Am I Alone? I Suffer From Mental Abuse
Mental Illness & It's Effects
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I am a suffer of mental illness and have been for a long time. Which I shall explain more about in a moment. I may lose friends over this, though I hope I wont, your first thoughts are going to be oh no, I must be crazy.

I can assure that I am not anything of the sort. My mental illness began from the very moment of my childhood, when my parents found out about me wearing girls clothes, my being their son, this was wrong in their eyes and they were sadly the sort of people that told me such a thing was a sin to want to be and dress like a girl and that I would go to Hell.

This is very true, I swear on my very life. I wish it was not true, but true it is, I did not realize that such things would effect me on an emotional and mental level, but that was not all my parents said or did to me. From there on in I could do no right in their eyes, they made me feel so bad about my self, I felt I did such a huge wrong that I had a lot to be sorry for.

To the point I now to this very day say sorry for things I really do not need to be sorry for, sadly I really can not help it, I sincerely wish that I could, but I can't. It gets worse, much worse, but I feel it is about time those who know me, knew finally the truth.

My parents told me that I would never achieve or do anything with my life and that was bad enough within itself, I was pretty much at that point feeling much worthless,
I had hoped my teachers at school would be supportive towards me, but they too had told me how my parents were right.

That I really will not ever achieve anything or be anything in life. That made me feel twice as worthless, that what I had up until that point, been already feeling deep inside of me. So my emotional and mental state only doubled.

And it did not stop there, there were people I met both past and present that have in one way or anther said or done something to me that has truly and most greatly effected both on an emotional and mental level.

But worst of all.... I am sorry to say that I hear voices in my mind, have done so for a long time, voices of the past and present all merged into one, taunting me with those harsh and nasty things that have been said to me.

I just thought it was all part of my being depressed, though that is true, there was more to it than that, I found out a few months back that I am sincerely truly classed as being mentally abused.

That it is the very things people have told me over time that have effected my mental state on a serious deep level which only makes me become very upset to the point of sever depression. Details of which I do not wish to go into right now, suffice to say they have been bad and now..... things are sadly worse.

I do a lot of things to take my mind of the voices that I hear in my head and at one point I did not hear them all the time, it had been bad enough my suffering emotionally from other things too, those things are too personal for me to mention and it was not easy admitting I hear voices in my head as I know how crazy that makes me sound to be like.

But please bare in mind what I told you. I have always been a very sensitive person from childhood, right through growing up and one thing I was not aware of or could be, how my mind being so sensitive, as well as my emotions would all be effected at at which the deep level those things would be, imbedded into the very depths of my mind.

Over time things have been building up, my depression etc. More importantly those voices in my head have been getting stronger to the point that there are days I can not shut them out of my head what so ever.

I have have tried everything, I really have... Sad to say this whole thing goes so deep, deeper than I can say or put into words. Its very serious, so much so... I only have two options to end my torment along with my suffering.

1: To End My Life

2: To Under Go Full & Complete Mind Regression To Being Regressed To Being Like A real Baby In Every Way.

Option one is simply no option at all, option 2 is dangerous, it does has have a very serious side to it and there could be complications, even if my creative side etc can be saved in someway, so that I still may be able to write my stories.

There is no real way of guarantee that my creative talent etc will be as it is I have it now, one I have worked so hard to develop, to a point to prove my parents and my teachers wrong, that I can achieve and be something.

But for every personal achievement I have made, those voices in my mind have taunted and tormented me with such force, I have fallen into one set of deep depression after another. There is in all sincerity nothing on any real medical grounds in which to help or cure me.

I have been suffering long term emotional and mental scars for far too long ones that run so deep, some of them are never really going to fully heal. Regression although it does not offer my ever being fully and completely healed, it does however offer me a chance to not only heal as much as possible, it offers also to rid me of my demons, those voices in my head.

They could either go completely or at least be sent so far into the far back of my mind where they no longer can surface. What ever now anyone here may think of me, knowing what I am considering and wish to do with my life.

It is more than my wish, it is my sincere need, I can not stand the suffering any more, those voices in my head are not going away and they are only getting much worse. Right now the best I have is momentary relief.

Thanks to what I am receiving right now, but it is nothing permanent. I honestly do not know how much longer I will be able to go on posting stories here at sissykiss.

I have been very lucky to manage this far... But I am near, so close to a point now in my life, where my mental illness is very serious to the point of causing even physical health problems too.

I was on the verge of wanting to leave sissykiss all together, I can tell you that I have fought so, so very hard against that. Sissykiss is my family, has been ever since I came here.

