PG Coming Out to Myself: Hardest Part
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I've been in a haze of denial for a lot of my life; now, I have come to terms with who I am and what I want. This comes, however, at a cost I didn't expect. Instead of feeling liberated by my honesty, I find myself in constant states of depression. I look at myself in the mirror and cannot resist thinking that I am a freak and abnormal [though this site did teach me that I'm not the only one; something for which I am immensely grateful]. I loath myself for wanting to be in a Mommy or Daddy's arms, like the little baby that I want to be; like the infant that I know I truly am. These bouts of self hate are only enhanced by the fact that I could not look the part less. Even though I am short [well, kind of, about 5 foot], I am stout, a size fourteen. I have an older looking face and a womanly figure. I am the last person that would be expected to be a little baby girl; but these are the things that I want. Things I fear I need. I apologize for my "emo-kid' rant. I am just at the end. I have tried many things; I have scars on my arm from self harm and too many tear tracks on my face. Any advice would be appreciated, even if it is just grow up [I guess grow down, in this case] and accept myself. Thanks.
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littlegirl_inside


 I've been in a haze of denial for a lot of my life; now, I have come to terms with who I am and what I want. This comes, however, at a cost I didn't expect. Instead of feeling liberated by my honesty, I find myself in constant states of depression. I look at myself in the mirror and cannot resist thinking that I am a freak and abnormal [though this site did teach me that I'm not the only one; something for which I am immensely grateful]. I loath myself for wanting to be in a Mommy or Daddy's arms, like the little baby that I want to be; like the infant that I know I truly am. These bouts of self hate are only enhanced by the fact that I could not look the part less. Even though I am short [well, kind of, about 5 foot], I am stout, a size fourteen. I have an older looking face and a womanly figure. I am the last person that would be expected to be a little baby girl; but these are the things that I want. Things I fear I need. I apologize for my "emo-kid' rant. I am just at the end. I have tried many things; I have scars on my arm from self harm and too many tear tracks on my face. Any advice would be appreciated, even if it is just grow up [I guess grow down, in this case] and accept myself. Thanks.  




Ok sweetie, deep breath. You are not that first and you wont be the last to experience these feelings, I have gone through similar issues to you.

The most important thing to realise is your desires will not go away, there is no cure, no magic wand to wish it away and you need to come to terms with this. Self harming and all that entails will not make it go away.

The next thing you need to do is take a look at what your desires are, are they really that bad? You dont harm anyone, you are not a bad person. So you feel more happy as a baby girl, so what? Thousands of people do, you're guilt of your feelings comes from the fact society as a whole do not understand, so in your mind this equals bad.

Look at it this way, a guy who dresses up as a Roman soldier and goes out with other guys to pretend to fight a battle is not gonna sit in his flat at night and think he is doing something wrong and it's the kind of state of mind you need to find. Having said that I wouldnt ever walk down the street in a pink dress and nappy, but what I am trying to say is there really isnt a lot of difference between the two of you.

Looking like a baby girl is not the reason any of of us dress up like that, there are really not many who can dress and look like a little girl. It's about feelings.

Dont feel shame sweetie, there is nothing shameful in what you do. We are all different in our reasons for doing what we do, there are those that just like to dress up as an escape from everyday life, others who tap into childhood but from a female point of view, those who feel happier as little girls and so many more. As you have said, you are not alone.

I know it's hard but accepting yourself will make you feel so much better. Whether you just say 'so I dress as a baby girl sometimes, so what' or 'yes I am a sissy and I am happy with that', the key is to find yourself and accept yourself.

Take care sweetie x x x
Samantha



~cliques~

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sissybabykaty
You have to accept yourself, trust me i know its not easy. I hated myself at one time cause i thought the same way. I was a freak but really who decides what is normal. what may be normal for you is dressing like a baby. For me its being a sissy baby among other things. You have to love yourself for who you are. You arent alone, Im sure you see that even here at sissy kiss. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me. Im sure others would do the same. Its a process one that takes time, you have taken the hardest step already and admitting to you yourself just want you want. You deserve to be loved and happy. I tell myself that every morning when I wake up. I agree with Samantha, Its all about accepting yourself for who you are
Don't pretend, I think you know I'm precious
And I am the mother f______ princess

Hugs and sissy kisses,

Sissy Baby Katy

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wittle_bwittany
oh sweetie, you poor little thing! i hate seeing posts like this! you shouldnt hate yourself just because your a baby girl at heart! you shouldnt hate yourself just for being who you are (if your an axe wielding phycho killer you should hate yourself, but just being a baby isnt a bad thing.)

as far as that goes, being a baby could be a good thing. if you find a woman with a nurturing nature then she should love your baby needs.

please dont hurt yourself for just being yourself. its not worth it. dont let the world tell you who to be or how to be. thats a decision on you can make and dont let society tell you its wrong!

cause if it makes you happy and its not hurting anyone, what could possibly be wrong with it?


love always,

brittany
i am brittany her royal puffiness!!!

im officially in love with the color pink.

