Jokes

Sissy Wanda C

Humor

Posted on December 22nd, 2009 ~ 9:26 am

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In order to get some cash so I could get a laptop I decided to sign up for one of those clinical medication trials.At the time there was only one that I qualified for.They were testing a serum for side effects.This one happened to be for tainted beef(Mad cow disease).They knew it worked, just not if it caused other problems.It took 8 weeks.I got 150$.Well I got my money and no side effects.Mooo Mooo...
barump bumpbump.
Sissy Wanda C
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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 22nd, 2009 ~ 9:57 am

There was a snowfall at the Whitehouse and President Obama looked at it on the lawn. There spelled out in big yellow letters was "Obamas A Sissy". The president called the Secret Service and demanded they solve the security breech. A while later his phone rings and he anwsers.
Mr. President we've good news,bad news, and really bad news about the writting in the snow.
The day started badly.. what's the good news?Asks the President.
We know who urinated on the lawn.The man says.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 22nd, 2009 ~ 10:47 am

That is good news...whos urine is it.Asks The President.
That's the bad news.. it's Joe Bidens urine..Mr.President.
Oh no my Vice President peed Obamas a Sissy in the snow...what could possibly be worse than that?Said/asks the President.
Well sir hand writting analisis says it's Michell,your wifes handwritting.
Barump bumpbump.
Sissy Wanda C
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Dru

Posted December 23rd, 2009 ~ 5:59 am

cute but no way could that be true. I love Michelle Obama. She is a really pretty First Lady and I'm proud we have her.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 24th, 2009 ~ 10:44 am

You're right..it is fiction.The joke has been around since the Nixon administration.It is updated with each new President.I doubt any of them had it happen.Well..maybe Clinton..Just jokeing.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 24th, 2009 ~ 11:05 am

It was really windy when I left for work this afternoon. I was surprised to see a boy flying a kite.Until I looked up. He was flying his little sister!
Barump bumpbump.
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Sissy Wanda C

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Dru

Posted December 25th, 2009 ~ 7:22 am

sadly I don't get it...
but thats nothing new. One time at a family dinner at a restaurant my mom told this joke "Did you ever hear the one about the magician who walked down the street and turned into a drugstore?" everyone else had a quick chuckle then the real laughs started when my family looked at my serious/confused face that I had while I was trying to figure out the joke. It was pretty embarrassing but is typical for me. Apparently I lost my blond hair just before middle school but retained the blond persona

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Dru

Posted December 25th, 2009 ~ 7:26 am

forgot to add please do more jokes. I enjoy them=D

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 26th, 2009 ~ 7:19 am

One day three boys decide to ditch school and go hikeing instead. Being that it is warm they each agree to bring something for the hike. The next day they gather for the hike.
The first boy says he brought a big chunk of cheese to eat.But the 3rd boy says that will just make them need to drink more due to the heat.
The 2nd boy says that's ok because he has a bottle of wine he took from his parents wine celler.
The 3rd boy again says that alcohol will just make them more thirsty when it gets hot.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 26th, 2009 ~ 7:39 am

The first two boys ask the third boy what he brought since he was so smart.
He tells them a car door.
They ask how that can help.
Simple, when it gets hot I can roll down the window. He says.
Barump bumpbump.
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Sissy Wanda C

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 27th, 2009 ~ 6:00 am

Wow you're really pretty.Says the man.
Thank you says the girl with a wink.
You know rather than a bunch of bs how about I take you to a dinner and show.Would that be ok so far.Says the man.
Sure..I guess so.Says the girl.
After that we can go to a nightclub and have drinks and dance.How's that sound so far?Says/asks the man.
Well you're not cheap,it sounds fine by me.Says the girl.
After that we can go to my pad have more drinks and sex all night long,ok...Says/asks the man.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 27th, 2009 ~ 6:16 am

Normaly I wouldn't do that on a first date but since you've been honest about it and straight up..ok. Says the girl.
If you think I'm being straight up with you now just wait until were having sex.The man says with a wink.
Barump bumpbump.
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Sissy Wanda C

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 27th, 2009 ~ 6:43 am

Sometime back there were three cowboys who always seemed to win all the events.Most of the time it would just be one of them at any given rodeo at a time because there were a lot of rodeos going on.It was bad enough always getting second place money but regaurdless which of 3 it was they bragged endlessly.
One day all 3 ended up in the same rodeo. The other cowboys were irate.They demanded 2 of them withdraw or none of them would win any money at all.
The 3 cowboys agreed,code of the west honor and all.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 28th, 2009 ~ 8:27 am

They decided on a bragging contest around the campfire that night.
1st Cowboy : Down in Abilean a rattlesnake got loose so I lassoed it and bite off it's head!There were some hoots and whistles from the cowboys.
2nd Cowboy : In El Paso a wild bull broke loose.I kicked it in the nuts so hard it doubled over.Then I snapped off it's horns and stabbed it to death with it's own horns. There were many hoots and whistles.
3rd Cowboy : Those are good brags alright.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 28th, 2009 ~ 8:42 am

3rd Cowboy : The fire is dieing out. He stands next to the fire,unzips his pants,and takes his dick out and stirs the embers.
Barump bumpbump.
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Sissy Wanda C