I need my family right now to support me in what ever way you can please. Not only that, I am going to need you all once I have become fully regressed... I may not be around much, then again I do not know what the true outcome will be.

I hope that I am not the only to suffer from a mental illness, more so, from mental abuse and more importantly. That I am not the only to hear voices in my head, it disturbs me very much that I do suffer from such a thing and it not something I would joke about or make up in any way either.

Please remember everything that I have said before commenting. Thank you all.
   


I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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Mistress HeartSin
No you are not alone. If you want to talk I am always open to listening. 
May your life be filled with love my presous ones. I was once asked how I came by the name Mistress HeaetSin, it was simple really.My first love told me I was his hearts greatest sin, and years later I still am. I will always be everything he wanted but I will forever be out of his reach. :
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baby5522
Mistress HeartSin, Curtsies to you.


Thank you so, so very much for your reply and kind offer, I will send you a private message right away.


HUGS & KISSES



 No you are not alone. If you want to talk I am always open to listening.   



I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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LMPP
I wish I could help u baby......I enjoy your stories.......I'd say most of us here suffer from mental abuse, but not like you had it, well some probably : (

Do you live alone?......cuz I did for 5 years after my divorce and almost went nuts, also was starting to hear things.....I have some suggestions and support if you wanna pm me?

Happy Valentine's Day : )
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baby5522
Fank you LMPP Fwo your comment, mes not live alone, but wifs dat said, the person who lives wifs me, no make fings any better fwo me, but me wub rather not say here in public. Mes will send you a PM here sometime today.


Again, fank you, and fwo your offer of suggestions.


HUGGLES & KWISSES
   



 I wish I could help u baby......I enjoy your stories.......I'd say most of us here suffer from mental abuse, but not like you had it, well some probably : (

Do you live alone?......cuz I did for 5 years after my divorce and almost went nuts, also was starting to hear things.....I have some suggestions and support if you wanna pm me?

Happy Valentine's Day : )  



I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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sissyboy0000
I completely understand, even though my parents did not act that way,or at least chose not to show it, I feel your pain. All though out middle school I was treated the same as well as in high school. People one time threw things at me and filmed it as well as put it up on the internet. People would also whisper things like "be nice to him or he will bring a gun to school and shoot us." I also occasionally hear a voice to saying how i'm good for nothing trash. And I get how you fell about the baby thing to I have the same contemplation about it. So if you ever need a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on please let me know. *hugs and kisses*  
All we want in life is someone to cuddle, a skirt, and a clean diaper. (oh wait that's just me *giggles*)
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baby5522
Fank you Sissyboy fwo your comment and offer too, mes sincerely appreciate it. Mes wub wike to fank those who hab weplied to this post so far. Mes was not weally sure if mes wub get any, so mes fank you all fwom da wery bottom of my heart and soul.


Oh, ifs mes hab not sent any PM's to those me said mes wub sned one too as yet, pwease bare wifs me, mes will send dem out asap. Mes pwomise to get those PM's done, some will be delayed, which mes is sowwy fwo, but mes will do all me can to get around doing them. Hard part is habing a moment when mes can fink clearly to type, which is not often and hard to do when these voices in my head delight in not leaving me alone and keep tormenting me.


So pwease be patient wifs me, mes will send out those PM's da soonest moment me can do so.


HUGGLES & KWISSES
 


 I completely understand, even though my parents did not act that way,or at least chose not to show it, I feel your pain. All though out middle school I was treated the same as well as in high school. People one time threw things at me and filmed it as well as put it up on the internet. People would also whisper things like "be nice to him or he will bring a gun to school and shoot us." I also occasionally hear a voice to saying how i'm good for nothing trash. And I get how you fell about the baby thing to I have the same contemplation about it. So if you ever need a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on please let me know. *hugs and kisses*    



