I actually feel like a freak here

little_boy_pink

Posted March 16th, 2012 ~ 7:45 am

I get what you mean but I think that freak is the wrong world. We're a common interest group, it is common for the most extreme views to float to the surface; on top of which many people come here at their most vulnerable so there is a lot of positive reinforcement going on.
I think you do yourself down as far as coming out goes, you've got a fairly unique pool of experience to draw upon and that can be enough to give people strength or to curtail any silly ideas.
You're being too serious with your approach to the site, you need to make it your own and to adjust your expectations as this is a culture shock to just about anyone. It's good that it is for various reasons but there is the apparent side-effect of alienating you, which is unfortunate. I hesitate to ask, what is it that you expect the site to deliver?

As for the pink, hot-pink and black might be fine for fashion but a forum in that scheme would be an eyesore. Soft colours are good as is pink, this is the product.

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KitaSparkles

Posted March 16th, 2012 ~ 2:39 pm

: Being color blind myself, I do have a problem seeing some things on my screen with all the pink. Nevertheless I love it because it is so girly (I said girly, not girlish. No gender generalizing here! : )

Ashley - this site is all about being different. You said you have nothing to add to those threads, but that is ridiculous. You DO have something to add, because you just added it here! If your perspective on stuff is different, that is good. Post it on those threads! -)

Cliques:

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Fem Prince C

Posted March 16th, 2012 ~ 3:53 pm

Or start a fresh thread from your own prospective and experiences cos we're not all the same and I'd be the first admit some sections here just aren't me at all so I ignore them.
Dig?

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wittle_bwittany

Posted March 16th, 2012 ~ 6:26 pm

i hate to sound so blunt and mean, but you couldnt be more wrong about this site.

you and this site are a perfect match BECAUSE you dont relate to most of it. offer your own imput to something that really has nothing to do with you. that the point of a forum.

i love that you are so brave and strong to live the way you do, and i love that you went most of the way through transition only to decide it wasnt for you. THATS WHAT THIS PLACE ABOUT!!! its about getting your story out there and meeting and talking to people that understand and love you for sharing it.

and joanne_s isnt the only one that ignores entire sections completely. i do it too, because there's nothing there for me. "the corner" section isnt me because im not into punishment, and i avoid "baby and femmey tasks" because i dont have the self discipline to actually do whatever tasks would be given to me.

if you cant find anything that you relate to CREATE IT! there would be no site if people didnt post there own views and experiences.

thank you very much for sharing your story and i would love to chat with you sometime. drop me a PM if you want to talk.

hugs and kisses,

brittany

i am brittany her royal puffiness!!!

im officially in love with the color pink.

*hugs and kisses for all*

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AshleyAshes

Posted March 16th, 2012 ~ 10:29 pm

I hesitate to ask, what is it that you expect the site to deliver?

I'm not quite sure. I'm exploring I guess, I love femininity, cute things and diapers afterall. )

i love that you are so brave and strong to live the way you do, and i love that you went most of the way through transition only to decide it wasnt for you. THATS WHAT THIS PLACE ABOUT!!! its about getting your story out there and meeting and talking to people that understand and love you for sharing it.

I think you're giving me too much credit or I just got lucky cause it didn't require bravery or strength to do. Actually, the hardest part, and it was hard, was realizing it wasn't that hard. It was so utterly anti-climatic for me, all 'OMG WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY? D D' Really, while it may offend some people to hear it: I fell butt backwards into being a girl for two years. (See, that's nother thing that leaves me feeling unable to relate. ...Cause I get the feeling here that that sounds like an unimaginable series of events)

thank you very much for sharing your story and i would love to chat with you sometime. drop me a PM if you want to talk.

Well, if you have some topics in mind, feel free to hit me up. :P

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wittle_bwittany

Posted March 19th, 2012 ~ 4:25 pm

I think you're giving me too much credit or I just got lucky cause it didn't require bravery or strength to do. Actually, the hardest part, and it was hard, was realizing it wasn't that hard. It was so utterly anti-climatic for me, all 'OMG WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY? D D' Really, while it may offend some people to hear it: I fell butt backwards into being a girl for two years. (See, that's nother thing that leaves me feeling unable to relate. ...Cause I get the feeling here that that sounds like an unimaginable series of events)

that sounds like something that people might like to read. how in the hell did you "fall butt backwards into being a girl for two years"?

and no, im not offended, im intrigued. this is something i just gotta hear. if you wanna tell the whole story please post a thread about it.

i know exactly what you mean when you say the hardest part was realizing it wasnt hard at all. it takes a lot will power and sheer guts to get over that. believe me i know.

see? i told you had something offer here. please, dont feel like a freak. if anything, you should feel accomplished. you've pretty much done what everyone here wants to do.

i am brittany her royal puffiness!!!

im officially in love with the color pink.

