im confused
i need help and i dont know where to turn
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i have been waffleing on the decision about being a guy or girl
in real life crossdressing is really not my thing it isnt but i dont
i dont feel like a guy completley because i do not feel masculine
because my small size down there my inability to get chest hair
arm hair or facial hair a also am very fat by my legs
then i dont feel like a woman because i have a penis im ugly
and i dunno im confused

how can i tell if a sexchange is good for me or not am i just weird
i do like some girlish stuff but then agaain i also like guyish stuff could i get help im confused is there a way i can get help i still cant tell what i am
*i had dreamt life was beauty and woke up and found out life was duty*
*it is better to be thought the fool and remain silent then to open your mouth and remove all doubt*
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Just go for androgyny. The world isn't black & white, there are other possibilities inbetween. Just do what makes you happy.
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Sissy Kimi
Perfect timing, I was about to start a topic of my own about this; so before I steal any of your attention with my own problems, yet me contribute to your thread. As Jessica said, androgeny may work for you; however, in the US at least, society seems to want to classify people into one thing or the other. They don't want you to be a spork in a world of spoons and forks. I would suggest you see a therapist, or search the web as I have been doing for information related to your delima. Maybe numbers will be able to guide you to the right choice. However, you say you still like to do masculine things, maybe the role of "tomboy" is up you alley? You could still be the woman part of you wants to be, and still get to do masculine things without anyone finding it curious. As it stands right now, it is far more acceptable for a woman to be a football fan than it is for a guy to like professional ice skating.