I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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lilakiko
U and many of us are really NEVER alone. All you need to do it try to find us. My own father have tried to kill me a few times as a was growing up when i told him was his daughter and not his son. My mother threaten to dress me up like a boy in girl clothes and leave me in the middle of town when i was a kid. My memory's of school is pure HELL. I had very few friends and i really hated looking like a boy at all. I too Herbs that enhance female Hormones and blocked out males in the body. I've poison hanged and cut my self and yet I'm still here. I've been close to DEATH many times. I can count on my 2 hands only how many times i was happy to wake up. Other times I wishing for DEATH. Your not alone at all. I wish i could weave a spell to make here on this site who they truly are so that you everyone would be happy. I have not cried in a long time came close but no. I held it all inside. The little girl in my heart sheds my tears of sadness because she can not come out and play. She cry's in fear that if she every shows her self that she well be hurt my many bad people. She cry's because she fear that she well never be love only hurt, like we are so use to now. I loves your stories and many other on this lovely site. It one of the very few thing in life that keeps me from just shoot my self in the heart last week on my Birthday. Chatting with you and your mommy was the HIGHLIGHT of my Birthday that day. Because I truly knew then that i was not alone in the way i feels each day of my life. So if you are anyone else ever needs some to chat too just drop me a line I well answer i check this site every single day no matter what. I love to chat and i love to lesson to others. That what girlfriends and friends are for right.
So smile because we are out there waiting with a smile and a hug just for you and anyone like us. All you have too do is reach out and accept the hugs.
Sweet Dreams and May the Heaven Smile down on you alls
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baby5522
Awww, and oh wow.... fank so much sis Lilakiko fwo such nice moving words, mes is lost fwo words to say, other dan fank you so, so, so wery much.


HUGGLES & KWISSES
 



 U and many of us are really NEVER alone. All you need to do it try to find us. My own father have tried to kill me a few times as a was growing up when i told him was his daughter and not his son. My mother threaten to dress me up like a boy in girl clothes and leave me in the middle of town when i was a kid. My memory's of school is pure HELL. I had very few friends and i really hated looking like a boy at all. I too Herbs that enhance female Hormones and blocked out males in the body. I've poison hanged and cut my self and yet I'm still here. I've been close to DEATH many times. I can count on my 2 hands only how many times i was happy to wake up. Other times I wishing for DEATH. Your not alone at all. I wish i could weave a spell to make here on this site who they truly are so that you everyone would be happy. I have not cried in a long time came close but no. I held it all inside. The little girl in my heart sheds my tears of sadness because she can not come out and play. She cry's in fear that if she every shows her self that she well be hurt my many bad people. She cry's because she fear that she well never be love only hurt, like we are so use to now. I loves your stories and many other on this lovely site. It one of the very few thing in life that keeps me from just shoot my self in the heart last week on my Birthday. Chatting with you and your mommy was the HIGHLIGHT of my Birthday that day. Because I truly knew then that i was not alone in the way i feels each day of my life. So if you are anyone else ever needs some to chat too just drop me a line I well answer i check this site every single day no matter what. I love to chat and i love to lesson to others. That what girlfriends and friends are for right.
So smile because we are out there waiting with a smile and a hug just for you and anyone like us. All you have too do is reach out and accept the hugs.
Sweet Dreams and May the Heaven Smile down on you alls  



I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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Cushie Chloe
Sweetie, people are remembered for three things. Words, Actions and Influence. Some people have one or two. Some don't have any. You on the other hand have all three. You are a wonderful person and you will always be my friend no matter what happens to you. I can't think of a day where I did not hope that you would be able to talk to me. You have that effect on people. You give off an aura of kindness which is unmatched. I want the best for you, nothing will seperate the friendship between you and I.
I love you, always
Your Sissy Baby Sister Katie


I wuv everyone no matter what.
I am happy to take any cutie that needs me :)

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baby5522
Fank you sis Katie fwo your wery kind and wonderful words, mes appweciate dem wery much.


HUGGLES & KWISSES
   



 Sweetie, people are remembered for three things. Words, Actions and Influence. Some people have one or two. Some don't have any. You on the other hand have all three. You are a wonderful person and you will always be my friend no matter what happens to you. I can't think of a day where I did not hope that you would be able to talk to me. You have that effect on people. You give off an aura of kindness which is unmatched. I want the best for you, nothing will seperate the friendship between you and I.
I love you, always
Your Sissy Baby Sister Katie  



I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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SISSYJOSHUA
my parents never found out but they were not supportive and thought me a freak for being bisexual but either way its not a sin thats probably whats made it more fell like its bad sense you were caught and they didn't like it means in my mind they were ignorant but also that you should embrace the sissy side of you doesn't matter if they dont except you its who you are
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baby5522
Fank you wery much SISSYJOSHUA fwo your nice comment and fwo sharing that with me, mes wery grateful.

