brown hair. His appointment is at 3 pm with Dr. Pamela Stewart who works at Peoples Hospital.
Steve takes his car to downtown Naples and parks in Peoples Hospital parking garage. He takes an elevator to the third floor and walks down a long hall toward his Dermatologists office. The hospital is cool and clean.
Peoples Hospital is small and new patient beds are not always available. A lot of people outside the city limits come here for emergencies and medical care when needed. Due to lack of empty beds sometimes an older patient may end up in Pediatrics.
A small man named Jim Nelson was admitted yesterday for a low fever and feeling sick. He was short and weighed less than 100 pounds. Jim has light brown collar length hair. Jim did not like being in the hospital so he left.
Nurse Nancy was put in charge of Jim when she came in this afternoon. A Pediatrics bed check revealed that her patient must have left the room. This is not good since Jim has a low fever and could be contagious. Nurse Nancy felt this patient should be found immediately and put back in isolation.
An alarm is sounded just before a message from Nurse Nancy. “Attention all hospital staff and security,” she said, “a patient with a fever isolated in the Pediatrics Ward has disappeared.”
The message continues, “The patient is Jim Nelson, a short male age 18 with light brown hair.” “Find the patient and return him to Pediatrics immediately.” “The patient could be contagious so wear a mask.”
Steve Martin is walking down a long hallway leading to his Dermatologists office. He is checking the signs when he hears the alarm and message over the intercom. Steve is thinking the description sounds a lot like him, he wants to find the Dermatologists office ASAP.
Steve reaches for his wallet realizing he may need identification. Oh no! Steve left his wallet with identification in his car. “There he is in the hallway,” an employee said putting on a mask. Soon two assistants put on a face mask to not be exposed to any fever.
Steve is rushed by the 3 employees and held so he can’t run. “You should not have left your room in Pediatrics Jim,” Tom said, “let me put this mask on you so germs don’t spread.”
“Get your hands off me!” Steve exclaimed, “I am not Jim, my name is Steve and I am here to see a Dermatologist.”
“We know who you are since you fit the description perfectly,” Tom said, “Do you have identification?” By this time Steve is already wearing a face mask and is about to be put on a Gurney.
“I left my wallet in my car but I am Steve Martin,” explained Steve again.
“This one is going to cause trouble,” Tom said to his assistants, “strap him to the Gurney and we will drop the patient off in Pediatrics.”
The guards are convinced they have the right person. Strapped to the Gurney and covered with a blanket Steve is taken directly to Nurse Nancy in the Pediatrics Ward. By now the real patient Jim Nelson is back at home.
Nurse Nancy has never met Jim Nelson and she is glad to have him returned to Pediatrics. Steve Martin is the man on the Gurney but no one believes him. He gave Nurse Nancy the same story about not being Jim. This did not concern Nurse Nancy she is sure the patient is Jim Nelson.
“You must be delirious from your fever,” Nurse Nancy said, “you need rest and I don’t want you running off again.”
The 3 hospital staff members go back to their jobs and are thanked for finding the missing patient so quickly. Steve is still strapped to his Gurney and covered with a blanket. He has a mask on so germs can’t spread. Steve is taken back to isolation in room 311.
“I will have you comfortable in your bed in no time,” Nurse Nancy said unstrapping Steve from the Gurney. “You won’t run off anymore!”
A large crib is now in room 311 instead of a standard patient’s bed with low side rails. “Wait don’t put me in that thing,” Steve insisted, “call Dr. Pamela Stewart and you can verify my appointment.”
Nurse Nancy takes the time to use the room’s phone and is connected with Dermatology. A new girl answers the phone who is in charge of scheduling appointments.
“Does Dr. Pamela Stewart have a 3 pm appointment with a Steve Martin?” Nurse Nancy asks. The new girl is busy and looks at the wrong appointment book. She does not find Steve Martin listed at all.
“No mamm, my appointment book for Dr. Stewart does not show that name,” the new girl said. She hangs up and goes back to her duties. Steve is in big trouble, this makes him look like a liar.
“I checked Dermatology and no one named Steve Martin is listed in their appointment book,” Nurse Nancy informed Steve who is stunned by this.
“I am Steve Martin and have an appointment at 3 pm with Dr. Stewart,” Steve still insists. “Look there is a red spot on my shoulder.”
“Relax and I will take good care of you Jim,” Nurse Nancy said, “that is just a freckle on your shoulder so stop lying to me.”
Nurse Nancy lowers one crib side and wants Steve in the crib. She has him remove his shorts and has a pink hospital gown for Steve to put on.
“Sorry but we ran out of blue gowns,” Nurse Nancy said, “Remove the briefs so I can put your diaper on.”
This is too much for poor Steve to handle. He can’t believe they are doing this to him thinking he is some patient named Jim Nelson. He is sure he could not run off without getting caught. What can Steve do?
“I do not have any wetting problems being 19 years old,” Steve insisted.
“I want you to do as I say Jim or I will put you over my knee and spank you,” Nurse Nancy said, “We do that here in Pediatrics Ward.”
Steve figures he better cooperate until this mess is straightened out. He removes his brief and is naked in front of the nurse. Steve knows this big nurse could put him over her knee and does not want to be spanked.
Nurse Nancy is trained to restrain rowdy patients and a buzzer gets help in an instant. Nurse Nancy is 5’ 10” tall and a strong woman of 170 pounds. At this point she picks up Steve and lays him in the crib. Nurse Nancy gets a small adult diaper made by Attends for hospitals. These are 70’s disposable diapers and very thick with a plastic outside and 6 fastening tapes.
“I will need to check your temperature so roll over sweetie,” Nurse Nancy instructed Steve, “we use rectal thermometers in Pediatrics Ward.” A dab of Vaseline is used, Steve goes thru an embarrassing rectal temperature check.
“This is an improvement from your chart,” she said, “only 99.6 degrees.” Feeling stressed by this situation Steve is running a low fever.
Nurse Nancy reaches down and lifts Steve by his ankles, she slides a diaper under his butt. Diaper rash cream is applied and baby powder used next. The skilled nurse has diapered many patients of all ages.
Nurse Nancy brings the front of Steve’s diaper up between his legs and she tapes it on securely. “Perfect fit for my big baby,” Nurse Nancy said. She grabs a pair of pink plastic panties and puts them on Steve.
“Pink gown, diaper, and pink plastic panties, I am a male you know” Steve grumbled as he is stood up and the gown is fitted, then tied in the back. Steve is put back in the crib, both side rails are up and lock with a click.
“See I told you that you won’t be running off again Jim,” Nurse Nancy said, “relax and get some sleep that is needed when running a low fever.”