I don't think I belong here

PG I don't think I belong here

Ghost_Girl

Posted on October 29th, 2011 ~ 9:02 pm

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I think I might be going insane.

I'm a trans girl who's only been living as a woman for a few months, but I'm getting increasing feelings that I'm not a woman. I'm a girl. I'm about 10.

It's been getting more and more, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and I'm really scared.

I have a girlfriend and recently I've been trying to avoid doing anything with her because it just feels so wrong.
kissing is ok but as soon as she tries to put her tongue in my mouth I don't like it. I'm a child! It feels really really wrong. I have to tell her but it's hard, I don't know how. How can I tell her this? It's so strange.

I love hanging out with her and talking and making cake and playing but I think she'll be really upset it I tell her I don't want to play *that* game anymore. The idea of sex scares me now

Are there people like me?

Am I going insane?

I don't know what to do. I'm really frightened

Kiss this post?

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Baby Butch

Posted October 29th, 2011 ~ 10:54 pm

Welcome to Sissy Kiss, I have no answer for you, hope it all works out. : )

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ReneDescartes

Posted October 29th, 2011 ~ 11:11 pm

I have to ask, would you like it if a guy stuck his tongue in your mouth? It may be you're a little girl at heart or maybe you like guys? I think you need to figure out exactly who and what you are. Don't worry, it's all good!

As for being in the right place, SK has every flavor of everything so it may be just the right place for you to explore yourself. Where you wind up is up to you but you'll find acceptance here. I haven't figured out myself yet, but SK helps a lot!

with my deepest curtsy for all,

Sissy Renee

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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PandaGoLucky

Posted October 30th, 2011 ~ 8:14 pm

I can understand a little bit.

Since exploring my ageplay/girl side, I've found myself less attracted to sex itself over time which can be tough with a girlfriend. Just try and remember that this is a huge part of you, but it should never be the only thing that defines you IN MY OPINION. It's the most beautiful people in the world who can exist in these multiple states, but remember it's going to take effort to balance being a "little" with being a lover and a person.

I'm sending you my best wishes and please let us know if you have anything to vent or ask!

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littlegirl_inside

Posted October 30th, 2011 ~ 9:16 pm

I know what you are feeling and belive me I can understand you are confused and scared.

There is a difference between 'being' a child inside and ageplay. Ageplay is more about adults playing at being children whereas feeling like a child is different. I am an eternal child, emotionally I am around 2. Mentally I am an adult, I can live in the adult world, but emotioanlly I never matured which conflicts in my day to day to life. I have always felt childish, adult things tend to confuse me and whilst I don't act like a child inside I am very much a child.

The child was repressed for many years as I fought to be accepted as an adult but little things (and big things) made adulthood not a nice place to be. I am very timid inside, confrontation scares me, driving a car scares me, even usig the potty scares me. I get easily bored with adult conversation, I get sulky, I get over excited, I'm not good at potty aside of being scared.

So sex was something that ultimatley was not going to happen. I tried but it didnt feel right, kissing, cuddling, foreplay if you will was fine, but penetration, it felt wrong. Now having a very small willy didnt help matters and the fact it didnt do what it should for long was also a factor, but in reality it felt wrong because I am a child.

Witth the help of my Mummy I now fully accept and love who I am, I might have the body of 40 something man, I might be able to walk into a bar and buy a drink, but the real me is a 2 year old girl. I am happy to be an eternal child, I never want to grow up, I never did, in-fact I never can grow up.

You are not alone there are more of us out there. You don't need to be scared. You are NOT insane, believe me.

PM me anytime

Samantha

~cliques~

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littlebabyzena

Posted October 31st, 2011 ~ 12:50 am

dont worry its completely normal if your girlfriend is accepting of you being a t girl just let her on slowly and tell her how it is or i just let my gf figure it out on her own but gave her plenty of hints :) its normal and if it makes you happy then who is to say that you cant do it. just remember you can do what you want cause its your life

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Marchelle

Posted October 31st, 2011 ~ 2:15 am

Just think of something important in your head that's not related to roleplay. Repeat your phone number silently in your mind.

Was that inner voice the voice of a little girl? If not, you're fine. Probably just some anxiety with some issues in your lifestyle.

I try to get in good exercise and eat more fruit. May I suggest taking up jogging. It's a great way to work things through in the mind.

Good luck.

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Ghost_Girl

Posted October 31st, 2011 ~ 9:02 am

I do like boys but the idea that they might want to put their tongue in my mouth is kind of gross. Having said that I used to let boys do all sorts of things way more gross than that.

I've told my girlfriend now. She's being really supportive. She did cry a lot at first but I think it's ok now. We're not going to have sex. She's allowed to sleep with people when she wants.

I'm feeling a lot happier now, I'm not so scared. I think everything will be ok. I don't need that much looking after, I'm pretty independant and stuff. And she's going to stay with me.

Thank you everyone for your replies, it's helped a lot. I'm just going to not worry about it and let myself feel how I feel.

x

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Prissie

Posted October 31st, 2011 ~ 10:12 am

Dear Ghost Girl:

Yes, there are people like you.

No, you're not insane!

And there's nothing wrong with saying no to anything that makes you uncomfortable.

You happen to be a Young Girl. Or if you prefer to call it that, a Little Girl. There so happens to be a web site, forum. girltalk. to, just for those of us who are Little Girls at heart. Drop me a PM if you're interested in joining.

But meanwhile, please .... enjoy your participation here in ye merrie SissyKiss. We have room for a broad spectrum of transgender people. If you have a yen to be ten, that's ok. I like to think of myself as 8. Its gr8 to be 8, and fine to be nine. Whatever you are, you are and that's ok.

Curtsies in the best Little Girl tradition,

Prissie

Prissie

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