Now that I have contributed, I would like some assistance with my own problems. That is if you don't mind Nekoboyorgirl. Anyway, I'm not sure what I am, I am a biological male in my early 20s, 20 years and 5 months to be exact. I like being a male, but I am very envious of females. They get to have the variety of clothes, the female bonding experiences, and communicate on an emotional level. However, I also enjoy the masculine conversations of complex ideas, but dislike the superficial conversations of "how's it goin?, did you see the game?", etc. I consider myself a DL, but enjoy a binge/purge cycle to keep it from controling me (I'm binging right now). A few years ago, the idea of being a sissy had no appeal to me, but it has become more and more a part of me, as this has become my dominant site rather than dailydiapers. Yet I have no interest in being the baby girl, I would much rather be the early 20s girl with a diaper mix. My ultimate desire of feminization is to be able to pass as a female, be accepted as one, and then return to being a male. What is odd is that I've tried on female clothes before, tank top, panties, bra, skirt, not all at once though; and I felt nothing enjoyable from it. Not that it was unpleasant, but it was like "okay, now what?" Yet, despite my apparent lack of interest, I am still facinated with them. I not sure I am a sissy/CD/LG/whatever, but I'm not sure that I'm entirely male, I've recently got it in my head that I have a gender identity disorder, and have been searching the web to confirm or deny it. I am not sure of what I am or where I'm going with this.
I would appreciate any comments or advice, but I don't think I want to be transgendered, or a crossdresser, or come out/go out "en femme." I don't know what I want to do, but I can't do anything since I'm not willing to do anything that would change my current status.
-Sissy Kimi, an uncertain sissy (as Gonzo put it a "whatever")
PS Sorry Nekoboyorgirl, I while typing I had wanted to start my own thread rather than blantly steal your, unfortunately I can't seem to "copy, paste" into my own thread, and I don't feel like copying all that by hand; so, sorry. 
"I sorta felt like a sissy"
Southern Belle----Poopy Princess
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nekoboyorgirl
okay i know im glad i live in the u.s. but the problem is im scared what if i go on 50 years as a guy and realize im not a guy inside or worse i get a sex change right away and i am realy a man i want to make up my mind and get awnsers
*i had dreamt life was beauty and woke up and found out life was duty*
*it is better to be thought the fool and remain silent then to open your mouth and remove all doubt*
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Sissy Kimi
What is it that you consider makes you male or female on the inside? Do you feel that the sex type of your brain (male/female) determines you gender, is it your sexual attraction, or is it what you want to be (either a boy or girl). Because you can have a female type brain, with male thoughts, vice versa. I would suggest that you seek some advice from an expert of a therapist to find out what you are on the inside, and possibly a genecist? to find out what you are on the outside (chromosome deficiency, gender disorder, hormone thing, etc). If you can find out what the inside and outside, then you can add your own opinion, what you feel more like, and use that do decide what you are.
-Sissy Kimi
"I sorta felt like a sissy"
Southern Belle----Poopy Princess
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nekoboyorgirl
anyplace to help me find out what i am besides sk
*i had dreamt life was beauty and woke up and found out life was duty*
*it is better to be thought the fool and remain silent then to open your mouth and remove all doubt*
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Sissy Kimi
I actually don't have much of an idea for actual sites. I looked up some transgender sites, found various tests to say what kind of brain you have; but, I don't know if there is an actual site that says you are this or that. Just keep googling till you find what you need; if that doesn't work, head to Barnes and Noble and look in psychology books, or the gay/lesbian section (not saying that's what you are, but whatever you need might be there).
-Sissy Kimi
"I sorta felt like a sissy"
Southern Belle----Poopy Princess
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nekoboyorgirl
well i would like that but im still in highschool is the thing
yay senior year
and librarys i have problems but a good quiz might help me
*i had dreamt life was beauty and woke up and found out life was duty*
*it is better to be thought the fool and remain silent then to open your mouth and remove all doubt*
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Sissy Kimi
I found one quiz that was six parts, and measured your brain gender by the means of tests, responses, and finger ration. It was an actual number thing, but I don't remember what it was called. I scored a 25 on the male side, while the average male scored a 50 on the male side
-Sissy Kimi
"I sorta felt like a sissy"
Southern Belle----Poopy Princess
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Sissy Kimi
Well, I'm going to bed now, so I'll give my last imput for the night. For one your 18, a bit too young to decide something like that. When I was your age, this part of me didn't really exist. Trust me, your opinions of yourself will change, who knows, you may decide your really a man. Secondly, you need not fear getting a sex change and making the wrong choice. You have to see a psyche to go through with it, then live a year as a woman, and then (i'm not sure of your socioeconomic level) getting a sex change isn't cheap, so by the time you get the funding to go through with it, your opinions will have evolved. Anyway, since you didn't already know you were in the wrong gender like Dr. Heather did, I would seriously recommend you consult someone before you rush into anything. If your in high school, talk to your guidence consuler or psych teacher (if there is one), they may look at you funny for the rest of the year, but your issues won't be in the school paper. So, give it some time, ask everyone who could possibly help you without destroying you (eg religious leader, conselors, etc; not your friends (they can turn on you), acquaintences, guy you just met). If it is really who you are, you will find out, if not, then you save yourself grief either way.
-Sissy Kimi
"I sorta felt like a sissy"
Southern Belle----Poopy Princess
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nekoboyorgirl
okay hm i dunno my economic level would be middle class since i live with parents
but if i get major money it wouldnt be such a bad idea
*i had dreamt life was beauty and woke up and found out life was duty*
*it is better to be thought the fool and remain silent then to open your mouth and remove all doubt*
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Sissy Kimi
Well, unfortunately for the majority of us, that kind of stuff falls in the story area; the point being, if you believe you're actually a woman, and want to change your outside to match your inside, you've got a long time to worry if it's the right decision. Find out who you are before you change yourself in ways you can't reverse.
"I sorta felt like a sissy"
Southern Belle----Poopy Princess
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Sissy Kimi
By the way, is there anyone out there watching this thread that can help me?
-Sissy Kimi
"I sorta felt like a sissy"
Southern Belle----Poopy Princess
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nekoboyorgirl
please i would love some advice here
im confused the sooner something goes on with me the better
*i had dreamt life was beauty and woke up and found out life was duty*
*it is better to be thought the fool and remain silent then to open your mouth and remove all doubt*
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Baby Butch
I'm a little confused too! Why do I prefer to be a girl baby? I am a boy.
Why do I like panties, tights, and slips?
I like to date women, why not dress up with them.
Give it more time, a sex change is permanant!
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babie
nothing like a little change in your life keeps from getting boring
likes my fanny in warm hands and to be foundle by anyone you would like to play .
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mustanglover
simply dress the way you want n trim or dont trim the parts you are unhappy with. your young you will figure everything out with time
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little_boy_pink
You are not anything inside, you are just you.
Don't feel down that you don't feel like a girl or a boy, just make sure to know that it really doesn't matter- you are a person not a statistic.
One day in the future you may have a revelation that you want to change how you are on the outside, until then there's no need in thinking about it.
Little boy blue come blow your horn.
The sheep's in the meadow the cow's in the corn!
And where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
SHE's under a haystack diapered neat!
____________
Little boy pink come make a wish
The stars in the sky send you their kiss
As you dream of a world so happy and free
Warm in thick diapers being rocked fast asleep!
-By Funshine Bear.
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Alexandria
INTRODUCTION:
The COGIATI, or COmbined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory is my attempt to fill a void which needs to be filled. There is a need for some sort of test which could be of assistance to the pre-operative, questioning person who is attempting to decide what they want to do about their gender issues. Most transsexuals are not early onset, sure-from-birth cases such as myself. The vast majority of the gender-dysphoric struggle for a long time trying to determine exactly what they really want.
Aside from a few attempts to provide very indefinite suggestions to the person struggling with the question of their own gender, no attempt has been made to create a serious multifaceted battery the sole purpose of which is to help the gender-dysphoric place themselves. The COGIATI is an attempt to accomplish this.