*hugs and kisses for all*

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AshleyAshes

Posted March 19th, 2012 ~ 9:15 pm

that sounds like something that people might like to read. how in the hell did you "fall butt backwards into being a girl for two years"?

and no, im not offended, im intrigued. this is something i just gotta hear. if you wanna tell the whole story please post a thread about it.

There's not much to it really, it's simple so I rather doubt it'll fullfill anyone's sisification fantasies around here.

I was approaching that whole 'transsition' thing but then up and moved to a differnet, larger city, the one I live in now. During the approach I was gender confusing people but most people knew me from before I grew my hair out or things like that so their brains read me as 'guy'. But when I up and moved to a new city, all these new people... Everyone just thought I was a girl. I didn't up and say 'I go full time, now!', instead I went 'Oh... Uhh... I'm full time, wait, when did THAT happen?"

And detranssition was about as equally uneventful. Not like I up and cut my hair off or anything, so it was just pronouns and some chest padding. Even to this day I have college professors that I only met in September refering to me as female pronouns, half the time not even managing to correct themselves. So I may have detranssitioned but I never managed to be 'much of a man'.

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wittle_bwittany

Posted March 20th, 2012 ~ 3:13 pm

i wasnt exactly thinking it would "fulfill anyone's sissification fantasies". i was just thinking it might be an interesting story.

and it was fairly interesting. its a testament to how unobservant most people are. if you werent trying to hide being a guy and everyone still thought you were a girl either VERY convincing or people werent really looking.

i am brittany her royal puffiness!!!

im officially in love with the color pink.

*hugs and kisses for all*

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AshleyAshes

Posted March 23rd, 2012 ~ 3:46 am

i wasnt exactly thinking it would "fulfill anyone's sissification fantasies". i was just thinking it might be an interesting story.

and it was fairly interesting. its a testament to how unobservant most people are. if you werent trying to hide being a guy and everyone still thought you were a girl either VERY convincing or people werent really looking.

I guess I'm convincing. Even since detranssition, since I very much play the 'Girly Boy' thing, I seem to get away with a lot of things. It's freakishly hot here for the start of spring, lots of girls out in short denim shorts... ANd so was I, two days at school in denim shorts that only stopped an inch or so below my crotch, and a girls t-shirt. (I wear girls t-shirts all the time though). The only comment I got from classmates was 'Oh Ashley, you cut your hair!'. ...Seriously, it's amazing what I can get away. I think I'm just 'socially slotted in with the girls', as the primarily gay femboy can't be better slotted in anywhere else.

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clarisselovelace

Posted March 23rd, 2012 ~ 4:44 am

I am pretty fascinated by your story.

Even if you say you're not brave, you definitely are. There are numerous people here, including myself, who would never have the nerve to do what you did. You've climbed a mountain just by looking at it and saying "Really guys, it's not that high." I commend your willingness to embrace your true self. I think many people here would love to be able to do what you've done or at least experience for themselves what it feels like to do it.

The disconnect revolves around the concept that a lot of fantasy and repressed expression happens here but all of this is so normal and common to you that it must come across as "This is it?"

If you could do us one more courtesy while we're on the topic of how you became who you are today, could you tell us the story of how you got into wearing diapers or when you started to have thoughts and feelings along the lines of what you live as today?

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AshleyAshes

Posted March 23rd, 2012 ~ 12:13 pm

If you could do us one more courtesy while we're on the topic of how you became who you are today, could you tell us the story of how you got into wearing diapers or when you started to have thoughts and feelings along the lines of what you live as today?

For the diaper thing, I can always remember a fascination with diapers growing up so maybe that's part of it. I consumed my shair of diaper girl porn, amongst other things and had the fantasies on occassion. I was living on my own and just up and decided I'd get some diapers, wound up with some so-so Depends from the pharmacy. That went like that for a few years, it's a 'side' thing for me'. I could easily live without it but it's a fun game to play for sure. A bottle came into years later and even then it was a side thing. (Last week I had to boil my bottle, after I found it under my bed, dirty, I think it'd been there for 18 months.) This past summer I wanted some 'good' diapers and I realized there was a medical supply place local that carried Molicares and for a LOT less money than you could find them online for.