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Alexandria

Posted December 29th, 2009 ~ 10:55 pm

I don´t get the one with the magician either
nice jokes keep it up I´ll try to find some myself

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 30th, 2009 ~ 8:53 am

Please feel free to enter a joke you know of anytime.Even sissies need a laugh now and then.At one time I hoped to be a comic.I went to the comedy club in L.A. on amature night.There were 30 of us.We got 5 min. each to get a laugh.If you got laughs you could go up to 15 min.This was years ago,I was just out of high school and was sure I'd be a big star.Anyway..They always had one or two name comics to make sure the crowd got some laughs.After ten amatures a pro went on.I was 23rd.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 30th, 2009 ~ 9:21 am

It was a hot summer night and the crowd got drunk fast.This makes it harder to get a laugh. Even the first pro struggled.The second pro had no problem what so ever.He stayed out for twenty min. He had them all but rolling on the floor! His name was Robin Williams! NO shift without the F. The next 3 amatures,includeing me didn't even try to follow his act.Needless to say that was the end of my comedy career.True story.There's more to comedy than just a good joke.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 31st, 2009 ~ 9:01 am

On the old Saturday Night live show they had phony product T.V. ads. I saw an interview with Dan Ackroid who did many of the ads.He said no matter how odd or fake the product was people still wrote in to find where/how to get it. ...So I had to come up with some myself....
New Enemint butt paste:Brush your butt with Enemint Butt Paste for a soft, minty smelling butt.
Diet Larks Vomit for quick weight loss.Made with eppicac and mayonaise. No Larks were harmed makeing this wonder drink.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted December 31st, 2009 ~ 9:44 am

1001 uses for your cat."Book". Honey we're out of toilet paper..here kitty kitty. Morbid huh.
Grenados the breakfast cereal recommended by 9 out 10 Terroist moms.Chock full of explosive goodness?
Grizzle Funkies the only cereal made with bear grease and monkey fur.The grease in them makes them slide right through.The monkey fur provides not only a full days fibber but protine too.Recommended by the 10th terroist mom.
Barump bumpbump
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THESE are NOT real! Do not try them!!

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted January 5th, 2010 ~ 11:29 am

The bi-polar express
A fist full of sissies
For a few sissies more
Gone with the sissy
Driveing Miss sissy
Enter the sissy
Sissyface
The Godsissy 1,2,+3
Willy Wonka and the sissy factory
Supersissy 1- 3
Sissies gone wild
Debbie does Sissies
Mobey Sissy
Sissy Gump
Sissy wars
The hills are alive with the sound of sissies
Sissies save Christmas
Sissy the pink nosed reindeer
Sissy come home
Goldsissy
League of extraordinary sissies
Count Sissyla
The wolfsissy
Sissystine
Abbot and Costello meet a sissy

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted January 6th, 2010 ~ 10:21 am

Sometimes I think I go to far.Then I see real medicine ads that are far worse.Hi colesteral take ×××× May cause kidney failure, fainting,and brain tumors.Should not be taken if nursing,may become pregnate, or you want to continue to live.
Barump bumpbump
Ok ok so the part about brain tumors and staying alive aren't real the rest is!

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted January 6th, 2010 ~ 10:49 am

Even worse now all bussinesses are doing really stupid things.
We're not making as many millions of $ as before.Solution= Layoff half your workforce and triple the price.This hasn't ever worked! And it isn't even funny.Except when they go bankrupt and the CEO has to try to get new Job.Hi I'm so and so I'm qualified because I bankrupted the last company I worked for.What do you mean you won't hire me!
Barump bumpbump

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted January 6th, 2010 ~ 11:15 am

Hi everyone my name is Wanda C.
What..what oh..turn and face the audience.Hope I get a laugh instead of veggies thrown.
Are there any wanted terroist in the crowd tonight? Pause No thank Ala.Pause
Hey HEY I told you invisible ninjas to stop following me.Pointing to nothing.That's right you better run.Do a sissy slap at them.
Shake a leg and take a salt shaker from my pocket and use it as a cell phone.
I told you to not call me at work.Uh huh Uh huh yeah it's always important.Nod and wink at crowd.

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted January 6th, 2010 ~ 11:39 am

Yes if that'll help you can tell them I said so.
Sorry about that, how the Pope got my phone # again I'll never know.Pause for a laugh.Take nothing out of my pocket,use the salt shaker on the nothing I'm about to eat.Stop before taking a bite and sheepishly put the shaker and the nothing back in my pockets.Put finger to chin and act coy.
Hey I'm alive! You must really be a great crowd.Curtsy and leave. Then cry if there's applause.Or cry and throwup if not.
That's my five min. How'd I do?

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Sissy Wanda C

Posted January 6th, 2010 ~ 11:56 am

Note : Believe it or not the act I just did still scares me half to death.Of course at least this time I didn't faint!Just kidding..If I got the laughs and applause on stage I'd continue until they chased me away, most likely they would need a gun!Just kidding again.Ah to dream dreams.
Thank you
Sissy Wanda C
xoxo

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