I've been googling for a sissy forum and here I am
I'm pretty shy IRL so using the internet is easy to me, I'm not sure if I had the courage to do it if you were a real-life group! Not yet anyway. Besides, I'm so much more articulate when I get all the time in the world to write instead of blabbering incoherent nonsense which I usually do!
I'm 22 years old sissy-wannabe from Israel, coming out of the closet for the first time... *bites lip* No clapping, please.
I'm living with my parents, but don't know my desires, they probably never will. They won't be able to understand. So either I do it secretly or I'll work out the funds to get my own apartment. Still not sure what it's gonna be.
For a long time I've only fantasized, thinking what if... but only about a few weeks ago I started feminizing myself by dropping a lot of extra weight (there's still some work to do, I'm on a strict diet) and not cutting my hair!! I always wanted to grow my hair but my parents never let me. It's always an argument, and I hate looking myself at the mirror after a haircut, so butch... so not me or what I want. I finally put my foot down, and ever since I cut my hair a month ago I vowed to myself to never do it again and they will just have to deal with it. It still hasn't grown much, staring at the mirror waiting for it to grow faster doesn't seem to help from some reason. Grrr.
I still have a lot of "natural male" mannerisms that I'm trying to get rid of, I've developed them because society seem to have demanded them from me. You know, acting macho, not "really" being macho, just acting like it. I don't want anyone to get suspicious, even though my fears of insects and the girly shouts I make when I see them sometimes raise an eyebrow! But I'm anything but that person I usually portray so people won't get suspicious... it's just sad when you can't be yourself inside and out.
I hope I'm not writing too much here!
I think it all started when I started role-playing females in an online role-playing game 6 years ago that triggered something that gave me strange satisfaction...felt wrong, but good...
There's a pic of me in my profile.