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I heard bells ringing everywhere. People staring from the church benches. It was both the worst and best day of my life. Then she came down the aisle. Her name was Lisa, the nmost wonderful person in the entire world. Reality seemed to stop as our eyes met. We'd been waiting for this moment for a long time. Well, at least she had. I might have, too if it wasn't for the little "Thing" that kept bothering me. Finally she reached the altar where the confused priest uttered the words: “You may now kiss the bride.” I leaned over and pushed the Wedding Veil out of my face and kissed Lisa. Her shiny black Tuxedo folded up as she leaned in to kiss me. My dress started to ride up, not as far as to see the white-laced bra and corset or the white frilly panties but far enough to see the edges of my stockings and my white bridal "f*** me" heels. As we were kissing, time seemed to slow down. My long, blonde wig started to get in my face but I didn't push it out. My sexy pink lipstick started to smear a bit on Lisa's lips. She kept on kissing, and when it was over time went back to normal. Everyone started cheering. Lisa's wig was starting to slide so she pushed it back. She then re-applied my make-up and we got our wedding rings. They were different. One said the word "BRIDE" in shiny pink letters in a silver frame and had hearts and stars. The other, clearly marked "GROOM" had that one word and what looked like a metal chain wrapping around it. We got our rings, and put them on immediately. “Oh, I'm so happy right now!” Lisa said, loudly. We were now married. Except one problem. I was the Bride with the bra and corset and heels and panties. She was the Groom with her low-cut hair and lack of makeup. I am a male. She is a Female. Actually, at that point, she was more of a man than me physically and mentally. So,you might be asking yourself right about now: “Waaaaiiiittt. She's the Groom and the guy is the Bride? How does that work?” Well, yeah. I'll tell you how this all started.
CHAPTER 2-HOW THIS ALL GOT STARTED
It all started a Dave's. Dave's was a local bar in the small town I lived in. I usually went there every Friday after work. I knew the owner/bartender pretty well. And Yes, for all those irony lovers out there, his name was Dave. He'd been in the buisness for twelve years now. He was a nice guy. Sometimes my drink would be free. When it wasn't, it was usually because he wasn't making enough money to fill his quota that month. We'd been good friends since College, where we both studied biological science. We both got our degrees. I went on to become a biological engineer, but Dave wanted to start his own bar he had dreamed about for a while. So there. But anyway, as I was watching NFL sipping my beer, she sat down next to me. I noticed somebody sat down so I tried to greet her. “Hi there”...I turned my chair around. “Holy...good looking....”
“Well, thank you.”
She had the voice of an angel. It swept through my body like a nice, warm breeze. She wore a tight fitting black and pink skirt with a matching top. She had her hair in a ponytail that wrapped around her shoulder beautifully. H...hu...hi. I'm John. It was hard for me to say that. Nervousness swelled up in my throat, making each and every word difficult as to not embarrass myself.
“Oh, hi. I'm Lisa. I just moved here.”
“Really? Where?”
“Well, I'm not sure I should tell you, considering we just met thirty seconds ago and I don't know how many drinks you've had tonight.
“Don't worry, I didn't drug him up too bad.” Stated Dave, who stood at the other end of the bar. I glared at him. He smiled back. “You seem nice enough...John.” she said, slowly. I felt giddy and happy, like a 6 year old winning a spelling bee at school. “I live at 138 Maple Drive. My heart did a flip.
“138 Maple Drive!? That's the house right across from mine! I'm 139 Maple Drive!”
“What a coincidence!” Finally the words came out of my throat. “Hey, do you have a boyfriend?” She smiled a smile that made my insides turn to goo and my heart pump a mile a minute. “Yes.” My smile faded quickly. Despair rippled around my body. “I'm just kidding! Yes, I would like to go out with you sometime.”
“That sounds fantastic.” I said enthusiastically. “Wow, it's 10:30 already. Time flies when you meet cute guys.” She said to herself. “I gotta get going. Oh, and here's my phone number.” I took the slip from her hand gently. “See you soon, John!” She said as she walked out the door. “People these days get e'm too quickly.”Dave muttered.
CHAPTER 3- THE GIRL ACROSS THE STREET
So there I was, as happy as a guy could get. I had just met the girl of my dreams, and to think she was right across the street! Life felt amazing. Until "it" happened. I decided to man up and just ask for the date. I called Lisa, and she wasn't home. The next day I called her again. And yet nobody answered. The third time I tried to call, I half expected for nothing to happen.