http://www.transsexual.org/cogiati_english.html Good Luck
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P-chan
Hi Nekoboyorgirl, if it's too early for you to decide on a sex change, then that's good. You need to look for professional help on this matter. Rushing in to things is not a good idea. Usually, those seeking a sex change have to live 'en femme' for at least a year before undergoing any surgery at all. Try this and see if it is right for you. Speak to your doctor and ask them to refer you to a psychologist / therapist who can advise you further. Being confused as to who and what we are is a natural, human trait. Speak to you doctor before you decide anything; they will know the next steps for you to take. Hope this makes sense. xx
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CKgirl
Honey if you're not seeing a therapist you need to get one yesterday.
I know it's terrifying, but don't let this continue on the "backburner".

You need to start dealing with it now. Be 100% open and honest.
Get there opinion. You may start with the school therapist. If they
don't seem qualified after a couple weeks of discussion tell your parents
you need a therapist.

I know how awful that idea can sound, but you don't have to tell them
why. Just make sure they know you're not in trouble of any kind, and
you are not ready to discuss it with them yet. If they know you're sure,
and safe, most likely they will help you without pushing too much.

Scary as it may seem you have to deal with this now, or you risk making
this a huge problem later.
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken!

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Alexandria
I hope the Cogiati helped you in a way, but don´t take it too seriously.
Anyway I have a question and this thread seems perfect and starting a thread with the same topic would be....yeah
Like stated aboth I´m confused. I love all things girly. I don´t find any sexual arousment in men nor women. Not at all. All that really "grinds my gears" ist the idea of being a girl. I dress up as othen as I´m home alone use make up basically anything i can get a hold off without my sister noticing. I recently came out to my father and he is totally supportive and says he would pay the therapist and let me live the way I want. That is one week ago but for some reason I´m too scared to order stuff etc...... I really don´t care about my physical sex at all which makes me think that hormones and further actions would be nonsens due to the fact that my basic drives towards humans seemed to be gone. But again I don´t dress up in order to achieve a high in sense of sexual pleasure but just because it feels more natural in way. So I wouldn´t use hormones to get to live as a girl in a sexuall way I wouldn´t even acre about getting an operation, because all I want is to beb able to express myself the way I want which seems to be exactly that what society seems to identify as a girl. I othen get mistaken for a girl, due to the fect that I´m rather slim. Those who mistake me always tell me that I tend to act like a gril and my grandmother lately mentions more othen that I would have been such a cute girl. From time to time I get in a really bad mood which ends in a mental break down( sorry couldn´t fnd a better translation). It mostly happens at night when I think about my present state. I cry all night not being able to get myself to stop until I fall asleep. My parents only caught me once in such a state but i told them some other reason. Telling my fether about my mental breakdowns scared him the most and he again offered to take me too therapist. My major concern is that in the future ( I´m18 now) my sexual drives may kick in and I´ll get in a state of deoression because of the fact that I didn´t take hormones etc. at 18 where they would still work way better than later. My suroundings really are open for anything and I can trust them on this matter, so the only thing that is stopping me from visiting a therapist,living as a girl at home,.... are my own fears of maikng the wrong deccision. So should i visit the therapist? And my secind question to all of you who have gone through similar things or bsaically to any one (All sugestions are welcome(really ALL!)): Do you think that I´m a TG a CD or what would you consider me to be. I know i shouldn´t think in a black ans white manner but being able to identify yourself with some term is very reassuring.
Thx in advance.
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CKgirl
Alexandria sweetie, go to therapy!!!
The only wrong choice is not choosing,
but to make your choice you need professional help =)

btw my guess would be Gender Dysphoria with severe Autogynephilia, and wouldn't be surprised if you were Manic Depressive, hun.