HUGGLES & KWISSES



 my parents never found out but they were not supportive and thought me a freak for being bisexual but either way its not a sin thats probably whats made it more fell like its bad sense you were caught and they didn't like it means in my mind they were ignorant but also that you should embrace the sissy side of you doesn't matter if they dont except you its who you are  











I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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Kawaii Pi
you're not alone at all Amy, i have nearly all the same conditions and symptoms as u except i may have more.

i have voices come into my head sometimes, but not very often. when i was in 8th grade, i was being bullied constantly and one day it got me to the point of wetting myself, literally. i was taken home, left alone, and i cried for about 30 minutes. then i started to hear voices whisper in my head to cut my wrist, and being a total submissive, i couldnt fight it as they were too persuasive to try to second guess at. i ended up doing it for about 10 minutes, and a multitude of cuts were on my arm. i ended up being taken to an institution for about 3 weeks, and not knowing at the time tht wrist slashing is a form of offing yourself, i was put on suicide-watch.

the weks went by smoothly except that i had lost alot of weight cause the food literally made me sick to my stomach and i had to rely upon my moms weekly visits to be able to eat food that went through smoothly. during the three weeks i was there, i was seen by a psychiatrist named Dr. Babatolu (he was the child to african immigrants) and he confirmed that i had two new conditions to add to my long list: Bipolar Syndrome and Schizo-Tipple Tendencies (im sure i spelt that right) the tendencies are a l8ighter form of schizophrenia, which creates a dual entity inside the mind of the afflicted individual. Tendencies, however, usually only appear when one is depressed or stressed out to the point of breaking down.

I went through constant mental abuse since 6th grade and its gone on everyday since then. i was originally blackmailed into spewing all my secrets to this mean girl named Amy Starling, and it spread like wildfire through the halls. ever since that first breakdown ive had 3 more: 1st in Freshman year when i wore a pink miniskirt to school and was recorded via cell phone and sent to youtube (TG they deleted it) the second was when i ended up dressing like a cat and started having "instinctual impulses" and the third was when i ended up carving my exe's name into my hand. now there's a scar there that reads STEPH, and i totaly regret it.

the bottom line is, i know wat ur going through, and its not becuase your crazy or messed up or anything like that... its becuase you've been mentally traumatized by all your harsh and hostile experiences with your ignroant superiors growing up. i became pretty open about it tho i get nervous talking to rl friends and family about it. i know this may seem like a dark read but its just to reassure you that your not alone and your not crazy... you just need some TLC.

Hope this helps u feel better ^^
 Hugs and kisses from Kawaii Pi! (Aura)
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baby5522
Aww thank you so, so much for your comment, but most of all for sharing that with me and it helps beyond words alone can say, yours and others who have opened up to me here because of this post.


So I am glad I did come out and share this, I never really expecting anything to come from this, etc. I had a hope at least for people to be supportive. Show the things others like you that have commented, not only that at the same time have shared something with me and that means so much to me beyond mention.


I would like us to be friends, if you would like that? I appreciated this and what you have shard with me so much. Thank you, I sincerely can not thank you enough.


HUGGLES & KWISSES



 you're not alone at all Amy, i have nearly all the same conditions and symptoms as u except i may have more.

i have voices come into my head sometimes, but not very often. when i was in 8th grade, i was being bullied constantly and one day it got me to the point of wetting myself, literally. i was taken home, left alone, and i cried for about 30 minutes. then i started to hear voices whisper in my head to cut my wrist, and being a total submissive, i couldnt fight it as they were too persuasive to try to second guess at. i ended up doing it for about 10 minutes, and a multitude of cuts were on my arm. i ended up being taken to an institution for about 3 weeks, and not knowing at the time tht wrist slashing is a form of offing yourself, i was put on suicide-watch.

the weks went by smoothly except that i had lost alot of weight cause the food literally made me sick to my stomach and i had to rely upon my moms weekly visits to be able to eat food that went through smoothly. during the three weeks i was there, i was seen by a psychiatrist named Dr. Babatolu (he was the child to african immigrants) and he confirmed that i had two new conditions to add to my long list: Bipolar Syndrome and Schizo-Tipple Tendencies (im sure i spelt that right) the tendencies are a l8ighter form of schizophrenia, which creates a dual entity inside the mind of the afflicted individual. Tendencies, however, usually only appear when one is depressed or stressed out to the point of breaking down.

I went through constant mental abuse since 6th grade and its gone on everyday since then. i was originally blackmailed into spewing all my secrets to this mean girl named Amy Starling, and it spread like wildfire through the halls. ever since that first breakdown ive had 3 more: 1st in Freshman year when i wore a pink miniskirt to school and was recorded via cell phone and sent to youtube (TG they deleted it) the second was when i ended up dressing like a cat and started having "instinctual impulses" and the third was when i ended up carving my exe's name into my hand. now there's a scar there that reads STEPH, and i totaly regret it.

the bottom line is, i know wat ur going through, and its not becuase your crazy or messed up or anything like that... its becuase you've been mentally traumatized by all your harsh and hostile experiences with your ignroant superiors growing up. i became pretty open about it tho i get nervous talking to rl friends and family about it. i know this may seem like a dark read but its just to reassure you that your not alone and your not crazy... you just need some TLC.