*hugs and kisses for all*
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Purplebaby1
Thank you gals so much for your support. Some days are easier than others. I always feel like I make good progress and then fall back down. Such as, during the holidays, my family gets together. During some small talk, a family member brings up an episode of some crime show where the man was an adult baby. My family then rants for a good fifteen minutes about what a freak he is, and something should really be done about people like that. I have to learn to not their comments bother me, but they still do. I really appreciate everyone's nice words though. They mean a lot. One day at a time, I suppose.
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Fairy_Boy
I agree with the above posts; it takes time to accept who you are - it's taken me over 20 years and I'm still working on it. Bit it does get better. Who and what you are and who and what you want to doesn't matter. What the rest of society thinks about how you feel doesn't matter. Your acceptance of yourself is all that matters. I know that my (and others) saying that doesn't make it any easier to bear, but it's true nontheless. How you feel inside is what is impotant, not what you look like. We all have some kind of self-image here, whatever that may be, but the reality will quite probably be very different (I don't have fiary wings, except when i play dress up) but I accept that. I'm not sure that what I've said will help, but really it's just about you accepting that you are who you are. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror and smile, then who cares? Being yourself is never easy (and I know all about that, as will most here) but you dont have to be alone (at least metaphorically) - use the forums here to get / keep in touch with others - we're all in ths together, for better or for worse. Please remember, you are not worse than anyone else in the world just becaue you want to be babied by a mummy you're just you. I genuinely wish youall the best. *hugs and kisses* Fiary Boy. XXXXX
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Purplebaby1
Thank you for your kind words, Fairy_Boy. I found them to be quite nice and helpful. Any support I can get is lovely and appreciated.
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littlegirl_inside
Sissies have a great sence of support, most of us have been through what you are going through and understand. PM me anytime x x x
Samantha



~cliques~

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Fairy_Boy


 Thank you for your kind words, Fairy_Boy. I found them to be quite nice and helpful. Any support I can get is lovely and appreciated.  




You're very welcome Purplebaby1. I can always be reached by PM / e-mail if you need or want. *fairy hugs and kisses*
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Prissie
No matter what the cold cruel world as a whole thinks, here you are accepted for what you are. I am greatly saddened to hear you have been cutting yourself, or whatever. Please stop. I wish you all the best for the just-begun year 2012 to be the year you finally come to terms with yourself.

Peace and SissyGirlLuv,


Prissie
   Prissie
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jamie


 I've been in a haze of denial for a lot of my life; now, I have come to terms with who I am and what I want. This comes, however, at a cost I didn't expect. Instead of feeling liberated by my honesty, I find myself in constant states of depression. I look at myself in the mirror and cannot resist thinking that I am a freak and abnormal [though this site did teach me that I'm not the only one; something for which I am immensely grateful]. I loath myself for wanting to be in a Mommy or Daddy's arms, like the little baby that I want to be; like the infant that I know I truly am. These bouts of self hate are only enhanced by the fact that I could not look the part less. Even though I am short [well, kind of, about 5 foot], I am stout, a size fourteen. I have an older looking face and a womanly figure. I am the last person that would be expected to be a little baby girl; but these are the things that I want. Things I fear I need. I apologize for my "emo-kid' rant. I am just at the end. I have tried many things; I have scars on my arm from self harm and too many tear tracks on my face. Any advice would be appreciated, even if it is just grow up [I guess grow down, in this case] and accept myself. Thanks.  




Hi Purplebaby,
I have a similar problem with your problem. I am older; I am not handsome or pretty, and I am too tall and built (male) to be passable. I stopped worrying about being a freak or "different" long ago. I just decided to make the best of my female-emotional side and enjoy being who I truly am. I worked up the nerve to take belly-dancing lessons, and stuck with it. From there, I began crossdressing. At the time, the internet was just beginning, and there were no sissy sites. I live in the SF Bay Area. There are a lot of gay people around who could help me. I found places to buy female clothing. As I learned to cross-dress more-and-more, I also gradually lost my fear of buying women's apparel in department stores for myself. The only problem was that I still lived with my parents; I had to keep it all hidden. Eventually I told my Mom, because I was afraid she would find it and be shocked. She accepted me, but I could not crossdress around her. Later I stopped crossdressing due to my other interests and hobbies. I began collecting and playing with dollies. I still play with dolls, and I absolutely love it! My sissy-side blossomed again a few years ago and I was able to cross-dress in beautiful sissy-little-girl dwessies. I don't dwess often, but I cherish by dwessies. I still have my older dresses and lingerie as well.

My only regret is that I wanted my Mom to hold me while I was my female me. I was afraid she would get shocked, so I didn't appear before her in my female attire. I wanted to be held and loved in my true inner persona.

I adore being sissy, and I don't need to be afraid of what anyone thinks when I am with my dollies. I separate the "outside world" from the "inside world" to function. I believe in myself; the "outside world" is crazy. I live for affection, and I adore those who I can love.

Thank you for being sissy adult-baby. I love you very much. Jamie 
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