It also meshes in with other fantasies of mine, I mean, I have a lot of 'Boy Princess' fantasies where the cute boy gets all rescued by the big strong boy (Not a literal princess, but fitting into that archetype) so the 'baby' thing is also thematically similar. I also think it meshes with my love of panties, they can be like big, padded, crinkly panties that you can wet in.

And lemme tell you, I love panties. Boy's underwear is BORING and I don't even own any anymore. If I can have cute stuff on posters, on t-shirts and on my desktop wallpapers, I see no reason why I can't have cute stuff on my underwear. Not to mention, when you primarily wear girl's jeans, panties are 'cut' the same way so the go well together. Mens briefs and girls jeans would just be dumb.

As for thoughts of what I am today... I guess I just slowly became this. I do remember being a 'normal boy'. I had legos and thought about guns and liked my buzz cut. I wasn't in denial, I LIKED those things (Okay, Legos are STILL awesome, I know that if I ever adopt me some kids, they're getting legos instead of video games) Slowly homosexual and feminine thoughts just started 'leaking' into there starting at about the age of puberty, and once I was about 18 I started better embracing these things. It took time sure, like I said, I did the transsexual thing cause I didn't even know what a 'Girly Boy' was outside of some hyperbolic example like you see in caption threads on this forum... Or in a yaoi manga. Not exactly practical examples, ya know? And yeah, it's taken time to realize what one can get away with when 'tastefully done'.

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SissyDesiree

Posted March 23rd, 2012 ~ 10:34 pm

I love diapers, too!

Being different from the mainstream, or from the rest of us here, doesn't make you a freak. I can have different preferences and still respect yours. Hopefully, you can do the same.

Pink is associated with femininity in many people's minds (mine, too), so that's why we are drawn to it. Satiny black can be nice, too, say in a French Maid outfit.

You are always welcome here. If you don't see anything that matches your interests, feel free to make up your own stories, cappies, or whatever and post them. Maybe that will attract the attention of people who do share your interests. Or maybe people who like to play pretend would enjoy the sense of realism you could add to their games. I know I'd be interested in seeing your take on our world, probably others would as well.

- Sissy Desiree

- Sissy Desiree

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AshleyAshes

Posted March 24th, 2012 ~ 1:06 pm

If you don't see anything that matches your interests, feel free to make up your own stories, cappies, or whatever and post them. Maybe that will attract the attention of people who do share your interests. Or maybe people who like to play pretend would enjoy the sense of realism you could add to their games.

With the caps and stories, they're the part that really make me feel like a freak here. I just... I just can't get those. It's not even 'realisim' it's the absense of even a 'vague sense of plausability'. I can't take those sections of this forum seriously at all and skip over them. It is just soooooooooooooooo not my thing.

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KitaSparkles

Posted March 24th, 2012 ~ 3:17 pm

: Nobody expects anyone to absolutely adore every part of the site! That's why it is so big - Christie wanted to make sure there would be something for every type of "sissy". And there is.

The stories ... yes, some lack plausibility. They are not supposed to be REALISTIC (it is a story after all, a fantasy), but plausibility should be a factor a writer takes into account. But someone did take her time to type it out, and SOMEBODY likes it (I haven't seen one yet that got 0 replies), so it's okay.

(Jeez - I've SO mellowed in the last couple years. Maybe someone's been drugging me....)

If they aren't you thing, no problem. :-) Just look for what you do like.

Cliques:

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wittle_bwittany

Posted March 27th, 2012 ~ 6:49 pm

kita couldnt be more right. like i said, there are parts of the site that make me feel like i need to loosen up and try new things(referencing "the corner" and "baby/femmey tasks" sections), but in reality, im just not into those things. and thats fine.

so like everyone has said, if its not doing it for you, just dont pay it any attention. in all honesty, im not much for the captioned pic and stories either.

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AshleyAshes

Posted March 28th, 2012 ~ 6:17 am

kita couldnt be more right. like i said, there are parts of the site that make me feel like i need to loosen up and try new things(referencing "the corner" and "baby/femmey tasks" sections), but in reality, im just not into those things. and thats fine.

so like everyone has said, if its not doing it for you, just dont pay it any attention. in all honesty, im not much for the captioned pic and stories either.