Hope this helps u feel better ^^  











I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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Kawaii Pi
it feels really good knowing that my advice can go so far! In school i'm still treated horribly by my peers, and they usually amount me as being worthless, so it's really good to know that i can help so much! I would love to be friends, and i hope it lasts a lifetime ^^
 Hugs and kisses from Kawaii Pi! (Aura)
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baby5522
Fank you Kawaii for your comment, your friend request and message. I will reply to that ASAP. Mes need my sweep, mes been up all night, most of today has been too warm, it cooled off a little too late in the evening for me, there has been so much mes have done today, somethings mea not had a chance to get around to doing.


Anyway it is so way past my baby bedtime, so for now, mes bid you a very good night.


HUGGLES & KWISSES
   



 it feels really good knowing that my advice can go so far! In school i'm still treated horribly by my peers, and they usually amount me as being worthless, so it's really good to know that i can help so much! I would love to be friends, and i hope it lasts a lifetime ^^  



I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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Kawaii Pi
i usually suffer from chronic insomnia and my bedroom is always the hottest in the house, so it adds to the difficulty. i hope u sleep well and have the sweetest dreams that u deserve. i just hope that ill get to sleep tonight at all. goodnight dear ^^
 Hugs and kisses from Kawaii Pi! (Aura)
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i reeds some of what you said andsys i do too suffer from mental illness i'm always open
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eyes suffer phew from mental illness i'm always open
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baby5522
Fank you so much Kawaii for your comment, just have woken up, but it's another warmn day, so mes going to wait until it cools down again, before mes do that reply to your message. Though it might be late, so hope you do not mind?


Yeth, heat adds a lot of difficulty for me with mes being an Asthma Sufferer. Hot weather is not good for the Asthma, so mes will be keeping cooled off at all times until it becomes naturally cooler itself.


HUGGLES & KWISSES
   



 i usually suffer from chronic insomnia and my bedroom is always the hottest in the house, so it adds to the difficulty. i hope u sleep well and have the sweetest dreams that u deserve. i just hope that ill get to sleep tonight at all. goodnight dear ^^  



I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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baby5522
Fank you for your comment too diapeyboy. Much appreciated.

HUGGLES & KWISSES
   



 i reeds some of what you said andsys i do too suffer from mental illness i'm always open  



I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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Kawaii Pi


 Fank you so much Kawaii for your comment, just have woken up, but it's another warmn day, so mes going to wait until it cools down again, before mes do that reply to your message. Though it might be late, so hope you do not mind?


Yeth, heat adds a lot of difficulty for me with mes being an Asthma Sufferer. Hot weather is not good for the Asthma, so mes will be keeping cooled off at all times until it becomes naturally cooler itself.


HUGGLES & KWISSES
   

 




that would be just fine darling ^^ i actually managed to get some sleep, a good 12 hours in fact! sawy u woke up so early, and i'm really sawy that ur an Asthmatic. my gramma has it too, and i have to drive her to the hospital whenever she has an attack, and i usually help pay the hospital bill as well to make it easier on her.

anyway, i hope u have an awesome day. i'm just sittin on the couch watchin Disney Channel with my sister while she paints pictures of fish. it's kinda cute actually ^^ either way, i hope u have a wonderful day friend!
 Hugs and kisses from Kawaii Pi! (Aura)
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baby5522
Fank you so much for your comment and sharing that with me Kawaii, much appreciated.


HUGGLES & KWISSES



 that would be just fine darling ^^ i actually managed to get some sleep, a good 12 hours in fact! sawy u woke up so early, and i'm really sawy that ur an Asthmatic. my gramma has it too, and i have to drive her to the hospital whenever she has an attack, and i usually help pay the hospital bill as well to make it easier on her.

anyway, i hope u have an awesome day. i'm just sittin on the couch watchin Disney Channel with my sister while she paints pictures of fish. it's kinda cute actually ^^ either way, i hope u have a wonderful day friend!  











I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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when mes was in schooly people treated like dirt because of my bipolar
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baby5522
Fank you for sharing that with me diapeyboy, though mes is sincerely sorry to hear that happened to you. Mes would be happy to be your friend too. Though respectfully, mes shall leave the matter up to you, again, fank you so very much.

HUGGLES & KWISSES



 when mes was in schooly people treated like dirt because of my bipolar  











I LOVE BEING A SISSY BABY PET


'Ask not what you can do for a Sissy. Ask a Sissy what they can do for you.'


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