Please see a professional, and figure out what you need to be =)
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken!

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Alexandria
The thing tht stops me from visiting a therapist is the fact that he might influence me in a way that will lead me to a deccision which might not be right. Probably I´m just scared of facing this problem which I always tried to supress as much as possible. I know that procrastinating this will only make things worse and so I will try to get myeslf to tell my father that I need to vivsit the Therapist. The term Autogynephilia is totally new to me, but describes the way I seem to be perfectly which makes me very happy, because I have never found anything which describes my ways. My father told me that in our family this depression problem has always been present which scares me a lot too. I can´t thank you enough for pointing this out to me because it really encourages me, because it has always been difficult to describe this phenomena! THX!!!! 
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Arina
Me I hate shrinks well any type of doctor really because they can make mistakes but a lot seem to think they know better then we do cause they went to school for so long and we havn't bother to learn what they did. They may have taken the right classes for there job but it doesn't mean they understand how you work at all. I am sorry to say the only way you are truly going to learn if your a guy or a girl is to do some serious soul searching. Though I must add you are lucky you don't get any body hair I hate that I do.
I rather be pleasing a Mistress then a Master sorry guys that want to be a daddy for me but I'm more of a Momma's Girl.
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Sis_C
For me, I have always known Im diffrent when it comes to my sexuality. I have spent a lot of time since I started to seriously think about it at around age 13. I am now 35 and I have not yet reached any conclusions.
I am maybe just as confused as I was before, the only diffrence being that now, I have more experiance and have spent long hours in contemplation on the subject. That said, I have as of yet went and seen a therapist, although over the last 4 years I have been wanting too, lack of insurance, and fear that I may loose the perception that I am in control, has prevented me.
For me, the feelings are complicated as well. I have been dressing up in female clothes since I was 4 (started with my younger sisters plastic pants, worked up to dresses from there, use to play dress up with my sis and her friends.), I have fantasied since I can remember about being turned into a girl. When I was a teen, my fantasies always involved a girl and me, but I would get transformed into a girl and treated as such by men. The thing was, I would not be thinking about the man, just the penis. It is very awkward, being attracted to girls, at the same time wanting to be like one. This of course made dating impossible, as I was always afraid of being found out, and like it has been stated already, people in general just are not ready to accept people like us.
I have no answers for you really, only I hope you can maybe understand that your not alone in feeling confused, and that with help from people like there are here at Sissy Kiss, then maybe you can find your way.
If your worried about changing, don't, that is the one conclusion I have come up with.
Last night I had this dream, first one in a long time that had a sissy theme to it. In what i can remember from the dream, I was dressed up in a very pretty pink dress, sitting in the back of a car, with a few others just like me, and we were heading out to somewhere for the first time. The feelings from the dream are so strong even now, that my heart is all a flutter. This is telling me, that my mind and body are very open to the idea of a change, but still, not all of me is on board with becoming female.
I have started to look at myself as a part time girl, but the idea of living like a girl for awhile intrigues me a lot. I have decided to take some of my tax return and rent a hotel room somewhere out of town, and then spend a weekend dressed completely as a woman, to see how I like it. Although I know that I probably will never pass as a woman, I am still thinking of maybe trying to go out in public while dressed, to see If I can handle it or not. I was thinking of maybe trying to find a CD/tg friendly bar somewhere and try to go to it for a night. This way I can find out just how far I am really willing to go. I need to know for my sanity's sake just who I am.
All I can really tell you is that you must spend a very long time looking inward, it is only you who can tell you who you really are.... Um does that make sense lol
In other words, while it is a very good idea to ask others who share like views, and are experiencing what you are, it is the reason I joined this site, in the end it is only you who can decide what is right for you. You are not alone, and if you have someone in your life that has accepted you for you, then talk with them, even if it is uncomfortable, the more you talk about it, the more you think about it, the more accepted it becomes for yourself, and in turn others. I fought these feelings for a long time, then about 10 years ago, I just started to give in to the feelings, and now slowly over the last 10 years, I have started to understand myself a little better. It is very complicated, but I am starting to understand who I am. I just wish I had someone close to me in which I could find another perspective on the matter, and not have to go this road all alone.

Good luck to you all, I hope that by sharing our thoughts and experiences we can help each other find ourselves.

I didn't realize this was so long.
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