Eh, I can't get into any of that really. The captions, in particularly, to me just seem contrived and unappealing. I can't enjoy a fictional scenario unless I think it could actually happen. That and the topics are always centered on forced feminization, and forced fem is something I can't enjoy because, well, look at, there's nothing to force. Even my professors normally refer to me with female pronouns 80% of the time. o.O

Embarrasment, to a degree, I could enjoy, but more in real world scenarios and the like.

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Fem Prince C

Posted March 28th, 2012 ~ 8:30 pm

Eh, I can't get into any of that really. The captions, in particularly, to me just seem contrived and unappealing. I can't enjoy a fictional scenario unless I think it could actually happen. That and the topics are always centered on forced feminization, and forced fem is something I can't enjoy because, well, look at, there's nothing to force. Even my professors normally refer to me with female pronouns 80% of the time. o.O

Embarrasment, to a degree, I could enjoy, but more in real world scenarios and the like.

I get that, A bit like a game of 'let's pretend to be something in reality most people see me as' and as satisfying.

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Lady_Mechanika

Posted April 8th, 2012 ~ 6:52 am

I think most of what needs to be said has been touched already. Yeah, I'm not into the "all bubble-gum" decor either... Give me some Dark Lolita instead! XD Actually I think it's so awesome that you feel comfortable in the "girly boy who likes boys" identity. It goes to show you how much further we have to go to understand - I mean truly understand that people come in 1001 different varieties in terms of gender/sex.

I would sooo love to wear daisy dukes, all smooth... pitch-black bangs and pigtails to class. With a pink spaghetti strap top (black and pink stripes? Red could work-, maybe not) ...and maybe some big red frame glasses XD *awesome* Why didn't I get to do that when the time was right? Sadly, college is behind me now. XD You have to understand I really had a small upper frame and baby/girly face in my college years when I was 18 up until 23, but I digress...

To tell you the truth I also may not participate in some threads (sorry girls). I am not a baby in my mind, nor do I need to fill the role of parent/child. I did experiment with pee and diapers in my earliest "discovery" stages (teenage years), but that came and went so fast as to call it fleeting; I did it -so what's all the fuzz about? I don't get it .__.

But unlike you, I am dead straight, and after years of self analysis and one episode of very severe depression, when I had a chance to disclose my sexuality to professional therapists, I finally came to understand that there are two sides to my sexuality (read my reply to this this post http://www.sissykiss.com/forum/threads/6681-Stop-Crossdressing-Maid-Manga) , but I know a gay relationship won't be anything but fleeting as my "pitter-pat" comes from girls. I'm just not attracted to "butch", either male or female :-/ *shrugs*

Sounds difficult, and I am realistic about how incredibly difficult it is, but it's by nooo means impossible, because of those "sexual permutations" I talked about above. Somewhere out there there is a girl just as kinky as I am >:3 Yes I'll be the nerdy/girly guy hanging around with the goth girls that all the jocks are (and should be) afraid about

; _ ; Damned "binary" gender roles in society and all that jazz - so out of step with reality.

Lady M.

PS: Girl: HOT TOPIC is NOT COOL - it's bad juju! (sorry I'm a steampunk and I have an inner hatred for such establishments)

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wittle_bwittany

Posted April 9th, 2012 ~ 5:32 pm

PS: Girl: HOT TOPIC is NOT COOL - it's bad juju! (sorry I'm a steampunk and I have an inner hatred for such establishments)

*gasp* blasphemy! blasphemy i says! hot topic AWESOME! its my favorite store. there expensive as hell, but they have the most awesome stuff ever.

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AshleyAshes

Posted April 9th, 2012 ~ 8:59 pm

*gasp* blasphemy! blasphemy i says! hot topic AWESOME! its my favorite store. there expensive as hell, but they have the most awesome stuff ever.

We don't actually have Hot Topic here in Canada, though some stores sell things to a similar style. I'll even be wearing my TrippNYC Punk/Goth dress to school tomorrow, while I cover a drag event for news class. I'll probably post the YouTube video later this week. :P

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wittle_bwittany

Posted April 10th, 2012 ~ 8:37 pm

We don't actually have Hot Topic here in Canada, though some stores sell things to a similar style. I'll even be wearing my TrippNYC Punk/Goth dress to school tomorrow, while I cover a drag event for news class. I'll probably post the YouTube video later this week. :P

oh, now thats cool. i'd like to see that.

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